by Brad Fraser
That’s your plan?
ROYCE
It’s more like a destiny.
DAVID
What do you really enjoy?
ROYCE
I don’t—computer games I guess.
DAVID
Okay. Good. So concentrate on computer games. Design them. Change them.
ROYCE
I suck at creative shit.
Pause.
DAVID
I don’t know what else to say.
ROYCE
There’s something wrong with me.
DAVID
Wrong how?
ROYCE
I’m like beyond average. Super average or something.
DAVID
Adulthood is different. You can move somewhere else and completely reinvent yourself. A number of times if you have to. Find someone else to emulate. Adopt traits you find attractive in others. It can be done. Trust me.
ROYCE
People shouldn’t tell ordinary kids they’re special. It fucks them up when they get older and realize they’re not special.
Pause.
DAVID
Royce it’s very late.
ROYCE
Do you want me to come up?
DAVID
Come up?
ROYCE
To your apartment.
DAVID
For what?
ROYCE
Talking whatever.
DAVID
You should go home.
Pause.
ROYCE
If I was a hot guy you would’ve hired me.
DAVID
And if I was a beautiful woman I’d be a movie star. What’s your point?
ROYCE
Nothing night thanks.
DAVID
Take it easy.
ROYCE exits. DAVID watches him leave. A light rises on KANE waiting in the kitchen, drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette in front of the open window. ROYCE enters. KANE tosses the cigarette out the window.
ROYCE
Aren’t you afraid of giving all of us cancer?
KANE
Your mother is upstairs trying to convince herself you haven’t been killed in an accident.
ROYCE
Lost track.
KANE
Where did you go?
ROYCE
Nowhere.
KANE
You know you’re not supposed to have the car out this late.
ROYCE
I buy gas.
KANE
I think you should—talk to a professional.
ROYCE
Professional what?
KANE
Counsellor or therapist.
ROYCE
You think I’m crazy.
KANE
I think you might need some.
ROYCE
I don’t.
KANE
We’re your family.
ROYCE
I’m nothing like you people.
KANE
You’re part of us.
ROYCE
You’re pissed.
KANE
I’ve had three beers.
ROYCE
I’m fine.
KANE
What’s the harm in talking to someone?
ROYCE
I don’t want to.
KANE
I know you’ve been having a rough time.
ROYCE
You don’t know anything.
KANE
There are issues.
ROYCE
There are no fucking issues.
KANE
Things we should.
ROYCE
I’m not discussing anything with anyone.
KANE
What do you want me to do?
ROYCE
Make me not ugly. Teach me to understand how people work.
KANE
You’re not ugly.
ROYCE
Quit lying to me.
CAROLYN enters.
CAROLYN
Everything okay?
ROYCE
Dad’s acting creepy.
KANE
Stop it.
CAROLYN
You can’t use the car anymore.
ROYCE
Like I care.
ROYCE exits.
CAROLYN
I can tell that went well.
KANE
He’s got a terrible attitude.
CAROLYN
You know confrontation doesn’t work with him.
KANE
I did my best.
KANE moves to exit.
CAROLYN
Where are you going?
KANE
Outside for a cigarette.
CAROLYN
Fine.
Lights rise on MADISON setting tables at the restaurant. DAVID is setting plates of food and a carafe of wine on another table.
DAVID
Shrimp sautéed in garlic and olive oil over penne. And wine.
MADISON
Sounds great.
DAVID
It was the least I could do after you picked up those extra tables.
MADISON joins DAVID.
MADISON
Who knew Alena would have a meltdown?
DAVID
She’s pregnant poor thing.
MADISON
Bummer. Delicious. Wow.
DAVID
Don’t let it go to your head but I think you do an amazing job on the floor Maddy.
MADISON
Blame it on the fascist who runs the dump.
DAVID
Quality counts.
MADISON
You ever had sex with a woman?
DAVID
You have no internal censor at all do you?
MADISON
No so?
