Deep in Your Shadows

by Darien Cox

  Myles pulled back, his mouth releasing Christian’s cock. Christian cursed as Myles stood.

  “Part of it,” Myles said, peeling his own tee shirt off. His face was flushed, pupils dilated. “Turn around,” he said as he unbuttoned his jeans.

  Christian turned and faced the sink, placing his hands on the counter, his heart hammering in his chest. “Your fantasy was to arrest me?”

  “No.” He heard Myles’ jeans hit the floor, then the sound of plastic tearing. Myles’ sheathed cock was there suddenly, resting against the crack of Christian’s ass. His arms wrapped around Christian, hugging him as he had earlier, hands stroking his belly. He sucked Christian’s earlobe, then whispered, “When I pulled those leather pants down I wanted to suck you until you were panting then turn you around and fuck you up against the wall.”

  “Oh shit,” Christian hissed. “Will the counter do?”

  Myles’ hand slid down and gripped Christian’s cock. “I imagined grabbing you just like this...” Christian felt a cold drip as Myles spread some lube over his ass, then worked his fingers against his hole. “Then jerking you off while I fucked you senseless.”

  Christian pushed back against the intruding fingers as they slipped inside, and Myles’ grip on his cock tightened. “Show me, Myles,” he huffed. “Just how you wanted it.”

  Myles used his chest to ease Christian’s body down, bending him at a slight angle over the sink. Christian held onto the countertop as Myles’ fist started pumping his cock. “Like this,” Myles said, stroking him hard. “And like this.” He sank into Christian from behind.

  “Myles...Jesus...” Myles had only entered him halfway. But as the pumping hand on Christian’s cock ignited his arousal, he pushed back, trying to take in more.

  “Stop moving,” Myles released Christian’s cock then bit down on his neck. He let go and licked the same spot. “You’re mine right now. My fantasy. Let me control it.”

  “Okay,” Christian huffed.

  Myles’ arm wrapped around Christian, hugging him tight as his cock slid home. He thrust up into him again and again, kissing and biting Christian’s shoulder. His hand slid down Christian’s belly again and took hold of his cock, stroking slowly as he worked against him, nearly lifting Christian off the floor with one hard thrust.

  Christian clenched, groaning, too many pleasures overwhelming him. His cock, his sweet spot inside, and his mind, because Myles was blowing it. Myles’ mouth clamped down on Christian’s neck, sucking tenderly. The rhythm came together like a symphony as Myles changed to slow, hard fucking, his palm squeezing and stroking Christian’s cock-head.

  “Just relax and let me take you there,” Myles breathed against his neck. “Don’t worry gorgeous, I’ll make you come.”

  Christian’s mouth hung open as he let Myles’ voice wash over him, accelerating the pleasure happening everywhere. He relaxed his body and let Myles control it. It felt amazing. He loosened and spread his legs, feeling every ridge moving inside him, the undulant pressure working his cock dizzying.

  “Oh God...ah...” Christian’s orgasm started deep as Myles thrust into his ass, so deep inside, a sharp blast that tore through him like a tidal wave. Then he was lost, too much pleasure all at once, breaking through and flooding his senses, no choice but to let it happen. The cock shoving into him, the fist jerking him harder, Myles’ teeth on his shoulder, all detonating an ecstasy bomb that led to multiple aftershocks as his body was expertly manipulated until the sweet, final tremor.

  Christian’s forearms slammed onto the sink edge as he collapsed forward. He was only barely aware that he’d sprayed the cabinet and coated Myles’ hand with his explosion. Only barely aware that Myles had come too at some point, his chest heaving where it rested on Christian’s back. Only barely aware of his own name, until Myles said it.

  “Christian.” It was a soft, reverent sound, and it made Christian’s heart ache.

  Christian couldn’t speak so he groaned.

  “You all right?” Myles straightened, his cock sliding out, then his hands rested on Christian’s shoulders.

  Christian straightened his back with effort, his thighs trembling. He tugged up his jeans then turned to face Myles. “That was...unexpected.”

