Stars Over Alaska

by Jennifer Snow

  She reached for her jacket and checked quickly on Selena napping in their bunk room before slipping out the back door and heading across the path to the shed. The snow crunching beneath her boots did nothing to drown out the pounding of her heart in her ears and the cold wind couldn’t cool the heat coursing through her body.

  She hesitated at the shed door, then opened it and went inside before she could talk herself out of it. “Hey... I think we need to talk.”

  Levi didn’t turn around, just continued stacking the wood in a pile near the wall. “Leslie, either do what you came in here to do or get out. I’ve got work to do.”

  Her mouth dropped, but her body was on autopilot and in less than a second, she was turning him around to face her. Standing on tiptoes, she gripped his cheeks between her hands and kissed him. Hard. Desperate. With purpose. It wasn’t an act of unplanned impulsivity. It was done with a clear head, if not a clear heart.

  Frustration and confusion were all there in the kiss. On both ends. But he didn’t pull away and neither did she.

  He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist as she deepened the kiss, searching for...what? The reason she was doing this, maybe? Testing him to see if he’d put on the brakes again?

  He pulled back abruptly as though reading her very thoughts. “If you were expecting me to show restraint again, I’m sorry, but that won’t be happening this time,” he said, his voice deep and gruff with an unconcealed desire.

  For her.

  She swallowed hard, her mind reeling as she met his gaze full on.

  What should she do?

  Listen to her body that was screaming for him or continue to follow her common sense as it rattled off the million reasons why this was such a bad idea?

  “I know what I want and I’m exhausted from fighting it, so this time it’s all on you,” he said.

  Shit. She was going for it.

  Her entire life was in chaos right now anyway, how much worse could it get?

  She crushed his mouth with hers again and reached for the edge of his sweaty T-shirt. She raised it up over his abs and chest and he allowed her to remove one arm at a time, still holding her beneath her ass and only briefly breaking contact with her mouth to yank the shirt over his head for her. His strength was sexy. Being so strong herself, it took a man like Levi—rock hard, solid and sturdy—to make her feel like she’d met her match.

  Her hands roamed over the sculpted muscles in his shoulders and back, then along the front of his pecs and down his incredible washboard abs.

  Damn, he rivaled every hot guy in LA. Every hot guy anywhere.

  She wouldn’t try to make sense of what was happening. Seeing Levi in a different light. Wanting him in a different way. Her body was taking over and Leslie wasn’t willing to fight her attraction any longer.

  She wanted Levi, right now, in this moment, and she was going to let herself have him. She’d worry about the consequences later...much later.

  He backed them up to the wooden work table and swiped the tools from the top. He lowered her down onto it and buried his head into the crook of her neck. Soft, wet kisses along her neck, her ear, her collarbone. “You smell amazing,” he murmured against her skin, his breath making her shiver. He removed her jacket and then her sweater, looking at her briefly for confirmation.

  She nodded and he continued his trail of kisses across her chest.

  Leslie arched her back, enjoying the feel of his lips against her skin, the rough graze of his short beard along her soft flesh. It had been so long since she’d had a sexy hunk of a man like Levi desiring her, enjoying her.

  When his head dipped even lower to her cleavage, she tangled her hands into his hair, holding his head there. His tongue licked along the swell of her breast as he reached behind to unclasp the bra. “If you’re going to stop me, please do it now.”

  She didn’t.

  He lowered the straps slowly down her arms and Leslie’s body trembled with the chill in the shed and the anticipation of his touch. He paused to look at her, the unconcealed lust in his expression surprising her... Had he always been this attracted to her? How had he kept it to himself for so long? She’d never felt uncomfortable around him. She’d never imagined his feelings ran deeper than friendship. He’d never made her feel uncomfortable at all.

  He’d hid his real feelings for her sake...for her happiness. Content to be there for her in whatever way he could.

  “Why didn’t you ever...?” She wasn’t sure why she needed to know, but she did.

  “Tell you?”

  She nodded.

  “Because I loved you more than I desired you,” he said hoarsely and her breath caught.

  He must have loved her a lot then, because his desire for her was evident. He was straining against the front of his jeans and she tentatively reached forward, cupping him through the fabric. He was so hard already and the size of him did not disappoint.

  Her pulse raced. It had been a long time since just the touch of a penis had her body reacting, aching... What would it feel like to have him inside of her?

  He took one nipple into his mouth and she closed her eyes, savoring the feel of his warm mouth on her, the tantalizing flick of his tongue over the bud. With his hands, he massaged both. Then he took the other nipple and worked it into a hard bud.

  She could feel her underwear getting wet and she reached for the button on his jeans. She undid them and pushed the fabric down over his hips. His cock stood out straight in his underwear and she swallowed hard.

  She didn’t want to stop. For the first time in so long she felt something other than pain. She was no longer numb. Her heart beating wildly in her chest and the desire coursing through her veins made her feel very much alive.

  Levi was making her feel alive.