DAVID
A few. Not in a very long time.
MADISON
I’ve had sex with a couple women.
DAVID
Good for you.
MADISON
I guess that’s why I didn’t freak out when I found out about Dad and you. I know what it’s like to want to try different things.
DAVID
Your father’s daughter.
MADISON
Gay is so over. The word doesn’t really mean anything anymore. Like Negro or Jewess. It’s all just sex. I could probably have a relationship with a girl. If she had a cock. I really like cock.
DAVID
Who doesn’t?
MADISON
When I was fifteen I got this crush on this client of my dad’s. He was this divorced guy in his mid-thirties.
DAVID
An older man.
MADISON
We used to meet at this hotel once a week and fuck like pigs. He told the staff I was his niece. I told my folks I was tutoring retards for extra karma. He moved to San Diego and married some fucking telephone exec bitch his own age my graduating year. I was like functionally depressed for eight months. Really.
DAVID
Why don’t you go out with boys your own age?
MADISON
They’re really bad sex.
DAVID
You have to teach them what to do.
MADISON
Get a hooker. I t
hink I’m a fag. In a woman’s body. I understand you guys too well. I get it. Well not some of those old singers but the sex and everything else. I get it.
DAVID
Why are you telling me all this?
MADISON
Because I really want to fuck you.
Pause.
DAVID
I’m—management.
MADISON
David.
DAVID
I’m gay.
MADISON
Doesn’t mean anything.
MADISON begins to move toward DAVID.
DAVID
I don’t even know if.
MADISON
You’ve done porn.
DAVID
Stay back.
MADISON puts her arms around DAVID’s neck.
MADISON
I have condoms.
DAVID
You’re only doing this because of my connection to your father.
MADISON
I prefer men who are nothing like my father.
Pause.
DAVID
This isn’t real.
MADISON
What is?
They kiss suddenly and passionately. They begin to undo one another’s clothes. Fade to black.
ACT TWO
Lights rise on DAVID and MADISON sprawled across a table, sweaty and dishevelled, breathing heavily, partially dressed. DAVID gets off of her. They straighten their clothing, close zippers, locate panties, dispose of the condom, etc. Neither speaks. Finally.
DAVID
So.
MADISON
Yeah.
Pause.
DAVID
How was I?
MADISON
Not bad. For a fag.
DAVID
You seem.
MADISON
It’s alright.
DAVID
Really?
MADISON
Really.
Pause.
DAVID
I should.
MADISON
Yes.
DAVID
Good.
MADISON
Okay.
DAVID
Everything’s?
MADISON
Fine fine.
KANE enters.
KANE
Madison.
MADISON
Daddy?
DAVID
Kane.
KANE
Do you have any idea what time it is?
MADISON
No.
DAVID
We got.
MADISON
Talking.
KANE
Your mother’s very.
MADISON
I can’t believe you’d come here like this.
KANE
There was no answer on your cell.
MADISON
I turn it off at work.
KANE
We should.
MADISON
I’ve got Mom’s car.
KANE
Go ahead.
MADISON exits.
You okay?
DAVID
Yeah fine why?
KANE
I dunno. You look kinda—funny.
DAVID
I’m just tired.
KANE
That night at dinner. I hope you didn’t take what Carolyn said the wrong way. She didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or anything like that.
DAVID
I know.
KANE
Everyone puts their foot in their mouth once in a while right?
DAVID
Right. Kane—how is your relationship with your kids?
KANE
Good. Why?
DAVID
They just seem to.
KANE
What?
DAVID
They like to talk.
KANE
To you?
DAVID
Yeah.
KANE
I want to talk to them. I try. But they just don’t seem interested. Royce gets further away all the time.
DAVID
It’s a challenge.
KANE
Has he told you something he hasn’t told me that might make everything alright?
DAVID
Nope.
KANE
Damn.
Pause.
David please fire Madison. Please.
DAVID
I can’t.
