Relics- The Chronicles of Solomon Drake

by Robert York

  “Well now we can get going. I see that you’ve finished your preening,” Barnabas said jokingly.

  Snickers filled the room as Adrianna excused herself from Mari strolling over to me. I lifted a fist brandishing it at Barnabas in a “To The Moon” gesture, any fan of the Honeymooners would appreciate. She admired my winter wear stopping close to me - and by close I mean you couldn’t have slid a playing card between us - Adrianna ran a gloved hand over the fur of my hood as though she were caressing the fine pelt of a mink or some other animal used in the furrier trade. Her eyes had a smoky, sultry quality to them and when she spoke my heart melted.

  “I think he looks handsome,”

  Her finger traced the line of my jaw, which sent ripples through my body as she gave me a wink.

  “I. Uh. Thank you,” I replied.

  She bit her bottom lip turning away walking over to stand by Bart.

  “Alright,” Barnabas said. We need to get moving.”

  Barnabas took up his battle staff, which leaned against the edge of the counter. He made his way around it to stand in a circle design that was set in the floor.

  “If everyone could please gather around me.”

  I grabbed my pack and snowshoes from the counter, shrugged into it as I went to stand with the others. Juggling the snowshoes and staff was another chore entirely. The circle was made of various metals including gold, silver, copper and a little platinum. The design was roughly one hundred and twenty inches in diameter set flush into the floor. It was made up of three interlocking circles in the center forming a triangle. Around the three circles were various arcane occult symbols and designs. I’d spent many nights on my hands and knees polishing the metal with metal cleaner keeping the design free of tarnish, so I was pretty familiar with how it looked.

  “Everyone within the circle if you please, we don’t want to leave pieces of you here when we go,” he said soberly.

  As if that sort of thing happened all too often. I wasn’t sure if he was being serious or having a laugh at our expense. We’d know shortly one way or the other.

  We did as he instructed. It was difficult to remain within the circle while wearing our backpacks, but we somehow managed it.

  “Now there’s a snowstorm raging where we’re going please make sure you have yourselves bundled up,”

  With that, we pulled on our hats, put up our hoods, slipped on or gloves and ski goggles. We appeared to be a bunch of hapless mountaineers ready to tackle Pikes Peak. I looked around at each of us and began to get an unsettling feeling. Up until now it hadn’t occurred to me, how much could we really trust Adrianna and Bart? So far we had all be playing nice for the common good. Given an opportunity would they betray us? I’ve remained alive this long mainly being suspicious of others and staying as far away from trouble as I could, granted I’ve been wrong from time to time in my ability to read others. Barnabas seemed to trust them, I just wondered if his trust was misplaced or misguided this time. Having Race along might be his way of evening the odds. Werewolves were formidable creatures and on their best day four Vampires would have a hard time taking one out. I was never good at sleeping with one eye open - mainly because I was addicted to sleep and got so little of it - but I had a feeling by the time that this was all over I’d be an expert at it.

  “I want to take this opportunity to warn you first timers that the effects of this may seem uncomfortable and disorienting, I assure you however that affects will be temporary and the cold air will help set you right in no time,” Barnabas said in a disinterested flight attendants voice explaining how your cushion could be used as a floatation device.

  I thought I heard an audible gulp from everyone assembled, I couldn’t be sure so I chalked it up to nerves.

  “Barney,” Mari said hurrying up to him. “Be careful and come back to me.”

  Barnabas smiled handing his staff off to me, which I expertly juggled even though my hands were full of my own crap - that last statement was figurative and not literal, just in case you were wondering - he took her into his arms.

  “My dear, the devil himself couldn’t keep me from you,” Barnabas said in a tone filled with love and devotion.

