Convincing Derrick

by Sara Blackard

  Three

  Derrick stood in the shadows of the barn as he stared at Kiki with her head tipped back to the sun and a contented smile pushing her cheeks up. He’d watched her a lot since he carried her from Samantha’s junker of a car last fall. Kiki’s feet had been so bruised and cut she hadn’t been able to walk for over a week. His lip tweaked up on one side, remembering how much of a protest she’d raised every time he’d go to carry her somewhere. She hadn’t wanted to put him or anyone else out. Still didn’t.

  The palomino whinnied from where she huddled behind the brown in the corral’s corner. It had been a long night trying to coax that poor girl out of the trailer. She’d gotten the brown all riled up with her fussing, and now he was back to square one with them cowering from him. That was the way of rehabilitation—in both people and animals, probably. One step forward to healing, two or three steps back.

  His gaze bounced from the horses to Kiki. She reminded him a lot of his horses. She’d come to them beat-up, heartbroken, and without a home. The times she’d come to the house with her cousin last fall trying to visit Eva, he’d sensed something different about her, like she hadn’t been filled in on all the details of her family’s mission.

  When she’d done what she could to stop her psycho of a cousin from kidnapping Eva, she’d become one of the team, a part of the Stryker family. Convincing her of that had been a long, slow road he still wasn’t sure they had finished traveling. The contented smile was a good sign. Much better than the forced one she often wore, like she wasn’t sure if she was welcome in their merriment.

  She pranced down the steps like a filly frolicking through the hayfield, her short skirt flapping in the wind. He stifled a laugh. Was she really going to work out with Lena in that getup? She looked like she was ready to go play tennis at some fancy health club, not improve her self-defense with Lena during their daily lessons.

  The palomino whinnied loudly, like she was calling to Kiki for help. Kiki stopped, her eyes traveling over the corral and her forehead scrunching. He’d left so fast yesterday afternoon that he hadn’t told her he was getting more horses, not that he had to check in or anything. Most of the time she steered clear of the barn, like she was afraid of the horses or something. Yet she always asked how things were going. Always kept tabs on which horses he brought in and how they were progressing.

  She pulled her phone out of some pocket hidden in her skirt, though how one had hidden in the outfit was beyond him. The happy lift of her shoulders slumped, causing Derrick’s muscles to tighten. She often received texts that would settle an invisible weight upon her slender shoulders. He couldn’t imagine the pressure pushing from the heavy load after so many messages.

  She never said anything. Never railed against whoever sent them or threw a fit. She’d tuck her phone away and paste on her million-dollar smile like everything was okay.

  He had happened to be next to her phone when it had sounded an alert. The message that had popped up on the locked screen had his blood boiling. He’d asked her who sent it. She just shrugged and mumbled her friends back home and efficiently changed the subject. He wanted to take her phone and throw it in the manure heap. She didn’t need that kind of stress, no matter who it came from.

  If they couldn’t see that Kiki differed from her conniving family, then they didn’t deserve her devotion—didn’t deserve her forgiveness. He scoffed and kicked a clod of dirt at his foot. He was so full of it, he sickened himself. If she wanted to forgive the petty ladder climbers and her sleazy relatives, who was he to judge?

  No one, that’s who.

  Especially after his family had forgiven him for the unforgiveable. He held the blame for Josiah’s death. If Derrick hadn’t been trying to show off for his older brother while free climbing, Josiah wouldn’t have had to rescue Derrick when fear froze him on that mountain’s rock face. If Derrick had double checked their climbing gear like he was supposed to, he would have seen the broken spring-loaded cam and thrown it away instead of setting it in the crevice. Because of Derrick, that faulty cam had buckled under Josiah’s heavier weight.

  The guys razzed Derrick about how he always bugged them about their stuff. The nickname Mother Goose, or Goose for short, had been an unfortunate side effect of him clucking at them to triple check their gear. What most of them didn’t know was his burning need for everything and everyone to be in order came from his colossal screw-up.

