What the Heart Desires

by Kelli McCracken

  Layne must have sensed her weakness when she loosened her grip. He drew her to his chest, supporting the weight of her head. She gritted her teeth through the pain. The pillows at her back did little to relieve the ache circling her waist. When it increased in her stomach, it did the same in her bottom. The urge to bear down became too much.

  “I need to push.” She panted through the contraction. The harder her belly grew, the more she squeezed Layne’s hand. Her muscles ached, burned, and stretched as she used them to lean forward and strain.

  Holding onto Layne, she shifted her eyes to Dylan, but his remained below. His hands trailed from her knees, moving down the sides of her legs as he kneeled in front of her.

  “It will ease in a minute. I promise.”

  “It already is.”

  She took a few deep breaths and dropped back. Layne was there to catch her. The warmth of his hand heated her neck when his fingers curled around the nape. They remained there until her head lay on the pillow.

  “Take deeper breaths,” he insisted.

  After he pulled his hand away, he used it to wipe a bead of sweat from her face. Her hair was damp. It had to be with the way it clung to her neck. But even through the sweat, she still shivered. Her muscles ached from all the straining.

  “How much longer?”

  Dylan gazed up. “You’re getting closer. Layla said she thinks the baby will crown soon.”

  “Crown?”

  He nodded. His lips parted to provide her with an answer, but he closed them back when he noticed her gritting her teeth. The ache in her belly resumed. She inhaled through her nose, exhaled through her mouth. When her muscles knotted into a ball, she grabbed onto Layne.

  Pain shot across her belly, down her hips, until the pressure returned below. She grunted and strained, using her tender muscles to aid the baby with her departure. Yet the more she tried, the longer the pain lasted.

  Another cry worked past her lips, hitting the air around them. It had Dylan and Layne both staring at her, their faces crumpling at the sounds leaving her mouth. Guilt pulsed in Dylan for his part in causing her pain. Not because of what happened with his father, but the fact that he’d gotten her pregnant. Creating their daughter had been easy, bringing her into the world, not so much.

  Layne’s energy coursed with helplessness. He had the ability to save her life, but there was little he could do to ease the pain ripping her apart. It tore at him, making him quake with anger—anger at himself for failing her.

  Fighting for every breath, she leaned her head against his shoulder, unable to keep her body in a sitting position. Her strength dwindled, but the contraction didn’t, not by much.

  Layne brushed the hair from her face, and whispered, “Focus on me, Heaven. Focus on my fire. Let it wrap around you until it consumes you the way it does me.”

  His eyes danced about her face, but hope sparked within them—hope she knew stemmed from the idea of easing her pain. It wasn’t long before the fire in his soul flared between them. It gained strength the more she thought about him, about the connection they shared. At such a rapid pace, she worried he’d form a flame.

  He eased his hand from her face, adjusting his body so that he pressed one hand to her spine. The tips of his fingers crept across her skin like a spider crawling over its web. It came to rest at the small of her back. She didn’t know how he knew where the throbbing originated, but he found it in an instant.

  “You’re doing good,” he told her, his voice soft and soothing. He worked his fingers against her back, kneading the aching muscles. “Keep focusing on us, Heaven. Focus on the fire between us. Feel the way it’s gaining strength.”

  While he continued massaging her lower back, she allowed his energy to consume her. Then he stilled his hand and pressed harder. A surge of heat blazed through her body. She gasped at the relief it provided, unable to silence the groan that followed.

  Had he formed a flame? The heat at her back burned with the same intensity as the flames she’d touched. With the amount of release it was giving, she didn’t care if one had developed. As long as nothing caught fire, she knew she could withstand the heat.

  “Is it helping?”

  She nodded when words failed to form. Even if she could speak, she could never express her gratitude for what he was doing. Whether the relief would last once the contraction began, she didn’t know, but at least he’d given her some peace.

