The Widow (Federal Hellions Book 1)

by Gray Gardner

  “Look.” She sighed, professionally pushing her own feelings down. “I’m sorry I lied, that I’ve been lying. But if we’re going to work together on this then we can’t…”

  She didn’t want to admit what she wanted to do to him.

  “Can’t what?” he asked, stepping forward casually. He was feeling more in control. Just the way he liked it.

  She backed into the wall and shook her head.

  “You know what.”

  He leaned down, just above her shoulder, and whispered, “I just can’t decide what I’m going to do with you.”

  “Well you aren’t spanking me anymore, that’s for sure.” She frowned, as her skin began to heat at his closeness.

  “Oh, my darling, that’s the one certainty of this night.” He grinned, his eyes looking so amused as he peered down at her.

  “I’m not your student.”

  “From now on they’re going to be grown-up spankings.”

  “That’s not a thing.”

  “But that’s going to come later. As I said. It’s a definite yes,” he softly said, leaning further down so that his lips barely brushed her ear. “What I can’t decide, though, is whether I’m going to make slow, fervent love to you or just fuck you hard tonight.”

  “Jesus,” George choked, her legs turning to jelly as his words shot right down through her body like a quick electric shock. She looked up into his eyes and swallowed. What was she supposed to say to that? Thank you? Yes please?

  “Jane,” he said, loving her reaction. She wanted him as badly as he wanted her. He needed her. Needed to be inside her. As soon as possible.

  “Uh, um, Dr. Thomas.”

  “Conrad.”

  “Conrad.” She huffed, licking her lips. What the hell could she say after that? “Y-you have a few non-disclosure contracts to sign.”

  He brushed a wisp of her hair back from her forehead. The contact of his fingertips lightly brushing her face and ear made her visibly shiver.

  “I’ll sign whatever you need.”

  “Come in,” Nelson said, looking tired. She set down her hands-free headset and fell back into her chair. “Ah, George. Look, I’m sorry I lost my temper back there. It was a clean shoot, I trust you. You’ve never given me any reason not to. My ass is on the line here, that’s all.”

  “I—”

  “So, we’re all tired, I’m thinking you and the professor should just go home.”

  “Yeah.”

  “And I’m thinking he’s trustworthy enough to let in as an informant so you can go back to being a student. As long as you do not put his life in any kind of danger.”

  “No.”

  “So I think it’s all set then. I’ll call legal to send in some non-disclosure papers for Thomas to sign right now. Cramer called the boys’ parents so I’d say you have about a week before their parents get any kind of legal action rolling in here. I’ll stall as long as I can.”

  George stood silently in the doorway. She’d gotten out three syllables and Nelson had covered just about everything she’d wanted to say. She’d never clicked with a boss like she did with her. They got each other.

  “Okay,” she tentatively said. After signing all of those disclosure papers it wouldn’t matter how detailed his notes in that notepad were. It was a federal gag-order with federal penalties.

  “Go, George, and take the professor with you.”

  “Got it,” she said, quickly leaving and getting on the elevator. Oh God, that was over. She wasn’t suspended for killing the people dealing illegal controlled substances. Now she just had to get the rest of them.

  And she had to face Dr. Conrad Thomas.

  Little Pearls of Prudence

  “We’re going to have a conversation,” Dr. Thomas said as they climbed into George’s Tahoe in the parking garage.

  “Where’d you park?” George asked, backing out and keeping her eyes resolutely on the road.

  “Back by the club,” he answered, with a knowing grin. “So, you’ll follow me back to campus, back through the staff gate, and park in my garage.”

  He could actually see her throat as she tried to swallow.

  “Getting involved is going to make this even more complicated than it already is, Dr. Thomas.”

  “Conrad,” he grinned, watching her as she maneuvered through the streets of DC.

  “C-Conrad,” she fumbled with his name, wishing she could just be a mature adult entering into a sexual relationship with a smart, beautiful man instead of a stammering dumb-shit who was absolutely terrified.

