Sword and Mirror

by Kate Grove

  “Katsu… eat,” Yuki murmured from his other side.

  Katsuo looked up to see people were yet to touch their food, and everybody looked at him. He started to eat, and the whole room became animated as everybody followed his lead.

  “This is definitely not my favorite part of being a daimyō.”

  “What is?” Ciara asked between two bites.

  Katsuo opened his mouth to reply then closed it. For a moment, he looked as if he was caught off guard.

  “You don’t know?” Ciara blinked at him in surprise.

  “I know I don’t like paperwork. But what my favorite part is about being a daimyō has never crossed my mind.”

  “Well, do let me know when you’ve found your answer.”

  “You ask the most curious questions, Ciara,” Yuki said, overhearing the conversation. “But I’m interested, myself. You’ll tell me next time I visit, yes?”

  “Are you leaving already?” Katsuo blurted out.

  Yuki looked at him calmly. “Why are you so surprised? You know I never linger in one place for long. I’m just waiting for Takeru to get back.”

  “I see. It was good to see you.”

  “I’m still here.”

  “I know, Gra-Yuki.”

  Katsuo had to catch up on the dreaded paperwork for the rest of the day while Ciara recovered. She managed to have an unpleasant run-in with Orihime after lunch. The woman was gloating over the fact that she had been invited to breakfast by Lady Yuki that morning.

  “At first glance, she seems strict, but she’s actually very kind once she gets to know you and takes a liking to you,” she was explaining excitedly. Ciara wasn’t sure if the monologue was directed at her or Orihime’s own entourage. She continued, sending a condescending look at Ciara. “Of course, you wouldn’t know.”

  “That’s true. I’ve never noticed she was strict,” Ciara replied.

  “Hmph!” Orihime snapped her fan shut with a clang. The sound was eerily loud. “At least I know who she is! Come on, let’s get out of here. I need some fresh air, free of annoying insects.”

  She marched away, her entourage in tow. Ciara looked after her, shocked at the elementary-school level insult. She snorted in amusement and shook her head, pushing away the unpleasant memory. In spite of this, a tiny voice piped up, demanding to know what Orihime knew about Yuki. Why was she better informed than Ciara?

  Funnily enough, she saw Yuki not long after the strange exchange with Orihime. Ciara was taking a stroll in the courtyard after lunch, and Yuki was heading down the path leading to the pagoda.

  “Yuki!” Ciara shouted. Her voice sounded loud in her ears, and both the guard and Yuki turned toward her. Oops.

  She hurried over to Yuki.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be so loud.”

  Yuki had a kind smile on her face, but it didn’t reach her eyes. It was off-putting for Ciara.

  “Did you need something from me?” she asked.

  “No, I was just happy to see you,” Ciara replied. “I wanted to thank you for taking care of me when we got back from…” She drifted off, looking to the side.

  “You already did,” Yuki said and put a hand on Ciara’s shoulder. “Come, let’s talk.” With that, she steered her toward the pagoda.

  “B-but—”

  “You look like you have plenty on your mind.”

  “But the pagoda. We can’t—I mean, I can’t go there.”

  “It’s all right,” Yuki chuckled. “You’re with me.”

  “Are you sure it’s okay?” Ciara asked, suspicious.

  Yuki nodded. “Don’t worry about it.”

  They walked down the path, passing the guard who offered a bow but didn’t question them. Ciara let out a small sigh of relief and followed Yuki happily. She liked the pagoda and didn’t have the chance to have a proper look the last time she had been there. Sneaking around didn’t make for a great sightseeing program.

  Yuki caught her staring at the building.

  “This pagoda had been here for generations. It was built before the castle.”

  “Really?” Ciara gasped. “That’s awesome!”

  Yuki smiled, ignoring the strange word, and continued. “It is dedicated to Benten, also known as Benzaiten. Have you heard of her?”

  “I heard she is a guardian of some sort?” Ciara sounded uncertain.

  “She is a goddess, associated with many things, including the arts, music, water, beauty, and so on,” Yuki explained. “And she is the guardian of my family. She rides a great white dragon.”

