Love & London: The love story 2021 needs. Heartbreakingly beautiful and hilariously funny!

by Ellie White

  "Oh, be quiet. It's done wonders for our marriage. Since you two have taken over the business, we’ve had so much more time together. Morning, noon, night - It doesn't matter. Just whenever the mood strikes."

  Jake can't contain his laughter any longer as the colour drains from my face. Because that's what every family party needs, parents bragging about their sex life which is, evidently, more exciting than mine.

  "You needn't laugh, Jacob; your mother is the one who introduced us to the class. She and I compare notes," Mum says, wiping that smirk off his face.

  Jake removes his arm from me and stares at Mum with his mouth hanging open, his skin has a slightly green hue and I swear he's close to throwing up. I would feel sorry for him if I weren’t completely mortified myself.

  "I'm going to find the straight bleach. Excuse me, please," my brother says as he walks away from us, shaking his head as though he is trying to shake the conversation from his memory.

  "Speaking of your parents, here they come, now," she says as she spots them coming up the garden path. "I'll let them in," she adds, running off to answer the door.

  "Pretend this conversation never happened?" I plead.

  "Deal."

  "I know you said you'd drive us back but should I book us an Uber home later, instead?"

  "Yep. Do that. If I have to endure stories of our parents' sex-capades all evening, I need to be drunk. I better go say ‘hi’ to Mum and Dad, too. Hopefully, I can look them in the eye. I'll bring drinks back with me."

  "So, you and Jake, huh?" my brother asks me after he passes Jake in the doorway with a raised eyebrow. "Singing cheesy romantic duets on the karaoke on Valentine's Day? Heard you spent the night there, too? Mum was just telling Angie and Margaret."

  "What is with everyone? There is nothing going on. We're close friends. We run a successful ad agency together, partners. That's it. Can a male and female not be friends without something going on? Besides, ‘Summer Lovin’ is a song about a girl who thinks she’s in love and a guy who’s desperate to shag her."

  "Okay, you got me there. It is normal for men and women to be friends; I have a lot of female friends. But that man in there is in love with you and has been for a lot longer than I've known. Believe me when I say that I've known a long time. He's good at hiding it from you."

  I don't say anything. Instead, I opt for a pft of disbelief.

  "Why do you think he hated hearing you talk about dating? Or why he lost it when you were planning on sleeping with Sam? Plus, we talk about it all the time. Scratch that. He, literally does not stop talking about it and, if I'm honest, we're all sick of him not making a move and then feeling sorry for himself. I guess - by the look on your face - you really didn't know. If you don't feel the same, you need to tell him before you get his hopes up."

  I don't know how to respond to James. Is it true? Does Jake have feelings for me? Why didn't he tell me before I went on those dates or, you know, last night when I embarrassed myself and asked him to kiss me. If he has feelings for me, why didn't he kiss me last night? I desperately try to remember what he said to me but my mind is foggy and I can't make sense of it all.

  "You obviously have feelings for him, too, Maggie. I think you know you do and that's okay. I say this as your big brother; you deserve to be happy. You think I would have let him get this far with you if I didn't know that he's the right person to make you happy? The smile you had on your face when you walked through that door with him tonight - Hell, the smile you have whenever you're with him. Well, I've not seen that smile for over eight years and I'd like it to continue."

  I know he's right. Spending time with Jake has pulled down walls that, until recently, I hadn't even realised I had built over the years. In such a small amount of time, he has become as necessary to me as breathing. I crave his company when he isn't around and relax the moment I see his smile light up his face.

  I lost myself when Philip died. I had been with him my entire life and, without him, I didn't know who I was anymore. We shared a family, we shared friends and hobbies so, when he was taken from me, I had nothing to call my own. Nothing that didn't painfully remind me of what I had lost.

  Although, at one point, we were all friends, this relationship I have now with Jake is my own. We have our own little moments together; we understand each other like no-one else has been able to. He makes me smile and laugh and not give a shit about what people think about me, something that was such a foreign concept to me a few weeks ago.

