Misadventures in a Threesome

by Elizabeth Hayley

  Add in the fact that he got to include the joker next to him, and it had the trappings of being a perfect way to spend his day. Maddox glanced over at Wilder, who had his eyes closed tight, his breathing even and steady as they drove down the street toward home. The guy was a fucking handful, but Maddox wouldn’t change a single thing about him.

  “Mad?” Wilder asked, even though Maddox had been sure he’d been sleeping.

  “Yeah?”

  “Don’t let me forget about calling her Jazzy Scooter, okay? That nickname is gold.”

  A laugh rumbled through Mad’s chest. “I won’t, buddy.”

  Chapter Eight

  “Morning,” Jasmine said as she pulled open the door to Maddox’s truck and hopped up into the seat.

  “Shh,” came a soft voice from the passenger’s seat.

  “Good morning,” Mad said. “Don’t mind him.” He nodded toward Wild, who was leaning against the door with sunglasses on and a hat pulled down lower than would be considered normal. “He’s grumpy.”

  “I’m hungover.”

  Jaz laughed. “I thought you guys said Wilder doesn’t get hangovers?”

  “There’s a first time for everything,” Wild said.

  “Just face it,” Mad said. “You’re getting old. Your body fights back now when you beat up on it.” Maddox pulled down the street, and Jaz saw him glimpse at her in the mirror. Though she couldn’t see his mouth, the crinkle to his eyes told her he was grinning. He was baiting Wild, and even Jaz knew Wild would bite.

  “I’m not old. I’m only twenty-eight. You’re five years older than me.”

  “That just means both of us are old.”

  Wild let out an annoyed groan before tilting his head in Jaz’s direction and asking, “What do you think?”

  She thought for a moment before replying, “I think you’re both old now.”

  “You’re fired,” Wild joked before pulling his cap down even lower and announcing that there needed to be more sleeping and less talking for the remainder of the drive.

  The truck was quiet for a while with Maddox driving, Wild snoring softly, and Jaz listening to music on her phone. When she saw Maddox look back at her, she could tell he’d said something. She pulled her headphones out so she could hear him. “I’m sorry?”

  “I just asked what you packed for lunch.”

  “Oh, um, homemade chicken salad sandwiches, some peanut butter and jelly, and some fruit and stuff. I didn’t know what you guys would want, and I didn’t think to ask last night.” She leaned forward, craning her neck to see if Wilder was still sleeping. “Shouldn’t we be quiet? He looks like he’s still asleep.”

  “He’s not,” Maddox said confidently. “He’d still be snoring if he was.”

  “Really?”

  “I don’t snore,” came a groggy voice.

  Mad and Jasmine were silent for a moment before they both burst out laughing.

  “I thought I fired you,” Wild said, turning around to look at Jasmine, who was just now calming down. “Don’t you feel awkward going hiking with your previous employer?”

  Jaz smiled. “Not really.”

  “I rehired her while you were napping,” Mad said.

  “I hate you both.”

  Maddox put a hand on Wilder’s shoulder and squeezed, pushing his body back and forth. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

  “I may throw up if you keep doing that.”

  Stopping immediately, Maddox said, “Now that’s something I believe.”

  For the rest of the drive, they discussed the new classes at the gym that would begin this week, as well as the online registration site Jaz had managed to get up and running. Since she hadn’t started teaching classes yet, she had time during the day to find a program that would allow clients to register easily. Then they played the car game—an appropriately named competition, Wilder explained, that involved each person choosing a color and counting the number of vehicles they saw with that color. Maddox was currently in the lead with eight white vehicles, and Wild was in second with six black. Jasmine still had none.

  “Who picks yellow?” Wild asked when they pulled into a parking space at Canyon Falls a half hour later, officially putting an end to their game.

  Jasmine shrugged. “I like yellow.”

  She grabbed her backpack out of the back seat and put it over her shoulders. The men did the same, and before long, they were heading toward the trail the guys had recommended.

