Trouble in Disguise

by Sonia Stanizzo

  The knock sounded again, and a muffled voice called through the door. “Jade, open up.”

  Nate. She’d told him she wouldn’t be home. Why would he come over?

  She wasn’t emotionally prepared to see him. Or dressed for that matter. How could she open the door and pretend her life was wonderful when every time she looked at him her heart died a little? If she ignored him, he’d think she wasn’t home then leave.

  “Jade, open up. Why are you just standing there?”

  What the hell? That door was solid timber; did he have x-ray vision?

  Then she saw a dark silhouette at her window. She’d forgotten to close the blinds, and he had his hands to the glass, peeking through the venetians.

  Crap! Now she had to let him in.

  She trudged to the door and opened it. Nate stood on the veranda wearing faded jeans and a gray t-shirt that clung to his chest. His hair was a little tousled, and he was sporting some sexy afternoon stubble. He held a pizza, and her mouth watered. But not because of the cheesy aroma coming from the box.

  Frowning at her, he said, “Were you ignoring me?”

  Jade nibbled her bottom lip and shook her head. “No.”

  A dubious eyebrow rose. “Yes, I think you were.”

  She capitulated at his suspicious perusal. “Only because I look like a mess.” She pointed to the chocolate stain on her Bugs Bunny pajamas. And because my heart can’t cope. But she kept that to herself.

  “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. You seem to wear a lot of your food.” He smirked, referring to the mess on her shirt when he came to the school for the first time. Thankfully, he’d bought her excuse.

  “How did you know I was home?” she asked.

  “I didn’t for sure. It was getting late, I didn’t think you’d be with Ava all this time.”

  Jade averted her gaze for a beat, hoping her face didn’t give away the lie.

  “I bought a pizza and took my chances. Am I going to stand outside all night, or can I come in?” he asked.

  She moved away from the door and gestured for him to enter. “Put the box on the coffee table. I’ll get napkins.”

  In the kitchen, she took a moment to take a few deep breaths. She hadn’t planned on seeing Nate tonight. And now that she wasn’t teaching at school anymore, she had no reason to see him again. She was hoping the old saying out of sight out of mind would kick in. How was she supposed to forget him when he showed up at her door with pizza? A hot guy with food was too good to turn down.

  After a few moments to calm her racing heart, she found napkins and went back into the living room. Nate sat on the couch with the remote in his hand. He’d turned the TV back on.

  “She’s in love with a vampire?” he asked. “What kind of dumb show is this?”

  Jade held a hand to her chest. “Don’t criticize a classic.”

  “You watch this?”

  “And love it. So be careful what you say,” she playfully warned.

  Laughing, he turned the TV off and opened the box of pizza.

  Jade sat in an armchair on the opposite side of the coffee table to Nate, not trusting herself to sit too close. The closer he was, the more her body wanted to climb all over him, and that would not help in her crusade of forgetting him. When he left, so would all the feelings she had for him. It would be that simple. It had to be, or she’d collapse in a heap.

  For now, she’d enjoy the pizza and pretend it was only friendship between them. Well, it was on his part. So as long as she kept it that way on her end, she’d eventually believe it. Yeah, right.

  They sat in silence as they devoured the first few slices. Then Nate wiped his mouth with a napkin, slumped back on the couch, and said, “Jade, what’s wrong?”

  Jade still had a bite of cheesy goodness in her mouth. At the moment nothing was wrong. How could there be when she was eating her favorite food? She pointed to her mouth to show she couldn’t speak.

  He waited for her to finish and asked again before she could take another bite. Sneaky.

  “The problem is, there isn’t enough cheese,” she answered.

  “That’s because you’re wearing most of it on your top.” He pointed to her chest. “I swear you need a bib when you eat.” He laughed.

  Jade scooped up the melted mess with her finger and scraped it on the edge of the box. “I was saving it for later.”

  He laughed harder.

