“That and he hugged me earlier.”
Damien took a deep breath and said nothing for a moment. He was struggling, the pain and indecision in his face all too clear. “Why was Frank hugging you?”
Seeing Damien struggling was hard enough, but remembering what had led to Frank’s hug made the situation worse. Her eyes welled with tears. “Because sometimes a girl just needs a hug.”
Damien pulled her into another hug and rested his chin against her shoulder as he whispered into her ear, “Get rid of the shirt, Tess. I don’t like you smelling like him. Go put on one of your own, or better yet, one of mine, so it’s clear who you belong to.”
She shoved Damien back, hard. “Belong to? What the fuck, Damien? I don’t belong to you. And my clothes just burned up in a house fire. You have some nerve telling me to get out of borrowed clothing considering you refused to give me your shirt earlier, when you left me naked!”
“Going naked for a shifter is no big deal.”
“Was that a dig? Because I can’t shift?”
His face paled slightly, perhaps realizing what he’d said. His hands fisted at his side and his torso straightened. “I was angry, and I wanted you to hurt as much as me, but I see you got over that really fast. The second you finished screwing me, you moved your stuff into Frank’s house. Why?”
She wasn’t sure what was going on between them, why he was so mad, but it needed to end. “There’s been enough misunderstandings between us for one day, Damien, so listen up. You and I are done. As for why I’m staying at Frank’s, that’s none of your damn business.”
“Everything here is my business. I’m the alpha here. You’re screwing Frank, aren’t you?”
She could feel the crowd gathering, watching. The noise of burnt timber being dislodged and dirt shoveled onto hot ashes stopped. She was too angry to care if she had an audience.
“Fine, Alpha. I’ll tell you exactly what happened. I woke up from a fever and days in bed feeling like elephants had been doing aerobics on my body. I needed to get away from that vampire, Alex, and be someplace that didn’t remind me of Aloe or you. I headed to Frank’s since I knew he was away. I figured I could rest and think there, without anyone bothering me. I didn’t expect some asshole to intrude and attack me.”
“I didn’t attack you. And you could have said, ‘No.’”
“Maybe I didn’t want to see you suffering any longer. I gave you what I thought you needed, only for you to leave me there naked and feeling dirtier than shit. I borrowed one of Frank’s shirts because, even though I’m still shifter, I don’t prefer to go traipsing through camp half naked, especially when it’s someone’s way of humiliating me. If I’m going to walk around naked, it will be by my choice, no one else’s.
“My choice, Damien, like where I live. I didn’t want to be anywhere near you or your house at that point because you seem to think I’m your sex toy. Ask anyone here...” She waved her arm around in a circle to indicate the crowd that had gathered.
“That’s what they call me. Your little sex toy. Or maybe you don’t know that because you haven’t been listening to what they say about me any more than you listen to what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
His lips parted. She held up her hand before he could speak. “I’m not done. You asked a question, I fully intend to answer everything, Alpha, so there’s no misunderstanding between us. After I grabbed my stuff from Aloe’s and dumped it at Frank’s, I went out for a walk. I fell asleep by the lake and woke up to find out my stuff has burned up. So where does that leave me? Back at square one with no clothing to my name, no home, and that’s right, no pack or family of my own because the fucking WSSO killed them all, leaving me nowhere else to go.
“Except now it’s even worse because the asshole who I thought I cared about apparently doesn’t care about me at all. Instead of trusting me, he starts accusing me of sleeping around. As if my reputation around here wasn’t bad enough, he needs to put me on display and humiliate me. Look at the human who claims she’s a shifter. She’s not only a liar but a liar and a whore. Maybe I should go back to the WSSO because being used a lab rat was a hell of a lot better than being used and treated as a whore.”
Damien stood there, like a statue, making her so frustrated all she wanted to do was hit him, but quite frankly she didn’t have the strength. She stomped away a few feet, then stopped, and turned.
