Falling for the Forbidden: 10 Full-Length Novels

by Jessica Hawkins

  Cristiano had a face made to lure prey, a voice as powerful as the sensation of skin on skin, a presence that demanded my attention. But I knew the danger he presented—how could I possibly harbor any attraction to him? What had given me the confidence that he hadn’t brought me up here to hurt me? My body and mind betrayed me.

  As he dug the tweezers into a particularly sensitive spot, I clenched my fist around the towel of ice and sucked in a breath. He raised his eyes to mine. “Mmm,” he said. “Qué interesante.”

  “What’s interesting?” I breathed.

  “You’re excited by a little pinch.”

  “I am not. I’m in pain.”

  “And a part of you likes it.” He blinked lazily at me. “A part of me likes it.”

  I inhaled. Please tell the heavens it is my dying wish to hear you scream. The warmth he’d awakened in me simmered to a tingle between my legs. Why did things that should intimidate me arouse me instead? So far, his threats had been hollow, but just because Cristiano was handling me gently now didn’t mean I was in the clear.

  “I’ll bet you wish your guards were here now,” he said with an almost imperceptible smile.

  “I want my gun back,” I said.

  He paused, then glanced up at me. “Will you learn how to use her?”

  “Yes.”

  He extracted more shards and wiped them on a towel before setting aside the tweezers to spread antibiotic ointment onto the wounds. “Better?” he asked when I put down the ice pack and rolled my numb shoulder.

  I mumbled my agreement as he applied bandages to the deepest cuts. He smoothed his thumb back and forth over the final one to make it stick but didn’t stop there. The pad of his finger slid to my ankle, and he turned my foot over to inspect it. It tickled slightly, but resisting the urge to squirm only made me more aware of his palm as it grazed upward. His breath shallowed as he looked over my leg, then glanced at me. His pupils dilated, and his eyes grew darker.

  My heart pounded, not just because his hand kept going but also with surprise for the effect I had on someone as taciturn as Cristiano. He wanted me and wasn’t hiding it. My traitorous body came alive under his firm but deliberate examination. I shouldn’t notice how good his touch felt. I should have cared that we were alone and nobody could hear me scream.

  As Cristiano moved the hem of my robe aside, I slapped my hand over his, stopping him in his tracks. “I’m waiting until marriage,” I blurted. I wasn’t sure why I said it, or why I thought that might deter him.

  His lip curled in a way I could only interpret as angry. “A virgin?”

  I swallowed as an electric current passed between us.

  His fingertips dug into my thigh. “You’ve saved yourself,” he said slowly, half statement, half question. “And you think using that as an argument won’t have the opposite effect you want it to?”

  My brain scrambled to keep up. It sounded as if he meant my virginity was something he’d want, but I couldn’t fathom why. I wouldn’t know what to do with a man as experienced as he was.

  But I could learn.

  I forced the thought away. “I’ve saved myself for Diego,” I said. “You’d be taking that away from him. From me.”

  His nostrils flared. “You think I’d go as far as to rape you in your father’s home?”

  My thigh pulsated with warmth where his hand had stopped, my skin sensitive under his rough palm. “I think back then, whatever plans you had were interrupted by my mother or by me. And I think you’re too smart to make that same mistake twice.”

  His gaze drifted down between my legs, where only a silky piece of fabric hid what he so clearly wanted. “Plans? Regretfully, I have none for you, Natalia.”

  He stood and returned to the sink to replace his watch and the contents of his pockets. I waited, tense as a bowstring, until he left the room. And I didn’t breathe again until I heard the front door close.

  Once the immediate fear of what Cristiano might do subsided, a violent tremble overtook me. I waited for relief to come, but adrenaline coursed through me. Now that I was alone, I felt as if I should do something. I was safe, but would it last? How long until he returned? Until he struck again?

  I hugged my shoulders, dropped to my knees on the bathroom floor, and crossed myself. I thanked La Virgen de Guadalupe for sparing myself and Diego.

  Then I prayed I’d never see Cristiano again.