  “You seem like you feel better,” Jaz said to Wilder.

  “Yeah, not too bad. I slept a lot of it off. Just a little headache now, but it’ll pass.”

  Jasmine pulled her backpack off one shoulder and reached into the front pocket. Without explanation, she handed him the glass vial, knowing he’d most likely question what the hell it was. “This should help.”

  Wild looked at the small blue bottle she’d given him. “Uh, Jaz, we have a zero-tolerance drug policy at Transform…sooo I’m gonna have to let you go. Again.”

  “It’s not drugs,” she said with an eye roll. “It’s an oil for your headache. Just roll it over your forehead and your jaw if you feel tension there.”

  “What’s in it?” he asked, removing the cap and bringing it to his nose. “Doesn’t smell like cocaine.”

  “It doesn’t look like it either, you moron,” Maddox said. “That stuff really work?” he asked her. “Or is it just like a mind over body thing? I have a buddy whose wife is pretty into all that, but I don’t know much about it.”

  “Yeah, it really does work. There’s medical research to back it up and everything. I told you how I use it in yoga classes, but it’s a part of my life. I teach classes on them now. I’d be happy to show you how it all works sometime if you’re interested in natural alternatives to medicine and cleaning products and stuff. There’s a huge health benefit to them, and you could actually work them into the gym as a way to help people reach fitness goals or lose weight or detox. The possibilities are really endless.” Jaz had to stop herself from talking because she realized she was rambling, and once she started on a subject she was passionate about, it was difficult for her to keep quiet.

  “That’d be great,” Mad said. “I might have to take you up on that.”

  “Awesome, yeah, we’ll sit down one day, and I’ll show you everything.” She glanced over at Wilder, who still seemed to be deciding whether to put it on his skin. “It’s just peppermint,” she assured him. “I save the cyanide for people I don’t like.”

  Wild nodded cautiously but rolled the oil on his head before giving it back to her so they could continue walking. “Thanks,” he said. “Guess it can’t hurt.”

  Once again, she found herself in between the men, and she realized how comfortable she felt there—both of them by her side to talk to and to protect her if a bear or reclusive lunatic jumped out and tried to attack her. They continued on the trail for the next twenty minutes or so, climbing higher up the small mountain, which was thick with greenery.

  Finally, the trail narrowed so much they had to walk in a line, rather than side by side. Maddox took the front, with Wilder following behind him. For a moment, it felt strange to be trailing them rather than arm to arm like they’d been last night at the bar and for much of their walk so far. But she couldn’t have been happier when she noticed the view. And she wasn’t thinking about the beautiful trees or the way the rays of sun peeked through the leaves as it brightened the morning sky.

  Nope. She was talking about the perfect view of Mad’s and Wild’s asses. Even with their backpacks on, she could gaze at them—study them, even—without the guys noticing. She’d obviously caught glimpses of them when they’d been at the gym, but it wasn’t like staring at her bosses’ butts was an acceptable workplace behavior.

  “How ya doin’ back there, Scooter?”

  It took Jasmine a few seconds—and Wild turning around to face her—before she realized he was talking to her, but she immediately started laughing. Her reaction w
as more due to the nickname he’d unfortunately remembered than to her appraisal of him and Maddox, which she was sure he knew nothing about.

  “You remembered on your own.” Maddox laughed, sounding impressed. He kept walking, forcing the other two to keep going so they didn’t fall behind.

  “Yup, and it’s a good thing I did. You weren’t any help.”

  “I kinda figured Jaz wasn’t that fond of the name, so I was gonna let her off the hook.”

  “No way,” Wilder said. “Scooter’s a great name. It’s cute.” He turned around to face her again, walking backward as he gave her one of his signature grins that showed off his dimples. “Fits you perfectly. Now come on,” he said excitedly. “We’re almost to the top. You’ll love it.”

  Jasmine couldn’t disagree. She already loved it.

