Dumbfounded, Frank looked to Blade. “Are we sure she’s no longer shifter because she just ripped me a new one for no reason.”
Blade started laughing, and before she could stop herself, Tess was laughing, too. But then she was crying. A pair of arms encircled her and pulled her in, promising to protect her from the outside world. They were strong, warm and felt wonderful. The only problem was they weren’t Damien’s.
Chapter Eighteen
DAMIEN
Damien ran the perimeter of his territory without stopping to talk with any of the guards, like he normally would to check on them, to ask about their families, to listen to any concerns they had. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, not after what he had done to Tess, his sweet Tess, who he bullied and tried to force into blood-bonding him. He hadn’t even waited until she’d fully recovered before tracking her down and taking her. He couldn’t blame his behavior on his wolf. Not this time.
His body trembled with fear as he thought about the last few days. She’d been deathly sick. Days of waiting for her to get better, of imagining what would happen if he lost her, had left him beyond terrified. He had only left her side for a few moments here and there, to perform spot checks on the perimeter. The only reason the WSSO had reached her was because he had failed her, and he wouldn’t let that happen again.
When he had returned to Aloe’s house, and Pryce had told him she was awake, Damien had run up to see her, but she had left. And her scent trail hadn’t led to his house, but to the fringes of his pack, straight to Frank’s cabin.
Jealousy had surged, for no good reason other than she’d gone to another male. Frank had never shown any interest in her, and Tess had never looked at a shifter other than Damien. Her beautiful green eyes always latched onto him anytime he was near. Damien had seen her love, he had felt it every time they were in the same room. And yet she continued to push him away, insisting he wouldn’t survive the blood-bond with a human. It was a load of crap. Human or not, she was perfect for him. She wasn’t giving him, them, a chance.
Damien shoved the memory of the past few days aside. She’d made her feelings quite clear in Frank’s cabin.
By the time he reached his house, Damien was sweaty and emotionally worn down. He grabbed a quick shower and plopped himself down at the kitchen table, where he nursed a beer as he stared at the front door. Hours passed and still she didn’t walk through that door. Her words still stung. Not yours! Never yours!
The door swung open, and his heart raced, until he saw it was only Aloe and Hayden. They were laughing and smiling, until they spotted Damien. Yeah, no one wanted to be near him of late. And he didn’t blame them.
“Hi, Damien,” Aloe said, her soft sweet voice reminding him of Tess. They were similar in frame, but so different in every other way. Aloe tended to shy away from all confrontation. While Tess was relatively shy at first, once she became familiar with people, her inner wolf came out strong and confident. Despite everything she’d been through, Tess had a resilience that was endless. That wasn’t a fair comparison; he had to say the same about Aloe, especially after Zach’s murder. It really pleased him that Aloe had befriended Tess. His pack had not been very accepting of her.
“I think I should get going,” Hayden said, giving Aloe a quick kiss on the cheek. Damien growled at that. Hell, he had no right to be possessive over Aloe. Protective, yes, but not possessive. She was free to date or sleep with whomever she wanted. And Hayden deserved someone who’d accept him and his past, without judgment.
“Hayden?” Damien called before his friend could leave. He wanted to apologize, but he couldn’t make the words come out.
“Damien?” Hayden replied, his tone restrained as he waited to see whether or not Damien would lose his control.
Aloe frowned. “I think Damien’s having trouble speaking his mind lately.”
“He sounded just fine the other day when he told me I was banned from the meeting with Drake.”
Aloe’s stare bounced between the two. “Come to think of it, I’m still waiting for Damien to talk to Tess. She seems to think he and I would be a good couple.”
“Oh, that’s rich,” Hayden said, chuckling.
“Shut it,” Damien warned.
“I don’t need this abuse. I’m going to go hang with Callen. At last he won’t growl when he tells me to shut up.” Hayden cupped Aloe’s cheek and then sailed out the door.
Aloe sighed.
“Don’t lecture me about Hayden,” Damien said.
“When have I ever lectured you about anyone?”
Damien shut his mouth at that. He was mad at himself and had been taking it out on Hayden. Clearly, Aloe wasn’t going to help.
“Hayden says you’ve pushed him and the others away. That you’re not listening to anyone’s advice.” She hung her jacket by the door. “That’s not like you, Damien.”
No, it wasn’t, but battling his wolf was a full-time job these days, one none of the others except Blade could relate to. Blade wouldn’t even admit that his wolf was going feral, though they all suspected it.
“Are you going to help me with Tess or not?”
Aloe took a deep breath, probably trying to ignore Damien’s rudeness. Hell, he was surprised she didn’t kick him out and tell him not to come back, until he learned to be civil. Didn’t matter that this was his house, he could see her doing it. It took a lot to rile Aloe, but do it enough, and her wolf would go for his throat.
“You need to talk with her.”
“Already did.” Damien leaned forward in the chair, his head hanging low. “I’ve lost her.”
Aloe sighed as she shook her head. “You’re as dense as Zach sometimes.”
“Alpha genes.”
“Maybe, or just stupid males making stupid choices.”
“Hey!”
“Don’t ‘Hey’ me, Damien. She’s in pain, you’re in pain. Stop wallowing and do something about it.”
