Three Little Snowmen (Damned of the 2/19th)

by Timothy Willard

  ...Anthony, I love you... Nagle's voice down the stairwell.

  "What the fuck?" John blurted.

  "Frostbite. He's got frostbite in the wound. Dammit." Nagle bitched. "He was down there too long."

  ...the icicle sliding into the wound, freezing my flesh, and then pulling free, followed by an obscene sucking sound...

  "I think it missed the artery. Goddamn, he's a lucky one." Nagle said. I felt something poke into my skin, the skin stretch, and then something thin and cold lance through it. "This is the best I can do. We'll just have to hope he doesn't bleed out."

  Scalding hot droplets of water were hitting my chest, sliding down my pectoral, into my armpit, and burning my skin along the way.

  "Roll him over." Nagle said. "Watch his head."

  I was limp as the hands moved me, and once again the thin sliver of ice moved through my skin, dragging a red hot wire behind it.

  "Why isn't he moving?" Hernandez asked.

  "He's in shock, and if he doesn't have hypothermia between the blood loss and the cold, he's goddamn close." Nagle answered. "All right, roll him over and strip him naked. Use the knife to cut the rest of his jacket and shirt off."

  I could feel my boots being unlaced and pulled off, then my socks. My pants were pulled down, boxers and all. I could feel my jacket, the jacket Nancy bought me in Frankfurt when we went to Oktoberfest, and my Ratt shirt I'd gotten at the same place all being cut off of me.

  I was being picked up, cradled by strong hands, and I was staring at the ceiling again.

  "John, strip." Nancy ordered.

  "What? Why?" Bomber asked.

  "You're running a fever; I need you to help me warm him up." Nancy said, her voice brooking no argument. "Be some goddamn use, you inbred hick."

  "Hey..." John's voice sounded wounded as I was set down on something soft and warm.

  "Why isn't he blinking?" Carter asked. "It's really creepy."

  Nagle sighed, and I could hear her coming closer. Feel her coming closer.

  ...My Nancy...

  "Brain damage. I think." She paused, and her warm hand touched my face, closing my eyes. As soon as she let go, my eyes opened, and I was looking into her blurry face, framed by her auburn hair. "Get the medical tape, we need to tape his eyes shut."

  ...no, don't leave me in the dark...

  I felt burning hot legs next to mine, then someone radiating heat like a furnace lay down next to me, hair rubbing against my arm as a thick arm threw itself over my chest.

  ...you better be wearing boxers, fucker...

  Another body slid in next to me, and I felt it shiver. "Brrr, he's fucking freezing." A hand passed a roll of tape to a petite hand with blackened fingernails. The tape vanished, and I heard a tearing noise.

  Nancy's fingers brushed my eyes closed, and then medical tape covered them.

  "Is he going to be OK?" Hernandez asked.

  "He's the Ant, of course he will be." Bomber joked.

  "Bomber?" Nagle said, her warm breath tickling my cheek.

  "Yeah, Nagle?" I felt John shift.

  "Get your goddamn hand off my tit."

  John's laughter echoed in my head as I lay in the darkness.

  "I'll take first watch, you guys get some sleep." Hernandez said.

  "You get all the fun, baby." Nancy breathed in my ear, "I'm the one who wants to be sandwiched."

  Her words chased me down into darkness.

  Hold me, please…

  Dying in the arms of someone who

  loves me is more than I'd ever deserve.

  I was born to die in a ditch, not in her arms.

  Pain. Pain woke me up.

  My mouth throbbed, my head was a storm of agony, my shoulder was on fire, my ribs felt like they'd been caved in, and someone was moving my left arm, making my elbow grind and scream in pain. The lizard was frantically hitting the panic button, as confused as I was, half convinced we were lying at the bottom of the stairwell or being tortured. I was blind again, my eyes refusing to open.

  I tore my right arm out of the grip and swung it, hitting something soft but firm. A hand grabbed my wrist and pulled my arm back down. The entire joint was on fire, and I didn't know why.

  "Goddamn it, you pussies, hold him. I can't do this with him trying to grope my tits." A woman's voice snapped out. "Goddamn it, I wish I'd known it was dislocated."