  God, she would miss that sound. No, don’t go there. Just enjoy the night like two friends. Only friends. She needed to keep reminding herself.

  When he stopped laughing, he pinned her with a searching stare. “I know something is wrong, and it’s not the cheese.”

  He got off the couch, walked around the coffee table, and squeezed down next to her in the large chair. Their legs touched from hip to knee, and her body grew tingly and warm. She tried shuffling away as much as she could to put space between them, but he slid his arm over her shoulders, anchoring her on the seat.

  Placing a finger under her chin, he turned her face to him. “You can talk to me.”

  He’d said the same thing in the hall earlier in the day. She’d avoided telling him then what was on her mind. But with the way his gaze watched her with concern she wanted to give him something.

  “I’m feeling a little sorry for myself. It’s nothing to worry about.”

  “Why are you feeling sorry for yourself? Is it because the music lessons are continuing? I told you’d I’d stop them—”

  “No, it’s not that. Well, a small part of it is. But I want the kids to have the lessons. I’m sad I can’t be part of it.”

  “But there’s more,” he prompted.

  Ava had said Jade couldn’t hide her emotions, but hopefully she could mask what she was feeling with him. To stop any signs of her love showing, she chanted in her mind: Just friends. Just friends. Good friends. Friends with benefits. No! Not friends with benefits.

  With his hand brushing in circular motions over her shoulder, she was finding it hard to concentrate. She again tried to wiggle away, but he held on tight.

  “My best friends are married with wonderful husbands. They’ve both had beautiful, healthy babies, and I’m a little envious. They have it all. And all I’ll ever have is Dorito, who I love, but it’s not the same as my own human family.”

  “You can have all that too.”

  “I can’t. The curse—”

  “Let go of that damn curse and you will find love. Some guy would be lucky to have you and never leave.”

  Some guy. Not Nate. Her heart dropped to her stomach. If there was one man she would maybe take the chance with, it would be Nate, but he didn’t want to be that guy.

  “I wish it could be me,” he whispered.

  Wait…did she say that out loud? Or were her feelings, which she’d tried to hide, written all over her face?

  He removed his arm from around her shoulders, shifted in the chair, and wiped the palms of his hands on his jeans. “Mike has been nagging me to get back to New York. We’ve been working on some music he wants to record before we head out on tour again.”

  “When do you leave?” She could tell by his solemn expression he wasn’t going to tell her he was staying.

  “Friday.”

  Her heart squeezed, and she sucked in a sharp breath. “So soon?”

  “I’ve found someone to replace me for the music lessons. I’ve passed her information on to Toby.”

  Did he think she cared about that? He was leaving in a matter of days. She’d never see him again. Except if she watched the music channels and caught his latest video. But the rock star wasn’t the man she loved. The man she loved was leaving just like she knew he would. But she didn’t want to show him how much it hurt.

  “That’s great. I look forward to working with her.” Her voice rose to a forced cheery pitch, and he frowned.

  “I’d stay longer, but the band needs me. I’ve been away longer than I’d planned.”

  “You have a jo
b to do. You must be eager to get back on stage.” She bounded off the chair, but before she took two steps, Nate held her by the wrist, pulling her back down.

  “I hate the thought of leaving you.” His eyes bore into hers.

  Then don’t leave, she wanted to yell.

  “This next leg of the tour goes for two months. Then I have another break, and I’ll come back. This doesn’t have to end here.”

  “How long is your break, and what happens after that?” she asked.

  “We have a six-week break. Then a few shows for charity to put on in Italy, Spain, and England.”

  “How long will you be away doing these events?” Jade asked, forcing the tremor from her voice.

  “A month. Maybe longer.”

  She’d heard this all before. When she was a little girl and she would sit with her father before he left to go on flights around the world, she’d ask him similar questions. At first, he’d be gone two days, then two weeks, then a month. Until eventually he never came home.