“I already did. It didn’t work.”
“What did you do?” She held up a hand. “Nope, don’t tell me. I know what happens to shifters at this stage. Even less blood flow to the brain than usual.”
“I’m not even sure I gave her a chance to say, ‘No.’”
“What do you mean you’re not sure?” Aloe’s voice was unusually high, and her expression mirrored how he felt. Horrified.
“I… Hell, I remember wanting her so desperately, the need to control her…”
“That’s your wolf, Damien. You’re too close to going feral to be making any important decisions, right now.”
“All I could think about was making her blood-bond me.”
Aloe went pale. “Don’t tell me you forced her to blood-bond.”
“No, it didn’t get that far. But I can’t say I wouldn’t have done it, Aloe. I want her. I need her.”
“You can’t force her, Damien.”
“I know.” He stayed silent for a few minutes, thinking about all that he had done. “I was rougher than I should have been.” Damien sagged forward in his chair until his forehead hit the table. “And then I left her there, without any clothing.”
“God help male shifters and the females who have to put up with them. You’re like a manual of what not to do.”
“And I may have given her an ultimatum.”
“Good Lord, making a mess out of the whole mating game, aren’t you?”
“She turned me down.”
“Of course she turned you down! For a million reasons that I can’t even explain right now. But top of the list, Damien, I don’t think you’ve been listening to her. I mean with your head, not your ears. She’s convinced a blood-bond will kill you, and she’s not necessarily wrong. She’s lost all her shifter abilities. Whether you want to see it or not, she’s essentially human now.”
“Tell me what to do, Aloe.”
“Did you hurt her?”
“God, no. At least I don’t think so.” His stomach sank. “She was crying, and…”
Aloe clo
sed her eyes as she took another deep breath.
“You okay?” he asked.
She held up her hand, palm facing outwards, telling him he better shut up and stand there until she composed herself. He had never seen this side of her before. No wonder Zach said she was hard to fight with.
“Okay, this is what you’re going to do. You’re going to find her, apologize for everything you did and said to her.”
“I am?”
“Yes, you are.”
“Why?”
“Because you hurt her.”
“I’m not sure—”
“Was she crying?”
“Yes.”
“You hurt her.”
“Hell.”
“And you need to find a solution with her, together. She’s right for you, Damien.”
“Hell, Aloe, I know that. I see clearer when she’s around. She challenges me in a way that’s good for me, for the pack. I want to be better, to fix issues I didn’t even see before her, but she’s pushing me away, like she doesn’t want to be near me.”
“Which is why you’re going to apologize and then walk away.”
“Why would I—”
“Because it’s the only action that may, and I mean may, get her to stay.”
“I don’t think that’s—”
“That’s right, you’re not thinking. You’ve been spending all your time and energy fighting your wolf, and what little part of your brain isn’t devoted to controlling your wolf is pushing you to blood-bond because it’s the only way to put your wolf in his place. Until you blood-bond, Damien, your judgment will be compromised. You need to ignore your instincts and listen to Hayden and whoever else you normally trust, instead of pushing them away.”
She was right. His uncle had succumbed to the same fate, listening to his wolf instead of the shifters who tried to help him. The stories of other males were all the same. Listening to their wolves always resulted in the same destiny: going feral. Damien didn’t have to control his wolf as much as ignore it and defer to those he trusted.
“Were you this bossy with Zach?”
The sadness that spread over her face only convinced him how right she was. He’d lost his ability to filter, to think clearly.
“He said I was a breath of fresh air compared to you.” She lowered her eyes, and then said, “I’m sorry, I meant no disrespect.”
He didn’t like that she submitted to him so easily, especially when he had deserved the rebuke. He was so used to Tess standing up to him. God, she’d fought him and still he had pushed her. No wonder she didn’t want him. It wasn’t that she feared a blood-bonding’s effect on him as much as much as she feared him.
“Are you listening to me?” Aloe asked.
He nodded, knowing he was only half—a quarter—listening at this point. He struggled to focus on what she was saying, though. His instincts, as shoddy as they were these days, told him he needed to trust Aloe and follow her advice. She was level-headed and had no reason to mislead him.
Damien gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and headed out to find Tess. He was starting to feel somewhat hopeful, running through all Aloe had said to him. Surely, Aloe wouldn’t have taken the time to speak with him if he were a total lost cause. Maybe Tess would think so as well, with the right amount of… good lord, groveling. He’d do whatever he had to convince her to stay. He just hoped Callen or Blade wouldn’t be around, if and when any groveling became necessary, or he’d never live it down.
The ashy smell of smoke hit Damien the second he left his house. A howl, no, two… three, shattered the silence of the woods. Damien shifted and ran, joining others already running toward the heat and intense flames raging up ahead. He heard the clicking and sliding of the water pump being engaged and shifters yelling to give more slack on the hose as they pulled the pump to the nearby river.
His heart slammed into his throat when he saw Frank’s cabin up in flames. He had left Tess in there!
Callen and Pryce were among the dozen or so shifters trying to douse the flames before the fire could spread to the surrounding trees.
“Where’s Tess?” Damien screamed.
