by Amy Ruttan
Sandra chuckled. “Right. Now I remember. Oh, my God, I’ve been so annoyed at you lately, then, for no reason.”
Kody’s blue eyes sparkled and he laughed. “Sorry, but, see, I’m not as much of a jerk as you obviously thought I was.”
“I guess not.”
“How about we go tell Lucy now?”
Her heart skipped a beat. “Now? Are you certain?”
“Yeah, her school gets out soon. We can go and pick her up, get some soft serve and break the news to her.” He glanced down at her belly. “She might pick up on the visual clues anyway. She is almost eight years old.”
“Good point. Should I just follow you in my SUV to your place?”
Kody nodded. “Sounds good.”
They walked out to the parking lot together and each went in their separate vehicles. Sandra followed Kody to his house and her heart was beating fast and her mind was going a mile a minute. She was worried that Lucy wouldn’t react the way she hoped that she would.
She was worried that something was going to go wrong and even though Dr. Ohe said that her pregnancy was progressing normally, Sandra still couldn’t shake her fear. She still couldn’t shake the feeling that she was about to lose everything.
It was one thing her losing everything, but she didn’t want to hurt Lucy, who had lost so much already.
It was a quick drive to Kody’s white stucco house from Rolling Creek. She left her briefcase with the letter in her car. Right now, she couldn’t even focus on her genetics, she was so nervous about Lucy’s reaction.
“You look like you’re going to be sick. Are you okay?” Kody asked.
“I’m just... I’m really nervous about telling your daughter.”
“It’ll go well. Trust me.”
She nodded, but it was hard to trust him. It was hard for her to even trust in herself. All that confidence she’d been feeling after her meeting with the board of directors was melting away. She wished she had a bit of that confidence right now.
“Come on, it’ll be fine.” Kody took her hand and they walked side by side toward Lucy’s school. Her hand in his felt so right and it was nice to be able to enjoy an early-summer day with him.
They stood outside the gates of the school. There were other parents waiting. Groups of them in clusters, all talking.
There were parents waiting in cars and a crossing guard waiting for her charges. It was like something out of a movie.
This was what she’d always wanted. Of course, in San Diego it had been slightly different, and Alex had insisted that if they did have a baby they were going to hire a nanny.
“You’re a surgeon and I’m a surgeon, Sandra. See sense—we have to keep working. I’m certainly not going to be a stay-at-home dad. We’ll hire someone to take care of the child while we work. It’s the only solution.”
She had heard through the grapevine, before she’d left, that there was a top-of-the-line nanny lined up to take care of his child.
She wondered how that was going.
“Hey, do you think we should get a nanny?” she asked out of the blue.
Kody frowned. “A nanny? Why?”
“Well, we both work.”
“Fair point, but we both get maternity and paternity leave. I say we think about a nanny when we have to go back to work.”
“By then all the good ones will be gone.”
Kody looked sideways. “Is this some kind of strange thing I don’t know?”
“I guess because you had your sister and your in-laws helping you, you never really had to think about it.”
“Jenny stayed home, but she wanted to stay home. She was doing online learning, so I guess, no, I never really had to think about it. Do you want to get a nanny?”
“If I go back to being a surgeon, yeah, I’m going to need one, especially as you might end up working the same shift as me and you said your sister, Sally, plans to go to medical school.”
“Yeah. I guess that’s something we’ll have to look into.” He sounded stressed and he was frowning.
“I’m sorry if I stressed you out. I didn’t mean to. It just popped in my head.”
“You are so weird sometimes. I’ve been meaning to tell you that.” He winked at her.
“Look who’s talking, sir, or should I refer to you as the purple streak?”
His lips pursed together, and she couldn’t help but laugh.
“Remind me again to kill Megan when I see her,” he muttered.
“I still want to see that blurry newspaper clipping.”
“No. You don’t.”
The bell rang and all their talk about his streaking days ended as kids came pouring out of school, running toward their caregivers and the bus. Even though this was Sandra’s first time to this school, it was easy to pick Lucy out of the mix. Her strawberry blond braid and brightly colored clothes were easy to pick out in the crowd.
“Dad!” Lucy jumped up and threw her arms around his waist. Kody still couldn’t quite pick her up yet.
“I brought someone,” Kody said. “She wanted to get some ice cream.”
Lucy smiled up at her. “Dr. Sandra!”
“Hi, Lucy. Do you mind if I join you?”
Then Lucy’s gaze fell on her belly. “Are you pregnant, Dr. Sandra?”
Sandra’s pulse was thundering between her ears. “I am and that’s something else we want to talk to you about.”
Lucy nodded. “Okay, but can we get ice cream first?”
“Of course. We can walk to the Twisted Shack for just that and maybe after dinner we can go to the park.”
Lucy gasped. “Can we go to the diner again? Last time Dr. Sandra was here we went to the diner!”
“Only because I burned dinner. I didn’t this time, sucker!” he teased her gently and Lucy shook her head.