  “It’s too late, sweetheart. We’re already involved. We’re so far past the starting point that there’s nothing left to do but move forward,” he confidently told her, getting semi-hard just thinking about the coming hours he was going to spend with her. On her. In her.

  “Please,” she softly said, shaking her head and looking over at him at a stoplight. “It’s difficult to explain.”

  “What’s left to explain? We’re two consenting, professional adults. And if I don’t taste you in the next few minutes I’m going to lose my fucking mind.”

  She pressed her lips together to hold in a whimper of desire and looked straight forward the rest of the way to the warehouse. Her stomach tightened and her groin pulsed. Jesus, she’d never wanted someone so badly. She parked next to the gray Land Cruiser and suddenly he was across the seat and on her in less than a second.

  His mouth pressed against hers and he slipped his hand behind her head to hold her steady. She was nervous, he could tell. But why in the hell would she be? She was clever and attractive and her ass was so damned hot that he wondered how he’d made it through the semester without the school firing him for inappropriate staring.

  And kissing? She tasted sweet and it was gratifying when she curled her fingers in his hair and moaned softly. She wanted him. Now he had to make it happen.

  “Leave your car,” he simply ordered, his lips inches from hers as he pulled back to look at her face. Her fragrant skin wrinkled into a frown as she stared back at him.

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re riding back with me. I’ve just decided. You don’t need your car anymore.”

  “Yes I do,” she said, feeling her control begin to slip away.

  “No,” he sighed, backing off of her and opening the car door, stepping out onto the street in the cold darkness. “I’m suspending you from car privileges.”

  He slammed the door and began strolling to his car. She leapt out and slammed her door with even more force, charging up behind him.

  “You can’t do that. I need my car for my job. You know, my real job?” she said, folding her arms over her chest. The nerve of this guy was killing her sensual vibe. Where had the making-out-in-the-car guy gone?

  “I can, actually,” he replied, a grin playing on his lips as she pouted. “I’m taking away your privileges.”

  “What?” she shrieked, in a high voice, pausing in the street.

  “I want you with me, Jane. If you need to go anywhere I’ll take you or you can take my car,” he said, opening the passenger door and peering down at her and her adorable indignant face. “And that’s the end of the discussion.”

  “I’m not getting in there.” She huffed, turning and walking back to her car. The plan was to follow him back to campus and park in his garage. And why was he being so bossy?

  A pair of strong arms pinned her to her Tahoe door as a deep voice came from above and behind her head. Her body physically betrayed her as she flinched and then shivered.

  “If you want that spanking now, Jane, you just have to say so.” He smiled, enjoying this way too much. He couldn’t really help it, though. He felt relief. He felt hope. He actually felt happy and it was all because of her.

  She flipped around, pressing her back into the car in an attempt to get further away from him as she glared at his stupid smile.

  “I already told you, Dr. Thomas, that’s not happening anymore.”

  “Oh, it�
��ll probably be happening a lot more.”

  “I’m not some kid. I’m not a student. I’m an adult,” she affirmed, wishing her legs would stop feeling like jelly. Conrad had that effect on her and it was maddening. “So if that little pearl is a deal breaker, then this will be over before it’s even begun.”

  “Here’s another little pearl, my darling. I’ve never been in a relationship where I had to spank my girlfriend. That said, I’ve never met anyone who needs it more than you. And I’m going to be the one giving it to you. End of debate.”

  Her mouth dropped open and she couldn’t… she just couldn’t find the words. What in the hell? And why did it send thrills shooting through her toes when he’d said the word girlfriend?

  “Great,” he nodded, her confused expression too adorable for words. “I know you’re strong. I’ve seen it. And I know you’re tenacious—seen that, too. But I’m going to ask you to voluntarily get into my car because I know the academy taught you some advanced evasive moves and I don’t really want to get into a scuffle with you out here at this hour.”

