Going Through the Change

by Samantha Bryant

  Ms. Liu grabbed her wrist. Her hand seemed very strong. Jessica looked up in surprise. “I must insist you stay until we finish the testing,” Ms. Liu said, her voice icy and her face emotionless, a frightening intensity in her eyes. She removed a hypodermic needle from her jacket pocket and stuck Jessica with it in a sudden darting movement.

  Jessica had no time to react or protest. She grabbed her arm where she’d been stuck through her thin sweater. “What are you doing?” she yelped and then hit the floor.

  essica woke in a glass tube. She thought she must still be asleep and was having some kind of science fiction dream about long-term space travel. If it were a movie, she would sit up and frantically ask someone what year it was. But this wasn’t a movie, and Jessica was confused.

  Her head felt fuzzy, and the inside of her mouth was cottony and dry. She turned her head and groaned. The little movement revealed a massive headache. She raised her arms to pull at her hair. She had read somewhere that headaches came from lack of blood flow and pulling your hair could stimulate the circulation. But when Jessica bent her elbows, a pain shot up her arm into her shoulder. She looked down at her right elbow and saw that there was an IV needle affixed at the bend with white medical tape.

  The pain helped Jessica focus through the strange grogginess. She tried to remember what had happened. She had gone to visit Dr. Liu, who was going to help her with her problem. Feeling uneasy, she looked down. Her feet were bare and weren’t touching the bottom of the tube. Her ankle weights had been removed.

  What had happened? Dr. Liu had asked a bunch of questions, but then it was time to go. She’d try to leave. Then what? It flashed into her memory: Dr. Liu’s grim and unyielding face and the needle in her hand.

  Fully awake now, Jessica pushed against the walls of what she was starting to realize was her cage, but met with only resistance. Fighting down her panic, Jessica looked for a way out. The glass right in front of her face was a little cloudy, probably from her own heavy breathing. She raised the arm that wasn’t impaled on a needle and wiped the steam away with her hand.

  Through the smeary window, she could see a large room, lined in white and chrome. Where was she? Leaning forward, she pressed her forehead against the glass, trying to see into the wider room. The window felt cool against her head, and there was a soothing vibration. Jessica took a slow breath, ignoring the hitches in it, and then another and another. If she was going to get out of here, wherever here was, she was going to have to get it together.

  A flurry of movement caught her eye. Along one wall, there was a line of wire box cages. Jessica could see the animals inside jumping and hurling themselves at the bars. That was when she realized she couldn’t hear anything, not a bark, whimper, or cry of any of the animals, not the cages shaking. She realized the tube must block out sound. She heard an airy whirring sort of sound, and that was all.

  A moment later, she saw what had caused the animals to react. Dr. Liu had entered the room. Jessica fought down another attack of panic at the sight of the woman. She pushed her body downward and leaned to the side of the tube, trying to get a better look at Cindy Liu.

  Dr. Liu was standing at a work table in front of the wall of animal cages. She was dressed in a lab coat that swirled to mid-calf. Her back was to Jessica, her attention focused on a rack of vials in front of her. From this angle, it was impossible to see her face, but Jessica could see her movements. She appeared to be completing some sort of complicated process.

  Dr. Liu picked up a long green stone and then dropped it into a small machine. After a moment or two, she dumped a powder out of the machine into a small bowl. She added something from a triangular flask on the table to the powder and stirred it, making a bright green liquid. Using a syringe, Dr. Liu added drops of the liquid to each of the vials in the rack on the table.

  After each addition, she held the vial up to the light, swirling it and examining it. Then she placed the vial back on the rack and typed some notes into the same small laptop she had been using when she interviewed Jessica.

  The procedure took a long time, and Jessica watched with interest, watching for anything she could use against her captor. She seethed with anger that this woman had trapped her like this when she had come to her for help. An opportunity would come, and when it did, Jessica intended to be ready for it. She’d see Dr. Liu pay.

