What the Heart Desires

by Kelli McCracken

  “Just the weekend. I spent all day Saturday in bed, crying. Nate stayed with me. He took care of me, promised everything would be okay, and then he told me how much I meant to him. It felt comfortable and good, and I was so caught up in old feelings and memories that I…I just stopped thinking. Then Nate and I…”

  The room seemed to spin as Heaven gripped the cushion. She couldn’t believe it, couldn’t believe that her mother and Dylan’s father—

  “Does Dad know?”

  “Yeah.” Her mother blotted her eyes with the tissues. “He came to see me Sunday evening after I came home. He apologized for what he did, said he’d never love anyone but me, and begged me for another chance. So I told him I slept with Nate.”

  Heaven couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Much of it sounded familiar in the things she’d experienced with Dylan and Layne. It increased her fear. She didn’t want to lose either of them.

  “I guess my sisters and I are proof that Dad forgave you.”

  “He did more than forgive me. He blamed himself.” She swiped the tissue across her nose and refaced Heaven. “Long story short, we worked through the majority of our problems. Nate and your father tolerated each other from that point on, but he never got over me going back to your dad. He carried resentment until the day we severed ties.”

  Sadness still lingered in her mother, but most had receded. It definitely helped to talk about her previous relationship with Nate. Now that she had, it only raised a million other questions in Heaven’s mind.

  Glancing at the clock across the room, she knew it wouldn’t be long before Dylan was back and ready to chat. How could she talk to him about anything when so much about their life had been kept from them? She didn’t know where to begin.

  “Why are you telling me about this?”

  “Because I want you to know that I understand what you’re going through. There are two men who care deeply for you and I know that you’re torn between them. No matter what happens, Heaven, know that what you’re feeling isn’t wrong. All Seekers and Keepers have a physical connection at least once in their lifetime.”

  “Excuse me?”

  She glared at her mom, hoping to appear more offended than guilty. Was her mother trying to insinuate something? Worse, had her mom noticed something in her aura, something that showed that she and Layne had been intimate? The combined energy that made up their affinity had a color. It wouldn’t surprise her if their increased connection had changed it.

  “I’m not accusing you of anything, Heaven. I’m just saying that you wouldn’t be the first. We’ve all been there, even Delia. It’s part of a Seeker’s curse, her biggest fault. We love our Keepers, wholeheartedly.”

  She appreciated her mom’s honesty on the history of Seeker and Keeper relationships. But she still hadn’t mentioned anything about the affinity. Why, Heaven still didn’t know, but she’d have an answer before she left this room. In fact, her mother had given her the perfect opportunity to bring up the subject.

  “Can I read about Seeker-Keeper relationships in the Tome of Souls?”

  Her mother nodded as she looked at the scrapbook in her lap. It was the moment Heaven needed to bring up the affinity and hopefully get the truth once and for all. Tuning into her mother’s emotional vibrations would be critical because her first reaction would say a lot.

  “I was hoping to read up on affinities too, but it’s kinda hard to do that when the pages are missing.”

  “Beg your pardon?”

  Confusion wavered inside her mom before she looked up. It was a good sign that she hadn’t taken the pages, but it wasn’t proof. It sure as hell didn’t explain why she’d hidden the truth about the affinity.

  “Do you really not know, or are you hiding something else from me, Mom?”

  “I’m just as confused as you are. How do you know there are missing pages?”

  Concentrating on her mom’s emotions, she sensed honesty within her answer. Still, it wasn’t enough to erase her doubt or her anger over being lied to again. So she may not have taken the pages. Great. It didn’t excuse the deceit.

  “Layla showed me the book right before I came in here. We talked about affinities too, but her version went a lot different than the one you and Delia mentioned. According to her story, affinities are more consuming than a soulmate bond. In fact, affinities are soulmate bonds, the strongest soulmate bonds.”

  Her mother’s mouth opened, but no words left her mouth. Her voice cracked when she tried speaking. As much as she wanted to believe her mother was hearing about this for the first time, she knew it wasn’t true. This was old news.