“I don’t care if you or anyone else in this pack think I’m a shifter or not. I know who I am and where I come from, even if I’ve lost my abilities to shift. So screw you, screw you all.” She stripped off Frank’s shirt, flung it at Damien, spun around and kept walking, until she could no longer hear anyone behind her.
* * *
DAMIEN
“Way to fuck up,” Hayden said as he glared at Damien.
Damien was too stunned to feel anything except complete and utter shame. His packmates averted their eyes as they walked past Damien, or they returned to making sure the fire was completely out, avoiding him completely. At least forty shifters had witnessed the whole damn fight. Now they knew what a fucked-up mess and asshole he was.
Blade approached with a cocky smile. He probably saw this as the beginning of his opportunity to woo Tess away from Damien. Hell, Blade didn’t have to woo her away from Damien. She was already gone. He had seen to that on his own.
“Great tits on her,” Blade said.
Damien turned and punched Blade in the face. Damien would have landed a second punch, except Hayden and Frank quickly restrained him.
Blade was rubbing his jaw. “Let him go. I don’t think he’s done yet. I know I’m not. I haven’t told him about how great her ass fills out those jeans.”
Damien raged against the shifters holding him.
“Are you crazy, Blade? Shut up!” Hayden yelled.
Blade stepped forward, his dark eyes swirling with challenge. “How does it feel, Damien? Knowing you’ve lost the respect of half the shifters in this camp? I bet you want to rip my throat out right now, but you can’t, because that would mean giving in to your wolf, and that’s the last thing you can do. You can’t control your wolf or the one shifter who matters most to you.”
Hayden and Frank released Damien, and for a second Damien had the urge to shred Blade, at least that’s what Damien’s wolf was telling him to do. He was barely holding his wolf back when Blade got into his face.
“I joined your pack because of what I saw in you, your capacity to accept others for who they are and to treat them with respect. I’m not seeing a lot of that, lately. And while I’ve pledged my loyalty to you, and I’ll remain loyal to you no matter how much of an ass you become, she won’t. So, pound me into the dirt if it will help you gain control of your wolf and then get on your knees and learn to grovel. Because the way I see it right now, you’ve just lost the best thing that ever happened to you, and you’re going to need your head on straight if you’re going to get her back.”
Damien took a step toward Blade. From the movement to his right, Damien knew Frank and Hayden were preparing to tackle him if necessary. Blade stood there, his chin lifted high and his body ready for Damien to attack. Damien walked toward Blade and stepped to the side, stopping when their shoulders were aligned. Damien kept his voice low and, without looking at Blade or anyone behind him, said, “Thank you.”
* * *
TESS
Tess was shivering as she sat in the grass, staring at the lake. That was dumb, giving up her shirt like that. The temperature had dropped significantly in the last few days. She needed to get some clothes, find a place to sleep. Right now, all she wanted to do was sleep.
She couldn’t even think about Damien without getting mad at him and herself. She had let him get to her, at a time when she knew his wolf was riding him hard, playing on his insecurities and fears. It didn’t excuse most of what he’d said, but she understood his lashing out at her. If she didn’t love him, then it wouldn’t hurt so much. Despite her grand speech back there,
Damien cared about her.
She would have to make the hard decision in this case, since he wasn’t able to. As soon as she got her strength back, she would ask Blade or one of the others to lead her into Devil’s Peak, or any other town. The quicker she got away from Damien, the quicker he could blood-bond Aloe, or whoever he wanted, and the quicker she could start rebuilding her life. Her head sank into her hands. She didn’t even know where to start.
A bag plopped down in front of her. Tess closed her eyes, searching for strength. Damien was behind her. She could feel his presence, his soul, through all the anger and frustration separating them.
“It’s too cold out here to be half-dressed. There are several shirts in there, take your pick.”
Pride wanted her to throw the bag back to him, but she was cold. She opened the bag. On top was one of Damien’s shirts, but right below it, was Frank’s shirt, the one she was wearing earlier. Beneath those lay a few tops she didn’t recognize.
