Forbidden Kisses

by Laurel O'Donnell

  "I apologize." His trembling lips told he wasn't at all sorry. But she let it pass.

  "Good morning, Mr. McKade. What brings you about so early?"

  Something in his gaze changed and Camille instantly felt a pang of fear. "Something is happening isn't it?"

  His wide shoulders lifted and lowered. "The usual. Outlaws and danger. The life of a lawman."

  "It is not a romantic thing, Mr. McKade. I know it's very dangerous." When his brows lowered in thought, she decided it was time to change the subject. "Would you like some tea? I just brewed a pot."

  "Sure.” He moved away from the door and sat in one of two chairs she kept in the corner along with a small round table. The sitting area seemed too small for him, but she liked the picture of him sitting there waiting for whatever she'd serve.

  She poured two cups of tea and sweetened both without asking his preference. Then she sat on the other chair. "Tell me Mr. McKade, what happened to that poor man who became ill yesterday. I saw from the window, looked like he was in a bad way."

  Lucas took a tentative sip of the tea, then after tasting it, took a larger swallow. "I haven't had tea since my mother made me some. It's good."

  She waited in silence hoping he would answer her question. If the man remained in town, she'd have to pretend to be ill and remain in her upstairs apartment. It was not worth taking a chance the man would come into her shop. As little of a chance it could happen, Camille wasn't about to risk him recognizing her and word getting back to her family of her whereabouts. Although she doubted he'd come after her, there was another person. Someone she'd rather die than face again.

  "He's recovering at the clinic. Was in pretty bad shape. He was shot. Doc says he'll recover and be on his way in a couple days."

  She let out a breath in an attempt to stay calm. "Is he from here?"

  "Not sure where he's from, name is Frederick Williams. Not the good sort, so stay clear."

  The warning wasn't needed. Now she had to figure out how to hide out for a few days. If she stood behind the counter, she had a clear view through the window. She'd keep the door locked. Hopefully, he'd leave town as soon as he recovered.

  Lucas cleared his throat. "I'm going to be away for a few days. Wanted to stop by and make sure you knew."

  Something about the timbre of his voice took her attention. "Where?" God, she didn't want to care. Least of all, it was not a good idea to let him know what he did affected her. "I'm sorry. It’s none of my business."

  He gave her an easy grin. "Work, checking on some troublemakers. It's nice that you ask." His blue eyes met hers and Camille found it impossible to look away. Finally, she let out a breath and focused on her teacup, taking a sip of the sweet drink into her suddenly dry throat.

  "You interest me, Camille. I want you to know that."

  The declaration took her by surprise. Of all the things, this was not what she expected to hear from him. If only she could lose herself in romantic stirrings.

  A man like Lucas McKade could never be hers, no matter how much she wanted it. If anything, he was a danger. Not only that, by being interested in her, it would be perilous for him.

  "I don't know what to say." Camille was honest. In that moment, the last thing she could do was formulate a correct reply. How nice would it be to pretend to be someone else and allow a relationship with him?

  "No need to say anything.” He stood and looked down at her, his eyes soft. "Can I please escort you to dinner this evening? I leave tomorrow."

  Camille nodded, already planning to feign illness. "That would be lovely."

  As the day continued, Camille became more nervous. She considered what to say to Lucas when he came to collect her. How to pretend to have a headache.

  She couldn't stop thinking that whatever it was that took him away was dangerous. If he never returned, would she regret spending this evening with him?

  Of course she would. He was everything she'd ever imagined in a man. Someone she could envision spending her life with. An impossible dream.

  She climbed the stairs to her apartment quarters and straightened up, opening the window to allow air in. Once everything was done, she attempted to read a book, but it was no use. Her mind kept wandering back to Lucas and his imminent visit.

  Her stomach growled, reminding her she'd barely eaten. Cooking meant going back downstairs as the kitchen was located behind her shop. Just as she reached the bottom step, there was a rap at the door.

