Falling for the Forbidden: 10 Full-Length Novels

by Jessica Hawkins

  Seeing that I have precious little time, I should be searching for a way to keep my beautiful toy, not slamming my study door, and stalking the hallway like a crazed man, my steps taking me where they always do, Valentina’s room. It’s late. Magda and Carly have long since gone to bed, but I still keep a watchful eye.

  Just a few minutes. I need a break to clear my mind. Chasing improbable solutions to escape Magda’s promise has sent me in circles like a dog chasing his own tail. I need to hold her, see her, taste her, breathe her, to calm the clawing fear of losing her.

  When I walk into her bedroom, she steps from the bathroom, her hair wet and her body damp. She stops in the doorframe. The bandage is dry. Good. The last thing I want is more worry. I need her too much.

  For a few seconds, we have a stare-down, each one of us waiting for the other to make a move. There are a million things I can do with her. I should punish her for this morning’s obstinance when she gave me the cold shoulder, but I won’t touch her like that when she’s injured. I haven’t yet made up my mind when she closes the distance between us, placing her delicate body in front of mine like a vulnerable white pawn in the path of the black stallion’s hooves. The position is a physical reminder of the difference in power between us. I can throw her on the bed and eat her pussy from the inside out, I can fuck every hole in her body, or kiss her until she can’t breathe. She’s mine to do with as I please. I overcompensated for my looks by becoming a master of physical pleasure. I can’t give her a pretty face, but I can make her scream with orgasms until there’s not a breath of air left in her lungs.

  Her hands reach for my shirt. I’m curious. Is she going to undress me? She grips the edges of the fabric above the first button and yanks them apart. Fuck dammit. There’s a tearing sound and buttons flying everywhere. She goes up on her toes to push the shirt over my shoulders, but the sleeves get stuck on my upper arms. Abandoning her efforts with the shirt, she focuses on my belt instead, her fingers fumbling with the buckle.

  My heart is beating like the hooves of that dark horse she unleashed, and I’m frightened that the beast will crush her when he lets his passion rein free, but I’m too weak to stop her. Finally managing to pull the leather from the loops of my waistband, she folds it double and pushes it into my hand. It’s there in her eyes, what she wants me to do. The brown of her irises is mud-stained and murky, like a dam after a landslide.

  Under normal circumstances, I’d tie her up and give her what she wants, spank her while I fuck her, but it hasn’t been a normal week. When I don’t move, she cups my balls and squeezes them through my pants. Her tongue is hot and wet on my stomach, licking a line of molten lava up my chest. Her small teeth latch onto my nipple. I jerk when she bites. Bloody hell. She lets go to bite into the muscle of my pec, then pulls back to study the marks she left on my skin. Her hands snake around my neck, pulling me down to her lips. The nip she gives my bottom lip draws blood. Her nails dig into my scalp. She kisses me like a mad woman, moaning and rubbing her body against mine.

  As suddenly as she grabbed me, she lets go, falling back onto the bed with open thighs.

  Her pussy is ripe for me, wet and swollen. I follow as if she’s got me on a tight leash, but before I can straddle her she rolls over and gets up on her knees, offering her ass and pussy. It is a sight so alluring I almost lose my reason. I don’t move my eyes from the clean-shaved triangle between her legs as I kick off my shoes and almost tear the zipper to get out of my pants. I take no more than a second to pull off my socks. Gripping her hips hard, I drag her to the edge of the bed, placing her where I need her.

  “Take me, Gabriel. Take me hard.” I’m about to do exactly that when she says, “Make it hurt. Make it hurt really bad.”

  My lust jerks to a halt. I get off on hurting her, but her pain ultimately brings us both pleasure. I’m using pain to train to her body to need me, but I won’t allow her to use physical pain to escape her feelings. That’s reserved for monsters like me, and I have no intention of turning her into a monster. I need her sweet and innocent. I need her for who she is.

  She looks at me from over her shoulder. “Gabriel.”