  Layne worked his other hand lower. The heat surging through her back did the same to the muscles in her belly. It took the edge off, even though a dull ache lingered. She wished the rest of the delivery would stay like this.

  He leaned in closer, placing his forehead against her temple. His breath beat against her cheek when he exhaled. “Are you ready for the next one?”

  “I think so.”

  “Good. Get ready. I’ll be right here with you.” He released another breath, like he was working up the courage to pull away. When he found that strength, he raised his head and scooted closer.

  Heaven sat up, locking eyes with her husband once she did. A war raged within him every second he stared. He hated himself for bringing her there, for not providing her with an easier delivery. He hated that she was suffering through this, that no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t bear the brunt of her pain.

  Yet the part he hated the most was not being the one at her side. He wanted to hold her hand through every contraction, wanted to be the one whispering words of encouragement.

  She stretched her arm forward, unable to keep it from shaking. Her strength was fading fast, but Dylan leaned up and grasped her hand. His lips grazed the backside, then he peered up once more. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  They said nothing else. The contractions resumed full force. Layne’s abilities comforted her enough for the brief moment with Dylan, but reality always found its way back into their life.

  Her belly hardened, again. The ache spreading through her ripped away at Layne’s energy. She held on to it as long as she could, but her contractions were relentless. The current one was the worst thus far. She pushed against the pain with everything she had.

  No words could describe the ache. There was nothing in comparison, not even close. More pressure formed between her legs. Then something shifted between them. A sharp pain shot down her thighs. She grunted, panted, and when her legs lost feeling, a scream broke from deep in her chest.

  Time seemed to stand still. The room grew hazy. All sounds faded to the beat of her heart. Everything rocked, including her body. Then her head fell back to the pillow.

  She writhed against the bed, unable to breathe, speak, or do anything other than grit her teeth. She blinked against her blurred vision until Layne’s face came back into view.

  “Heaven?” He gripped her shoulders. “Heaven, answer me.”

  His voice was frantic, but not as frantic as the energy coming from the end of the bed. Dylan stood. He looked as though he were about to move around the bed when Layne spoke up.

  “No! You stay there.” He pointed his finger toward Dylan. “Wait for the baby. I’ll take care of her.” His hand swept over her shoulder, to her neck, as his fingers curled around it.

  “I want to check on my wife,” Dylan growled. He yanked the phone from his ear and glared at Layne, but her Keeper didn’t seem fazed by the threatening tone.

  “That’s why I’m here. Remember? You wanted me to help her while you delivered the baby. It’s not like we can trade places. Unless you want me seeing her…personal area.”

  Dylan tossed his hands in the air. They slapped back to his legs as he shook his head. “What the hell, man? You think the baby’s going to shoot out the second I step away?”

  “For just this once, will you listen to me? Do it for your daughter’s sake. She’s the one that needs you. I will take care of Heaven.”

  A rebuttal played on Dylan’s lips, but he placed the phone back to his ear. “Fine. But do something, damn it. Loo
k at her.” He pointed in her direction until Layne’s eyes followed. “She’s in fucking pain. She—”

  Layne turned to Dylan, but her husband held up his finger, signaling for him to wait as he listened to whatever Layla was saying.

  “Your mom said to get behind Heaven.” He paused again, nodding his head while Layla’s voice hummed in the distance. “She said slide behind her. You’re going to support her body and help her push.”

  Without saying another word, Layne stood from the bed, slipping off his shoes. When he came back, he curled his hands around her shoulders, pulling her into a sitting position. The heat radiating from his skin warmed her chest as he held her in one arm and slid behind her.

  Once he was in place, he drew her against him and swaddled her arms with his. The warmth of his body heated her shoulders, but it didn’t feel as good as the heat surrounding her lower back.

  She couldn’t deny the awkwardness that sitting between his legs brought. It worsened when she saw Dylan observing. He wanted to be the one sitting beside her, but he sacrificed his wants because love made you do crazy things. Dylan loved her, loved the baby she was struggling to bring into the world. If Layla felt Layne would benefit her from this position, her husband refused to argue.

