Stars Over Alaska

by Jennifer Snow

  Beside her on the right, Tank and Cassie held hands, leaning into one another. On her left, Eddie and Montana were shoulder to shoulder, knee to knee.

  Being the fifth wheel kinda sucked. She had thought of reaching out to Levi...but a junior high play with her brother and friends wasn’t really the right time, the right way she wanted to talk to him. She’d missed him these past few weeks and he’d been constantly on her mind. That meant something. Since admitting her feelings to Selena, they’d only gotten stronger. As if saying it, acknowledging them had given them permission to grow and overwhelm her with their intensity.

  The final scene left not a dry eye in the room and a standing ovation rippled through the crowd as the final curtain lowered. Leslie wiped her eye quickly as the auditorium lights came back on and turned her cell phone to face her.

  “She was so amazing!” Selena said. “I have flowers being delivered backstage right now—a lot of flowers. You guys might want to go help her with them,” she said.

  “We’re on it,” Eddie said. “Meet you at the van,” he told Leslie before the four parents headed backstage to collect Kaia.

  Leslie left the row and moved through the crowd to the back of the auditorium.

  “So?” Selena said.

  “So what?”

  “I want to hear all about it. Every last detail. Leave nothing out.”

  Leslie hesitated. “Hear about what?”

  “You’re stalling...” Selena peered at her through the phone screen. “Oh my God, you haven’t seen him yet, have you?”

  “I just got back to town.”

  “Two days ago!” Selena’s shrill voice caught the attention of several parents and Leslie lowered the volume on the call as she headed outside.

  It was actually a day and a half.

  “Look, I’m just wanting to do it organically, you know. Let him find out I’m back through the grapevine and then...”

  “Come to you?” Selena raised an eyebrow.

  Yes. “No. Not like that. Just reconnect naturally...a casual encounter. Nothing forced or planned.” Truth was she was terrified. She had no idea how Levi was going to respond to her being back, to seeing her again...especially since the two of them hadn’t spoken in weeks. What if she’d hurt him too many times and he wasn’t interested in getting involved anymore? She loved him but was that enough? He was still working on the foundation, so maybe he’d decided that he wanted to put his commitment to Dawson’s memory above all else.

  “He’s going to misread that as you friend zoning him again,” Selena said in a huff. “He’ll think you’re not madly in love with him. That you’re back because you lost your job over questionable judgment and have nowhere else to go.”

  “That’s not true.” She’d decided to come back. And he’d been the most important factor in that decision. The only factor really.

  “He doesn’t know that,” Selena said. “And no guy wants to feel like the fallback guy. Eoghan turned out to be a criminal, so you decide to choose Levi.”

  “Again, it’s not like that.” But no one could argue her right to be careful. She’d lost one fiancé to his job and the first time she let her guard down again around a man—however casual—the guy turned out to be a stalker. Taking things slow with Levi was the only thing that made sense.

  Though they hadn’t exactly taken things slow a few weeks before.

  Selena moved closer to the screen. “Look, you need to go to him.”

  “I’m not sure I can.”

  “I’m telling you, you can. He’s in Wild River tomorrow night at the resort for the charity event. You need to go and you need to tell him you love him.”

  Leslie winced. At an event honoring her former fiancé? One she wasn’t a part of or even invited to? “You really think that’s the best time?”

  “Yes. Because it will bring you both closure and assure him that he’s getting all of you. All of your heart. Convince him you’re ready to move on.”

  She hated when Selena was right. “What if I’m not entirely ready?” She loved Levi. He was her best friend, always had been. He was the only man she wanted in her future, but she wasn’t good at this. She’d started opening herself up only a few weeks ago...

  Selena gave her an encouraging smile. “Then Levi will help you get there. With patience and understanding and love. Damn, girl, if you don’t go after him soon, I’m making another play for him.”

  Leslie laughed as she nodded. “Okay... I can go to him. I can do this.” In fact she wasn’t sure she could do this, not even a little bit, but Levi was worth shooting her shot.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  THAT SEASON’S TRAINING was scheduled to start in two weeks and sitting across from Levi was the latest recruit. Tyler Forrester’s smile might be wide now, but it wouldn’t be for long when he was enduring eighteen-hour days preparing for the upcoming wildfire season. “Welcome to the team,” Levi said, extending a hand to the guy.

  Tyler stood and shook it. “Thank you. You won’t regret this.”

  “Make sure I don’t,” Levi said.

  Tyler hesitated as he headed toward the office door. “Can I ask—why the change of heart?”

  It was a fair question. No doubt his call to the guy the day before had come as a surprise. “I, uh, just realized that maybe I’d been unfair before. We’d be lucky to have someone as qualified as you.” He wouldn’t admit to the guy that his own actions had only amplified how hypocritical he’d been in his applicant assessment. How could he turn the guy away for having someone in his life that he’d choose over the job in a hypothetical situation when Levi had actually done it?