  For the next ten minutes or so, Maddox led them up the trail, stopping a few times to point out some poison oak and sumac, which Jasmine said she wasn’t familiar with. He liked teaching her a few things, and she seemed appreciative of the lesson. Wild, on the other hand, added to the moment by stating that he’d gotten poison ivy on his balls once and Jasmine would be smart to pay attention so the same thing didn’t happen to her.

  “She doesn’t have balls,” Maddox said.

  “Well, yeah. But she has…other parts that probably won’t feel good with poison anything on them either.”

  “Thanks, Doctor,” Mad said, making Jaz laugh.

  “I do appreciate you guys going with me, though. I don’t have the best sense of direction, so I probably would’ve wandered around until I found my car again. And I might’ve been covered in poison oak when I got back.”

  Maddox chuckled, but he couldn’t help thinking about Jasmine getting lost out here, her beautiful skin marred by something she could’ve avoided. Not to mention the fact that there were some animals out here that wouldn’t be fun to run into, especially by herself. It made his eyes wander to the brush surrounding them as they walked the rest of the quarter mile to the top. He stopped and pointed when he saw what he was looking for. He didn’t think he’d ever made it the whole trail without seeing one. “Snake,” he said.

  At some point during their journey, Jaz had found her way behind him again, probably when he was teaching her about the various plants. But now she was right on him, practically trying to climb him. If she could’ve found a way to get higher, Mad was certain she would have. He tried not to laugh at her fear, reminding himself that not everyone had experience in the wilderness. He also tried not to think about how good it felt to have her body pressed against his. But that was a futile effort. He was conscious of how close her mouth was to his ear. If she hadn’t been screaming in it, he would’ve been turned on. “It’s okay. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

  When Jasmine started ranting about how she hated snakes and they were disgusting creatures that were venomous, Maddox said, “I was talking to the snake. I think your squealing scared him.”

  Jaz tried to release her hold on him for long enough to smack him, but it only resulted in her pushing her fist into him until she gave up and opened her hand so she could take hold of him again.

  “It’s really okay,” he said, serious this time. “I don’t even know where it went.”

  “That’s more frightening than being able to see it.”

  “What you don’t know can’t hurt you,” Wild said.

  “That’s completely untrue,” Jaz yelled behind her. “You two just gave me a whole lesson on poisonous plants. And I saw an article not that long ago that snakes have been hiding in people’s pool noodles if they leave them out.”

  “She’s got a point.” Maddox walked a minute or so with Jaz on his back before she finally slid slowly down his back to the ground. It was probably the most action Maddox had gotten in a few months, and his body responded as such, immediately missing Jasmine’s body on his and her breath against his skin.

  Jaz was in awe when they finally got to the top of the trail. She stood near the edge of the canyon, taking in the view, which was probably several miles on a day as clear as this one. The small waterfall cascaded down to the bottom, where it pooled in crystal-clear water. The peacefulness seemed to permeate every cell of Maddox’s body as the three stood silently in the sun, a sheen of sweat on each of them from the humidity and the exertion of their hike. A soft breeze blew at their backs, and Maddox tried to remember the last time he’d felt this content.

  But the moment didn’t last long because Wild interrupted it with, “I think I have a tick in my ass.”

  Maddox and Jaz turned to where Wilder stood to their left, a hand down the back of his pants.

  “Seriously?” Mad asked. “Like in your ass or on it?”

  “On it, but in it, if that makes sense. I wouldn’t lie about something as serious as that.”

  “It’s not serious. It’s a tick. You’ll be fine.”

  “I need one of you to cut it out,” Wild said, an urgency to his voice that wasn’t there a few seconds ago. “It’s already engorged with the blood of my butt.”

  “That’s disgusting,” Mad said. “And I’m not going anywhere near your hairy ass. You’ll have to go to the doctor or something when we get back. I draw the line at picking bugs out of your private areas.” He was just teasing Wild because he knew it would get a rise out of him, and he seemed to be losing more and more of his composure as the seconds passed.

  Wilder opened his mouth to protest, but Jasmine cut him off before he could. “I’ll do it.”