  As Dylan kneeled below her, anticipation thrummed within him. He rubbed the tops of her feet and said words that stoked her determination to life. “Let’s meet our daughter.”

  She nodded, blinking away the tears his words inspired. When Layne placed his hands on her back and stomach, he leaned his body into hers. “You can do this.”

  Bearing down as hard as she could, she held her breath as the pain consumed her. The heat in Layne’s hands helped her to keep fighting, but another contraction numbed her bottom.

  “Oh, my God,” she growled. She wanted to give up, wanted to let the pain consume her until she passed out.

  “Don’t stop, Heaven,” Dylan called to her. “The baby’s crowning. I can see her head.”

  It was the first good news she’d heard all evening. She focused on that thought, using every muscle in her body to keep pushing. More pressure formed below, spreading to her legs once more. They began to twitch, and then shake.

  Weakness threatened to overtake her body. And just when she thought she couldn’t take any more, the sharpest, searing pain blazed to life. It consumed her belly, her bottom, her uttermost core, ripping and tearing its way through her.

  She screamed again, unable to keep up the fight as she collapsed against Layne. Tears blinded her until they broke free. Her chest began to shake.

  “I can’t do this,” she cried.

  “You already are,” Dylan assured her. A smile spread across his lips when he lifted his eyes. “Her head is out, Heaven. Layla said it’s almost over.”

  “No,” she cried. “I can’t. I…I don’t have any more strength in me.”

  “Yes. You. Do.” Layne leaned his head against hers. “You can do this, Heaven. Hold on just a little longer.”

  She wanted to hold on, to keep pushing with every muscle in her body until the pain receded. Her body wouldn’t cooperate. She shook her head again, but Layne didn’t back down. He kept his arms wrapped around her, supporting her back. The heat of his words teased her ear when he spoke again.

  “You can’t stop. If you do, your baby will die. Fight for this, Heaven. Fight for your child.”

  Another contraction built before the other receded. Heaven leaned her body forward, bearing and growling. It felt like her bottom was ripping apart. She gritted her teeth, screaming out every second she contracted her muscles.

  “Keep going, baby,” Dylan begged. He worked his hand up her leg, reaching for hers until their fingers locked together. “She’s so close, Heaven, so close. Just a little longer.”

  Heaven bore back down. She fought against the ripping in her groin. And when her insides wouldn’t budge anymore, she fell back against Layne.

  “I’ve got you,” he whispered.

  She nodded, struggling for each breath she took. Then a sound echoed through the room. A sound she wouldn’t forget as long as she lived. The unmistakable wails of a newborn.

  “It’s a girl,” Dylan beamed.

  Heaven peered below. She held her breath when they fell on the tiny body squirming in her husband’s hands. “Is she okay?”

  “Yeah.” His voice quivered. “She’s perfect.”

  He grabbed one of the towels that remained at the foot of the bed, shaking it loose before he spread it across the mattress. He laid their daughter across it, taking another towel from the pile to wipe the blood from her face and body. Her arms trembled as she wailed, each one growing louder and longer.

  Once Dylan finished, he folded another towel around the first and moved to the bedside. Heaven’s arms ached when he leaned over her. The warm bundle he laid on her chest stole her breath. She wrapped her arms around their daughter and snuggled her close.

  A tiny, round face peeked behind the crease in the towel. Heaven teased the peachy skin, amazed at how soft it was. Though the baby’s hair was as dark as Dylan’s, she knew where she’d gotten the mess of curls atop her head.

  She gazed at the miracle she and Dylan created. She’d never seen anything so beautiful in her life. Her husband was right. She was perfect.

  CHAPTER 7

  Dylan pushed the end button on the cordless phone and set it on the dresser. It was hard to end the call with all the well wishes echoing in the background of the Lewis house. He hated not being able to send pictures to their family, but the lack of cell reception made it impossible.