  She couldn’t go through that again. Nate might think they could make it work, but she knew better. Eventually he’d never come back. Only moments ago, he’d said some guy would be lucky to have her. He wasn’t thinking long-term. He was only thinking until his next break, and then he’d move on.

  “Don’t make plans you’re not sure you can keep. A long-distance relationship is hard work.”

  “We could try.”

  Struggling with the thoughts in her head and the emotions in her heart, her head told her to put distance between them. Show him the door and tell him to have a nice life. Her heart wanted to hold on to him for every last second; she’d deal with the broken pieces when he left.

  She wouldn’t get many moments like this with him again, so why deny herself as much time as possible with him?

  “No. It would never work.” And the curse would only end it anyway. “You’re here now, let’s make the most of the time we have left,” she said and slid her hand along his chest.

  Nate didn’t argue the case, because deep down he must know she was right. Instead, his eyes heated as she trailed her palm down the length of his torso. He sucked in a sharp breath when her fingertips slid into the waistband of his jeans.

  Lowering his mouth to hers, he paused before claiming her lips. She looked into his eyes, desire beaming from them. And for a second, just before he kissed her, she thought she saw something more. A need for her that went beyond lust. Her heart stopped. No, it couldn’t be more. Her mind must be playing tricks on her. And as his hands skimmed her with feather-light strokes along her body, turning her into a quivering mess, all intelligent thoughts left the building.

  After, as they lay sated and panting on the couch—arms and legs tangled—she breathed in his woodsy, soapy scent, wanting to take every part of him in. And it was then her chest seized and lungs tightened. She’d been wrong. She’d never be able to pick up the pieces of her broken heart when he left because it had already shattered.

  Chapter 25

  A suitcase lay open on Nate’s unmade bed. He piled his clothes inside, flipped it closed, and wheeled it into the living room, his guitar propped on the wall in its case ready to go. That’s all he had. The furniture in the house was part of the rental.

  Dorito laid curled up in a ball in a sunny spot of the room, fast asleep. The little fur ball had grown on him. He’d miss him.

  The cat wasn’t the only thing he would miss. He loved being back in his hometown with his grandmother and Toby. Sure, he was close with his band mates, but nothing felt better than being surrounded by the people who truly knew you. His band mostly saw him as Nathan Harvey, not Nate Miller. They didn’t know the real person.

  And then Jade had burst into his life like a ball of fiery light, not giving a shit about his stage persona. And because he didn’t have to hide that part of himself, it made him feel more normal than he ever had in his life. Too bad he couldn’t stay longer to see where they could take their relationship. But with her believing in curses, and with the amount of travel he did, could they have made it work?

  He’d meant it when he suggested they could try, but the more time he had to think, the more he realized Jade was right. He shouldn’t make plans he wasn’t sure he could keep when he was on the road most of the time. It was selfish to ask Jade to wait for him when he happened to have a month off once in a while. A clean break would be best for both. A sharp pain sliced through his chest, and he leaned against the wall. God, leaving her was going to kill him.

  These last few days Jade had been different, not her usual bubbly self. He put it down to the stress of not working and the turmoil he’d thrown into her life. He hated that he’d caused her so much trouble and couldn’t fix it. Even though she kept telling him she was fine, she’d lost the happy spark in her eyes.

  They’d spent a lot of their limited time together wrapped in each other’s arms. Their lovemaking started out fast and frantic, like they couldn’t wait a second to get their hands on each other. Then continued on to something slower, like they didn’t want it to end. Each day it got harder and harder to drag himself away from her. Today would be the hardest. He’d drop off Dorito and say goodbye. Shoving his fingers through his hair, he pushed away from the wall and swore.

  Finally, he had found someone he could picture spending his life with, only for it to be impossible. He couldn’t give her what she needed. Or give himself the life he wanted. The obligation to his father was what his life was about. He’d promised him he’d never let his music die.