  I had always known he was good looking. How could I not be physically attracted to him when he is every girl’s fantasy? Besides that, he's kind, caring and considerate. He's funny and I can tell he has so much love to give. Ever since that first night at the pub, the day our dads threw us together in an unlikely partnership, he just needs to look in my general direction and my knees go weak.

  I have to admit, there is a lot of chemistry between us. A lot of flirting and innuendos and, looking back on the times there's been just the two of us, there's been a lot of romance that I hadn't took any notice of. But there are reasons I shouldn't even entertain the thought of more than a friendship with him which is why asking him to kiss me last night was reckless. There’s the company, for a start. What would happen if things ended badly between us? And what about our friendship? I've come to depend on him too much to lose him.

  Jake joins us again, this time, coming to sit closer to me on the actual seat instead of the arm of my chair. He pulls me into his side, back to reality, and I can't help but lean in all too comfortably as my brother gives me his all-knowing look.

  I know he's right. He knows he's right. I do have feelings for Jake Mills. I would go as far as saying I'm falling in love with him but can I see a future with him? I'm not sure.

  Jake hands me a glass of wine filled to the brim. You know, like a real glass of wine that empties half a bottle; exactly what I needed after my lightning bolt realisation. The realisation of maybe it wasn't the fact that I was trying to put myself back on the market, maybe it was Jake who brought me back to life all along.

  I shove all thoughts to the side when Jake asks me if I'm okay, sensing that I'm having some sort of epiphany.

  I'm thankful when James steps in to redirect the conversation. "So, I was thinking we go mingle for a bit, say ‘hello’ to everyone we have to and, maybe, play a little Jones family bingo to keep ourselves entertained? Then, we sneak away from the grown-ups and down to the summer house like we did when we were teenagers."

  "Sounds like a great idea," Helen says as she joins us. I didn't even realise she was here. "Thanks for leaving me back there, by the way, James. I just had to endure a conversation with everyone's Mums about a new Kama Sutra book they're reading in some sex class." She adds a dramatic shiver for affect.

  "It's every man or woman for themselves tonight. Sorry, babe," he says, kissing her on the cheek.

  "Don't touch me. She's just detailed her Love Honey order in depth and I feel like I need to gouge out my brain." We all dry heave at that thought. "Think I better kill a few braincells with booze," she adds, plucking my brother’s bottle of Bud from his hand.

  Thankfully, we turn our attention to other topics of conversation, including my karaoke accident. At least Helen gives me an ounce of sympathy and it's not long before Laura, Harry and Simon arrive.

  Once our drinks are replenished, we run through the rules for Jones family bingo. It's a game we played as kids to pass the time at Mum and Dad's parties. Although, this time, we are all in our 30s and playing with alcohol instead of chocolates.

  When we were kids, we'd be hyped up on sugar, often keeping us awake until long after the party had finished. Now that we're respectable adults, it's a sure-fire way of getting completely rat arsed in the least amount of time possible - A godsend when the older lot are discovering how much they still love sex.

  "So, it's a drinking game?" Simon asks.

  "Yeah. So, take one drink every time someone asks when James and Helen a
re getting married,” Laura says, typing into the notepad on her phone, knowing that's a topic that usually comes up at one of these things since they're both thirty-three and have been together for over a decade now.

  "One drink every time someone asks if Maggie and Jake are shagging or suggests they should be shagging. Or even just going out with each other," Helen puts in and amending her suggestion slightly as I roll my eyes at her. Clearly, the rumours are spreading. "Whatever. If your names are mentioned in the same sentence, we drink."

  "Can we not discuss the topic, quickly? I mean, they should be going on a date," Harry asks. We all drink.

  "They did last night," James says. We all drink.

  "Apparently, Jake needs to work on his dating skills," Laura snickers.

  "First off, we had a lovely night until karaoke-gate. And, secondly, can we move on, please? We'll be drunk before the game starts at this rate," I beg

  "Two drinks whenever someone brags about something new that they've bought or are planning on buying. Bonus drink if they mention how much it cost," Jake says, coming to my rescue and changing the subject.