  He was early. Or maybe on time, Camille had no idea what time it was. His large outline in the window made her breath hitch. The time to make a choice had arrived in the form of a handsome deputy.

  "Good evening, Mr. McKade," Camille said stepping back to allow him in. "How are you?"

  His brows drew together. "Call me Lucas. I'd like to think we are becoming friends now."

  Heat climbed from her neck to her cheeks. "Yes, of course, you're right...Lucas."

  His smile reached his eyes and she could only gape. She'd never been so close to a man so attractive. She cleared her throat. "I'm afraid I cannot go to supper with you today. I am not feeling...well."

  "Is that so?” He cocked his head to the side. "I think something else is bothering you and you’re not saying."

  She looked away to the stairwell. If she'd been upstairs, it would have been easier to just call out the window to tell him she was unwell. But now faced with him, there was little she could do.

  Her heart thudded against her breast as she reached with her hand and placed it on his chest.

  He drew a sharp breath.

  The warmth of his body seeped through the course fabric of his shirt to her palm. "Why does life have to be so complicated? It should be easy. The choices we make should be clear. Things of the past should remain there."

  As she spoke, she moved closer to him. "What do you think, Lucas? Please tell me everything will be fine. That a few days from now you will be here, asking me to supper again."

  His gaze shifted this time, but not before she saw it. Doubt. He couldn't tell her he'd be there. He could not guarantee anything because he was going to face danger and very possibly die. "You will be all right, Camille.” His lips curved. "I don't know why things are complicated. The way of life, I suppose."

  His hand covered hers dwarfing it. "I understand if you are hesitant to getting to know me. I don't blame you."

  "It’s not that. There are things. So many reasons why I can't. None of them have anything to do with you."

  When he placed his other hand under her chin and tilted her face up, she let out a sigh. More than anything, she wanted him to kiss her, needed to be lost in him, not think about repercussions or the what ifs. In that moment, she made the decision. Lucas McKade would be hers. If only for one night, he would be hers only.

  His mouth took hers, this time it was neither tentative nor soft, but with raw hunger. Camille clung to his wide shoulders allowing him to devour, take as much from her as he wanted while at the same time, she did the same.

  Lucas turned his face sideways and continued to kiss her, his tongue probed and she parted her lips to allow him access. He tasted wonderful, of promise and danger, of need and sensuality. He pulled her against his chest wrapping his strong arms around her, folding Camille into a blanket of security.

  Unable to keep from it, needing to touch as much of him as she could, Camille slid her arms around his neck lifting to her toes to better fit against him.

  Lucas trailed kissed from her mouth to her ear. "I will do my darndest to return to you, Camille. I want to know more about you, more of who you are."

  Of course, she'd never be able to allow it. But for this night, she was not the Camille that woke up that morning. She was a woman who Lucas McKade made feel things she'd never felt before.

  "I want to be with you tonight, Lucas. I want to feel your bare skin against mine."

  His rounded eyes met hers. For an awkward moment, she thought he'd say no. She waited for a look of judgment. Instea
d, he took her mouth. Again, his hand slid down her back until it reached her bottom. He pulled her against him until she had no doubt how much he wanted her. His hardness against her made her let out a long breath. "I want you, too, Camille. My need for you is like none before."

  Both remained without moving for a few moments. Just as she was about to tell him it was fine for them to forget her last statement, he swept her up into his arms and carried her up the stairs.

  There never was a guarantee for a future. In that moment, more than ever, Camille was aware of it. She'd not waste the opportunity to be loved by Lucas McKade. More than anything, she needed to remember him; the beauty of two people coming together as one.

  In a fog between kisses and caresses, they undressed each other, always touching, kissing and gazing.

  Leisurely, they looked down the other's body, which was as intoxicating as actually touching.

  Want and need sizzled in the air, transforming her small bedroom into a harbor of sensations and waves of excitement.