  “I know the truth, Mom. I know affinity bonds happen when a Psi is stripped of his birthright. I know that Layne was supposed to be my soulmate. What I don’t know is why you and Delia lied to me. Which of you took the pages?”

  “Sweetheart, I swear to you. I don’t know who took the pages. It wasn’t me.” She patted her chest as incentive, but it didn’t make Heaven feel any better. Then something in her mom’s energy shifted. Remorse flooded her as she closed the book in her lap. “Layla is right, Heaven. She’s right about the affinity.”

  “Which part?”

  The seconds ticked by with haste, but no answer came. Not at first, not until her mother set the book aside and turned to face her. “She’s right about all of it. Affinities happen when a Psi’s birthright is stripped. His soulmate bond is his birthright. Layne was supposed to be your soulmate.”

  “Then why?” The question came out in a whisper when her voice refused to cooperate. Disbelief constricted her throat. “Why did you allow me and Dylan to think that we… Why did you tell us that the prophecy stated Nate’s son would be soulmates with the most powerful Seeker?”

  “I didn’t. I told you that the prophecy said Nate’s son would marry the most powerful Seeker. And he did.”

  Shaking her head at her mother’s answer, she stood up from the couch, ready to walk away. How could she do this? How could her own mother keep these critical details to herself? This didn’t only affect her. It affected Adalyn, too.

  “I can’t believe you knew about this and didn’t tell me. You had so many opportunities, Mom, yet you said nothing, not even when Delia swore Dylan was my soulmate.”

  “He is.”

  “But how can that be? Is it because Layne lost his birthright?”

  Her mother shifted against the cushioned bench. “It’s complicated, sweetheart.”

  “Complicated? I’ll tell you what’s complicated, Mom. Everything. My life. My soul. My heart. How can I save the world if the love Dylan and I are supposed to share is based on a lie?”

  “It isn’t based on a lie. Your love is real, but love is about more than being with someone. It’s about more than a happily ever after with your soulmate. Love is about the sacrifices you’re willing to make for the person you care about most.” Her mom stood and moved around to face her. “There is more at stake than what you realize, honey. We didn’t tell you because we didn’t want either of them turning to darkness. They’re both important to you.”

  “What else haven’t you told me?”

  Her mother’s lips whitened from pressing them together. She backed away and pivoted toward the fireplace. The secrets within her were on the brink of finding their way out, but she fought to keep them in. Every second she stood in silence decreased Heaven’s patience. There was nothing else her mom could tell her that would be more shocking than Layne being her original soulmate.

  “Mom, please. I know there’s more. I deserve to know what it is.”

  “You have to understand one thing, Heaven. You couldn’t have fought any of this even if you tried. Layne is your Keeper. At some point, you and he will be intimate. Continuing that intimacy is optional for most Seekers, but for you…” She turned from the fireplace. “Because of the affinity, being with Layne will trigger your soulmate connection. You’ll want him the same way you want Dylan.”

  “How will this affect my bon
d with Dylan?”

  “Oh, sweetheart, that’s the most complicated part of this. You’ll… Wait a second.” A familiar look entered her eyes, one Heaven knew from her childhood. The one that said her motherly instincts had kicked in. “Have you and Layne—?”

  “Yes.”

  She covered her mouth, regretting her confession. She hadn’t meant to say anything, but her conscience got the better of her. This wasn’t about keeping a secret from her husband. It was about losing him forever.

  “It happened after Layne almost died. I was healing him, and the pull was too much for both of us. He fought it hard, we both did, but I had this feeling that if we were intimate, he would heal faster. It worked.”

  “Is this the only time you and Layne were together?”

  Disbelief flooded her as she backed away. “Are we really going to have this discussion?”

  “I have to ask, Heaven. If you and Layne sleep together three times, it will fully restore your connection to what it was supposed to be.”

  “Then what?”

  “You’ll have two soulmates, Heaven. And unless you can convince them to coexist, your soul will never find balance.”

