Kit: Carson Brothers #1
Page 30
In total disbelief, I stared as the screen played the part before the movie, showing the name of the movie and the names of the directors, etc…
“You’re shitting me?” I said, staring at Kit.
“You said you wanted to see it…” He smiled casually.
“How is this possible? It’s not even in cinema anymore."
We were here to watch the new Fifty Shades of Grey movie…
Whilst the movie played, I was actually relieved that Kit had hired us the full cinema room because some of the scenes were seriously hot and I wasn’t sure I’d have coped being surrounded by a load of other people watching the same thing. Instead, I only had Kit’s company and he actually seemed to be watching the film and enjoying it. Halfway through we had to miss five minutes of the movie so I could answer some of his questions about ‘this Ana girl’. He was genuinely interested in the first two movies leading up to this one.
I knew he’d never actually admit to enjoying the move though, something about Fifty Shades of Grey threatened most men, so I’d come to realise. Men didn’t realise that it was a small thing for a woman to fantasise about compared to the scale of porn a man probably watched....
By the time the movie ended, I was successfully bloated from eating so much popcorn, I couldn’t use the excuse of being pregnant for my waddling because I wasn’t even close to showing yet. I had my first scan coming up and as hard as I tried to not worry about it, I was terrified. During tea with Kit’s family, I picked at my food but wanted to eat it because Jax had put so much effort into making me something special. I tried to listen the best I could to Kit’s brothers as they chatted and made jokes, careful to smile when it was appropriate. Really, I just wanted to head off alone and soak in a bath so I could try and ease my mind a little. As I scraped at my plate, I felt Kit’s eyes on me and I looked at him as he picked up his glass and carried on eyeing me as he took a drink. I wanted to ask him what was wrong but I didn’t, instead, I looked away and attempted another mouthful. At least the sickness had subsided somewhat and it had been replaced with an eager appetite, although, right now my appetite had been demolished in the place of worry.
After tea, I insisted on helping in tidying up and I followed Jax into the kitchen where he started loading the plates beside the sink.
“You’re nervous, aren’t you?” he asked.
It was just the two of us and his question caught me off guard.
“A little,” I said as I began filling the sink with washing-up liquid and water. I’d left Kit with his brothers in the living room, on the other side of the house. I still couldn’t get used to how Kit’s family home was indeed two houses that had been knocked through to create an even bigger house.
“It’s normal, I suppose. Everything will be fine,” Jax answered.
“You must deal with pregnant women all the time, right? Being a doctor."
Jax smiled and leant back against the counter as if he was enjoying his own private joke.
“No, it’s not really the field I work in,” he said before clearing another plate in the second sink beside the one I was currently washing pots in.
I nodded and carried on washing.
“Why haven’t you told Kit you’re worried?”
“He’s probably more worried about being a dad than I am about the full thing, I don’t wanna add any more worry onto him. He - ”
At that moment we both heard someone clearing their throat and we both looked around at Kit stood in the doorway.
He was leaning against the door frame with his beer in one hand and looking the coolest and sexiest thing I’d ever seen, but I didn’t get long to admire him because he looked troubled, like he’d just caught me and Jax doing something without him…
“Hey,” I said casually, I didn’t want Kit thinking that we were talking behind his back but it looked as if he thought that way already.
Jax took the chance then to leave the kitchen and as I glanced around, I watched as Kit bobbed his head at him as he passed.
As I scrubbed the last plate in my hand, I gave it a rinse before placing it on the draining rack. I didn’t know quite how to approach Kit because I wasn’t sure how much he’d heard from me and Jax already. I felt his arms scooping around my body and his face came to the side of mine as he turned me around.
“My hands are still wet,” I said quietly but he clearly didn’t care.
“You’ll talk to my brother about how you’re feeling but not me?” he asked.
Rolling my eyes, I pulled away from him and found the tea towel so I could dry my hands.
“It wasn’t like that Kit. It just came out like word vomit and your brother was the one there to listen."
“You think I can’t handle it, don’t you?”
Kit stood firm and as I placed the towel back down, I stared at him as he waited for me to reply.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” I answered.
I was honestly exhausted from worry and not feeling well that all I wanted to do was take a bath and go to bed.
It was nearing eight o’clock. We’d all had a late tea together once we were all back home at Kit’s house but it felt like midnight to my eyes and I seriously needed some rest.
“I don’t wanna make you more stressed out,” he said then, seeming defeated and I felt bad for making him feel bad.
“I’m just tired,” I answered him honestly. “Yes, I’m worried. I’m shattered and I just need some me time so I can collect my thoughts and prepare myself for Monday."
He nodded, although he still didn’t look content.
“Do you want me to run you a bath?” he asked, although I wasn’t expecting him to ask.
Shaking my head, I moved around the counter. “It’s okay, I can go home and get one."
“I know you can, but I’d rather have you here,” he answered quickly as he moved over to me.
“That’s if… you wanna be here. I can take you home if you want."
I hated seeing Kit so defeated and I hated that I’d made him doubt himself at all.