  "Stay down, dammit, Stillwater." A man growled, and I bellowed as I snatched my arm out of the grip and swung again, hitting something solid. Someone cursed, and I dropped my arm down to my waist, fumbling for my knife. The hands grabbed my forearm, yanking my hand away, and pinning it to the floor.

  "Get the fuck off of me!" I roared, bucking, trying to get free.

  Trying to get Tandy off of me...

  "Hold still, Stillwater, I've got to set your elbow." Nancy said, and I felt a bare foot slide into my armpit. Two small hands had a hold on my wrist. "For fuck's sake, hold on to him, he's going to go berserk."

  There was a sudden yank, and my elbow flared. I screamed, kicked, fought to get loose, trying to get away. The deep fiery pain in my shoulder didn't matter, the dull throb in my elbow didn't matter, all that mattered was someone was hurting me and I needed to hurt them so I could escape. If I could get away I could find a den somewhere to curl up and heal before coming back to rip and smash and tear and kill and...

  I felt someone throw themselves across me, firm breasts pressing against my chest, and lips mash against mine. My head cleared up, and I remembered where I was.

  My Nancy...

  It hurt, fiery agony, but I wrapped my arms around her warm body and did my best to hug her, to hold her tight to me. The lizard joined me, holding onto her for dear life.

  "I love you." I managed to say, talking against her lips.

  "I know." She answered.

  ...Anthony, I love you!...

  "You gonna live, brother?" Bomber asked me. The hands let go of my legs.

  "I think I'm blind." I said. Nancy giggled against me, and then I felt her hands on my face, pulling something away that burned.

  Light burned into my eyes, and I winced, blinking at it.

  "Bright." I said stupidly.

  Nagle shaded my eyes, and her face slowly came into focus.

  "Blink for me." She said. I did, looking at her oddly. "Hey, don't laugh, we had to tape your eyes shut."

  "Get me up." I said, trying to push her off of me. "Get me on my feet."

  "Ant, no. You need to lay down." She held my face gently in her hands. "You have a soft spot on the back of your head."

  "Dude, you shouldn't even be alive." Carter said from beyond my sight. "We thought you were dead when we found you. He fucked you up good."

  I remembered the feeling of my Gerber sinking into his upper abdomen, the way I twisted it, and the way he spat blood into my face, and I grinned.

  "What's so funny." Nagle asked.

  "He's fucked." I answered. "I got him. Stabbed him under the ribs." I stared into her brown eyes. "I think I got his lung when I twisted the knife. Even if he's still alive, even if he takes us out, he's fucked."

  "Get me up." I told her. She bit her lip, and then shook her head.

  "Fine, but if you so much as wobble, you lay back down." She said, helping me sit up. I managed to not throw up or pass out, but my vision blacked out for a moment.

  Bomber was sitting next to me, his face covered in sweat, wearing a pair of BDU pants and a brown shirt. He had his arms crossed over his stomach and was rocking faintly back and forth mumbling to himself. I could hear Carter digging through the MRE's, bitching about the ones that were left. Hernandez was over changing the gas can on the stove, I could tell by the sound and the fact that his blob was browner than everyone else's that didn't have tits. Not as brown as Jacobs or Nagle, but browner than everyone else.

  "How you feeling?" She asked.

  "Thirsty." I told her. She smiled, went over and got a canteen, tipping it into my mouth.

 
The water tasted sweet.

  "We're out of MRE's." Carter said, coming back. "This is the last one."

  "Fuck. Ant and Bomber need the food. They're hurt pretty bad." Nancy said.

  The blob that was Carter made a motion that I assumed was a nod.

  "Who goes to get it?" Carter asked.

  There was a long moment of silence.

  "Can't one of you stuff in your fucking tampons for one goddamn minute? We have to do this or there's a good chance we'll starve to death before rescue." Nancy snarled.

  I could tell by the blurred movement that Carter and Hernandez turned away from her.

  "Fine, you assholes, I will." Nancy said, standing up.

  "I'll go with you." I said, trying to get up.

  "Lay back down or I'll kick you in your melon head." Nancy threatened. I held up a hand to placate her and laid back down on my back, watching Nancy turn into a blur.