  He had to do things right, to be perfect. He couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t do his best to always be prepared. So he made sure his team stayed safe, made sure he was always ready for any situation. Yet it was starting to wear on him. He wanted a slower pace, to not always have to be on guard.

  He reached to scratch his lower back but stopped himself. The silicone scars he put on every morning to conceal his emergency escape tools itched under his clothes. Would he ever relax enough to go without the razor blades and handcuff keys he hid on his body every day?

  Okay, maybe he took things a little too far. Since getting out of the army, the likelihood of capture had diminished to almost nil. That didn’t keep him from preparing for the worst every morning. The hidden tools on his body and sewn into his clothing calmed him, gave him a sense of control.

  He rubbed his hand on his neck to wipe away his discomfort.

  He stepped out of the shadows as Kiki resumed her walk to the training center. Her eyes widened, then relaxed as a smile stretched across her face. His chest expanded, and he took a deep breath. Calm down, man. It wasn’t him making joy beam from her that loosened his muscles. He hoped his presence brought all his friends a sense of relief, of camaraderie.

  She’d become a close friend since she’d moved in, and most of the guys now spent more time with their wives and fiancées than with their bros. He got that. It was the next step of life he was glad they had taken. It just meant that he spent most of his off time with his housemates, and since Kiki wasn’t ever off on assignments, when he stayed behind, they hung out. As friends. Nothing more.

  Her startling blue eyes sparkled at him as she waved and picked up her pace to the corral fence. His heart kicked into overdrive, but he ignored it.

  He wasn’t going there with her.

  She was just getting settled into life here and enjoyed being around Eva, while he got more anxious to leave the fast-paced life of playing bodyguard behind and get back to his cowboy roots. She deserved to be here with family after all she’d been through. So while Kiki, with her blue eyes the color of a clear Coloradan sky and her cheery disposition that made him smile, may get his heart riled like a bucking bronc, there really wasn’t any reason to pursue a relationship beyond friendship.

  “Hey, D. Looks like you got some new recruits.” Kiki rested her arms on the top rail, her short stature barely allowing her shoulders to clear the bar.

  “Yeah.” Derrick leaned his side on the fence next to her. “I found these two darlings over in Utah. Got them here late last night.”

  She clicked her tongue. “Hey there, sweeties.” Her soft voice had the mares standing their ears to attention. “You’ve come to a good place, little darlings. Derrick here is just about the nicest man you’ll ever meet.” Her neck pinked as she peeked over at Derrick and back to the horses. “Before you know it, you’ll be out helping others heal.”

  The brown snickered and blew her lips at Kiki. She chuckled low, covering her mouth like she wanted to hold in her laughter. Heat bloomed through Derrick’s chest and his hands broke out in a sweat. Okay, wow. He might not be as unaffected by Kiki as he thought. He straightened from the fence and casually wiped his hands on his jeans.

  “I’m not sure if she’s agreeing with me or doing the horse’s equivalent of sticking her tongue out.” Laughter bubbled through Kiki’s words, causing an odd feeling to effervesce in Derrick’s gut. Her smile wavered as she glanced up at him. “Well, I don’t want to be late meeting Lena. Her torture is more intense than normal when I am.”

  Derrick grunted,
unable to conjure words through the haze her laughter caused.

  She gave him a slight, closed-mouth smile that didn’t reach her suddenly sad eyes and waved as she headed off. Shoot. What the heck was wrong with him? Come on, Nicholson, don’t make things harder on her than it already is.

  “Kiki?” He forced through his tight throat.

  “Yeah?” She turned, her hands wringing in front of her.

  “I’m working them later if you want to stop by after you’re done with Lena.” Derrick pointed his chin to the horses. “I think it’d be good for them if you visit. Let them experience a softer, more gentle human than the jerks who owned them.”

  “You want me to help with them?” The shock in her voice made him regret not asking her before.

  “Yeah. If you want, that is.” Derrick pressed his lips together so he wouldn’t say anything to make her doubt.