“Of course, I wanna be here,” I said, searching for his eyes. I wanted him to look at me so I could smile at him and hopefully boost his mood.
“I always wanna be with you,” I added and it made him smile lightly.
Kit had a vulnerable side that I’m not sure anyone else ever saw, it didn’t make him weak but it showed how much he truly did care and it made my heart gush over him. A big strong man like him having a heart and showing how much he cared, made me love him all the more. It was sexy.
* * *
I sat on the edge of the huge bath that was located in the main bathroom of the house.
It seriously was worth a Jacuzzi title but it wasn’t quite that big. It did have the water blowers though and I looked forward to having them against my back to relax me.
I was even more shocked that Kit had managed to source some bath bubbles in a house full of men.
“They’re Jason’s…. he’s a pampered pooch under all that masculine shit,” Kit said casually and I laughed as he poured some into the tub.
Once the water filled halfway, I got up to get ready when Kit came close and kissed my neck.
“You need me to supervise?” he asked and I couldn’t help but smirk at him.
“I think I’m good."
Nodding, he placed a kiss to my lips and moved across the room to hand me a towel from the shelf.
“Call me if you need me,” he said before shutting the door.
I had to lock it because this was the main bathroom and I didn’t want one of Kit’s brothers walking in.
I made sure to enjoy every last bit of my bathtub experience and as I laid back and felt the bubbles pushing against my back, I hummed in pleasure.
I could have easily stayed put in that tub all night and I did for about an hour. In fact, even Kit came and knocked on the door to make sure I was okay.
I managed to relax completely as well as doing a little thinking.
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My scan appointment was in two days and I’d been getting increasingly nervous as the date neared.
Placing my hands on my stomach, I thought about the little alien looking creature I’d seen earlier whilst googling ‘twelve weeks pregnant’.
Despite looking like a little alien, my baby already had a set of hands and feet as well as a small formed body. I think that’s what scared me the most, that I’d possibly be told my baby wasn’t healthy or that my pregnancy hadn’t gone well at all.
I was terrified of losing anyone I cared so much about that without even meaning to I was mentally preparing myself for them to hand out the bad news.
It made me hate myself because I just couldn’t allow myself to be positive, I had already lined myself up for bad news and nothing could shift it.
I eventually managed to lift my butt out of the tub and as I dried myself, I inhaled the beautiful smelling towel that Kit had given me.
For a bunch of guys these men really did know how to keep things nice in a household.
Then again, they did have a housekeeper…
Turning around in search of my clothes, I realised I didn’t have any at all and I inwardly cursed.
I’d frikkin’ forgotten them.
No way did I want to make a run for it to Kit’s room in only my towel but I didn’t really have a choice, I didn’t even have my phone to text Kit and ask him to bring me some.
Thankfully, the towel was a good size and I stared at myself in the mirror before settling on the fact that I’d have to peek my head out of the door and make sure the coast was clear before legging it to Kit’s room.
I did that, and when I saw the landing was clear, I opened the door fully and turned the light off before making a dash to Kit’s room.
The long corridor felt like a marathon.
“You okay?” Kit asked as I regulated my breathing.
“I just had to leg it across the landing, I didn’t have any clothes,” I answered him, walking around the bed to where I’d left my bag on the corner chair.
“Did any of them see you?” Kit asked and as I searched for my clothes, I turned my head around to shake my head at him when I saw him directly behind me. It made me jump because I had no idea he’d even moved from the bed.
“You scared me,” I said as I felt his hands gently moving to my sides.
Lowering his head to my neck, he breathed me in before kissing me there. It made my eyes close with the comfort of not only feeling relaxed still from the bath but feeling Kit’s warm breath against my skin.
During my bath, I’d thought a lot about Kit and how I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him how worried I was about my scan on Monday.
Today was Saturday, which meant I had one more day and it tormented me greatly.
The guilt I’d felt about not including Kit when I’d spoken to Jax earlier was eating away at me. Although I knew Kit was hoping for some intimacy, I had to apologise to him because it was driving me mad.
“I’m sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean to make you feel, y’know…” I did my best at a half arse apology because I didn’t really know what to say.
He nodded. “I know you’re scared about the scan, it’s normal to be. What bothered me was that you went to Jax about it instead of me."
I shook my head. “It wasn’t like that, he just asked me about it and it just came out without me realising. It has been bothering me all day."
Again, he nodded. “I know. I knew there was something wrong and I planned to have it out with you but after hearing you both talking…”
“I’m sorry,” I said again. “I don’t wanna add any more stress onto you. I know being a dad is already enough of a shock without having to deal with my dramatics too."
Kit actually looked pissed off as he gently shook his head in disbelief.
“I’m your boyfriend, Eve. I’m in this with you but what’s the point if you won’t speak to me?”
“I’m not great at the opening up thing. I used to talk to my parents a lot until…”
His face settled as he nodded, “I get it, but please, talk to me okay? Don’t let something bother you when we can talk it out."
I nodded.