“I hope Aunt Sally cooked it,” she muttered, and Sandra tried so hard to stifle her laughter.
“I can see where she gets her wit from.”
“Oh, it’s not all just me. Her mother had a good percentage of sarcasm in there,” Kody said.
Even though Lucy was disappointed that they weren’t going to the diner, she cheered right up the closer they got to the Twisted Shack, which served the soft ice cream that Sandra had been craving lately.
After they got their ice cream, they all sat down at the picnic tables outside the shack and enjoyed their treat. Sandra’s stomach started fluttering like crazy, but she brushed it off as being hungry and ignored the fact that she was nervous.
“So, Lucy, you know how Dr. Sandra is having a baby, right?”
Lucy nodded. “Yeah.”
“Well, the baby is also Daddy’s. You’re going to be a big sister,” Kody said.
Lucy’s eyes flew open and she had the biggest smile. “For real?”
“Yes,” Sandra said. “I hope that’s okay?”
“Yes!” Lucy said and she gave her a sideways hug. “I’ve always wanted to be a big sister. Is the baby a boy or a girl?”
“I don’t know yet, love bug,” Kody said. “But it’s important to know that nothing changes between you and me.”
“I know that, Dad, but this means our family is growing by two feet.” She wrinkled up her face. “Well, I guess technically four feet.”
Sandra was amused. “Four! I’m not having twins.”
“I meant your feet, Dr. Sandra. You’re a part of our family now too.”
That simple statement filled Sandra’s eyes with tears. She had never felt so accepted before, not since her adoptive parents, and they’d died when she was still in medical school. Her father didn’t even get to walk her down the aisle. It was all so overwhelming, and it made her stomach go a bit wonky again.
“Are you okay, Dr. Sandra?” Lucy asked, concerned. “Are you sick?”
“Hmm,
I might be, but I’m just so pleased that you’re happy, Lucy.” She shared a smile with Kody. They finished up their ice cream and then headed back to Kody’s place. He held her hand again and it felt so right. They felt like a family.
Only you’re not.
And she had to keep reminding herself of that fact. No matter how much she wanted it.
They got back to his place and Lucy went skipping off to her room, while Kody made dinner. They had a lovely dinner together and then spent the rest of the evening talking about the new baby. Lucy had a ton of questions for her and Sandra was more than happy to answer as many as she could.
Finally, it was bedtime for Lucy, and Sandra lingered while Kody put her to bed. When he came back, he went into the kitchen to clean up. Sandra followed him.
“You wouldn’t have any of that ginger tea, would you?”
“Are you sick?” Kody asked, concerned. “You have been sort of off all night.”
“I don’t feel sick, but my stomach, it’s been fluttering like I’m anxious. I mean, I was anxious, but now that Lucy is okay with it, I thought that it might go away, but my belly is racing.”
Kody grinned. “I don’t think it’s nerves at all. Would you describe it like a butterfly?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“Sweetheart, that’s the baby moving.” Kody placed a hand on her stomach. “You’re nineteen weeks—the baby is moving. This is called the quickening.”
Sandra gasped and touched her belly. And when she did that, she felt the little zoom across her belly again and she started to cry.
“I’ve been so busy. I hadn’t noticed. I thought it was nerves.” A tear slid down her cheek. “The baby is moving!” Her baby was alive. Her baby was moving.
It was real.
It wasn’t just some lovely dream.
Kody knelt beside her and held his hand on her belly too and then leaned in and whispered against her belly, something she couldn’t quite make out because she was trying not to ugly cry.
“What did you say?” she asked.
“I told him or her that I love them. No matter what and I can’t wait to see them.”
“That’s so nice,” she sniffled.
“This is amazing, Sandra.” Then he leaned up and he kissed her. Just as he had that night in the cabin. The night when she’d lost all her sense and taken a chance on something she’d thought would only be a memory right now.
And in this moment, knowing that her baby was thriving, she was glad that she had taken that chance, that moment with Kody.
The kiss deepened into something more, but she didn’t care. She’d missed him. She’d thought about that night more often than she cared to admit and she would give anything to have it again.
To savor it.
His hands were in her hair and he tried to pull away, but she wanted him close. She didn’t want this to end. She just wanted to feel connected to him, even if it was for the last time.
“No, I want this.”
“Remember what happened the last time?” he teased huskily.
“I can’t get pregnant again.” She kissed him again, letting him know without words how much she wanted him. “Please, for tonight.”
“I can’t say no to you, no matter how much I know I should be strong.” He scooped her up in his arms and carried her to his room.
Sandra was scared, but she wanted him. She just wanted to forget her worries, forget the sadness that was inside her. The loneliness that she felt. She wanted to be loved by him, one more time. They undressed quickly and then she lay on the bed, guiding him down to join her.
He sat down on the bed and lay down beside her, her back against his chest so that he didn’t put pressure on her belly. He ran his hand across her skin, and she shivered in delight, her body wakening to his touch, as she always did when he touched her like that.