“Isn’t she still recovering at Aloe’s?”
Hell, no one knew Alex had released her, and they all knew Frank was away on a mission. They’d had no reason to check inside this cabin for anyone!
Damien barreled through the crowd, charging straight toward the inferno. He had to get to Tess! Callen tackled him to the ground. Hayden and two other shifters quickly pinned his arms and legs down.
“Let me go! Tess is in there!” Damien yelled as he fought all four.
“Damien!” Hayden shouted. “You can’t go in there.”
“I have to!” Damien gave his wolf control and shifted. Giving control to his wolf would ensure he turned feral that much faster in the long run, but he’d give his life to save her. His wolf could dodge the flames and falling timber and reach her. If she died, Damien might as well die, too.
Hayden pressed down on Damien’s throat, mid-shift. It was an old and nasty trick to keep a shifter from shifting, and Damien would never forgive Hayden for using it if Tess died.
“The cabin’s completely engulfed,” Hayden shouted at Damien, still pinning him to the ground. “No human, no shifter, could survive that.”
The strength drained from Damien’s body. Callen and Hayden eased their holds, but Damien didn’t rise.
He had left her in there, to burn.
“We don’t know she was in there,” Callen said. “I’ll alert the patrols to search for her.” Callen shifted and ran off, his howls filling the air a moment later.
As Damien rose, a howl sounded in the distance. And then another and another, from all directions. They hadn’t seen her.
The sound of the roof and chimney collapsing into the cabin felt like a sledgehammer to his heart. In another few minutes, the flames were out, leaving a pile of charred wood and stone and plumes of thick, black smoke filling the area. Shifters continued hosing down the cabin and the surroundings, while raking through the smoldering embers, searching for Tess.
Pryce approached, coughing from too much smoke. “We’ll have to wait until it cools down to get beneath all the debris.”
Damien stared at the ash and rubble. He knew Pryce had more to say, or he would have returned to the others. Damien closed his eyes, picturing how Tess’s hair felt between his fingers, how her sweet scent teased him, and how that beautiful smile of hers lit his soul. “Just say it.”
“I’m sorry,” Pryce said, his voice heavy with sorrow. “Tess’s scent is all over the interior.”
Chapter Nineteen
TESS
Tess woke with a start. She had fallen asleep in the tall grass by the lake. Suddenly howling erupted in every direction. The smell of ash and burning wood hung thick in the air, telling her all she needed to know. Flames shot high into the sky, threatening to engulf the forest.
“What the—” She ran toward the flames, soon realizing the fire wasn’t in the center of the pack’s residential area, but down one of the lesser-used trails. Frank’s cabin.
By the time she reached his cabin, there was nothing left but smoldering timber, and a lot of shifters dousing the surrounding woods and sifting through the charred rubble. They were tossing out what remained of the cabin, digging. Remnants of a few books and kitchen utensils went flying from the destroyed house as they searched for something, someone? God, what if Frank was in there?
Tess ran closer and accidentally slammed into Pryce. “Is Frank okay?” she asked.
Stunned, Pryce grabbed her by her arm and pulled her toward the tower of smoke. “Damien! She’s here. She’s alive!”
Within seconds, a ring of shifters gathered around her, everyone talking at once. All she wanted to know was if Frank was alive. Then she saw Frank, his cheeks smudged with ash, pushing shifters aside to reach her, and she smiled. He looked so relieved—happy—to see her. They all did.
Without warning,
she was pulled from behind into a tight, desperate hug as Damien crushed her to his chest. The din of questions faded away as his scent welcomed her in a way that told her she was home. She still didn’t know what was going on, but this feeling of love coming from him was too good to let go of.
With his head buried in her hair against her shoulder, Damien scented her, loud enough for anyone to hear. She gave him a pass on the rather intimate display done in the open, but only because he seemed so shaken. There was something unsettling about this big, strong shifter coming undone that made her want to simply hold him, reassure him that everything was fine.
The shifters who had gathered around soon returned to the debris, searching for hot embers to douse. Frank picked at the remnants of his books, disheartened by the loss of his home.
Damien’s eyes ran over her. “I thought you were inside,” he said.
“Where you left me half-naked, you mean?” she said, still not happy about that. The way his face fell, she wished she could take back her words. He knew what he’d done.
“You were missing, and your scent was in the house. Strong, as if you were still inside.” Damien was having trouble organizing his thoughts. “I thought…”
“Just my stinky laundry,” she assured him as she placed his hand on her cheek. “I’m right here, big guy. Safe and sound.”
Blue-gray eyes stared at her as his fingers caressed her face and neck. He leaned in to kiss her and stopped, his lips inches from hers.
“Why do you smell like Frank?” Damien had gone from elated to tense really fast. He smelled Frank on her, and that was enough to cause problems for a possessive male under normal circumstances, let alone one who’d just been emotionally raked through hot coals. “And why was your laundry at Frank’s?”
“I moved out of Aloe’s.”
“And you moved in with Frank, instead of me?” He lifted the edge of her t-shirt at the collar. “This is his, isn’t it? That’s why you smell of him.”
Damien’s Dilemma Page 25