  Lucas pulled Camille against him, his hands sliding down her sides, then up her back. She reveled in the newness of how skin against skin felt. Although she'd been with a man before, it had never been like this.

  Every place Lucas touched tingled. His fingers left trails of heat while she became lost in his kisses. As much as she needed him to lay with her, there was something so wonderful about the time of expectation.

  Finally, he lifted her and carried her to the bed. They lay side by side facing each other. He placed his hand on her breast and leaned forward to take her into his mouth.

  "Oh!" Camille was lost as he continued to taste, nip and lick different places on her body until, moments later, she cried out as a wave of passion swept her away.

  Lucas rose over her sliding his hands up her sides as he settled between her legs. He was magnificent. His broad shoulders and his chest muscles took her attention with every movement. Darkened eyes met hers and she became lost in them.

  They were no longer a light shade of blue, but a dark, midnight color. His sensual lips curved just as he lowered to take her mouth again.

  Neither too fast nor too slow, but at the perfect tempo, he caressed while moving his hips, the sensation of his hardness rubbing her just at the right spot until she could barely breathe. There was still so much more to explore, yet the intimacy between them was so deep that she wondered if she could withstand any more.

  "You are so beautiful," he whispered into her ear. "I want you so much."

  "And I, you." Her voice sounded throaty in her ears, sensual. He responded by taking her mouth with so much force she gasped. His tongue delved into her mouth, sliding over her own and she suckled at it. At the same time, he cupped her face with both hands as if afraid she'd stop.

  Her center throbbed with need and Camille lifted her hips from the bed to collide harder against his sex.

  Lucas grunted, the sound almost animalistic, raw and so very appealing. He was all she could smell, taste and hear. His presence took her away from reality. As he moved, lifting just enough to reach between them, she held her breath in anticipation.

  When he slid a finger between her folds, Camille arched into his hand. Her yearning climbed higher with each stroke of his hand until she dug her nails into his back. "I need you now. I can't wait any longer."

  Instead of replying, his tongue licked a trail down her throat. It was hot and wet, each stroke of his tongue taking her closer to cresting.

  She clung to him as he moved down her body, his tongue still forging a trail until reaching her breast. He took the tip into his mouth with greedy abandon and she cried out when, at the same time, he slipped a finger into her body.

  Unable to hold back, she let go and called out his name as she climaxed. Through it, he continued to touch and caress her, his mouth moving from one breast to the other, his fingers playing a devilish game between her legs until she began to shake.

  "I can't wait." His mouth was suddenly at her ear. Lucas took himself in hand and guided himself to enter her. He was thick and hard, so very hard. Camille took a breath and relaxed when he pushed her legs further apart and penetrated.

  She let out a cry when he pushed in, filling her completely. For a few seconds, neither of them moved. He was sensitive enough to allow her time to become accustomed to his girth. Finally, he slid out just a bit and then back in until setting a delicious rhythm.

  Camille took his bottom with both hands and pulled him deeper each time he moved in. They rocked together, the sounds of their lovemaking joining their exclamations until both cried out as they fell off the cliff and floated down ever so slowly.

  It could not be helped; Camille continued to shake, not wanting him to stop moving, as she could not bear to let go of the wonderful bliss she was cushioned in. Tears fell down her cheeks as he continued to thrust into her, seeming to understand her need.

  He guided her as he rolled over until she straddled him. "Take me," he told her, holding her hips in place. "Take all you need."

  Camille lifted and lowered onto him. She placed both palms on his chest and took all of him deep. Continued lifting and lowering harder and faster, needing more and more, it was never enough. A crest formed and it scared her.

  It had never been like this, so all consuming. Alarm slammed into her, but she was powerless to stop. In the fog that surrounded her, she heard a deep guttural moan as Lucas spilled into her and still she could not stop. He slid his thumb pad over her throbbing center several times until Camille screamed in release.

  Stars exploded behind her eyes as she collapsed in a heap of flesh and bones on top of him. Darkness mixed with light, the only sounds were those of her heart thudding against her ears.