  Even if she’d found her voice, she couldn’t have responded to her mom’s statement. There wouldn’t have been time. The patio door creaked to life, drawing her attention as well as her mother’s, to the bodies filing in to the house.

  A flash of heat jolted though her the minute she saw her husband. She paid little mind to her father and mother-in-law, who were directly behind him. Their presence mattered not when Dylan was making his way to her. The smile crooking his mouth made her heart ache.

  Because once he knew the truth, he’d never grace her with his smile again.

  * * *

  The warmth of Dylan’s embrace chased the chill from Heaven’s arms. She inhaled his spicy scent, enjoying the way it reminded her of when they first met. After the last day, it seemed like a lifetime ago. Hard to believe it would be a year in a few days.

  What a hell of a year. Whoever said it was the hardest made an understatement. The first year was insane. Many secrets had unraveled, and because of those secrets, her life would never be the same.

  As Dylan tightened his arms around her, he tucked his face against her neck. His chest expanded in her arms before receding back to normal. She loved feeling him breathe. His breaths were still in sync with hers. So was his heartbeat. She felt it vibrating her cheek.

  Before this was over, she’d break his heart. He would never forgive her for what she did, regardless of the details. There would be no use in telling him the truth about the affinity, not at this point, because he wouldn’t believe it. Without the missing pages, there was no proof other than what their parents said. Broken hearts clung to denial, and Dylan would deny it to the end. Admitting anything else would mean he had to accept she wasn’t just his anymore. She belonged to Layne too.

  What a mess…

  “Is everything okay?”

  His voice caused her body to stiffen. Had Adalyn removed their block? She searched for his emotions but hit a brick wall like every time. The block remained in place.

  “I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

  “I think I could list plenty of reasons why you wouldn’t be okay, but this isn’t about those reasons.” His head tilted to the side of the room where her mom sat. “What’s wrong with your mom?”

  She shrugged, unable to tell him the truth. Not now. He deserved privacy when getting the type of news she had to deliver. If she delivered…

  “When I came into the den, she was already in here, crying. She’s been looking through her scrapbooks, reminiscing.”

  It wasn’t a lie or the whole truth. It was a recount of the minute she’d entered the den, not the twenty-minute conversation she and her mom just finished.

  She did a quick survey of the room. Her father remained near the patio door in a rigid stance. He was hurt. She felt the vibrations within him. The way his pride beat down his remorse kept him from going to her mom’s side. They were reflecting each other’s emotional pain. It was the downside of having a soulmate. She knew the feelings all too well. So did Dylan.

  Her husband broke their embrace and faced the hall. “Where’s Adalyn?”

  “She’s with Hope and Scott in the living room. I was supposed to shower while they watched her, but I ran into Mom. I couldn’t leave her.”

  There was no point in telling him that she’d talked with Layla too. He’d only ask questions, and she’d barely dodged the ones he’d already asked. It was best to leave things as they were until they were alone.

  “Well, why don’t we collect our daughter and head to the cottage?”

  Doing her best not to tense at the suggestion, she forced her lips upward and nodded. This was what she wanted, to chat with him in private, though she doubted he had any plans on talking. Not with the way his eyes raked over her body.

  He wouldn’t feel the same if he knew all the secrets she kept.

  The thought made her stomach roll. She fought against the fire forming inside her belly as Dylan ushered her forward in the direction of the door. The minute they walked into the hall, a wall of heat consumed her.

  Layne stood near the kitchen, talking to his parents. She held his gaze. Sweat beaded at her back, under the spot where Dylan’s hand remained. The further they walked, the closer Layne grew, as did the urge to go to him. She wanted to be close to him, wanted his hand to be in the same spot Dylan’s was.

  Dear God. Her mother was right. She wanted Layne as much as she wanted Dylan.

  For a moment, she anticipated him pulling her into his arms. It wasn’t from lack of want on his end. Every ounce of his want quaked inside their connection, but he didn’t approach her, no matter how much it distressed him to remain at the door with his hands at his sides.