  After Dr. Liu finished mixing the various vials and making her notes, the horrible part came. She removed a rabbit from a cage first. She inserted a hypodermic needle into the first of the vials, drawing up the green liquid inside and then injecting the animal. The creature went into convulsions of obvious pain. Dr. Liu was barely able to keep hold of it as it pushed with its back legs and twisted in her arms.

  Jessica felt sick watching but also couldn’t look away. The animal was in such pain. When the convulsions stopped, the rabbit was put back into its cage, where it lay on its side, panting visibly. Jessica was sure Dr. Liu was some kind of sadist or madwoman. Her fear skyrocketed again. She began pounding on the sides of the tube, praying that she might find a weak spot.

  As her anxiety rose, so did her body. Before long, her head was pressed up against the top of the tube, her body bent awkwardly as it tried to rise in an area too confined to allow that to happen. It was hard to breathe.

  Then she heard Dr. Liu’s voice telling her to relax. “It will be easier if you relax, Jessica. Take a deep breath.”

  There was a hissing sound, and Jessica suddenly felt sleepy. As she slipped into unconsciousness, the last thing she saw was Dr. Liu’s face staring back at her through the glass. The doctor had her head tilted to the side and examining her with an expression of excitement. That was more frightening than anything else she had seen.

  When Jessica woke again, there was a new bandage on her forearm, her throat was raw, and she had a killer headache. The headache was so strong Jessica was seeing a bright white light that seemed to sear into her brain. Only when she was able to block out the light with her hand did Jessica realize the light was external. It was some kind of shop light, she guessed. It was incredibly bright and made it impossible to see anything else.

  Pulling her knees into her chest, Jessica sank down into the bottom of the tube. Since most of the tube was made of a hard, clear material, Jessica could see out a panel at what would have been her knee level, were she standing.

  Resting her head against the tube, she tried to see out. The now-familiar humming thrummed at a different frequency than her headache. The combination of vibrations made her teeth hurt, but she didn’t move her head. She wanted to see what her captor was doing. She didn’t know how she was going to get out of this, but she would, and when she did, she was going to hurt that woman.

  A pair of legs walked past Jessica’s view. They were bare, and the feet were wearing simple, black ballet-style shoes. A long white lab coat flapped against the back of the knees. So, the doctor was still working, or was working, again. Jessica didn’t know how long she had been unconscious. That thought gave her hope. Her mother would have picked up the boys hours ago. She knew that Jessica was coming to Dr. Liu’s. Help might be on the way right now.

  There wasn’t much to see from down in the bottom of the tube, but it was easier to think without that horribly bright light shining in her face. After a moment or two, Jessica realized she could hear the sounds of Dr. Liu moving around the lab. When the crazy bitch had turned on the speaker to communicate with Jessica, before she gassed her into unconsciousness, Dr. Liu must have left it on.

  At first, Jessica couldn’t make much sense of what she was hearing. There were some clatters and thuds, a few animal noises, which made Jessica remember the poor animals in the cages. Had any of the rest of them suffered like the rabbit? She heard a machine making a whirring sound.

  Then the feet returned. This time, they were raised off the ground slightly and tucked around a metal bar. Jessica realized Dr. Liu must have been sitting on a stool right outside her prison. She closed her ey
es, mimicking sleep. Maybe she would hear something.

  At first, all she heard was keys clattering as the woman typed on her computer. She started to doze a little. But she startled awake when she heard Dr. Liu’s voice. Luckily, the doctor’s attention was not turned on her but on the little computer again, so Jessica could still observe her unnoticed.

  The voice was very loud, like an announcement, and Jessica didn’t understand why Dr. Liu would be speaking so loudly to herself. Then there was a click, and the same words repeated. Jessica realized the doctor must have been listening to a recording and making notes. Jessica let her head droop, so her hair would hide her expression more fully, and focused her attention on the words.

  A lot of it didn’t make sense to her, but she could tell she was hearing experiment notes.

  “Subject seven had an adverse reaction to the serum,” she said.