Kody tilted her chin so that she looked at him. Those brilliant blue eyes gazing deeply into hers, mesmerizing her. She’d forgotten how lost she got in his eyes.
He kissed her gently.
“Kody, I want this,” she murmured.
“I know. So do I. I will be gentle, don’t worry, but if anything feels uncomfortable stop me. Please.”
She nodded, but she was still worried about the baby. She closed her eyes and reveled in the sensations he was stirring up inside her. Not that it took much—lately their one time together was all she could think about. She wanted him and she knew that sex during pregnancy was perfectly fine.
And she knew that Kody would be gentle with her. She wasn’t worried about him.
She let out a sigh as his hands roved over her body. It sent delicious, electric sparks throughout her. She forgot everything else and just focused on the sensations and pleasure.
Right now, she just wanted to feel.
To taste passion one more time.
To have Kody possess her completely.
His mouth opened against hers as she kissed him, his kiss deepening, becoming more urgent. Never in her life had she wanted someone as badly as she wanted Kody. And she doubted there would ever be another like him. She doubted she’d ever feel this way about another man.
The kiss ended, leaving her breathless and her body hot, burning with need.
“I’ve missed you, Sandra,” he whispered.
He wanted her as much as she wanted him.
“You’re so beautiful.” He kissed her neck and her back.
Her body thrummed with desire. His hand moved between her legs and she cried out, so sensitive to his touch. He helped her lift a leg over his legs so that he could enter her from behind and not put any pressure on her belly. As he entered her slowly it made her cry out in pleasure.
Their first time had been furious and frenzied; this time was slow and so delicious.
Her whole body tingled, and his hand cupped her breast as he began to move slowly.
Heady pleasure coursed through her. Hot, like fire.
Kody quickened his pace and she climaxed around him. He soon followed.
His hand relaxed and her body felt like melted goo. Her thighs quivered as the last of her orgasm moved through her system and she slowly lowered her leg, unable to hold it up any longer.
Kody rolled on his back and she curled up beside him, just listening to him breathe, while he drew lazy circles on her back with his fingers.
She didn’t want to leave his bed even though she should.
“Do you want to stay the night?” he asked. “It’s late and I would worry about you driving home.”
“Sure. If you don’t mind. I’m really tired.”
He kissed her. “I don’t mind. Just, don’t get up in the morning until after I take Lucy to school. I don’t want to confuse her. I’ve never had a woman stay here before.”
“Of course.” Sandra understood that.
She wanted to ask him what this meant, but she didn’t dare, because she was so afraid that he’d reject her. That he wouldn’t want her, because even though she tried to keep him out, she couldn’t. Try as she might, she couldn’t keep him at bay and she knew one thing was for certain after tonight, as she lay here listening to his heart beating and having him hold her so close—she was falling in love with him. Though she tried to fight it, she couldn’t.
She’d never thought she would feel love again. Alex had broken her heart so completely and destroyed her trust and she was scared that Kody was dragging out these feelings that he was making her feel again.
She’d thought she’d done a good job hiding away her feelings. She’d thought she was better at compartmentalizing her life and her emotions, but just one night with Kody and she knew that she wasn’t as good at that as she’d thought she was.
“You’ve gone quiet,” he said gently.
“I’m a bit cold.”
And that wasn’t a lie
. She was cold, and she didn’t have any pajamas here. Although she didn’t think she would need them anymore.
“You don’t feel cold.” He rolled over and dragged her into another kiss, which set her body on fire again.
She could get used to this.
Don’t.
“Maybe you can keep me warm.”
He smiled at her. “I can do that.”
And he pulled her close, his hands on her body again, making her body sing when she’d thought it was spent. She realized then she would never get enough of Kody and that, when it came to him, she was a lost woman.
She was weak and not as strong as she’d thought she was.
Kody was her Achilles’ heel and she was falling so madly in love with him, she realized there was no use fighting her feelings. She loved Kody and, though it scared her that he didn’t and couldn’t love her back, she couldn’t help herself.
She only hoped that she wasn’t right, because she was lost.
She was his and that scared her, but, for now, she was going to revel in her stolen moment of passion, even if it was for the last time.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
KODY WOKE UP to the feeling of something nudging him and he realized that he was spooning Sandra, his hand resting on her belly.
He smiled at the little movement from his baby. He wanted to do right by this little one and he would. He also wanted to do right by Sandra. He just wasn’t sure how.
He felt the little nudge again. The baby reminded him of his weakness. And his weakness was Sandra. When they’d shared that night in the cabin, he’d sworn that nothing else would happen between them, he couldn’t let it happen, but here he was. She was in his bed, pressed against him after another night of lovemaking, and he was so glad that she was here.
He didn’t want to hurt her, because he loved her.
He was just terrified to reach out and take it. He felt as if he didn’t deserve a second chance at happiness, and he wasn’t sure that she wanted it.
Aren’t you?
She stirred in her sleep, but he covered her back up and slipped out of bed without disturbing her. He got up and got ready for the morning. Lucy would be up soon, and he had to make sure that she got off to school.