  Jane snapped her mouth shut and blinked a few times. Yes. She could fight him. He wasn’t a mark anymore. She could totally kick his ass at will and not have to worry about her cover!

  “Don’t even think about it,” he sighed, jerking his head towards his car. “Things haven’t really changed, Jane. What do I always tell you? I won’t hurt you. But you need it.”

  “I’m an adult, I don’t need anything from some guy,” she yelled, opening her car door and wishing she could sound more convincing. “Congratulations, you got your wish. This is over before it even started. See you around campus, Dr. Thomas.”

  She drove away at a pretty fast clip and Conrad stood in the crisp air as signs of dawn began emerging on the skeletal buildings above. Her defiance pretty much confirmed it for him. He was already falling pretty damn hard for Jane George.

  Jane, on the other hand, was a blubbering mess by the time she pulled back onto campus. She cried into her coat sleeve and flopped onto her bed, wondering where in the hell she’d gone wrong. She wanted Conrad Thomas so badly. She even thought she may have had him momentarily.

  But what he wanted was wrong. She was strong and independent and she didn’t need him telling her what to do just because he had a penis. Asshole.

  She was squeezing her eyes shut and thinking of more body parts she could call him when her door slammed, startling her.

  “Jane.”

  He was there. And he wasn’t looking mad, rejected, confused. He exuded confidence and projected such a serene demeanor that she wondered if their late night fight had really happened.

  “Jane,” he said again, though there was no urgency in his voice. He was standing there in his dirty pants and button down with the sleeves rolled up. He was there.

  Before she could instruct her body to stop, she pushed off of her twin bed and crushed her body into his, drinking in his hard chest, and gentle touch, as he wrapped himself around her.

  “I need you,” he whispered, running his fingers through those dark red locks as he held her close in relief. He didn’t know how much convincing it would take to get her to believe that they could work things out. He was glad it just took the act of him coming after her, though. It confirmed her feelings more clearly in his eyes. “God, Jane, I can’t see you run away from me again. I… I need you.”

  “I need you, too,” she cried into his shirt, unashamed of tears that usually made her feel weak. In this case, with Conrad, she felt stronger. She’d stood up and had made a hard choice and it had turned out to be the right one.

  “Before everyone on campus wakes up will you come back to my place?” he asked, holding her face in his hands and staring into her devastatingly blue eyes. “It’s early but the sun’s up so we’ll have to maneuver there separately.”

  When he spoke he’d been rubbing up and down her back. She was so comfortable right there in his arms. How could she say no? She hadn’t felt so excited or happy about anything in the longest time. Really she was left with only one choice.

  “Be there in ten.”

  Conrad had barely entered his dimly lit house and turned up the heat when the doorbell rang. The naughty little girl was trying to be good and wait to be invited in. Charming, but still not enough to get her out of her spanking.

  “Ben,” he greeted, a little more than startled to find his colleague on the front porch and not Jane George. He adjusted his pants and planted a welcoming smile on his face. “What’s up?

  “Not answering your cell,” the large man nodded, not offering a returning smile. “I’m heading to the UN Council stuff. Can you help handle the duties while I’m gone?”

  “Of course,” he nodded, mumbling a good bye as the other man waved and hopped into an idling black Lincoln waiting in the circular driveway. The man was all business and never much for niceties.

  Conrad sighed and turned, leaping back against the door as Jane appeared in front of him, sipping a long neck and offering him one.

  “Jesus, Jane!” He huffed, catching his breath and realizing that it was exactly how he’d imagined her showing up at his house. He took the beer and tried to hold back his grin and he narrowed his eyes down at her. “Let yourself in, did you?”

  “You just make it so easy,” she sighed, the beer going down quickly. It was helping her come down, too. It had been an exciting and enlightening night. And even though it was technically morning it was far from over.