  Then he did something that I had rarely seen him do; Barnabas leaned down planting a movie like kiss on Mari’s waiting lips. I think we all let out an “Awe.” - except for Bart, his heart had to be made of stone - Their cheeks flushed a bit, but our heartfelt expression went unnoticed as their kiss went on for some time. After the first few seconds it started to get a tad uncomfortable. We all had the good sense and respect to look away concentrating on other things around the shop. I decided to gaze into a mirror directly behind Adrianna, the vantage point gave me a wonderful view of her shapely behind. Out of the corner of my eye I saw their kiss end when Barnabas straighten. He had a nice shade of black cherry lips stick in the shape of Mari’s lips on his. She smiled apologetically, reaching into her sweater pocket producing a handkerchief, which she folded over her index finger wiping the lipstick from Barnabas’s lips. He flashed her a devil may care smile then cleared his throat as he took back his staff.

  “Right,” Barnabas said. “Now we can go.”

  He gave a wink to Mari then elbowed me in the ribs. I think it had something to do with the fish lips thing I was doing with my mouth.

  “Remember to activate the defenses as soon as we leave, Bobum and his people will take care of the outside.”

  “Yes, yes,” Mari said in a mildly annoyed tone stepping out of the circle. “I’ll remember.”

  Barnabas took the end of his staff placing it on a circle near the outer ring. He pressed his staff down causing a little mechanical clicking sound of metal on metal. A wall of pulsating yellow energy swirled into existence around us. The energy moved at an ever-increasing rate of speed expanding inward toward us. Energy flowed over and around us like water. When the energy finished filling the center of the circle there was a brief flash of white-hot light and we were no longer standing in the magic shop.

  Chapter 16

  I‘ve never really thought about or even considered what it would’ve felt like to be a washcloth getting rung out. An uncomfortable disorientating feeling of being squeezed tightly for every last bit of moisture remaining in the cotton fibers, an off the wall thing to be thinking about I know. After this trip however, I could definitely appreciate that feeling. I decided then and there, that I wanted no part of this type of travel in the future. When the swirling circle of magical energy dissipated and our senses returned to normal, we found ourselves standing in the middle of a raging snowstorm with a deep biting cold nipping at everything the elements could get to. I took in our surroundings, my vision still spinning like I’d just gotten off a “Tilt A Whirl” carnival ride.

  In the distance before us I viewed a wide mountain range that stretched for miles. A thick covering of clouds obscured the peaks and most of their size couldn’t be determined. I was surprised that given the amount of snow falling visibility wasn’t as poor as it could’ve been. A dense suffocating forest of trees dusted with thick layers of snow surrounded us. Their dark trunks stood out starkly against the unmarred whiteness of the snow. Like pillars from some unholy cathedral.

  Somewhere off to our left - I had no idea of the distance - I thought I heard what sounded like the flowing water of a slow moving river. As I made a slow turning circle, I got the distinct impression that not many human beings had trudged this way before if at all. Wherever we were it was remote and isolated. After a moment or two of getting my bearings, I realized we were standing in a circle roughly the same size as the portal we’d left. The force of the energy had cleared snow as we appeared in the space. The design of this circle was uncannily similar to the one at the magic shop save one major difference. This one was chiseled into a type of obsidian shimmering quartz stone rather than set in wood. Snow was piled around us a good three feet high. We were going to have a hell of a time making our way through that even with snowshoes. I worried more a
bout Tilly. The little guy would never make it through that. One of us would have to carry him.

  I turned back to the others in time to see Race shrugging out of the last of his clothing. He squatted down stuffing them into his pack. Now free of his confining clothes steam rose off his body in steady plumes. After fastening his pack he stood, handing it off to Tilly. Race flashed a cocky smile followed by a wink right before his form shimmered, transforming into the large black wolf that I’d seen him change into earlier that day. Race let out two deep-chested barks before lying down in front of Tilly. The little Elf flung Race’s pack up onto the wolf’s back then scrambled up himself. Settling onto Race’s back behind the shoulders, he wedged the pack under him grabbing two handfuls of fur as Race got to his feet.

  Adrianna moved over to Barnabas as my adoptive father knelt down to put on his snowshoes.