  She glanced to the mares, her eyes softening as she stared. “Okay. I’m not sure how I can help, but I’ll come by when I’m done.”

  “Good.” Derrick stepped back toward the safety of the barn. “See you then.”

  She absentmindedly nodded as she headed toward the training room. He had a good hour to pull himself together and get his overactive mind under control. It might take a dunking in the trough, but for his friendship with Kiki, he’d do it. He didn’t want to make it even harder to leave if he decided to start a ranch somewhere. He was positive the grime and frustration that came with working the battered animals would help him remember what was important—staying focused and figuring out what his next step was going to be. He couldn’t do that with his mind tangled with Kiki’s sweet smile and melodic laughter.

  Four

  Kiki rushed toward the training center that used to be the stables before Zeke bought the ranch. It was funny how they completely remodeled the gigantic stable, with its indoor arena, into a shooting range, workout and training room, sick bay, lounge, and storage, and now there were horses on the property that had to be housed in the smaller barn by their place.

  Of course, Derrick’s side hustle came after the guys had been saving people’s lives and taking down names, or whatever it was they did in the hero business. Not that it really was a hustle. He didn’t make any money off rescuing the poor horses. When she’d asked why he did it, he’d just shrugged and said he needed more action than what the job brought.

  The way her housemates talked, their bodyguard jobs more often left them bored than pumping their blood with the rush of adrenaline. Yet she’d seen the charred lawn last fall when Tina’s car blew up and had bitten her nails down to the quick those days Jake and Chloe had crash landed in the middle of a blizzard and couldn’t be rescued. She’d take the ribbing that came from the others about being a desk jockey any day if it meant she didn’t have to deal with psycho stalkers and car bombs.

  She was a wuss, and her friends all knew it. It was why Lena put Kiki through an hour of misery every day she could, to turn Kiki from the cream puff she was to something stronger. She didn’t think she’d ever get past the pastry level, though maybe she’d make it to bear claw or apple fritter status. Those had more substance than a cream puff.

  Geez, she must be hungry.

  She glanced at her watch. Three minutes until the hour of agony began. Not enough time to grab anything from the lounge’s fridge. She groaned and pushed her hand against her protesting stomach. Why hadn’t she thought to eat before? She’d be starving by the time she finished getting pummeled.

  The ragged mares in the corral, with their bones that stuck out beneath their skin, flashed in her brain. She shook her head. She was such a pampered whiner. She didn’t know what it was like to starve. She had no clue what true suffering felt like. What she’d gone through since last fall was nothing compared to what others endured. She went from one place of privilege to another, with the barest hiccup in between.

  Yep. Cream puff.

  She pulled open the door to the training center and squared her shoulders, determined to ignore her hunger and give this training everything she had. She might never be a lean, mean fighting machine like Lena Rebel, but Kiki could train to counterattack before she ran away in fear, most likely screaming her head off.

  Or crying.

  She could see herself bawling if she ever got attacked. That’s why she needed Lena’s help. She couldn’t live with a band of warriors and be the weak link. Not anymore. If she wanted to truly be a part of this hodgepodge family, then she had to toughen up and slough off the spoiled rich girl persona.

  She followed the sound of voices and skin hitting skin to the training room. It looked like any other gym she’d ever been to, with workout equipment lining one wall and a bank of mirrors on the other. The only difference was the large mat in the center of the room that hadn’t graced the upscale hangouts she’d been to back in Texas. That was where the real action happened.

  Kiki stepped into the room, her eyes widening as Rafe and Lena circled each other in the middle of the mat. Rafe’s face bled from a cut above his eyebrow, and Lena’s jaw appeared reddened. Kiki backed up against the doorjamb, trying not to let the show upset her. She’d witnessed sparring since she moved here, but it still left her queasy, like the action movies she endured.

  She’d never liked violence. She had even covered her eyes through cartoons growing up. Her brother and cousin Garrett had loved picking on her for it, torturing insects and small animals just to make her cry. So she’d pretended she had gotten over it, though inside, her gut had twisted with just the thought of violence.