  “You’re adorable,” Conrad grinned, watching her cheeks slightly flush at his compliment as she stood in his open living room. Her hair was still a little disheveled and she’d changed into a navy Columbia PFG t-shirt, leggings, and pink Wellingtons. “Are you ready to talk about grown-up things now?”

  “I don’t see how we could talk about anything else since we’re both grown-ups.” She smirked, standing her ground.

  He took her beer and set it on an end table, reaching both hands out and cupping her face. Her light pink cheeks kind of smushed in as he spoke.

  “About how this relationship is going to be. Listening to one another. Respect for one another.”

  “I’m totally down with all of those things,” she nodded, his grip on her face tightening a little. She wanted him to release her and then lose the clothes. Why all the talking?

  “You lied to me, Jane.”

  “I had to. It was my job.”

  “It still makes me angry.”

  “I thought we resolved this when you showed up at my dorm. We’re both giving a little so we can give this a real try.”

  “We didn’t agree on anything,” he said, backing away and running a hand through his hair. “You had me believing you were a lost little girl. You played on my sympathies and affections. You had me truly caring about you as my student. My poor little orphaned student.”

  Jane pressed her lips together and looked down at the floor.

  “Yes, Conrad, you’re right. I mean, I do feel sorry about that. It doesn’t make it right, but I am sorry. I just had to do my job well so that I could immerse myself—”

  “That’s just it,” he loudly said, causing her to jerk her head back up and look at him as he began pacing. “You got to know me and you still didn’t trust me enough to bring me into your little Department of Justice circle.”

  “Hey.” She huffed, frowning. It wasn’t really her decision.

  “I was US Military. You could have done any of several checks on me. Maybe you did. But I think you liked keeping me at arm’s length. You liked your perfect little balance of working alone and placing me in that little box marked indifferent.”

  “It’s so obvious that my feelings for you aren’t indifferent,” she argued, stepping forward.

  “You can admit that now, but would you ever have if last night didn’t happen? Would you have just left and not said a word to me when this assignment ended?”

  The look on his face made her turn her back on him. She took a deep breath and l
ooked up at the ceiling. She didn’t know how to answer that. Shit. This was a real grown-up conversation. His hands took hold of her shoulders and he leaned down so close that his hot breath on her ear made her body quake.

  “I’m going to spank you, Jane. I won’t hurt you, but you need it. And I think you know now that I need it too,” he said, pulling her over to his oversized sectional couch. She resisted a little, but not as much as she could, considering the amount of training and real-life experience she’d had.

  “Wait,” she protested, stumbling behind him and tripping over his hard legs as he pulled her down to his lap. Her arms went out to stop her face from hitting the distressed tan leather and her hips hit his thigh at an angle that sent her legs flying out behind her. His hands were everywhere: around her waist, on the outside of her thigh to adjust her, on the inside of her thigh to pull her closer to his torso. This was ridiculous. “Just wait!”

  “I think we’ve put this off long enough, Jane,” he affirmed, smacking his hand down. He could practically see the flabbergasted look on her face as she let out a small squeak.

  “This does not feel very grown-up!” she loudly said, not liking that she was unable to see or anticipate the coming smacks on her ass. His left arm was holding her down as it pushed down on her back, leaving her unable to turn or move forward.

  Smack!

  “Ow!”

  Conrad chuckled as he gently rubbed out the sting.

  “I know this doesn’t hurt. And that’s not really the point, is it? The point is to get your attention. To let you know you hurt me. Do you even realize that?”

  Jane swallowed and let her forehead fall forward. No. She’d been consumed with work, with herself. She hadn’t realized that she’d hurt him. Jesus, now who was the asshole?

  He appreciated her sagging shoulders and head. That meant that he’d gotten through and that she was sorry. She was sweet. He’d known that all along. He couldn’t wait to ravage every inch of her body and make her squeal for a different reason. One more thing to get through before that, though.