  Ciara mildly wondered if it was a Western or Eastern dragon then realized she was in Japan, so Yuki was probably talking about the slender Easter dragon with a long body.

  “Ever seen a white snake?”

  “Oh, yes, more than I ever wanted to! Ever since I’ve arrived here, they pop up left and right!” Ciara knew she was exaggerating. But only a little bit.

  “Interesting,” Yuki’s eyebrows rose before she continued. “White snakes are often associated with her. You see, under special circumstances, a snake can evolve and transform into a dragon.”

  Yep, she was definitely talking about an Eastern dragon.

  “So what does this all mean?”

  “Oh,” Yuki blinked, as if waking up. “Sorry, I got a little carried away! My family history is intertwined with Benten’s presence, you see. Anyway, what did you want to talk about?”

  Yuki picked a spot under a tree and sat down, patting the grass next to her. With a bit of difficulty, Ciara followed her lead. She sighed as she sat down.

  “Are you in pain?”

  “My muscles are a bit tender, but they’re getting better,” Ciara confessed then turned to face Yuki. “What do you mean what I wanted to talk about? You said to come talk.”

  “Well, you looked like you want to talk. Sometimes a listening ear is all we need.” Yuki said, before gently prodding: “What’s on your mind?”

  “Hmm… well…” Ciara tapped a finger to her chin. Should she tell Yuki? She was a cousin of Katsuo, possibly older by the way she talked and behaved. Maybe someone with her insight could help her.

  Yuki was waiting patiently for Ciara to gather her thoughts and talk.

  “I keep having these nightmares,” she blurted out in the end. She felt silly. After all, she was an adult. She could handle a nightmare or two. She took a deep breath before continuing. “They are getting worse. And they feel so… real.”

  “Do you want to tell me what they are about?” Yuki asked gently. All her attention was on Ciara. She didn’t laugh or mock her, instead, she was understanding.

  “I only remember flashes. I keep trying to get home. At first, it is just me, and a shadow chases me. It keeps getting closer, and I know that something terrible will happen if it catches me. And recently, Karen appears, too.”

  “Who is Karen?”

  “My cousin. She is a few years younger than me,” Ciara explained. “She lived with me while she attended… school. Anyway, I finally reach her, then the shadow splits and chases us both. We keep getting separated and trapped in a dark place, looking for each other and for a way home.”

  “Do you ever find the way home?”

  Ciara shook her head.

  “Lately, I end up at a cliff, alone. Then the shadow monster appears. It takes on the shape of a person, but I can’t see their features. It keeps getting closer, until—” Ciara voice hitched.

  “You fall off the cliff,” Yuki finished for her. Ciara nodded and shivered at the memory.

  “It all feels too real not to be true. Like a bad omen.”

  Yuki hugged her.

  “I know it seems scary, but… don’t forget you have Katsuo.”

  Ciara glanced up at her, question in her eyes.

  “Really?”

  “Of course. You’re his bride. He’ll protect you. Whatever may come, you can count on him,” Yuki promised. “And if it turns out it’s nothing more than just a nightmare, all the better.”
/>   “Thanks, Yuki.”

  “You are welcome,” she replied, squeezing Ciara.

  Ciara closed her eyes and sighed. She felt as if she was brought back in time when she was a child; feeling safe and protected in her mother’s embrace. She let the illusion wash over her as she hugged Yuki back.

  The other woman didn’t know that the engagement was fake. Even though, Ciara desperately wanted to believe Yuki’s words about Katsuo.

  38

  Focus, Katsuo, focus! he silently reprimanded himself when he read the same paragraph for the fifth time and still couldn’t comprehend it. His thoughts weren’t there. His kokoro1 was in a turmoil.

  He was reading the reports on his fiefdom’s income, listed by products, when suddenly, he remembered Ciara’s limp body in his arms as life faded from her. Her face pale, her neck bleeding as he sprinted through town to reach the castle.