  Was it just the situation—the familiarity and comfortable way Levi made her feel—or was it something more? Could her former best friend actually be the only one who could help bring her back to life? And was it fair of her to allow him to?

  Too many questions and no answers.

  He lifted her down from the table and reached for the waistband on her leggings. He slowly slid them down over her hips, over her ass, down her thighs, then he lifted her back onto the table and wedged himself between her legs. His cock pressed against her through their underwear and she could feel his wetness join hers.

  She wanted him inside of her so badly, but their impulsive move meant no protection, so this would have to satisfy them for now. She wouldn’t try to pretend that this would be the only time.

  Levi gripped her ass and pulled her forward until she was grinding on him, up and down...over and over again. She clung to his shoulders, her nails digging in as the arousal mounted and her breath became labored.

  Levi’s grip tightened on her ass and he quickened her movements, his head buried into her neck. He continued to kiss and suck and lick, his actions becoming more frantic, more desperate as she rode him harder.

  Her mouth was dry but sweat covered her entire body as her breasts rubbed against his rock-solid chest and her thighs brushed against his.

  “Damn, I want to be inside you,” he said.

  “I want you inside me,” she whispered. She wanted to be as close to him as possible. Feel him fill her. All of him. All of her. This was hardly enough.

  He pushed hard against her as she ground even faster, feeling her orgasm rise to nearly a breaking point. “Levi...” she said, holding on to him tighter like a life preserver when she thought she might float away...be lost...once again. He was the grounding rock she needed. The one he always was for her, and right now, she wouldn’t let go.

  He groaned his own release the same time she felt the first ripples of orgasm erupt inside of her. Her body trembled and Levi’s grip on her ass tightened even more as he held her still, as his head fell forward onto her shou
lder and he moaned his final release.

  She fought for a breath as she enjoyed the last sensations of pleasure flowing through her. Her grip on him relaxed, but she didn’t move away or release him completely. A tornado of emotions raged through her and she waited for the reality of what they’d just done to set in, for the high to dissipate...but all she felt was a euphoria that erased all other sensations.

  “Gotta say, I didn’t think you’d call my bluff like that,” Levi said, gently, pulling back slightly to look at her. He brushed her hair away from her face and studied her for any sign of regret or guilt.

  He wouldn’t find any...at least not yet.

  * * *

  LEVI WAS COMING down from the high and didn’t know what to do with himself. He’d just had sex with his best friend. No matter how many times he repeated it to himself, it felt surreal, like he’d imagined it, like it had only happened in one of his fantasies. He struggled to believe it had actually happened.

  They hadn’t said much afterward, both not really knowing what to say. And now back inside the cabin, the tight quarters with Leslie had him inventing make-work projects to stay in his office and away from her.

  He had no regrets, but the guilt was hitting him a lot harder than he’d told himself it would. No amount of reasoning or excuses was easing the heaviness in his chest during a time when he wanted to be celebrating. He’d been with the woman he’d always loved. She’d opened herself up to him. Her body at least. Just a little... He should be the happiest man on earth.

  But if he was feeling this conflicted, she had to be as well.

  Which was a double kick to the groin.

  Maybe he shouldn’t have goaded her the way he had. Maybe he should never have told her the truth about how he felt. Maybe he shouldn’t have allowed things to go this far...

  He ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

  Disappointment in himself and his actions mixed with annoyance. Why the hell did he always have to sacrifice what he wanted? Why did he always have to be the good guy? The honorable guy who was so fucking heartbroken and miserable?

  Life had determined this situation they found themselves in. Fate had intervened in a cruel way to allow him this opportunity to be with her. But the fact of the matter was that it sucked. Getting the girl of his dreams by default and at such a high cost was not the way he wanted to finally have love, be accepted, get his own chance at happiness.

  He sighed as he glanced through the open blinds of his office to the living room, where Leslie was using his laptop. Damn, she was so beautiful, so amazing...and despite the guilt, his body reacted to her again already. Remembering her kiss, her urgency, the way her hands had caressed his body...his entire body.

  What was she thinking? What was she feeling?

  Did she want to continue exploring what they’d opened themselves up to in the shed just moments before? Or had one impulsive time with him been enough? Would her common sense kick in? Or was she ready to consider a new future—with him in it. Not as her friend, but as something more.

  And when all of this was over, where would they go from here?

  The unknown and the uncertainty were terrifying. He’d taken a leap of faith into stormy waves and he just hoped he could breathe with his head underwater.

  Right now, he’d give them both a little space and time—as much as physically possible given the circumstances. If she wanted to talk or needed him, she knew where to find him. He’d move at her pace, on her agenda.

  Approaching the office door, he shut it a little too hard and loud and closed the window blinds to block the sight of her.

  Then he collapsed onto his sofa next to a sleeping Smokester and allowed all the years of unexpressed heartache to come crashing in all around him.

  * * *

  OH SHIT, OH SHIT, oh shit...

  Levi was obviously spiraling. The loud bang of his office door had Leslie frozen. Was he pissed? Was he annoyed? Had she done something wrong?