  Cristiano

  In my office overlooking La Madrina, I fixed a drink. Mid-afternoon, the nightclub was quiet as the cleaning crew scrubbed the downstairs floors and walls. In a few hours, the bar staff would prepare for all the sinners who’d spend their Good Friday night celebrating tonight’s theme—la iglesia roja. Red church. Sturdy construction would mute the thump of bass, and the dancefloor’s crimson glow would make my office look like an opium den.

  I’d been up most of the night, but I felt invigorated. Serving justice could do that to a man. With a third direct attack on his deal, Diego would’ve worked everything out by now—but he’d be missing the final piece. “You can expect my brother any minute,” I said to Maksim, who stood straight-backed by the door to my office.

  “I figured.”

  I held up a bottle of Rey Sol Añejo. “Drink?” I asked.

  “Nah.” Max chewed on a toothpick. “Guess I should have my wits about me. His claws will be out.”

  “He’ll fight, but not physically. He can’t win. Instead, he’ll try to manipulate the game board.”

  Diego had run out of moves, though. After over a decade of being hunted by my brother, our day of reckoning had come. Only, I wasn’t the one caught in a trap. For a third of my life, I’d been mislabeled a traitor, had been forced from friends, family, and a life I’d valued, and I’d done whatever I’d had to in order to survive. And in mere moments, Diego would pay the price for it.

  I swirled my drink, breathing in caramel and tobacco. “Try not to kill him if you can help it.”

  Max’s two-way radio beeped and Alejo’s voice came through. “We’ve got a visitor.”

  “Bring him in,” I said.

  Max removed his assault rifle from across his body and held it with one hand. “You got it, jefe.”

  “Oye. Muy bien. Your Spanish is coming along.”

  With barely a chuckle, Max went downstairs to meet Diego and his other escorts. I shrugged into my suit jacket and stood at the one-sided glass wall. I wasn’t in the habit of spending so much time at the club, but it’d been easier to conduct business here than drive back and forth from the Badlands. The evening before, I’d been on a call to Turkey when my men had alerted me of Natalia’s presence. I could still see her now, all bronze legs and arms, the ends of her black hair brushing her waist as she’d moved her hips to disco. Her wide, nervous eyes as she’d turned to face me on the dancefloor.

  I shouldn’t have been surprised to return home and find Natalia so enchanting—she’d always fascinated me, but not just with her beauty. She tested boundaries, even when fearful. Especially when fearful. She’d manipulated her parents in childish but effective ways. She held unwavering devotion to my brother. Her sheltered childhood had given her a false sense of safety as an adult, but I’d hoped her mother’s death, and our encounter that day, would scare her into obedience. I didn’t know if it was more frustrating or charming that it hadn’t.

  She’d still dangled herself as bait in front of me, a man she knew to be dangerous. A man she believed was her mother’s murderer. Every time I tried to scare her, she returned for more. Even hours earlier, when I’d stood at her back in her bedroom and had practically watched her imagination run wild with all the possible things I could to do to her while we were alone, she hadn’t cowered long.

  She should cower, though. Testing boundaries got her into trouble. Case in point—she’d stupidly spent last night in the most dangerous place possible.

  With Diego. For Diego.

  It hadn’t occurred to me they might be there. None of my men had seen her
. I gripped my glass at the thought of Diego alone with her all night. It was like the unnerving feeling I’d gotten when I’d come across them in the courtyard at the costume party. Jealousy had warred with my fury. Any other time, I would’ve been delighted to catch Diego in a vulnerable moment, but Bianca Cruz’s dying words had been for me. A plea. And no matter how far I’d run, or how hard I’d worked, I’d never forgotten them. And that tied me to Natalia in ways she didn’t understand.

  Maybe Natalia Lourdes was no longer my responsibility, but that instinct to protect her remained. Seeing her again had reawakened an unwelcome fondness for her, but my fascination wasn’t nearly as innocent as it’d once been. But who could blame me?

  She had mesmerizing violet eyes that could charm a man to walk into a burning building.

  Long legs that could wrap around him for days.

  And I hadn’t stopped thinking about that virgin pussy since this morning.