  Katsuo cried out in frustration and threw the paper down. He picked up another. This time, he reached the koku2 taxes when his mind showed him the image of Ciara lying in his arms. She was alive and healing, sleeping peacefully next to him. Then they kissed.

  “Damnit!” He threw the papers at the door just as a knock sounded.

  “Who is it?”

  “It’s me, brother.” There was a moment of silence as Takeru thought through his options. “Is this a bad time?”

  “Come on in,” Katsuo said. He had a feeling that there wouldn’t be a better time that day anyway.

  Takeru slid the door open and stared at the stack of papers scattered at his feet.

  “What’s this? Are you all right, brother?” He squatted down to gather the documents and closed the door behind him. “Katsuo?”

  “What is it?”

  “I’ve asked if you’re feeling all right,” Takeru repeated as he sat down in front of him.

  “I just can’t concentrate today,” he admitted. “Tell me you have news.”

  “Actually—”

  “Oh, you’ve just got back from the border! How is everything? Are you unharmed?”

  Amusement danced in Takeru’s eyes.

  “Nice of you to notice. I’m back, yes,” he chuckled. “You really are distracted. May I ask what happened while I was away?”

  “Well… Ciara got kidnapped, and she was almost killed.”

  Takeru’s eyes got as big as lanterns at the unexpected news.

  “Is she all right?”

  “Yes, she is, considering. She’s healing fast.”

  Takeru sighed in relief. “Thank Benten! I was worried. Did you save her?”

  Katsuo nodded.

  “So what’s the matter?” Takeru focused on his brother’s face. He frowned. “What happened to your hair?”

  “That was the price I paid for saving her.”

  Takeru couldn’t help a smile.

  “There’s not a lot of someones I’d cut my hair for. I’m proud of you, brother.”

  A growl of frustration escaped Katsuo’s lips.

  “What got you so riled up? You killed the bastards and saved her, right? That’s what matters.”

  “You have the uncanny ability to find the sore spots, do you know that?” Katsuo asked, narrowing his eyes at his little brother.

  “What?” Takeru was lost. “Please elaborate, because I don’t understand.”

  “The culprit got away.”

  “What? How?”

  “I got his underlings. I think Taiki collected them afterward. We’ll see if we’ll get anything useful out of them. But I let their leader escape.”

  “Why?”

  “Ciara was on the brink of death,” he replied. “She was more important at that moment.”

  A small smile appeared in the corner of Takeru’s mouth. He looked as if he knew something his brother didn’t, and this bothered Katsuo to no end.

  “Say what you want, little brother.”

  “Let me see if I understand correctly. You let a dangerous criminal escape to save Ciara’s life?”

  Katsuo nodded.

  “Then let me ask you this. Why did you decide to do so? Why is Ciara’s life more important to you?”

  “I—” Katsuo fell silent as he thought about it. He remembered the gripping fear when it seemed Ciara might not make it and would possibly die in his arms. He recalled the tension when the healer patched her up and said she’d live if she woke in the next few hours.

  He remembered the relief when Yuki told her Ciara had indeed woken up during the night and seemed better. He fell asleep looking at her resting in the bedding across from his. Then he recalled when he heard her sweet voice when she accidentally mixed up the futons and wrestled for his cover. His heart squeezed when she woke up screaming in the early morning hours. He was prepared to slay anything, anyone that was hurting her. He even got rid of the dagger underneath his pillow for the first time in a decade.

  And the peaceful feeling in the morning when he woke up with her resting in his arms, that was something he would cherish forever.

  “So?” Takeru prodded, shaking him out of his reverie. Katsuo looked at his brother, baffled.

  “I think I like her.”

  Takeru laughed out loud at that.

  “You think you like her?” he echoed. “This is more than that and you know it, brother. Go for it.”

  “What?”

  “I haven’t seen you like this since… ever. Not even when you were last engaged,” Takeru said carefully.

  “This is only a fake betrothal,” Katsuo reminded him.

  “But do you want it to be?”