  Her cry is a plea while her eyes are filled with fear––fear that I won’t oblige. There aren’t many things I’ll deny her, but this I won’t give.

  “Gabriel!”

  Her tiny hand folds around my shaft. I’m so hard I scarcely feel the pressure of her fingers as she guides me to her asshole. I know how an ass fuck without proper preparation feels for a woman. I made my lovers describe every sensation to me in detail. The fact that she wants this shows me how badly she’s hurting inside.

  “Fuck me already if you’re a man.”

  I know what she’s trying to do. “Provocation isn’t going to work with me, beautiful.”

  Grabbing her around the waist with one arm, I shift her up the mattress. When I go down on my side, I bring her body with me, pressing her back to my chest.

  “Fuck you, Gabriel!”

  She struggles in all earnest, trying to break free, but I trap her in the constraint of my arms.

  “Let me go!”

  I hold her in place and plant the gentlest of kisses in her neck.

  “No! Don’t you dare.”

  I kiss her ear, her hair, and her temple with a soft brush of my lips. “You’re so beautiful,

  Valentina. Have I ever told you that?”

  Her voice breaks. “Please, don’t.”

  I throw my leg over hers, confining her kicking legs while I push her upper body into the mattress to kiss her spine. Sobs shake her body, but I kiss every vertebra, working my way to the curve of her ass and back up.

  “Not like this,” she cries. “Not gently. Not like you care.”

  I give her all the tenderness I’m capable of, stroking my fingers over her firm ass and between her legs, testing her folds. She’s wet. Always ready for me, just like I trained her. When I direct my cock to her entrance, she starts fighting me again, wiggling her upper body, and kicking with her legs. All I can do is hold her shoulders down with my arms and keep her legs trapped between mine while I enter her slick body, inch by slow inch until she’s taken all of me. She’s so hot and tight she makes me dizzy. With her thighs pressed together the friction is too much. With every stroke, I risk coming like an inexperienced adolescent.

  “I hate you.” Her words are muffled by the pillow, but her body is already rocking with mine. “Why can’t you do it? Why don’t you hurt me?”

  I won’t cut her air, I won’t bury my cock in her ass, and I won’t take my belt to her. It’s my business to understand her needs, and what she needs right now is to be loved.

  “Why didn’t you kill me, Gabriel?”

  I still. “What are you talking about?”

  She turns her face to the side. “Rhett told me.” That fucker.

  “That’s why he shot my dog,” she whispers. “We weren’t supposed to make it out alive.” I start moving again, trying to still her with our pleasure, but she won’t let it go.

  There are tears in her voice. “Why Gabriel? Tell me, damn you.” “Because I wanted you,” I grit out.

  She pushes her ass up against my groin. “Is it this? You needed a fuck?”

  I thrust deeper, making her moan. “You know why.”

  “You spared my life to make me your whore.”

  “Not my whore.” I kiss the soft, golden skin of her shoulder. “My property.” “What’s the difference?” she asks bitterly.

  The difference is that property belongs. I find her lips, kissing her like she’s mine, trying to show her that however much I trained her to need me, I need her in equal quantity. This time, she doesn’t resist the gentleness of my touch. She kisses me back, our rhythm slow and revering. I glide my body over hers, the slickness of my sweat-damp skin making the friction smooth. The movement drives my shaft deeper. I feel her on every inch of me. A deep groan tears from my chest.

  Goddammit, this is heaven. My balls pull u
p into my groin, and sharp needles pierce into the base of my spine. Fuck, not yet. I want to last. I still for a moment to bite back the pleasure. I drag my hands over her hair and down her shoulders, over the soft curves where her breasts are pressed flat against the mattress. She’s soft and resilient and so much woman. I revel in invading her body, making her secrets and feelings mine. I push as deep as I can go, until my cock hits a barrier. A small gasp escapes her lips. I must be pushing against her cervix. Carefully, I ease back and push again. She throws her head back and whimpers, her moans changing from cries of defiance to need. Just a bit deeper and I’d touch the place in her body where miracles happen, where a child can grow from a seed in her womb. The only thing more beautiful than a woman is a pregnant woman. When your seed takes root in her womb and her breasts grow plump with the wonder of new life as her belly expands with your child, you want to love her and fuck her with your child growing between you. Valentina will scare me with the rawness of her beauty as motherhood changes her.