“Whose are these?” she asked, picking up the women’s blouses that ranged from small to large.
“Not sure exactly. The women are all mad at me. Shannon brought those over and said I better get my shit together or else.”
“Or else what?” she asked, turning her head to see him. Her strong, vibrant shifter looked horrible. His skin was pasty and his eyes dulled. The set of his jaw was overly tight, which only accentuated his deep frown.
He shrugged. “I’m afraid to ask. I didn’t know women could be so scary. I’m kind of afraid to go back to camp.”
There he was: the humble, easy-going Damien she remembered. The shifter who had stayed with her in the hallway when she had collapsed, the shifter who had shamelessly flirted with her late at night in the kitchen, and the shifter who had carried her for two hours back to the pack after Ian had attacked her, all rolled into one sweet, strong guy who really could be clueless, but far from heartless.
Her hand was caressing Damien’s shirt. She wanted to wear it, but at the same time he needed to understand she had choices, that she belonged to no one other than herself. Tess pulled a woman’s red, button-down shirt from the bag. Damien relaxed slightly, probably because she hadn’t chosen Frank’s shirt.
“There’s nothing going on between me and Frank,” she said, to reassure Damien. She shouldn’t have to reassure him or apologize for her actions, but he was working really hard to stay calm, and she didn’t hate him or want to make him feel bad. There’d been enough of that already.
“Ah, hell,” he said as he dragged his hand over his face. “I’m sorry for everything I did, for being an ass, for all of it, Tess.”
“Do you even know what you did and what you’re apologizing for?”
“I shouldn’t have accused you of fooling around with Frank. I kind of lost it when I realized you’d chosen to stay with him instead of me.”
“Kind of lost it?” She sighed, trying to let it go. “And? What else am I mad about?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure.”
“Then why are you apologizing?”
“Because Aloe told me to?”
“Is that a question or a statement?”
“A bit of both, I guess.”
“You really have no clue what you’re doing, do you?”
“I thought I did, until you asked that question.”
“And if she told you to jump off a bridge, would you?”
“I was told to defer all major decisions to Hayden and Callen. After my loss of self-control today, I’m guessing they would say ‘Yes.’”
“Probably,” she said, trying to hold in a grin. Oh, she could really have fun with this, but she wasn’t going to do that to Damien. Not now with the looming threat of the WSSO and not with how much he was struggling to keep his wolf under control. “You hurt me, back at Frank’s house, Damien.”
“I… Hell. I didn’t hear you tell me to stop, Tess. I would have, no matter how mad I was. I would have stopped.”
“I didn’t want you to stop. I wanted to be with you. But you tried to force me into saying I’d stay, that I’d blood-bond you. When I didn’t agree, you left me there, naked and cold, like when you found me in that cage. I felt like I didn’t matter, like what we had just shared didn’t matter. It made me feel cheap and used. Disposable. The same as how the WSSO made me feel.”
He winced. “It’s no excuse, but I was hurting. I am hurting, Tess. I need you, and yet I’m losing you. I know you deserve better than me, but I love you, Tess. I have from the moment I saw you. I just didn’t know it then.”
Her heart raced, and her soul called out to him, but she couldn’t show her true feelings to Damien. She had to be strong, so they both could move forward.
“Lust and love are two different emotions. One satisfies the body for a short time; the other is the foundation of a life together. What we have isn’t love, Damien. You’ll see that once you blood-bond another. As for the lust, what we did today can never happen again. It’s not the way to start off your relationship with Aloe.”
With his hands on his hips, he walked off a bit, then strolled back, unusually calm. “I know I’m not thinking clearly right now, which is why I can’t accept what you’re saying.”
“Damien—”
“As for Aloe, I could never blood-bond her. She’s my sister-in-law.”