“I’m terrified of losing the baby,” I said seconds later and I couldn’t look him in the eyes. I was afraid I’d start crying.
It was unbelievable and foreign to me how I could love someone so much in such a small space of time without actually meeting them.
“Eve,” Kit moved closer and pulled me against him as I closed my eyes.
“It’s normal to feel like that, but I suppose I can understand why it’s a lot harder for you,” he said into my hair and I felt his lips kiss against my forehead.
“Everything will be fine at the scan,” he said, looking me in the eyes. He held my face in his hands and spoke with so much certainty. I didn’t know how he could do it. He had no idea if everything at the scan was going to be okay, he had as much of a clue as I did but I loved him so much for trying to ease my mind anyway.
“You don’t understand Kit, I legit feel like my insides are going to eat me whole if I don't get my hands on some."
“You disgust me."
“Where do you keep it? Tell me!” I ordered.
“How would I know? It’s not my filthy habit. Seriously, you people need therapy."
I rolled my eyes once more before standing further on my tiptoes to reach the back of the cupboard where I found it.
“Got you, you beauty...” I lowered the jar of perfection to the counter and lifted the jar to dip my finger into the perfect gooey Marmite before sucking on it hard and humming with satisfaction. I chose then to turn around and as I opened my eyes, I saw Kit holding his coffee cup only inches away from his mouth. He stared at me, his mouth slightly agape.
“I dunno if I should be disgusted or be bending you over the kitchen counter. Either way, you sucking on that finger and humming like that has me hard as a fucking rock. Do you mind?"
“I’m sorry,” I said before picking up the jar and approaching him. “Do you want some?”
“Oh, no. Seriously Eves, don't come near me with that shit,” he warned and once again I dipped my finger into the jar and lifted out my finger before approaching him some more.
“Eves, don't you- ”
I pushed my hand forward towards his face, smirking, but he ducked out of the way and off of the kitchen stool before I could touch him.
“You little minx,” he said trying to sound serious and I squealed and laughed as he got hold of my finger and deliberately tried to smear my face with it.
“You enjoy it,” he grinned as I fought him.
I loved hearing Kit laugh and as he picked me up and took me into the living room, he took the jar from my hand and sat us both on the couch with me on top of him. Placing the jar down he waited until I popped my finger back into my mouth and sucked off the Marmite from my finger.
I couldn't help but glance down as I felt the hardness growing between my legs and as I looked back at Kit’s face, I lapped up the sexy look he had on it. The way he had it reserved for me, along with his fuck-me eyes. We sat that way for a little until Kit caught my mouth with his and we heard movement from the stairs.
“Don’t you both be hurting my nephew with that hanky panky!” Nick said as he walked to the kitchen.
It made me smile so much, Kit’s brothers were so protective over our baby already and I couldn’t wait to bring my baby into this family.
Despite being a slightly dysfunctional family, I knew they would cherish our baby just as much as we would.
Whilst spending so much time with Kit, he had told me more about each of his brothers and the involvement they each had in Delta.
Kit had taken a well-needed break from his job to heal after he’d been shot in the chest.
* * *
Later that day, I laid with my knuckle to my mouth and glanced over at Kit.
We were watching a film together but my mind was els
ewhere.
“Tell me about my dad?”
Kit shifted beside me and he positioned himself so he could look over me whilst I turned to face him. We’d been lying in bed over an hour and we’d been silent all that time whilst the film had been playing. I knew we were both thinking about the scan tomorrow and although I was terrified, being in Kit’s arms eased me more than he could ever know. I somehow got thinking about my parents, and how I wished I could talk to them for some loving advice. They were always there for me when I needed them, I remembered at times I would shout at them for trying to discuss certain things with me. Certain things that a teenager would be mortified about discussing with their parents. I wished now, that I had them with me to talk about all of those embarrassing stuff.
To talk about anything.
“What do you wanna know?”
“Anything,” I said without thinking...
“Except brutal things."
Although I’d accepted what my father had been, I still didn't want Kit telling me about certain things, I just couldn’t swallow it.
“Your dad once punched me,” he said casually and I stared at him, wondering why the hell he’d said that.
“What?” I asked, dumbfounded.
“Why would he do that?”
“Because I deserved it.” Kit smiled slightly.
I didn't answer again, only waited for him to continue.
“I didn't deserve your dad’s help, but he gave me it anyway. He trained me, treated me like a son and kept me safe from members of my dad’s gang trying to track us down."
Listening intently, I decided to sit up and I crossed my legs as he continued.
“I was fucked up, a complete waste of space after the job my dad had done on me but still, I somehow resented your dad for having him killed, despite what my father had put me through."
“Loyalty had been drilled into me from such a young age, drilled into me by the most disloyal person- my father. I rebelled against your dad, acted like a total twat half the time and he called me out on it. He reminded me just what my father was and we had a huge argument about it during training. I said a lot of things I shouldn’t have said- called him a coward for not completing the job himself and your dad punched me. At the time I didn't know why I never fought him back... I guess now I do."