  My body tenses with a building ejaculation so powerful it hurts. As my release explodes an idea erupts in my mind. While I empty myself in her body, I find the answer I’ve been looking for. I know how to irrevocably save her.

  It’s depraved and immoral.

  It’s dubious.

  It’s perfect.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Gabriel

  It takes a day for my doctor to deliver the placebo birth control pills. While he’s there, I make use of the opportunity to explain to him what I need for next week’s house call.

  From next month, Valentina won’t be protected. I’m an asshole, but falling pregnant is her only hope. The one line Magda will never cross is killing the mother of her grandchild. I’m not naïve enough to believe Valentina will ever want a baby with me. She can never know I took the choice from her hands. It’ll be easier to accept if she thinks it was an accident.

  Being pregnant will be tough on her. I have no illusions about the psyches of ‘women in waiting’. Sylvia detested every minute of being pregnant. She hated what the pregnancy did to her body. My mother never lets an opportunity go by to remind me how she suffered to give birth to me. According to Magda, the pain of bringing me into this world was worse than torture. She resented not being as agile or mobile as normal. She got varicose veins and backaches that drove her nuts. The only time that Magda sympathized with Sylvia was when she was pregnant with Carly. Yeah, it won’t be an easy road, especially not for a young woman who hasn’t completed her studies. I don’t even want to think about our age difference. I’m heading down a hell of a bumpy road, dragging a young woman along against her knowledge and will. You don’t get more depraved than that.

  After my morning gym workout, I have a shower, and close myself in my study to go over the financial reports. I’m not ten minutes into my work when my phone rings. My CFO’s name pops up on the screen.

  “Harry, what can I do for you?”

  “I just had a call from UNISA. Miss Haynes dropped out.”

  “What?” I heard him loud and clear, but it makes no sense. “I’m not sure I understand.”

  “Would you like to withdraw the scholarship, or are you willing to consider another student?”

  “I’ll get back to you.” I end the call and get Aletta Cavendish on the line. “I just found out

  Valentina quit her studies.”

  “Oh, dear. I thought she told you.”

  Of course she hasn’t. She doesn’t know I know about her studies. “Did she say why?”

  “Only that her priorities have changed.”

  “Is it too late to have her cancellation reversed?”

  “I can hold onto it for a while, but not long. Her assignments are overdue, and the exams are coming up in less than two weeks. It doesn’t help that she already failed a test.” “I know how badly she wants this degree. Give me a chance to speak to her.”

  “I hope you can sway her.”

  “I will.”

  “I’ll be waiting for your call then.”

  I hang up and lean back in my chair. So, this is what’s been eating Valentina. Rhett told me she even refused the puppy he offered. If she can hang in there for a few weeks longer, everything will change.

  * * *

  For the rest of the day, I chase leads to Valentina’s rape, but doors close in my face as far as I go. It’s a futile effort that leaves me agitated and exhausted. By the time I get home in the late afternoon, I’m worked up into a state that leaves Quincy with a bleeding lip after our wrestling exercise in the gym. A thunderstorm is brewing on the horizon when I have my shower, casting the sky in an ominous, purple light with a touch of gold where the sun penetrates the dark masses. Coming downstairs for dinner, Magda announces we have a surprise guest. Sylvia is seated next to Carly, her blonde hair braided in a French plait and a virginal white dress clinging to her body like a glove. She lost weight.

  “Gabriel.” She acknowledges me with a tight nod and a cold smile.

  I kiss my ex-wife’s cheek. “You look beautiful, as always.”

  She touches her diamond necklace, a gift from me for our first wedding anniversary.