Tess’s cheeks heated. “Your sister-in-law? Then Zach was—”
“My brother. That’s why Aloe’s special to me. She’s all I have left of Zach, the only one who really knew him, who I can talk to about him.”
To think she had been pushing them together. “I feel so stupid.”
“You had no way of knowing.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“What, that she’s family? Then you would have avoided her, and you needed a friend here. And Aloe’s lonely too, maybe more so than you.”
“I never said I’m lonely.”
“You don’t have to.” The blue in his eyes darkened. “I see it in your face, and I hear it in your voice. Like I hear how much you want me.”
Why did he have to go there? She was enjoying talking with him, even if it was about how she had been an idiot trying to push Aloe on him.
“I’ll find another shifter for you, Damien. I promised you I would.”
“And if you don’t, will you blood-bond me, Tess?” There was no pressure or attempt at manipulation in his words, just a simple and honest request.
She bit her lip. “I can’t,” she said, barely able to get the words out.
“I know that’s what you think. You need to have a little faith sometimes.”
Faith? Faith that someone would come to find her and bring her home to her family and pack? Faith that they’d be there waiting for her with open arms, waiting to soothe her, to help her forget all the pain of what the WSSO had done to her? Or faith that she’d shift again as soon as she got out of that damn cage?
“Faith is for fools, Damien,” she said even as she wanted to hold him, to tell him they would be fine and that she loved him more than she thought it possible to love another person. Faith wouldn’t change the reality, it wouldn’t give her Damien.
“I’ll find you someone to blood-bond, and when the time comes, you’ll have no choice but to accept her because I won’t be here.”
* * *
DAMIEN
Damien pushed the small rocks beneath his feet to the side of the cave. He toed the dirt, ignoring the screams.
“I told you everything I know! No more, please!” Rinn was sobbing as Callen switched to a long thin blade and ran the blade along Rinn’s shoulder without cutting him. The enforcer’s skill at flaying a shifter was frighteningly good, but it was his ability to terrorize a shifter that often gained the best information.
“You had your chance,” Callen said as he turned the knife on its edge and began cutting.
The coppery scent of blood and the foul stench of urine filled the air as Rinn screamed so loud that for a moment Damien feared that his pa
ck would hear. Years ago, Callen had chosen this location far from the cabins and center of the pack to ensure that the shifters of their pack would not hear the screams of their enemies. Rinn had been one of their own, which made the concern that others might hear extra worrisome.
The sight and smell of Rinn bleeding should have affected Damien, but it didn’t. His wolf thirsted for revenge. Even if Damien had wanted to turn away, it wasn’t a choice. He was the pack’s alpha, and Tess’s mate—if she would ever have him. That’s what tore at his heart, more than having to listen to Rinn’s screams. Rinn had been a trusted shifter once, but he had tried to murder Damien’s sweet Tess and he had betrayed the pack. Even if he survived Callen’s interrogation, Rinn was lost to them.
Tess… What was Damien going to do about her? She still refused to blood-bond him, and now she, Aloe, and Frank were living in Aloe’s house. The women shared a bed while Frank took the guest bedroom. It worried Damien that Tess refused to move back into his house, but he didn’t have a choice. It seemed he didn’t have a lot of choices where she was concerned. As for Frank moving in with the women, Damien kept his mouth shut when he heard about that. Frank needed a place to stay, and now more than ever, Tess needed protection.
“Make him stop, Alpha!” Rinn said, blood oozing down his shoulder from where the skin had been removed.
“You know how this goes,” Hayden said from where he leaned against the wall of the cave. “Information, Rinn. That’s the only thing that will save you.”
Damien glared at Hayden. Nothing would save Rinn as far as Damien was concerned, not even delivering the person or persons behind the attempt on Tess’s life.
As Callen stepped in to resume his work, Damien waved him aside.
“You tried to burn my mate alive,” Damien said, leaning in so close that Rinn would not only feel the heat of his breath, but he would smell Damien’s need for his blood.
Damien’s Dilemma Page 26