  As she and Dylan passed him, she questioned whether or not his mother had told him the truth. Did he know their affinity was more than a Seeker-Keeper bond?

  Did he know they were soulmates?

  It wasn’t until she entered the living room that she heard Layne approaching from behind. When she spotted Hope and Adalyn, Dylan joined her side. She peeked over her shoulder as Layne made his way into the dining room. No matter how much she enjoyed the feeling of his soul tugging hers, she couldn’t lose herself in the sensation. His parents and Delia walked up behind him.

  “Did you come to steal my niece?”

  Hope chuckled the words, drawing Heaven’s attention back to her and Adalyn. Her daughter lay on her sister’s chest in the same position as when she’d left, but her energy hummed peacefully.

  “Don’t worry, Hope. You can have her back in a little while.” Dylan crept closer to the couch, staring at their daughter the entire time. He laughed at her sister when she frowned. “I give you my word. I’ll make sure you get her before your dad does, but right now, I need some time with my ladies.”

  “Are you guys going somewhere?”

  Layne’s question had Heaven turning to face him. He didn’t bother glancing her way, but in Dylan’s direction instead.

  “We’re going to the cottage for a little while. I need some time with Heaven, and Adalyn needs time with her mother. We’ll be back inside in a bit.”

  Though she worried Layne would insist on going, she was surprised to see him nodding. It was only for Dylan’s benefit. The more she focused on him, the more she sensed his disappointment.

  He didn’t want her to go anywhere with Dylan. His apprehension said as much, but she sensed inadequacy too. He didn’t feel he had the right to say anything. There was only one reason he would feel that way. He didn’t know about his rights. Layla didn’t tell him the truth.

  She didn’t tell him they were Twin Flames.

  The realization had little time to sink in when another wave of energy made her turn toward the door. Something about it seemed familiar. The rhythm reminded her of the man who freed her and Layne from the quarry. At the same tim
e, she sensed something new.

  “I sense it too.” Layne mumbled.

  “Sense what?” Dylan asked. “Is someone here?”

  She didn’t have time to explain. If Layne was tuned in to her emotions, then he knew what her intentions were, to go outside and see who had arrived. He would do his best to stop her if she didn’t go now.

  Breaking into a quick stride, she reached the door in time to hear both men call her name. She didn’t hesitate in the least. Before they could react, she swung open the door and she stepped onto the porch. It didn’t prevent them from pursuing her, but at least she’d have enough time to see who’d arrived. While she’d never been so insistent to run into possible danger, something about the energy urged her forward. She needed to do this.

  Wind whipped around the house as the sky began to darken. There was no visible sign of the sun, which should be directly above them. Only dull gray clouds loomed, hinting to an approaching storm.

  Severe weather wasn’t the only thing looming in the distance. So were two cloaked figures. How they got there, she didn’t know. No new vehicles populated the driveway.

  Mason stood at the edge of the sidewalk. Spencer and Isaac weren’t far away. Each flanked opposite sides of the strange men. The elder Keepers didn’t deter them when they moved toward the house, but they were ready to pounce at the first sign of trouble.

  “Son of a bitch.” Dylan grumbled the words beside her. His hand warmed her upper arm, but so did another.

  Layne’s…

  They neither acknowledged each other nor the fire jolting through her as both tugged. She did little but sway from side to side, but her resistance regained their attention.

  Pride and jealousy normally went hand in hand, as it did when Layne and Dylan realized they were tugging her at the same time. Their emotions built in strength as they exchanged glares.

  Now was the not the time for them to be territorial. Each wanted to be the better man, but it solved nothing. The cloaked men were still pressing toward the house. The reason for their arrival remained unknown, and neither seemed intimidated.

  The thought pushed fear through her heart, enough fear for Layne to forget about Dylan. She sensed him staring. He wanted to release her and back down from the situation. Dylan beat him to it. He slipped in front of her, shielding her from a possible attack.