  Jessica wondered if that had been the rabbit. While subject three “had not aged,” it’s “regression had slowed.” Jessica wondered what subject number she was. Having seen how the doctor had treated the animals in her experiments, she worried for her own safety.

  “Must obtain additional supply of emeralds,” Dr. Liu’s clipped recorded voice reported. Dr. Liu stepped down from the stool, and Jessica watched her feet cross the lab to the work table lined with all the herbs and minerals. She closed her eyes again when she saw the feet come back, in case Dr. Liu decided to check on her captive.

  She heard a phone ringing and was confused by the sound at first, until she realized Dr. Liu was using the speaker phone. There was a series of recorded menus in a language Jessica didn’t know and assumed was Chinese. The conversation with what seemed to be a saleswoman was also in Chinese, but Jessica could tell Dr. Liu was not happy about the order from the anger in her voice. When she hung up, she muttered something like, “Three to six weeks? Ridiculous! There has to be a way to get more sooner.”

  Jessica peered out through her hair one last time, anxious to see what the woman was up to. Dr. Liu was standing just outside the tube, holding something in her hand that she was counting. As she turned to put the objects into a small plastic bag, she dropped one. Jessica saw it glinting on the floor. It was a beautiful green stone, cut into a long shard. It seemed almost alive somehow. If she had been able to, Jessica would have picked it up. She wanted to know what it felt like, if it would be cool or warm against her skin, rough or smooth. Lost in contemplating the gem, Jessica didn’t notice when Dr. Liu left the lab, until the whole room went suddenly dark.

  nce the nearly-weeping former employee, Marcie, had left, Patricia spun her desk chair in a circle and stretched her arms out wide. “That, my girl, was a great morning! A promotion and a firing.” Suzie grinned at the compliment, which, unfortunately, made her look about thirteen years old. But Patricia was getting past that. Suzie might be young, but she was Patricia’s kind of woman: capable, analytical, forward-thinking.

  Patricia was energized by the easy flow of the morning. She really loved a kick-ass-and-take-no-prisoners kind of day, and she saw too few of them in the corporate world where everyone was so damn politic all the time. She tired of how her co-workers were always pussyfooting around. They thought conflict was something to avoid. You couldn’t ever just move in a straight line from point A to point B.

  A day like today was a rare treat. It was good to lose herself in the work and not think about her skin for a while. Her brain was still buzzing from her phone conversation with Cindy the night before. Cindy went on about what the skin looked like under the microscope and how it was a breakthrough. She hadn’t said anything about how to get Patricia’s skin back to normal. Patricia had hardly slept; she was so worried about what it meant. Would she be this way forever? But after the morning’s work, she felt strong and excited, ready to take on the next mountain.

  “And good timing, too! You’ll have time to take a breather before your next appointment arrives,” Suzie said, clearing away the files and charts and settling them into their cabinets and folders. Suzie had been great during the meeting, anticipating what document Patricia would want and having it right there in her hand at the right moment.

  The positive glow fading quickly, Patricia said, “I didn’t ask for another appointment.” She frowned. Forward-thinking was one thing, but she was in charge of her own day, and Suzie had overstepped her bounds if she scheduled something without getting the go-ahead from her.

  “It’s a doctor I found who will come to the office and see to your shoulders. He’s very discreet. No one will even know he’s here.”

  “What?” Patricia stood, feeling her face flush with rage. She drew up to her full height and loomed over the smaller woman. “Who asked you to get involved in my personal affairs?”

  Suzie stepped back but didn’t break Patricia’s gaze. “I am your assistant, Ms. O’Neill. I am responsible for making sure you have everything you need. That includes your health and well-being.”

  Patricia stepped around the desk, closing the few steps that separated them in a single long stride. “What makes you think I can’t take care of my own medical needs?” It wasn’t like she wasn’t seeking help. She’d gone to Cindy’s and submitted to her testing. She would call her again this afternoon to talk about the results in more detail and about how to deal with this. What good was another doctor going to be? She was growing armor plating, not suffering from simple eczema! Patricia’s chest felt tight. She tugged at the neckline of her blouse impatiently.