  "Two drinks when they brag about something a kid or grandkid has done," Harry continues.

  "Down the whole drink when someone over the age of fifty mentions sex in any context," I finish the rules as we share a collective shiver.

  "First one to tap out buys the rest dinner next weekend," James finishes, adding the wager. "I reckon that, if we speak to enough people in the next hour, annoy the hell out of them all, no-one will give a shit when we sneak off to the summer house."

  We all agree and spread out to mingle with other guests. Jake makes sure to stick by my side after I insist that I can't actually move without his assistance. No-one fights me on my request even though any of them would be able to help me. I think they want to see where this goes as much as everyone else, me included.

  I'm still not convinced that Jake sees me as anything more than his friend, no matter what my brother has to say about it. Jake isn't usually shy when it comes to women; he knows what he wants and has the confidence to go for it. It pains me to say but I've seen it in action. So, if he does share my feelings, why hasn't he told me about it himself?

  "Here we go," Jake whispers in my ear as his parent's approach us. We hadn't even had chance to stand up so I feel slightly awkward when Margaret speaks as I am almost sat in her son's lap.

  "Well, it's nice to see you two together," she says as she and Ray sit on the couch next to where we’re sat. We drink at the suggestive tone she uses when she says the word 'together'. "How long has this romance been going on?"

  Another drink.

  "Mum," Jake says, warning her.

  "You just make a great couple, that's all. And everyone is so happy to see you both together," she says, smiling as she uses that word again.

  Another drink.

  "Just don't mess it up, son," Raymond says sternly, bringing me back to Earth with a bang. If we messed it up, what would happen to the company he and my dad have spent their lives building?

  The interrogations didn't end with Margaret and Ray. People were obviously excited about seeing Jake. Since he hasn't been to one of these parties in a long time, they wouldn't leave him alone. They wanted to know everything about his life in the last twelve years. My aunties and uncles, our parents' friends, even old neighbours. Everyone wants a piece of him and yeah, I was jealous because I wanted to keep him to myself.

  I wanted to know if what James said was true. Has Jake had feelings for me for a long time? How long? What kind of feelings? Why hasn't he told me?

  And, if he doesn't feel that way, why would James make it up? It has to be true, right?

  I conclude that Laura has known for a while. It would explain why she's always the one to help James diffuse the tension between me and Jake like at the bar when we fought over the slight possibility that I would sleep with Sam. Instead of calming me down, she was right at the bar with James and Jake, talking him down. Clearly, she knew it had the possibility to blow up in my face.

  There is no way Helen doesn't know; James would have told her in detail. They can't keep anything from each other. Helen even says that, if she can't tell James, she doesn't want to know.

  If what James said is true, that he can't stop talking about it, that everyone is sick of him not making a move, why hasn't Harry told me before now?

  As I stand here, smiling and nodding at Janice from next door as she coos over Jake, it dawns on me that he has never denied that we're together when we've been asked - it's always been me - and everyone we've spoken to tonight have asked us something along those lines. People asking how long we've been together and me denying that there's anything other than friendship between us. Even Philip's Mum and Dad gush about what a lovely couple we make and say we should have gotten together long ago.

  Jake just smiled at them when they spoke about it, maybe out of politeness, maybe in agreement. Maybe he does think we should have gotten together a long time ago and I keep shoving him firmly back in the friend zone like a complete shithead whenever someone uses our names in the same sentence.

  I'm the reason he hasn't said anything, I'm the one who insists we're just friends. No wonder he won't dare say anything to me, he probably thinks I'm going to reject him.

  But he did tell me. I remember now. Right after he gently turned me down, he explained. I was just too high on painkillers or maybe too embarrassed to really hear what he was saying.

  ‘I want to, believe me, I really want to kiss you. It's taking all my self-control not to but I don't want our first kiss to be one you don't remember when you wake up.’