  Kisses at her temples and the sliding of her lover's hands up and down her back soothed her back to reality. Camille cried then, too overwhelmed to stop.

  "Come here." Lucas pulled her against him and Camille placed her head on his shoulder, draping an arm across his middle. They were both wet with perspiration but unable to keep from touching. They'd made love again and she was still in a daze from how many times he'd taken her to peak. Every time, she swore it was better only to find she could once again climb higher.

  She sighed. "What time are you leaving?"

  "Not sure. Once everyone gathers at the jailhouse. I need to get going. I’ll leave out the back to keep from being seen.” His deep voice vibrated in her ear. When he placed a kiss on the top of her head, she realized it could be the last time she saw him.

  Camille lifted up and peered down at him. "I am not sure what to say about all this. I need to explain to you..."

  "No." He placed a finger on her lips. "Don't feel the need to explain anything. I hope that when I return, we can continue to get to know each other. This will be a wonderful memory. But mark my word, Camille Johnston. The next time we make love, it will be as husband and wife."

  Struck speechless, Camille fell back onto his chest. "I don't expect you to..."

  "Hush now. It's not out of obligation that I will ask you to marry me. It is because I want to marry you."

  "Oh."

  "Now kiss me, woman. I have to get dressed and get going."

  Their kiss lingered until she clung breathless to him and his breathing matched. Finally, he slid from the bed and dressed quickly as she watched, enthralled by the bunching and loosening of his muscles and the last glimpses of his bare body.

  Lucas came to the bed and smiled down at her. "Behave yourself while I'm gone.” He placed a soft kiss on her lips and tears sprung to her eyes.

  Camille nodded, attempting a weak smile. "We'll talk when you get back. So you better come back soon."

  "Yes ma'am." He took his hat from atop a chair and quietly slipped from the room.

  In the darkness, she stared up at the ceiling. Instead of pondering how she'd tell Lucas they could never be, she closed her eyes and inhaled. The smell of their lovemaking remained and she rolled to her side needing to revel in i
t.

  Chapter Seven

  The ride out of town with additional men took the attention of many and Lucas wasn't sure it was a good idea to stir uneasiness in the people.

  "What's going on, Sheriff?" the butcher called out. "We got trouble?"

  Brogan waved in return. "Riding out to ensure there isn't. Nothing to worry about."

  Several women gathered in front of the seamstress shop and looked on as they rode past. One of the women motioned to Lucas. "Is something wrong?"

  "No ma'am, going to patrol the area to make sure all is well." Lucas touched the brim of his hat.

  When they rode past Camille's shop, he turned to see her looking out through the windows. She wore a pale blue dress that complemented her olive skin. With her hair upswept and the high-buttoned dress, she looked nothing like the beauty he'd held in his arms the night before.

  Their gazes met and he understood her message immediately. I'm scared for you, please hurry back.

  He returned a lazy grin, lifting and lowering his brows in a flirty way. She shook her head, a light smile on her lips.

  There was no doubt; he'd do everything in his power to return to her. They didn't expect to encounter any trouble that day. Other than patrolling and ensuring the outlaws were not hiding out, it wouldn't be longer than a day or two before they returned. A day or two too long.

  Already, he wanted her. He could not stop thinking about her. She would be his wife. Hell, they might even beat Brogan and Sarah to the preacher. If he could've, Camille would be his wife that day.

  ****

  Camille trudged up the stairs. Her suitcases were packed and most of it loaded onto the wagon behind her shop. She'd been up at the crack of dawn, packaging as many herbs and oils as she could carry to ensure a good start wherever she ended up. Tears slid down her cheeks and she brushed them away.

  There was no choice. She'd felt it. Lucas would not be put off; he meant it when insisting they marry.

  While talking that night before, he'd admitted to it being the first time he'd allowed himself release inside a woman. He feared fathering a child that would not be his to raise. And now she would do exactly what he feared, leave him.