  Suzie looked up into Patricia’s face, unflinchingly. “It’s not that you can’t. But you won’t. You don’t think it’s important, but I’m telling you”—Suzie grabbed Patricia’s arm and dragged her over to the closet mirror, pointing at the bulges visible through the suddenly tight sleeves of her blouse―“this is not normal!”

  Patricia flung out an arm, catching the mirror with the back of her hand. The mirror shattered, and Suzie squealed and threw herself back, away from the flying shards.

  Patricia whirled on Suzie. Her voice seemed to have thickened in her throat. She sounded raspy, like a pack-a-day smoker with a cold. “You think I don’t know that? Of course, I know. But it’s not your place, missy. My life and my body are my business!”

  Suzie gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. “Ms. O’Neill!” She reached a hand toward Patricia’s extended arm. The look on her face was strange: part panic and fear, part concern, and part something that might have been fascination. “The glass!”

  Patricia looked down at her forearm and found a thick shard of the mirror sticking into the flesh. She couldn’t feel it and wondered if that meant she had severed a nerve. Then she noticed there was no blood. The shard might as well have been stuck into the sheetrock. She stopped, fascinated and appalled at the same time. She grabbed at the shard with her other hand, which was looking distinctly claw-like, and plucked it out. She didn’t feel a thing.

  Patricia felt as though she couldn’t breathe. Suzie was leaning against the desk, holding on to it like she might need its support to keep her from falling onto the floor. Patricia dropped to her knees, wrapping her claw hands over her head, like the danger was falling from the ceiling. In the scattered shards on the floor, she saw pieces of her reflection―the gray-green scales that covered her neck and cheeks, the yellowish spikes sticking out of her shoulders through her white silk blouse, now shredded and hanging in pieces from her shoulders. If it weren’t for her red hair, she wouldn’t believe it was herself she saw in the reflections. She was a monster.

  She ran from the office, ignoring her intern’s calls behind her. She had to get to Cindy. She had to get help.

  inda had tried all day yesterday to reach Jessica. She was worried about the younger woman. She so obviously needed a friend and not just because of her gravity problems. Whether she knew it or not, her marriage was in trouble as well.

  Once she and David had gotten her off the ceiling and back into her weights, she and Jessica had talked the afternoon away while Davi
d finished fixing the light fixture. David had even made a comment about how this was a job and not a hen party.

  The breakfast and shopping expedition the next day had cemented Linda’s affection for the young woman. In many ways, she reminded Linda of her baby sister, the one they had not been able to save. It made Linda want to help her that much more.

  Her mind circled back to the strangeness of finding out that they both used Dr. Liu’s products. She hadn’t yet told Jessica about her transformation. The woman had enough to deal with in her own problems. The coincidence was too much to ignore, and Linda wanted to talk to Jessica about it. It might have been time to be more forthcoming about her own issues.

  Linda rolled over and patted David on the shoulder. “David?” He murmured something in his half-sleep that sounded distinctly like “gallinas chocolates.” Linda smiled. Chocolate chickens? That couldn’t be right. “David, despiértate. Wake up, my love.” Finally, he rolled onto his back, and she could look at his slightly puffy, sleep-smooshed face. It was wonderful to have him back in their bed.

  Last night, their fumbles had finally turned into something that had worked for both of them. David had been patient night after night, assuring her that they would find a way. She didn’t understand how he could be so sure, until he had finally confessed he had a male lover in his youth. She knew it had been hard for him to admit that out loud. It was one of those things that happened a lot, but no one spoke of. David had blushed when he told her and refused to look her in the eye. Linda had to laugh, given that she was sitting naked in their bed in the body of a man. Obviously, she didn’t have a problem with the concept of men loving men.

  It hadn’t been perfect last night, but it had been good. She had been able to make David’s eyes fall closed and his breathing shift into the pattern that told her she had found the right touch. When he had used his mouth on her, she had almost broken the bedpost. At last, she understood what the fuss had been about.