KANE
Something—this is really messing up my family. Ever since she started working here.
DAVID
I can’t fire someone because their parents are uncomfortable. There are laws against that kind of thing now.
KANE
Can’t you find some excuse?
DAVID
Unfortunately she’s an excellent waiter.
KANE
Shit.
DAVID
We’re stuck for the time being.
KANE
She shouldn’t be working here.
DAVID
I’ve come to agree.
KANE
And there’s nothing you can do?
DAVID
I wish there were.
KANE
You had no business coming back here.
DAVID
I didn’t have a lot of other options.
KANE
I know how interesting things get when you show up. I don’t want things to get interesting.
DAVID
I didn’t want to see you any more than you wanted to see me.
KANE
Okay. Good. Great.
DAVID
And I promise if I can find a way to let Madison go I’ll do it.
KANE
I’d appreciate it.
DAVID
And our paths will never intersect again.
KANE
Great.
KANE exits. DAVID sits at the table and pours himself a large glass of wine. Lights rise on CAROLYN cleaning the sink in the kitchen. MADISON enters.
CAROLYN
There are only two reasons anyone stays out until this time of the morning and they are sex and drugs.
MADISON
I have a right to my own life.
CAROLYN
You don’t have the right to keep us up all night.
MADISON
Okay. True. It’s time I.
CAROLYN
Move out?
MADISON
I’m making enough money to get my own place.
CAROLYN
If you get your own place you’ll never go back to school.
MADISON
People do it all the time.
CAROLYN
It’s very hard.
MADISON
Mom you’ve been hinting for me to move out of here for a year. Why are you changing that now?
CAROLYN
I’m not.
MADISON
Are you in menopause or something?
CAROLYN
THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!
Long pause.
MADISON
Sit down.
CAROLYN
I’m.
MADISON
>
Sit.
CAROLYN sits.
CAROLYN
Sorry I didn’t sorry.
MADISON
You were totally unhinged for a second there.
CAROLYN
I’m just overtired. Really.
MADISON
What’s going on?
CAROLYN
Don’t listen to me. Move out. Get your own place. Have a life. It’s important.
MADISON
I’ll make some tea.
CAROLYN
Don’t bother sweetie. I’m okay.
MADISON
What’s with you?
CAROLYN
I don’t know. I can’t sleep—can’t shake this feeling there’s something I’m supposed to be doing—something that I keep missing.
MADISON
What is it?
CAROLYN
I was raised to get married as soon as I finished school. It’s what my mother did. It’s what her mother did. I never even questioned it.
MADISON
Are you now?
CAROLYN
I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do next.
MADISON
Everything you put off when you got married.
CAROLYN
But I didn’t put anything off. Marriage was all I wanted. I assumed everything would be like my mother and father.
MADISON
Was their marriage that great?
CAROLYN
Probably not but the fact that she died so young added a certain mythical quality to it. I mean no one got to find out how she would’ve reacted when her kids grew up and she had nothing to focus on.
MADISON
Have you talked to Dad about this?
CAROLYN
He sees us going to Florida a lot and playing golf.
MADISON
Golf?
CAROLYN
Apparently after a certain age everyone’s supposed to like it. It’s like exercise without any effort.
MADISON
That’s horrifying.
CAROLYN
I know. Madison I don’t want to be one of those crazy middle-aged women with a mannish haircut and a sensible car. I don’t.
KANE enters.
KANE
Hi.
CAROLYN
What took you?
KANE
I wanted to have a word with David.
KANE gets a beer from the fridge.
CAROLYN
About what?
MADISON
Me.
KANE
I want you to leave the restaurant.
MADISON
Forget it.
ROYCE enters.
KANE
There are so many other places you could work.
MADISON
This isn’t about me.
KANE
We need you to do this.
MADISON
It’s about him.
CAROLYN
It’s not.
MADISON
Why do you keep lying? You lie about when you left him—you lie about being the other woman—he lies and pretends it doesn’t matter.