  “Yeah. For me too. I guess...at least I waited until after dinner?”

  Christian laughed, and Myles smiled.

  “I better go get cleaned up.” Myles hiked his jeans up and headed to the bathroom.

  Christian glanced at the cabinet, and down at himself. “Yeah. Cleaned up. Probably a good idea.” He shook his head, grinning. “Damn.”

  After Christian had gotten himself and his kitchen cleaned up, he made them another martini, then sat with Myles out back in the screened-in porch, cozied up on the glider seat. Christian’s house was located on the back end of the lake and the rear yard faced the forest, which really came alive in the summer with crickets and other night sounds. It was serene and peaceful to be sitting there with Myles, music playing softly, Cuervo resting on the wooden floor in front of them. It felt absolutely, deliciously normal.

  Myles shifted sideways and leaned against the back of the glider with his martini, his eyes on Christian. His gaze kept trailing over him, like he was trying to memorize his features, and for the first time, Christian really felt it. Myles really did have feelings for him. It wasn’t just sex. The way Myles looked at him made Christian feel almost shy. “So,” Christian said.

  “So.” Myles smiled. “We already had sex. Guess this is where we see if we have anything else to talk about.”

  “If we don’t, we can always have sex again.”

  “Well, I did pack an overnight bag,” Myles said. “It’s in the car.”

  “You little whore.”

  “I’m not little.”

  Christian laughed. “No, you’re not.”

  “So tell me this,” Myles said. “You said you started working for...whoever when you were fifteen. So what does that leave me in terms of conversation? What can I ask you about your past?”

  “Oh.” Christian’s mood sank. “I hadn’t thought about that being such a barrier for us.”

  Myles shrugged. “I like who you are now. That’s really all that matters. I’m just curious about you.”

  “Because of your job and the village.”

  “Not right now. Right now I’m simply curious about you because I like you.”

  Christian warmed. “I’m glad. I like you, too.”

  Myles sipped his martini, his expression warm and contented. “What kind of kid were you? Before, I mean.”

  “Before I started working for the military?”

  Myles nodded.

  “Oh. Um...smart. But not very well-behaved.”

  Myles snickered.

  “Surprising, right? But I was happy. Loved my mother and she loved me. Then she died.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too. She was killed by a drunk driver. I wonder a lot what she’d think of me now.”

  “Who did you live with after she died?”

  Christian traced a line of condensation on his glass, frowning. “I lived on the street.”

  Myles eyed him skeptically for a moment, then his eyes softened when he realized Christian was serious. “Wasn’t there anyone willing to take you in?”

  “It was just the two of us. They wanted to put me in foster care. But I knew a couple kids in foster care and they said it was a nightmare. So I disappeared. Made my own way.”

  “How did you end up working for the military then?”

  Blinking slowly, Christian sighed. “I can’t really talk about that.”

  “That’s all right. Can you talk about your life since you got to the village? You must have things here that matter to you outside your...work.”

  Christian smiled. “Made the best friends I’ve ever had since coming to the village. They’re my family.”

  Myles nodded. “JT?”

  “Uh huh. JT’s one of them.”

 
“You two dated.”

  Christian’s eyes widened. “How did you know about that? It was a long time ago.”

  “Small town. Sorry, did I overstep?”

  “Nah.” Christian shrugged. “It’s fine. It’s not a secret or anything.”

  “I’ve witnessed a lot of kindness and generosity from JT,” Myles said. “He’s a good guy. I can understand why you’d still be friends.”

  “JT was my first love,” Christian said, then chuckled. “My only love, actually. I’ve dated other people but it’s never gotten that serious.”

  “Oh.” Myles swirled his drink. “That’s some stiff competition for me.”

  “JT’s not competition.” Christian smiled. “He’ll always be in my life. And he is important to me. But we’ve both grown into different people. It’s just fortunate we still like the people we’ve become. But the romance is long over.”

  “Is he...is he James?”

  Christian flinched. “Oh. My tattoo.”

  Myles nodded.

  “Oh, boy.” Christian set his drink down.