  “Where exactly are we,” she asked in a raised voice to be heard over the background noise.

  “Siberia, near the Ob River,” he said in a similar tone. “About five miles from our destination.”

  Adrianna nodded turning to Bart giving a curt nod. He inclined his head then gracefully leapt up onto the rim of snow piled around the circle peering around us in a searching pattern.

  I turned to Adrianna and asked.

  “What’s he doing?”

  “He’s scouting for us. Bartholomew has excellent eyesight and hearing,” she replied.

  It was possible that I had a suspicious look on my face or my body exuded mistrust because Adrianna smiled patiently like a reproving schoolteacher then said.

  “Don’t worry Sol, Bartholomew and I have given our word to Barnabas and we will honor it. He’s dealt honorably with us and even put his life in danger to warn us of his suspicions and we’ll not forget that.”

  I nodded as she finished. Her words making me feel more at ease. A devious smile appeared on her face. I watched her take out a smart phone holding it in front of her turning one way then another as though she were checking reception.

  “Besides, there’s no chance of getting a signal in this remote area and absolutely no way of calling my people to help us kill you if that were our intention.”

  I chuckled. Nervously.

  She placed her phone back inside her coat patting me gently on the cheek. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been frightened by her words and the cold chill running down my spine was because of the weather. Even though she was joking - at least I thought she was joking - it was still a scary proposition that her people were only a phone call away. I looked to Bartholomew; though his face was only in profile I could see a satisfied grin on his face. Vampires it seemed were completely sadistic.

  Adrianna joined Bart at the rim of the circle as Barnabas stood. He elbowed me gently in the small of my back getting my attention. He pointed to my snowshoes dangling limply in my right hand. I nodded absently then knelt to put them on. Barnabas trudged up to the Vampires. Race barked an annoyed bark - which was probably meant for me - then plowed into the snow. I was left to put on my snowshoes with shaking hands, that weren’t a result of the cold weather and reflected on whether or not I would make it back home. You want to know the funny thing that was running through my mind? It had nothing to do with my predicament or impending unseen fate. The thought that my mind was fixated on at the moment was that I, the crazed irresponsible person that I am, was becoming attracted to Adrianna.

  A Vampire. I know, crazy right?

  Granted the more I thought about it, the more I thought that I had a snowball’s chance in hell of her even thinking twice about me. I mean come on. To her I was nothing. I had no money, no political standing, my sexual experience was inadequate at best and I had no place of my own to take her back too even if I wanted to try and put the moves on her. There was a bright side however, she was flirting with me after all and I didn’t see any flirtation directed at Race or even Barnabas. Maybe there was something there. Maybe she saw something in me that she liked.

  OK, other than my blood.

  Or maybe I was just being stupid and my heart was going pitter pat because she showed a little interest and kindness toward me. You can probably tell that my experience with women is non-existent. I could count on one hand how many dates and girlfriends I’ve had over the years. The last girl I dated was about four years ago. Lori Simms was her name. We met as fate would have it at a gas station. Lori had somehow locked her keys inside her car. Me being the gentleman that I am was kind enough to unlock her door. One of the other gas station patrons had a coat hanger in their trunk.

  I made a great show of bending the hanger to a useable shape, inserting it into the gap between the window and the door on the driver’s side. Then when no one was watching, I unlocked it with a simple magical spell. I looked like such a rock star that she invited me out to dinner to thank me. That relationship lasted nearly two months and then as what usually happened, tragedy struck. I made the mistake of bringing Lori home, to the magic shop. To be fair I really should’ve called first to check to see what Barnabas was doing. Lori and I were in the area and on the spur of the moment I asked her if she wanted to meet the man I called dad. How the hell was I supposed to know that Barnabas was helping a pair of grief stricken Goblins nurse their Bog Salamander back to health in the back room of the shop. I know what you might be thinking,

  “What’s so bad about a Bog Salamander?”