  He walked into the kitchen. Dorito must have known he was about to get food because he followed him, stretching as he peered into his bowl.

  Nate opened a can of tuna and spooned it out for the hungry cat. “I’ll see you later, buddy. I’ll be taking you to your new home.”

  The cat devoured his meal, not giving Nate an ounce of attention as he left the house.

  * * * *

  Nate found Toby sitting in Fi-Fi’s kitchen, a steaming cup of coffee on the table in front of him. She was showing him something on her phone.

  When Nate first left Brimland Point with his band, Toby promised he’d keep an eye on Fi-Fi. All these years later, he still dropped by.

  “Hi, honey.” His grandmother beamed a bright, pink lip smile. “I was just getting Toby’s opinion on what stripper shoes I should buy.”

  Toby stared at him with horror in his eyes.

  “You’ll never be able to walk into a strip club again without thinking of Fi-Fi and her shoes.” Nate laughed.

  Toby dropped his head in his hands.

  “These are for pole dancing, not stripping. Get your minds out of the gutter.” Fi-Fi huffed.

  Nate wanted to scrub the image of his grandmother pole dancing out of his mind, and judging by the look on Toby’s face, he did too. “I hear there’s a great line dancing class at the Leisure Centre. Why don’t you give that a go?”

  Fi-Fi slapped a hand on a hip covered in leopard print spandex. “Why the hell would I want to line dance with a bunch of old people?”

  Some would probably be a lot younger than her. But Nate kept that to himself. “Just a suggestion,” he said, sitting at the table next to Toby.

  “You heading off in the morning?” Toby asked.

  “Yep. I fly out at seven.”

  “I’m going to miss you.” His grandmother slid her hand across the table and squeezed his. “It’s wonderful having you home for longer than five minutes. I actually thought you might stay for good.”

  He raised a brow. “You did? Why?”

  “Because you were playing music you loved and your face beams with joy whenever you talk about it.”

  “I was only playing in a bar.” But it did make him happy.

  “And drawing in a decent crowd,” Toby added.

  “It was nothing important.” The sinking feeling in his gut told him differently.

  “And what about the teacher you’re seeing, is that nothing important? Were you only
playing around with her too?” Fi-Fi asked.

  Toby threw him a serious look. One that said you better not have been fucking around with my friend for the fun and giggles.

  “Not with Jade, she means a lot to me,” Nate answered.

  “Well, do something about it,” his grandmother said as if she didn’t understand what the problem was.

  “There’s nothing I can do. I’m on the road too much for a successful relationship.”

  “Then stop going on the road. How many times do I need to tell you that band is making you miserable? Home is making you happy. And that includes playing your own music, even if it is in a small pub. It’s not like you need the money. And a beautiful woman who you’ve spent every minute you can with has put the biggest smile on your face and a spring in your step. If those aren’t good enough reasons to stay, I don’t know what is. Stop trying to walk in your father’s shoes.”

  “I promised him, Fi-Fi.”

  “He should never have made you promise to give your life away. He was my son and I love him and miss him terribly, but I can tell you he’d become selfish and conceited and wanted the world to revolve around him. Answer me this.” She leaned forward and peered into his eyes. “If your father had never made you make that promise, if you could have any life you wanted, what would you be doing?”

  Nate squirmed in his seat. If he lied, Fi-Fi would spot it a mile away. Like she always did.

  “I’d be playing my own music, even writing songs for other artists.” The few he’d sent away were getting great airplay. And he’d been asked for more.

  “Then follow your dream,” she urged.

  “It’s not as simple as that.”

  His grandmother slumped back in her chair. “You’re the only one who’s making things complicated.”

  Nate couldn’t listen to his grandmother’s lecture any longer. He’d heard it all before. Although he’d never admitted it out loud, he’d rather be playing his own music. That, he only just recently discovered. And the part about Jade was new too. Did his grandmother think it was easy for him to leave her? But he had to do what was best for them both.