  "Hernandez, want to go with me?" She asked.

  There was a frustrated sigh. "No, but I will." He answered.

  I watched the blur that was Nancy get dressed, finally putting on a parka.

  A rumble made the building shake.

  I squinted as Nagle and Hernandez moved up to the doors, Hernandez unlocking it and pulling them open.

  Outside the door, in the snow, was a half built snowman. Only the first two spheres set. The third, the smallest, was on the floor, with a blur on top of it.

  A form was bent next to it, bent over, an OD green blur.

  Nagle didn't say a word, just stepped forward, swinging the axe as the figure jerked up.

  It sounded like someone dropping a watermelon when the axe hit.

  Nagle shrieked, a high, triumphant sound, and kicked him off the axe. He pitched over backward as she straddled his body. She raised the axe, and he held his hands up wordlessly, his hands trembling as he begged her silently not to do it.

  Right before she brought the axe down between them.

  She planted her foot on him, yanking the axe free in a spray of feathers and blood.

  And hit him again.

  And again.

  And again.

  She yanked the axe free after at least a dozen chops, taking a step to the side and leaning on it, breathing heavily.

  "Fuck you and your snowmen." She snarled.

  In the End, There Was Only Each Other

  Alfenwehr was the only winner.

  We were just survivors.

  What was left of us

  in the dark and cold.

  Later that day Bomber took a turn for the worst, becoming delirious, crying out to his mother, babbling at his sister, and talking to his father. I was in constant pain, and had pissed blood several times. I had two seizures, one where I wet myself, during the night. All night Carter was silent, withdrawn, and refused to leave the light of the lantern. Hernandez hovered over the stove, practically snarling at anyone who came close. Jacobs had died in the night, quietly passing away while I was asleep. He'd never regained consciousness after the axe had hit him, and he'd been cold before we realized he was dead when Nancy went to change his IV. She'd cried for over an hour after she had covered his face with the blanket once Carter and Hernandez had moved him over by Lewis.

  During the night various people would knock on the door and demand, ask, or plead with us to open it. We'd often hear scratching outside the door. The wind screamed, sobs echoed through the room, and footsteps thudded above and below us.

  The next day I had another bad seizure, vomiting and losing control of my bladder and bowels during the grand-mal seizure. I was screaming in rage the entire time, the lizard hammering on the combat button, the panic button, everything he could to try to get me under control.

  I woke up to Nancy laying on my chest, crying in her sleep. Bomber was raving, and when I looked over I could blurrily see that he was restrained, tied down. He was yelling for fire support, for someone to give him covering fire, and I knew that he was reliving Operation Copper Window or Glass Parrot from earlier in the year.

  Hernandez bent over me, smiling, and reached down to check my pulse, putting his fingers on the side of my neck. His open, honest face blurred and warped, suddenly becoming the the man in the cold weather mask trying to strangle me.

  With a roar I reached for him, locking my hands around his neck. I ignored the burning pain in my shoulder, knowing that he had just stabbed me through the shoulder. I had to kill him before he killed the others. I rolled, ignoring the agony as my weight went across my right shoulder. Nancy shouted and I bore down on the figure, kneeing him in the balls and screaming at him.

  "I've got your ass this time, pumpkin!" I bellowed, ignoring his strikes on my arm, ignoring him trying to break my grip. Someone grabbed me by the neck, lunging backward, taking me with them, and breaking my grip on the killer's neck.

  My head bounced off the tile and the world vanished with a snap.

  "Run..." I whispered, "Dez, Nancy, run..." I began to cry, lost in the agony and darkness that suddenly comprised my entire world.

  "What the hell was that all about?" Carter asked. Someone else was coughing.

  "Hallucination," Nancy's voice was thick with something. Grief? Had Bomber died? Was I dead? "His skull is fractured and I think he's bleeding into his brain." I could feel boiling hot rain landing on my chest.

  Everything went dark for awhile.

  I woke up to Carter checking my throat. I knew it was him. I knew it was Carter, but the rage and hatred welled up in me again and I screamed in rage and lunged at him.

  "You're fucking mine!" I screamed. "You did it, I know you did it, Carter! I'll kill you for what you did to Bomber!" Someone had a hold of me, pulling me back down on the mattress. "Let me go, he's a fucking traitor! He did it!"