  “No,” both Wild and Mad said in unison, though probably for very different reasons. “You won’t recover from this,” Mad added.

  “Hey,” Wilder said. “My ass isn’t some hairy thing she won’t recover from.” He looked to Jaz, his expression pleading with her to help him.

  Maddox shook his head at his friend. For a big guy, Wilder could definitely be a baby sometimes. He thought about how Wild never would’ve lasted in the military, but that fact wasn’t a recent revelation. On many occasions, Wilder had admitted that himself. The routine, the strict authority… Nothing about the military was in Wild’s wheelhouse. Maddox, on the other hand, had loved the training and brotherhood that couldn’t be replicated anywhere else. He’d thrived on it. That was, until he hadn’t. As much as the army had added to his life—made him become a better man—he’d lost pieces of himself to it too. He had seen things—had endured things—that he couldn’t forget no matter how much he wanted to. And those things had not only messed with him, they’d also fucked up one of the most important relationships he’d ever had.

  He’d never be able to forgive himself for what happened as a result of his inability to be the man he should’ve been when he’d returned to the States. It was why he’d vowed to himself that he’d never get involved with a woman again beyond something strictly physical. He was way too fucked up to contribute positively to a relationship. And up until now, he hadn’t wanted to. His interest in women had been limited mostly to physical attraction, and he’d never kept that a secret from anyone he slept with. He was always up front about his intentions.

  But something felt different with Jasmine. Not only was she attractive—incredibly so—she checked all of Maddox’s boxes. That was, if he had boxes he was looking to check. She knew how to work hard, but she knew how to have fun too. She was independent and motivated, and there was a light to her that allowed her to see the glass half-full, while Mad sometimes couldn’t even see a glass at all. He almost laughed out loud at the realization that Jaz was like the female version of Wild. Which, as scary as that was, explained why Maddox found himself drawn to her.

  Well, that and the fact that having her here meant it wasn’t Maddox who had to have his face near Wilder’s ass. Maddox felt so horrible for her. “I’ll do it,” Mad said, like it was more of a burden than it actually was. He’d seen much worse in the army than a tick in someone’s ass.

  He pulled out his Swiss Army Knife and began to open it, when Wild yelled,
“Wait, wait, wait! Let’s see what her way is first.” He looked at Jaz, his eyes pleading with her to go easy on him. “Does your way involve digging sharp objects into my skin?”

  “Nope,” Jaz replied, already looking through her backpack. Instead of removing something sharp to dig out the tick, she had a small bottle in her hand. She must’ve recognized Wild’s confusion, because she held up the bottle and said, “Peppermint oil.”

  “Again? Does my butt smell that bad?” Wilder asked, his pants low enough for Jaz to get to the tick.

  Maddox and Jasmine burst out laughing, and Jaz said, “No. Your butt is fine. Peppermint makes ticks crawl right out of your skin.”

  “Really? Cures headaches and removes ticks? That’s crazy.” Mad was intrigued, and against his better judgment, he moved closer to Wild’s bare ass. “I’m actually surprised it didn’t just crawl right out when it realized it was biting into your ass.”

  Wild ignored the comment and instead asked, “You’re filming this, right?”

  “No, I’m not filming it,” Maddox said. “There’s no way I’m gonna have a video of you with your pants down on my phone.”

  “But I need to see this, and I can’t because of the angle. Please,” he begged like a child asking for candy at the checkout line of a store. “You can delete it as soon as you send it to me. You’re gonna watch it anyway. What’s the difference if you film it too?”

  “Fine,” Maddox groaned, taking his phone out like the video was more of a hardship than it actually was. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen Wilder without clothes on, and unfortunately it probably wouldn’t be the last. When they’d first moved in together, Wild went weeks before he finally listened to Maddox when he insisted he stay clothed around him. The man slept naked and often didn’t feel the need to dress before making his way to the bathroom or to get a cup of coffee in the morning, insisting that if he didn’t care, why should Maddox.