  Well, obviously it hadn’t been the right thing. Having sex with him was arguably the dumbest thing she could have done. She felt guilty as shit, but she wasn’t really regretting her actions. Or at least, she hadn’t been...

  What did she do? Go to him and talk about what happened?

  And say what?

  She had no idea where they went from here or what it had meant.

  “What’s his problem?” Selena asked, coming up behind her with a meaty-looking sandwich that was definitely not vegan or gluten-free.

  “I have no idea.” That much was true. It could be that he regretted what happened or it could be that he was annoyed at her for the impulsive act, then her not being able to reciprocate feelings beyond a physical connection.

  But what did he expect?

  She’d only recently learned he had feelings for her. She’d kept her own heart guarded for so long, it had been a huge step just allowing herself a brief moment of connection in any way with a man—with her best friend.

  She loved Levi...but could she ever have the same feelings for him that he had for her? Could she ever be in love with him? She didn’t know. She’d never allowed herself to think of him in that way before.

  And now she knew she was attracted to him...but real love? Like what she’d had before...

  “I thought actresses didn’t eat carbs,” she said grumpily.

  “I eat carbs. Don’t project your prejudices against skinny, rich, famous people on me,” Selena said, sitting next to her. “Besides, this is gluten-free. Levi got Chad to pick some up at the grocery store when he was made aware of my dietary requirements.”

  Oh, for the love of... Why was everyone catering to the star? First her brother with his cauliflower substitute risotto and now Chad? In LA everyone did what Selena wanted—sure they were paid to, but here in Wild River people were expected to fend for themselves. No one had ever doted on Leslie this way. Not that she wanted them to.

  “Can we look up TMZ?” Selena asked, moving even closer to see the laptop.

  Leslie inched away. “No.”

  “Entertainment Weekly?”

  Leslie sighed. “No.” The last thing she needed at that moment was to see her face with a wanted sticker all over the internet. For a brief respite out in the shed, she’d forgotten all about the mess she was in, the stalker trying to kill her client and the fact that they were thousands of miles away from where they needed to be and that sooner or later they’d have to go back.

  “How was the cabin?” Selena asked, with a mouthful of sandwich.

  “Completely destroyed,” Leslie said, feeling yet another tug at her chest and not entirely because of the cabin.

  Levi loved her—she still couldn’t quite believe it.

  “Is that what’s got you upset?” the star asked carefully, any trace of her annoying self disappearing.

  It would be easier to allow her to think that was all it was, but Selena looked remorseful when she glanced at her. “No...that’s not it. I’m just trying to figure out a way to get us out of this mess as quickly as possible.”

  And put some distance between her and Levi before she could do something stupid like fall in love.

  * * *

  SELENA ENTERED HIS office and closed the door behind her.

  Oh no... If the star tried flirting with him again right now, Levi might actually have a nervous meltdown. “Hey, I’m just in the middle of...”

  “What did you do to make Leslie even more annoyed?” she interrupted.

  Oh, he was to blame for that? The way he remembered it, it had been her who came out to the shed, her who had initiated the kiss—and other things. He’d warned her, given her time to change her mind. She hadn’t.

  He folded his arms across his chest as he leaned back in his chair. “What makes you think I did something?”

  “Because both of you are acting even
more awkward and tense around one another since the ride out to the cabin.”

  The woman was perceptive. But it was since the mind-blowing sex in the shed that things had been more awkward. Like neither of them knew what to do or say to one another. What did you say to your off-limits best friend after crossing a line like that?

  “Did you two have an argument?” Selena asked when he wasn’t forthcoming with information.

  The opposite actually. They’d connected in a different way, a much deeper, raw, emotional way. And they were both shaken up about it. And now neither of them knew how to handle it or what to do next. “Sort of... I guess,” he said. He wasn’t going to tell Selena the truth. That would be up to Leslie and so far, he got the impression that she really wasn’t trying to form any sort of friendship with her client. He understood that. Keeping someone safe relied heavily on being aware and cognizant and not blinded by emotion in times of extreme decision making. Life-or-death decisions couldn’t be made effectively if Selena was too close...

  “Well, if we all have to be cooped up inside here together, you need to apologize and make it up to her because she’s even more unbearable than before.”

  “Apologize and make it up to her?” For giving her the orgasm that she asked for? This was bullshit. He wouldn’t do it. She was the one who was playing with his heart and real emotions. She knew how he felt about her now. It hadn’t just been sex for him. In fact, it was because he cared so much about her that he’d rejected her advances the first time. He wasn’t sure what had gotten into him when she’d come out to the shed.

  Part of him had thought she would never do it. Another part was hoping there was a deeper meaning in it for her as well.

  Which would be another kind of problem.

  He’d always had to deal with unrequited love, hiding his feelings and feeling guilty over them... What would he do if there was a real chance for them? If they actually decided to give a relationship beyond friendship a go? Could he do that? Or would his loyalty to Dawson prevent him from allowing his own happiness?