  "Anthony, please, it's Nagle," Nancy said, laying across me.

  "He killed Bomber and Nancy," I wept. "He killed Carter and Dez."

  "No, honey, that was Carter," Nancy tried.

  I kept weeping, my vision gone, and lost in the darkness and pain again. "No, it isn't. He killed Carter and is wearing his face."

  "Shh, Ant, shh," Nancy said, cradling my face in her hands and kissing me.

  Blackness took me again.

  I woke up to Nancy and others talking. I was awake but my eyes wouldn't open and I couldn't move. I could feel cloth restraints holding me down.

  "How is he?" Hernandez asked.

  "Dying, both of them are dying," Nancy sobbed.

  "Ant keeps attacking everyone," Carter said softly, "We had to tie him down."

  I tried to move, but nothing happened. It wouldn't matter whether or not I was tied down, my body was disconnected. The lizard had a panel open and was yanking on the wires and circuit boards, trying to get something, anything to respond to commands.

  "He attacked you, he was trying to kill you, Nagle," Hernandez said.

  "That's not him," Nancy sobbed.

  "Are you sure?" Hernandez asked. His voice was hoarse.

  "Yes," Nancy snapped, then sobbed for a moment, "He used to write me poetry, draw vines and flowers and fairies on the edges." She kept sobbing, "He'd never attack me." Her sobbing got stronger, "He's dying. He's dying and I can't do anything about it."

  "Nancy," I managed to say.

  "There he goes again. What's wrong with his voice?" Carter asked.

  "It's aphasia, what he's thinking and what he's saying get scrambled," Hernandez said, "My grandfather had it after his stroke."

  "Shit," Carter said. I heard a chair scrape.

  I could feel weight on my chest. I could smell it was Nancy, that scent of her hair, and the way her body smelled after a couple of days without bathing.

  "I'm here, baby, I'm here," She said softly. She began to sing to me, an old lullaby.

  The darkness pulled me back down.

  I woke up to Nancy riding me. I was able to open my eyes and see her in the dim light of the lantern. She was naked, sitting up straight, rolling her hips back and forth.
Her hands were in a triangle over her belly, her navel in the center.

  "Please, God, please," she was saying, looking up. I could see tears on her face, "Give me something of him, just a little something of him, to keep, if you're going to take him, please."

  Blackness took me again.

  I woke up to find my eyes taped shut again and unable to move.

  "Yeah, he's bleeding from his anus," Nancy was saying, "Goddamn it." It was silent for a moment. I tried to say something and managed to bite my tongue. "See what's going on with Stillwater."

  "He bit his tongue," Carter said. "I don't think he's entirely with us."

  "All right, come back, I'm going to need your help," Nancy said. "Hernandez, sterilize a knife."

  "What's going on?" Carter asked in the darkness. He put his hand on my forehead and I managed to make a low whimper and press my head against his hand. "I think Stillwater knows it's me."

  "John's belly is rigid, and he's leaking rotting blood and worse from his anus," Nancy said. She gave a short, harsh bark that could barely be called a laugh, "This is going to be ugly."

  "Here," Hernandez said, "What are you going to do?"

  "You two hold him, he's going to go berserk," Nancy said. Carter's hand vanished and I whimpered. The lizard was trying to get the panel off on another section of his workstation, trying to get something, anything to work.

  "I've got to relieve the pressure in his belly before it starts to suffocate him," She said.

  "Are you sure this is the right thing to do?" Carter asked.

  "No."

  John screamed long and loud, and the smell of raw feces and rotting blood filled the room. Someone gagged, and I felt a cool breeze as someone cracked the window.

  "It hurts, mommy, help me," Bomber sobbed quietly.

  "Give me that tube," Nancy said, "Hopefully this will drain the infection and the pressure. God, it stinks. I've got to apply pressure and see if I can force some of the infection out."

  "Oh God," Bomber screamed, "I'm not telling you Russian cocksuckers shit! I ain't! You can't fucking break me! I ain't telling you shit!" Bomber degenerated into just screaming for a long moment before he just started sobbing softly. "I ain't saying shit."