  First off, they aren’t the cute little spotted amphibians kids fish out of ponds all across the country. Bog Salamanders grow to about eight feet long with huge shovel shaped heads, thick bodies and are often mistaken for alligators in the wild. They also secrete a green colored mucus that’s highly prized in the potion brewing industry. The mucus is used as a catalyst in many of the more complicated potions. An ounce of the stuff could fetch ten gold pieces easy.

  Lori handled the Goblins all right, I have to give her that. She obviously was uneasy about the whole situation, but she acted like a little trooper. Lori even looked on with good humor as Barnabas doctored the salamander. She completely and utterly freaked however when the damn thing spat a basketball sized glob of mucus onto her face and chest. The Goblins produced glass vials from their frock coats then proceeded to industriously collect the mucus from off Lori. Needless to say the Goblins pursued her when she bolted like a scared rabbit, all the while believing that she was absconding with their valuable property. I caught up to them and persuaded Lori to allow the Goblins to collect as much of the mucus as they could or they wouldn’t leave her alone.

  Reluctantly she did so with as much grace and courage as the situation warranted. When they were finished with their harvest, they gratefully thrust a leather bag into her hand, bowing respectfully then hurried back to the shop. The next few moments didn’t go so well for me. I received a hard slap on the face followed by a harsh warning never to call her again. To make her point even clearer, she threw the bag – which I found out later was filled with gold and jewels - forcefully at my chest then stormed off crying.

  I shook my head standing, the last buckle fastened on my snowshoes and a feeling of melancholy settling over me. I took in a breath, exhaling a deep sigh. Maybe I should just start accepting the fact that I’m destined to be alone. There were very few Wizards that had any luck what so ever meeting someone or even settling down. Being a Wizard is an exceptionally cool job. The forces of nature are yours to command yet with all that power a guy still can’t get a girl to go out with him. Oh well, a subject best to be brooded over another time. Right now I had to keep my mind focused and ready for what might lay ahead. Though, I really didn’t know much about that either.

  I shambled up the snowdrift to join the others. Barnabas consulted a map and compass getting his bearings before we set off. Five miles would be quite a hike in this storm. The last thing we’d want to do is get ourselves lost right at the start. Race prowled around doing what dogs do, sniffing the snow relentlessly. I half expected him to sidle up to a tree and hike his leg on it.
I watched him prowl around; I became acutely aware of how actually cold it was. The hole blunted most of the effects from the storm, but now standing in the full force of the biting arctic gale mixed with swirling snow I shivered uncontrollably longing for my nice warm bed and convenience of an adjustable thermostat.

  “We have to trek through the forest to our right in order to avoid some of Bialek’s defenses,” Barnabas said in a raised voice for all of us to hear.

  “Will we get to our destination in a more timely manner?” Adrianna asked, her voice rose as well. “I’m concerned about the Elf, I’m not sure how much exposure to the elements he can tolerate.”

  Barnabas and I looked over to Tilly. Even with the added heat from Race’s wolf form his teeth chattered together with the rapidity of a jackhammer. Barnabas nodded in agreement.

  “We may need to stop and set up camp along the way,” Barnabas said. “Night will be upon us with in a few hours.”

  “Then I suggest we get moving Barnabas,” Adrianna replied.

  “Stay together and in visual range, with the intensity of this storm we could lose track of one another quickly.”

  Barnabas turned to Bart handing him the map and compass.

  “Adrianna has confidence in your abilities, as do I… I would deem it a favor if you would lead us to our destination,” Barnabas said. “We are indicated as these red dots here.”

  He pointed them out with a gloved finger.

  “The blue dots are the defenses we have to navigate through and our destination is the black square.”

  Bart’s attitude became suspicious he glared at Barnabas.

  “Why do you want me to lead you Wizard,” He asked in a guarded tone.

  Barnabas smiled.

  “Should weather conditions worsen, we may need to separate, only Adrianna, Race and yourself would be able to get Tilly to Bialek’s quickly.” Barnabas said in a grave tone. “Solomon and I would only slow you down.”