  “What? Did I step into secret territory again? Is JT part of...your work life?”

  “No!” Christian said quickly. He had to tread carefully here. But he felt he could trust Myles with a certain aspect of the truth. “JT has his own secrets. You can’t ever associate him with that name. Yes, he is James. But there’s a reason he doesn’t use that name.”

  “All right. I wasn’t trying to be nosy.”

  Christian grinned. “You were just nosy when it came to my past, right?”

  “I still am. But I told you, I’ve agreed to take it for what it is.”

  But how long will that be enough for you? Christian bit back the words. Instead he asked, “What about you? Ever been in love?”

  “Sure. When I was younger. Things got complicated when I went into criminal justice, became a sheriff. My old job in New Hampshire, it wasn’t like here. I was always being scrutinized. Watched. And I wasn’t out at first.”

  “Really? You weren’t out? That’s surprising. You seem pretty comfortable with yourself.”

  “It’s easy to be in the village. Not so much back home. I came out three years ago. I was still working in New Hampshire. I thought it would stop the rumors and make life easier for me. Didn’t happen that way.”

  “That sucks.”

  “Yeah.” Myles took a deep breath and let it out. “My friends and colleagues said I shouldn’t care what anyone thought, what they said about me. That I should be above it and tough it out. But being gay had made life tough for so long, even before that. I wanted a change. A chance to be happy. Some saw that as weakness. But I felt no need to prove my toughness. It wasn’t that I couldn’t handle it. I just didn’t choose to.”

  Christian nodded. “It says a lot about society that the pursuit of happiness is considered weakness. Like if you’re not miserable and fighting against the tide you’re not doing it right.”

  “Yes, exactly.” Myles smiled. “You’re smarter than you look.”

  “Ha, I’ve thought about this too. Being in the village for so long, where everyone knows me, accepts me. I think it’s spoiled me to some degree. I’ve been insulated. I can’t imagine having to live someplace where who I am isn’t acceptable. I sometimes forget those places exist, though I know they do. The horrors in the news are a stark reminder.”

  “Oh, homophobia is alive and kicking out there, trust me,” Myles said. “But after being here two years, I know it was the right decision. I didn’t come here to hide, as some people intimated. I came here to live. To really live my life, you know?”

  “Yeah.” Christian smiled. “I’m glad you’re happy here. It means you’ll probably stay around awhile.”

  Myles chuckled. “I have a lot of reasons to stay around.”

  “Am I one of them?”

  “You are now. Though you used to be one of my biggest challenges as a sheriff.” He laughed, kicking Christian’s ankle.

  Christian beamed. “Well, it might be a good sign. JT and I fought like wildcats too when we first met.”

  “I see. So I wasn’t the only one graced with experiencing your...more difficult side.”

  “No.” Christian chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m afraid a lot of people have been graced with that side of me over the years. When I met JT, he was this quiet, introspective nerd, and I was always screwing around and being obnoxious. He called me ‘toxic and disruptive’. Said he couldn’t concentrate when I was around, and asked me to keep my distance from him whenever possible.”

  “So what changed?”

  Christian shrugged. “I didn’t like him either at first. But when I got to know him better, I fell in love with him. Surprised the shit out of me. Hit me so hard it hurt, and I couldn’t bear it. So I basically put all of my effort into changing his mind.”

  “Sounds familiar.” Myles shifted. “I mean...the changing his mind part. Not the...falling in love part.”

  “I did kind of push myself on you, didn’t I?”

  Myles smiled. “You did. But I didn’t fight too hard, did I?”

  “You fought a little. But I like what happened when you finally gave in.” Christian’s eyes trailed over Myles. “Especially what happened in the kitchen earlier.”

  Myles’ sunburned skin pinked up a notch. “I’ve found I don’t have a lot of self-control when it comes to you.”

  “You say that like it’s a bad thing. I’m not complaining.”

  “It’s not a bad thing. It thrills me, it’s just...” He hesitated. “Fast.”

  “Okay, but is it too fast for you?”