  “Thank you.”

  I take my seat and start pouring the wine. I’m going to need a few glasses. “To what do we owe the visit?”

  “Nothing. I don’t need a reason to visit my daughter, do I?”

  Across the table our gazes lock in a non-verbal battle. Mine is torn away from hers when Valentina enters with the starters. My maid’s demeanor is one of professionalism as she serves us, but I don’t miss the way Sylvia glares at her.

  “I’m going over to Sebastian after dinner,” Carly says, bringing my attention back to her.

  I nod as Valentina hovers beside me with the asparagus. “I don’t remember you asking.” “I already said yes.” Sylvia drapes the napkin over her lap, challenging me to defy her.

  The reason for Sylvia’s visit suddenly becomes clear.

  “I still don’t like that boy.” Magda gives Carly a hard look. “He’s not our type.”

  “Grandma,” Carly groans. “It’s none of your business.”

  I’m too tired to deal with this tonight. “Mind your tongue, young lady. You won’t speak to your grandmother like that.”

  “She started.” Carly pouts and crosses her arms.

  Magda snorts. “What can you gain from a relationship with him? Who are his parents? Nogood average workers with a business in textiles.”

  “She’s not asking to marry him,” Sylvia says. “Anyway, she’s my daughter. You don’t have a say.”

  “Our daughter,” I remind her.

  Magda picks up her fork. “We’re not going to fight over this at the dinner table.”

  “We’re not,” Sylvia says sweetly. “The decision is already made.”

  “It’s not about the boy,” I say. “It’s about going behind my back without asking.”

  “As I said,” Sylvia adds with force, “she asked me.”

  For once, I agree with Magda. This is not a fight that needs to play out here. I’ll have a word with Sylvia after dinner about her conniving ways with Carly.

  “Well,” Sylvia’s shoulders set in a straight line, “that’s handled then.” She pats Carly’s hand with more affection I’ve ever seen her deal our daughter.

  Something is up with Sylvia. She hates poverty as much as Magda, which puts Sebastian under her radar line of suitable boyfriend material.

  The rest of the meal is tense. I’m relieved when the ordeal is over. Sebastian’s mom comes over with her son to fetch Carly and politely declines our offer for a drink. From the porch, I watch Sylvia say goodbye to Carly.

  “Be back by eleven,” I call, giving Sebastian a look that tells him not to fuck with me.

  When the car pulls off, Sylvia comes back up the steps and hands me her jacket to drape over her shoulders. “Good evening, Gab. I’ll let you get back to fucking your maid.”

  I grab her wrist. “It’s
the last time you’ll call me that, and the last time you’ll make a snide comment about my maid.”

  Jerking her arm from my grip, she hisses, “We’ll see how well your future works out for you,” and then she strides to her sports car with a stiff back. She waves through the window before pulling off with screeching tires.

  There was a time she called me Gab. It was a time I trusted her and believed she cared.

  She’s a damned good actress.

  “That’s what you get for marrying that whore,” Magda says behind me.

  I look over my shoulder to see her watching from the doorstep. “You’ll be wise to keep quiet now.”

  She only chuckles as she turns on her heel and disappears into the house.

  In the lounge, I pour a stiff drink and wait an hour. There’s no way I can go to bed before Carly is home. I dial the kitchen.

  Valentina’s voice comes over the intercom. “Yes?”

  “Come to the lounge.”

  She steps into the room five minutes later, regarding me with mistrust where I sit in the armchair.

  “Come sit with me.” I hold my hand out to her.

  Instead of climbing onto my lap as I would’ve liked, she stops at the edge of my seat, and drapes herself on the carpet by my feet. I push her head down on my thigh, stroking her silky hair. Like she accepted my pain, she’s learning to accept my tenderness. I’m enjoying our tranquil moment, but there are two issues of importance I have to bring up. I don’t have the luxury of waiting for her to confide in me, any longer. I’ve given up on hoping for her trust.