  I need to get him on his own. I need to talk to him and clear this whole thing up.

  I honestly have no idea what to say or how to say it so, instead, I stand, half listening to the conversation he has with Janice and half overanalysing every single moment we've shared in the last six weeks.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Less than an hour after we start our drinking game, we were all well on our way to being pissed and have all been told off by my mum for being childish.

  Thirty years old and still getting told off by my mum for getting drunk when, by the end of the night, you can guarantee she will be the drunkest one here.

  So, to avoid a further telling off, we all settled down a little on the drinking and just made an effort to speak with Mum's party guests.

  Jake has kept his arm wrapped around my waist as he stands behind me all evening, letting me lean against him, propping me up and taking half of my weight to give me some relief. People offer me seats but I decline, using the excuse that I will seize up if I sit for too long.

  I'm still not confident on the crutches and the alcohol doesn't help my balance at the best of times so, if Jake is willing to keep his arms around me, I'll take full advantage of that. That's what I'm telling myself, anyway, that he's helping me balance and that's why I need him to hold me. It's totally not the fact that I crave his physical contact. No not at all.

  It hasn't helped convince people that we're just friends either. That and the fact that everyone has seen the karaoke video on Facebook… And the photo of us that Jake took on our romantic champagne picnic by Tower Bridge that Jude posted on social media last night, wishing our followers a 'Happy Valentine's Day'.

  I even stopped denying that we are together after a while. Jake hasn't denied it all evening and I decided that, by the end of tonight, I'm going to tell him exactly how I feel.

  More and more of our conversation comes back to me as the night goes on. I remember what I said about him to the doctor in the hospital, how he said we'd talk about it when we got home but, clearly, I was in no fit state to do that.

  I've spent the better part of the evening scrutinising our friendship and I suppose there are a lot of reasons to think we're a couple.

  "Let's go to the summer house before the others make their way down. Your dad got the fire pit started earlier so it'll be nice
and warm. I think he knew we would all hide down there, eventually. I could also do with five minutes to chill. I forgot how intense Jones family parties can be," Jake says, taking my drink so he can carry it for me. He helps me navigate through the kitchen and out of the back-patio doors. We pass my brother who winks at me as we quietly sneak out, avoiding all the 'grown ups'.

  On the outside, I'm rolling my eyes at him. On the inside, my stomach has tied itself in knots, thinking about me and Jake, alone in the garden.

  This is my chance to speak to him and I still have no idea what I'm going to say. I'm so nervous that I'm shaking and Jake notices.

  "Are you cold?"

  "I'll be okay when we get to the fire pit," I lie.

  He leads me down the garden path, past the goldfish pond and wishing well water feature that Mum insisted on having custom built but now refuses to go anywhere near it out of fear of frogs.

  Six weeks ago, I would have put money on Jake pushing me in the pond.

  The summer house is a large shed at the bottom of the garden surrounded by lush, green trees and shrubbery that my dad turned into a garden bar 'before it was cool', as he likes to remind us. We would sneak out of family parties as teenagers to come down here and help ourselves to the vodka and gin he kept under the high bar.

  Back then, there were a few collapsible garden chairs, a mesh table and a plastic storage box where the booze was kept. Now, there is a tall, wooden bar with a built-in beer pump and keg, hanging shelves containing top end spirits and cosy outdoor sofas with cushions and blankets. A hanging egg chair sits in the corner opposite big, double doors that open out onto a paved area where the fire pit sits.

  I think our parents must have figured out what we were doing as kids because, over time, the spirits would change to cheap home brand and tasted like it was mixed with 90 percent water but we still loved feeling like rebellious kids.

  It's been a long time since I've been in here. There are now shelves around the eves of the room, housing empty whiskey bottles from all over the world that Dad and his friends have finished. Rock’n’roll memorabilia he's hoarded from the 70s and 80s decorate the walls. He's even got one of those cardboard peanut and pork scratching hangers that his mate from the pub down the road got him for his birthday.