  Thank God they had a landline. He refused to consider what might have happened had Layla not talked him through the delivery. She’d been a godsend, even afterward, when he cut the umbilical cord. Now that he had a moment of silence, he planned on spending it with his wife and daughter.

  His daughter… The more he thought about the accuracy of his intuition, the further his lips curled in a smile. He knew they would have a girl when he saw those double blue lines on the pregnancy test.

  Turning toward the bed, his eyes fell on Heaven and the tiny bundle nestled in her arms. The delicate thrum of her energy beckoned him forward. He couldn’t resist her or the pull of her soul on his. It was their first moment alone since Layne left the room, and the first time he didn’t have the phone attached to his ear.

  His friend would be back soon. It wouldn’t take him long to find the diaper bag with the bottles and formula. Might as well take advantage of the privacy and enjoy the time with his baby girl.

  He reached the bed in a few long strides, easing down on the mattress next to her. Propped against a stack of pillows, she held their daughter close. Both tears of pain and joy stained her cheeks. She stroked the baby’s face, pulsing the deepest vibes of love toward her. They were like the vibes she pulsed toward him, yet different. They contained no desire, only the purest form of love.

  As he leaned in closer, he brushed his lips against her neck. He swept them up further, the sweet scent of her skin filling every one of his breaths. The rise and fall of her chest matched the sigh leaving her lips. She was happy, the happiest he’d seen her in a long time. After enduring such a hellacious labor, she deserved to be happy.

  “Hey,” she whispered. He couldn’t resist the urge to press his lips to hers, so he did. They melded together in a series of tender kisses, kisses that spoke of nothing but his love for her.

  When they finally parted, she held his gaze, a hint of a smile tugged at her lips. “What was that for?”

  “Do you really have to ask?” Their daughter came into view as he caressed her tiny cheek. She made the sweetest sound, something between a grunt and cry, and nestled closer to Heaven. He did the same. “What you did today… I’ve never been more amazed by you than I am right now.”

  She rubbed her nose with his. The heat of her breath warmed his lips when hers met his in another series of kisses. He didn’t mind, wouldn’t mind if she did nothing but kis
s him for the rest of the night. Nothing arousing, just soft, sweet kisses. Celebratory kisses for the birth of their baby girl.

  When she eased back, the beat of her energy filled with gratitude. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For today.” She glanced at their daughter and then to him. “For what you did for her. For allowing Layne to do what he did for me. I couldn’t have made it through this without either one of you.”

  He chuckled at her answer. She was too modest. “All we did is assist you. You’re the one that got her here.”

  Her cheeks flushed as she shook her head and leaned into the pillows. “Well, now that she’s here, I think it’s time we give her a name.”

  A name. Of course. How could he forget?

  He thought of the ones they’d discussed over the last few months, though few came to mind. She’d been so sure they were having a boy. They hadn’t considered many girl names.

  “Have you thought of any?”

  “Just a few, but there is one I’ve been stuck on for the last few days.” She lifted her arms, bringing their daughter closer to her face, as well as his. “I like Adalyn. Adalyn Rose. What do you think?”

  Repeating the name in his head, he admired his daughter’s button nose and chubby cheeks. It felt as though his heart had wings, the way it kept fluttering in his chest. He didn’t think he could ever love anyone as much as he loved Heaven, but he’d been wrong. His daughter had a special place in his heart, all to herself.

  “I think it’s perfect. Adalyn Rose McBride.” He caressed his daughter’s cheek once more. She whimpered this time. Her little hands balled into fists that she brought to her mouth and suckled.

  “I think she’s getting hungry.”

  “I agree.”

  What in the hell was taking Layne so long? Heaven explained where she left the diaper bag. He should have returned with it by now. Perhaps he was giving them some time alone. Then again, he may have needed a minute for himself. From the second Heaven announced her water had broke, the intensity between the three of them built. They all needed to decompress.