  Ciara was used to breakfasts with Katsuo’s most important vassals in the conference room, and she expected the dinner that night would be similar. But this was different. A feast had been prepared for Takeru’s safe return from the borders, and Ciara suspected everybody from the castle had showed up. It was messy and loud, and plenty of sake was spilled as the night went on and more people got drunk.

  She sat at the dais, in her usual spot on Katsuo’s right. Takeru was on his other side, followed by Yuki who was content to let the spotlight shine on Takeru tonight. There was plenty of food, and Katsuo even urged the servants to join them in the celebrations, which they did but dutifully made sure everyone had what they wanted, whether it be food or sake.

  The later the night, the louder the bunch of samurai. Some walked up to the dais and chatted with their lord, while others tried to sweet-talk Lady Yuki, who was amused at the situation but wouldn’t give her attention to anyone for long.

  After their bellies were full, some samurai drew Takeru away from the dais and insisted he drank with them. Poor boy had been lost in the sea of people, and Ciara looked after him with worry.

  “Shouldn’t you stop them?” she whispered to Katsuo when there was a brief break between his vassals coming up to him. He leaned to the side, closer to Ciara.

  “It’s all right.”

  “But he’s just a boy. How old is he? Eighteen? I’m not sure he should be drinking this much alcohol…”

  “He’s already over twenty and has seen many battles. He can hold his sake,” Katsuo said proudly.

  “Hmm…” Ciara quietly sipped her own drink. It tasted sweet, and she was sure it was made from a fruit. She quickly got distracted trying to figure out the ingredients. She sniffed at the golden liquid.

  “What are you trying to do?” Katsuo’s amused voice reached her ears. She looked at him with a most serious expression on her face.

  “I’m trying to determine what drink this is.”

  “Let me…” Katsuo leaned toward her to take a closer look. Ciara froze for a moment as she was suddenly reminded of this morning when he unexpectedly kissed her. Her cheeks colored at the memory, but she was sure it was partly because of the alcohol.

  “It’s called umeshu.”

  “U-me-shu,” she repeated, slowly. Then she downed the contents of the small cup in one go. Katsuo’s eyes widened at that.

  “It’s really nice! What’s it made of? Ri
ce, like sake?”

  “Plums,” he replied, still shocked at how she drank it in one go.

  “It’s good. Yura—” Ciara turned around to look for the girl.

  “My lord—” At that moment, one of Katsuo’s vassals appeared at the dais, wanting to exchange some words with him. By the time they had finished, Ciara had disappeared from his side.

  1 heart, spirit, mind

  2 1 koku is considered 1 person’s sufficient rice supply for a year (about 180 liters); a daimyō’s wealth is determined by how many koku his territory can produce

  39

  Most of his guests were passed out in the conference room, as was usual after a celebration. His family had probably headed back to their own quarters, but there was a nagging thought that he should check on Ciara. Katsuo went to her room but found it empty. Her futon was prepared and creasy.

  Katsuo was distracted when he realized he was thirsty and headed for the stores for more sake. As he was walking across the inner courtyard, he realized there was a feminine figure sitting on the edge of the veranda. Moonlight shone down on her, bathing her in a silver light. Katsuo thought for a moment he was seeing the patron goddess of his family.

  He rubbed his eyes, thinking he might’ve drunk a bit too much. He held his liquor better than most men, so sometimes it was hard to draw the line. When he looked up next time, the moonlight was half-blocked by a dark cloud, and he realized he wasn’t looking at an apparition but Ciara sitting there.

  After the initial surprise wore off, he immediately walked over to her. She looked up at his quiet footsteps and offered him a smile.

  Goddess, she was beautiful!

  “What brings you here?” she asked.

  “I’m thirsty.”

  “I think I can help you with that.” She winked and conjured a bottle from somewhere behind her. “Here.”

  “Thanks,” Katsuo sat down next to her, keeping some distance between them. He sampled the drink and a smile appeared on his face as he looked at Ciara. “I see, so that’s why you escaped. You’ve run out of umeshu!”

  “Maybe,” she replied. At that moment, the clouds had moved, and the moon became visible again. Ciara gazed up as she was once again enveloped by silver light. “It’s gorgeous.”