  Still did.

  Which was why she avoided these sparring matches as much as she could and read sappy romances on her phone while the others enjoyed their movies. She didn’t want to not be around everyone else. She enjoyed the way they critiqued the action films, often laughing at how unrealistic they were. She figured the sappier the romance of her book, the more it countered the movie. Give her a good rom-com any day.

  Rafe swung his arm toward Lena’s face. Kiki cringed as Lena ducked and laughed. A fist flew toward her face, and Lena laughed? Kiki shook her head. She’d never understand that.

  “Oh, Malone, you’ve gone soft. Never figured marriage would turn you into a butterball,” Lena taunted.

  With his bulging biceps and shoulders that strained against his t-shirt, Rafe didn’t look soft to Kiki. None of the guys with Stryker Security Force did.

  “Soft? Rebel, you need to get out more if you think I’ve gone soft.” Rafe faked a move left, but punched Lena hard in the gut when she countered.

  Kiki fisted her hands at her side so she didn’t cover her eyes. Lena barely grunted before she darted in close to Rafe, jabbed him twice in the belly, then landed one on his cheek before bounding back out of reach. One dark eyebrow rose on Lena’s gorgeous face, and she smirked as she bounced on her toes.

  As much as Kiki hated conflict, she envied Lena’s strength. Would Kiki ever come close to what Lena could do? Probably not.

  “Dang, Lena. Watch the face!” Rafe’s smile contradicted his words. “You don’t want to mess up perfection.”

  Lena snorted, her hands dropping from their guard. Rafe used the moment to attack, stepping quickly toward her. Kiki watched in awe and horror as Lena stepped into Rafe’s advance instead of away. Her arm swung up, connecting with Rafe’s chin. He dropped like a rag doll. The flopping sound of him hitting the mat rolled Kiki’s stomach.

  Kiki rushed forward when he didn’t move. “Oh, no. What should we do?”

  She knelt next to him, afraid to touch him and hurt him more. His chest moved as he breathed, but, other than that, he stayed completely still. Why wasn’t Lena doing anything? Wasn’t she some super combat medic or something?

  “Lena? Help!” Kiki glanced up at her friend, blinking the sting from her eyes.

  “Don’t worry. He’ll come around.” Lena toed his leg. “I just knocked him out is all.”

  “But …”

  Kiki had seen the way his hea
d had snapped. Her stomach clenched, and she was suddenly glad she’d forgotten to eat. Rafe groaned, and Kiki sat back in relief, brushing the tear that escaped down her cheek.

  “See. You have to toughen up.” Lena rolled her neck and pointed her chin at Kiki. “Can’t neutralize a larger enemy if you aren’t willing to use all your skills.”

  “But, Rafe isn’t the enemy.”

  “If you don’t train like your life depends on it, you will never succeed when a real enemy attacks. Is that what you want, Cookie?”

  Kiki shook her head, a heaviness settling on her slumped shoulders. When Lena had first started calling Kiki Cookie, she’d said it was because Kiki was too darn sweet. Now, she wondered if it had more to do with her being weak rather than nice. She sniffed and placed her hand on Rafe’s shoulder. There wasn’t anything wrong with being sweet, though she longed to not be thought of as weak. She’d have to work on that more. Maybe watch the beat-em-up movies instead of burying her head in her book.

  Rafe rolled over on to his back. His eyebrows furrowed as his gaze landed on Kiki, then glared when they connected with Lena. He pushed up to sitting with a moan.

  “You did the move on me, didn’t you?” Rafe lifted an eyebrow as he rubbed his chin.

  Lena shrugged. “You deserved it.”

  “Move? What move?” Kiki bunched her hands in her skort to keep from patting Rafe on the back in comfort, remembering how Lena had kicked the man while he was down.

  Okay, that wasn’t fair. She’d just nudged him.

  “Sam taught us all this move she learned in Kajukenbo.” Lena walked to her water bottle against the wall and took a deep drink.