  Diego wouldn’t know what the fuck to do with a panocha like that. I knew exactly what I’d do with it, though. And it would start with my tongue buried so deep inside her, I’d be tasting her for weeks.

  With a knock at the door, I took a moment to collect myself. This was why I didn’t fuck with sirens like Natalia King Cruz. I was thinking about her when I’d spent years anticipating this final standoff with my brother. Costa had cleared my name, and I was back where I belonged—but I still had one more loose end to tie up. I couldn’t let Diego’s faithlessness in me go unpunished.

  And I was going to revel in every moment of what was to come.

  I turned from the window. “Pasen.”

  Maksim entered first, followed by two of my men as they restrained Diego. Max tossed a semi-automatic pistol next to the bottle of tequila on my desk. “He’s clean.”

  “My brother shouldn’t cause you any trouble,” I said, picking up a second glass from the drink tray to pour a fresh one. “He’s smart enough to know he’s cornered.”

  “Your head of security has a glass eye and your bouncer a severe limp,” Diego said. “They’d be lucky to get a shot anywhere near a target.”

  “I’d think twice about insulting anyone in this room.” I gestured at a club chair. “Have a seat.”

  “I’m not staying,” Diego said. Covered in ash and soot, with cuts along his face and hands, my brother looked as if he’d been up all night fighting for his life. Which, I supposed he had.

  “Siéntate,” Eduardo ordered.

  “You were expecting me.” Diego sat on the edge of the chair. “Why not show up at the warehouse like a man to face those you ruined?”

  “I had something to attend to at Costa’s.” I held out the tequila to him. “Here.”

  He waved off the drink. “Costa was with me.”

  “¿Seguro? Are you sure?” I asked, offering it again. “It’s top-shelf. A special edition sent especially from a tequila bar in Guadalajara.”

  “I’m sure what’s ‘special’ about it is a dram of poison,” Diego said.

  I gave Eduardo the glass. “Enjoy, compadre,” I said.

  Ed nodded as he accepted it. “Gracias, señor.”

  I returned in front of Diego, picked up my drink, and sat back against the edge of my desk. “Costa left his poor, trembling daughter alone in that big house this morning. And during such a dangerous time.” I frowned into my drink. “I took it upon myself to offer her my protection. And my comfort.”

  Diego narrowed his eyes on me. “What’d you do to Natalia?”

  “Nothing she didn’t enjoy—don’t worry.”

  “Vete a la chingada,” he said, jumping out of his chair. “Fuck you, pinche puto pendejo.”

  As Diego released a string of curses, I held up a hand to stop my men from drawing their weapons. Had I hit a nerve? When it came to Costa and his family, Diego put on an admirable performance, but today, we had no audience. Could it be that his feelings for Natalia were genuine? I smiled. That would make this even more interesting. Diego was about to lose more than I could’ve even planned for.

  “You almost killed her this morning,” Diego said.

  She wasn’t supposed to have been at the warehouse, nor was he. It was a fuck-up on my part, but I wouldn’t let him see that. “Tranquilo,” I said, keeping my tone light to calm him. “I simply bandaged her up.” Bandaged her up and resisted my every urge to fuck her until she forgot my brother’s name. If waiting years for this moment with Diego wasn’t evidence of my unrivaled self-control, removing my hands from Natalia’s smooth, firm thigh was.

  A round with me and she’d question everything she knew—including her devotion to Diego. It hadn’t occurred to me until now that she might actually mean something to him.

  “She was trapped on the roof of the warehouse with no way out,” I said. “Luckily, I was there, or she’d have been burned alive.”

  “You say that like it was a coincidence,” he said. “You planned it that way.”

  “Planned it? No. I was supposed to watch from a distance as your hopes, dreams, and livelihood went up in smoke.” I took a sip. “I hadn’t intended to risk my own life for your Natalia.” Despite the silky vanilla-almond flavor the tequila had left, ‘your Natalia’ tasted bitter on my tongue. My Natalia sounded better, but I couldn’t entertain that thought.

  After this, she’d never forgive me.