  Myles shrugged. “I don’t know yet.”

  “You’re afraid we’re gonna crash. That we’re moving so fast we’re gonna slam into a wall and get hurt.”

  “It’s occurred to me, yes.”

  “If I could slow it down I would,” Christian said. “But I honestly haven’t felt this way about someone since...JT.” He winced, wondering if he’d said too much. If he was making things worse. Myles had just said he was wary of the pace they were moving. And Christian responded by comparing him to JT, a man he’d just confessed to falling deeply in love with.

  But the statement didn’t appear to make Myles anxious. He looked slightly stunned, but moved closer to Christian, setting his drink down. His fingers stroked Christian’s thigh, eyes cautious but soft. “Let’s go to bed.”

  When they reached the bedroom, they undressed quietly in the dark. Slipping under the sheet, they found each other, slowly kissing and touching, exploring. Christian took his time, gliding up and down Myles’ body, using his mouth to memorize every inch, taking in the taste of his skin, the scent of him in hidden places. Myles reciprocated, licking Christian from head to toe, tongue probing the tender flesh of his sac, until Christian was ready to explode.

  When Myles finally climbed back up and pressed his body and down on Christian, spreading his thighs and gliding against him, they both came on each other’s stomachs, mouths locked together. Despite his determination to slow down, to not scare Myles away, Christian gasped in the moment of orgasm and blurted out, “I need you. Need to keep you, Myles.”

  Myles held Christian in his arms as they came down, kissing his temple. “I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered. “Long as you keep being honest with me.”

  “I’m as honest as I can be.” He lifted his head and looked at Myles, brushing his sweaty hair back from his forehead. “Is that gonna be enough?”

  “I hope so,” Myles said, but his eyes shifted away. “Because I want to keep you too.”

  Christian toyed with the hair on Myles’ chest, resting his head back on the pillow. “What’s your biggest concern?” he asked softly.

  “That your job is putting people in danger,” Myles said. “I can’t tolerate that, no matter how I feel about you.”

  “It’s not,” Christian said. The words felt like a lie, and he was hesitant to say them. But he was lingering in post-coital bliss
, and his heart was telling him to keep Myles close, no matter the cost. “I promise,” he said. “Everything’s going to be all right.”

  Myles was quiet for a time, and Christian thought he’d drifted off. But then he spoke. “I want to trust you.”

  Christian snuggled into him. “Then do.”

  Myles sighed and pulled him close. “All right.”

  Christian drifted off to sleep, not caring that they were both still wet and sticky. Not caring if his reassurances were the truth or not. He had Myles. And because of that, he made himself believe the words he’d spoken.

  That everything would be all right.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Christian was dragged from blissful slumber by the sound of knocking. Or rather pounding. He sat up and noted Myles’ leg slung over his. Myles twitched slightly when Christian wriggled out from under him, but his breathing remained slow and steady. Taking a moment to smile down at his sleeping form, Christian leaned down and kissed Myles’ scruffy cheek, then scrambled out of bed, throwing on some sweats before hurrying to the door. Cuervo wasn’t barking, which meant it was someone she knew well.

  Unable to find his phone, Christian still knew it was the ass-crack of dawn by where the sun hung in the sky, lazy orange rays stretching across the floor as he padded barefoot to the door. Cuervo stood at the door, wagging her tail, and Christian spotted Elliot’s face through the window. He knew right away this wasn’t going to be a fun conversation. Elliot wore his ‘I’m about to make your life difficult’ scowl.

  Christian opened the door. “What are you doing here?” he whispered.

  “I need to talk to you about the shit going on at the marina. Have you even been down there?”

  “Keep your voice down. I haven’t been to the marina since yesterday, our exalted leader suggested we’d just get in the way. What’s the matter?”

  “Can you tear yourself away from your love nest?”

  “Now?” Christian grimaced, scrubbing his sleep-rumpled hair with his fingers. “Couldn’t this wait? And why didn’t you call?”

  “You weren’t answering your phone.”

  “Oh, right. I think I left it outside.”