  “You did this, Cristiano,” Diego said evenly, taking a step toward me. “The hits on the safe houses. The tunnel explosion. The warehouse fire. You’re responsible for all of it. And now, I have nothing to offer the Maldonados but ashes.”

  I stood to meet him. “I warned you one shot was all you’d get,” I said. “You missed. That was your mistake.”

  “I’ve never taken a shot at family. That was you.”

  “You put me in front of the firing squad, which is worse,” I said, holding his stare. “First, by accusing me of Bianca’s murder, then years later when I reached out to you for help. You sent men to kill me as soon as you knew where I was, and they came home empty-handed. Never take aim if you can’t hit the bullseye. You missed both times.”

  “You went to Costa, our family’s enemy, with information that you knew would get our parents killed,” he said, balling his fists. “I tried turning you over to Costa, yes, but that’s no different than what you did to our mother and father.”

  “It’s completely different. The victims of my crimes are never victims—they know exactly the risks of the life they lead.” I picked up the tequila bottle in the likeness of a smiling golden sun and pulled off the top. “Our parents were getting deeper and deeper into trafficking innocent children and women,” I said. “I went to Costa for help because you and I were too young to do anything, and they had to be stopped.”

  “Nothing breaks the bond of family,” Diego said. “Costa might’ve pulled the trigger, but you murdered them. Their blood is on your hands.”

  I made a show of checking my knuckles. They were callused and scarred from years of defense, offense, and survival. But there wasn’t a spot of blood on them. “You’re one to talk about breaking family bonds.” I refilled my drink. “Do you know what tomorrow is, Diego?”

  Diego took my drink off the desk and gulped from it. “Holy Saturday.”

  “The burning of Judas.” I filled another glass on the tray for myself. “We’ll be celebrating here at the club in case you know any traitors. There’s still time to make an effigy.”

  “Then make it in your likeness.” His nostrils flared. He thrust the glass in my direction, and tequila sloshed over the side as he pointed. “You killed our parents.”

  “Costa did.”

  “And he has paid half the price,” Diego bit out. “His debt will be settled once his daughter chooses me over him. Once he realizes I can take her away from him if I choose. But you haven’t been made to pay at all.”

  “I’ve paid, believe me. The Cruzes were my family, and they turned on me for a crime I didn’t commit.”

  “They are not
your family!” He shoved a hand in his hair and turned around, pacing to the glass. “They never were. You don’t deserve one after what you did to ours.”

  The Cruzes had been family to me once, especially Bianca. Costa’s wife could’ve easily cast me off or ignored me as she had Diego—who, I was certain, she’d seen through from the start.

  But she hadn’t. She’d cared for me the way a mother should when she had no reason to. But she’d never get to speak her truth—so I would do it for her.

  “Bianca was family,” I said. “You didn’t know her like I did.”

  “No, I never got the privilege,” Diego said, turning back to level me with a glare. “We all know how well you knew her. Despite Costa’s pardon, the state they found her in speaks for itself.”

  I dropped my glass and charged at him, seizing him by his shirt. “I never touched her, and you know it. You talk of loyalty but reek of betrayal, and that’s why she kept you at arm’s length. It’s why Costa will never let you near his daughter. They only trust you so far.”

  Diego grabbed my lapels to try to push me off, but Max drew his gun in a split second. Glass eye or not, my right-hand man had as unshakeable an allegiance to me as I did to him, and that made him a killer of the deadliest sort. Diego clenched his teeth but let go of my jacket.

  “You’ve planted some bullshit ideas in Natalia’s head,” I said, “but don’t think I don’t know where they came from. You’re the one with plans to take over, not me.”

  Diego laughed grimly. “I’ll do it the noble way. I don’t have to force a woman like you. My plans are to marry Natalia, who loves me, and stand by Costa’s side until he’s ready to hand over the reins.”

  I released him with a shove. It was uncanny, my ability to sniff out when my brother was lying. Why other certain people couldn’t see it, I had no idea. “You fused yourself to Natalia when she was most vulnerable. Bianca would never have allowed you to get so close to her. You saw an opportunity and you took it. And if Costa wasn’t going to give you what you wanted, you were going to use Natalia’s love for you against him.”