  “Well, thanks again.”

  “See you at training,” he said, sitting back in his chair as Chad entered the office.

  “So, you reconsidered?” he asked with a knowing grin.

  “Seemed like the best decision,” Levi said. He cleared his throat. “Speaking of decisions...” Time to have the hard talk. “I realize mine wasn’t what was best for the team. I chose to leave Florida on an instinct and I’ll be happy to step down if the team thinks that’s the best thing.”

  Chad looked at him as though he’d lost his mind. “What are you talking about?”

  “I abandoned the team.”

  Chad shook his head as he entered. “No. You prioritized. And you made the right decision. Besides, you’d completed the jump. Lead member or not, your name would have been moved to the bottom of the jump list...the next one was Miller’s fire.”

  “But I would still have assisted...”

  “Levi, give yourself a break, man. You’ve chosen a life of serving and protecting, no matter what that looks like—jumping out of a plane into a fire or being there for a loved one.” Chad patted his shoulder. “Now stop stressing and get ready to have your ass handed to you by that new recruit at training camp,” he said as he left the office.

  Levi nodded and sighed as he fell back in his chair.

  Now that that was over, he had something even heavier weighing on him.

  He stared at his computer screen, the blinking cursor at the top of the page, where it had sat all morning, taunting him. He had twenty hours before he’d be standing in front of a crowded room and delivering a speech to honor his best friend, and a blank page was all he had so far.

  Thinking of things to say about Dawson wasn’t the hard part. It was putting all of his respect and admiration for his friend into coherent sentences that would ring true and give everyone in the room a sense that they knew him.

  He started to type...

  Dawson Powell was a hero.

  He backspaced over the stale introduction and ran a hand over his face. “Come on, Levi...get it together,” he mumbled.

  Take care of my girl until I see her again.

  His buddy’s last words had replayed in his mind every time he’d s
at down to write this. Maybe that was it. Maybe that was what he needed to convey.

  Sitting forward, he started again...

  Dawson Powell cared about everyone the same and that made him the kind of hero not everyone can be. He didn’t make decisions based on his own heart, but on prioritizing the needs of those around him, a trait that those of us who loved him often didn’t understand...

  Levi’s fingers flew over the keyboard, the words spilling out of him now that he was allowing himself to be honest. His best friend may not have been able to be everything to him or to Leslie because he was trying to be everything to everyone...especially the ones who needed him most.

  It had taken Levi a long time to understand but he did now.

  He finished the speech and hit Print, then rested his head on his hands, his elbows on the desk. “I hope to make you proud, buddy.”

  * * *

  WALKING INTO THE Wild River Resort the next evening, Leslie could barely feel her legs beneath her. Her heart was about to burst out of her chest and her sweaty palms refused to stay dry, no matter how many times she wiped them on the legs of her dress pants.

  Dress pants and blouse. No fancy, sparkly dress. Selena would not approve, but Leslie had to draw the line somewhere when it came to accepting the star’s advice. This was Wild River. Not Hollywood. And she was just an unemployed police officer. Not an actress.

  And she knew that wouldn’t matter to Levi.

  She took a breath as she stopped in front of the ballroom doors.

  This was what she needed to do. No backing out. If she let more time pass between them, she was afraid her heart might close off again, the walls would start to build back up and the possibility of what could be with Levi would disappear.

  She didn’t want that.

  She wanted Levi.

  She opened the door and the sight of the decorated ballroom made her smile. Round tables of eight, adorned with white silk tablecloths, beautiful pale pink flower centerpieces, and candles were placed all around the room. White string lights draped from the ceiling, creating a beautiful, intimate ambience in the large space.

  At the front of the room was a podium with a large display screen containing information about the foundation and how to donate and next to it was a large framed photo of Dawson in his state trooper uniform. It wasn’t the posed, serious shot that was featured at his funeral, but a candid shot of him laughing, and it warmed Leslie’s heart.

  That was Dawson captured perfectly. Always smiling, always happy... No one could say that Dawson hadn’t enjoyed life. Every aspect of it.

  Selena was right. He’d want her and Levi to enjoy their lives too, even if that was together...maybe especially if that was together.

  The event wasn’t scheduled to start for another hour and she scanned the otherwise empty room and spotted Levi with a man hooking up the media equipment. She swallowed hard. He looked amazing in jeans and a white T-shirt, his hair messy and uncombed. A scruffy beard that she suspected would be trimmed and combed to perfection by the time the event started, which was soon. She didn’t have much time.

  When he turned, she froze, waiting for his expression to settle on one emotion...beyond surprised. Would he be happy to see her? Relieved? Stressed?

  His gaze softened and her shoulders sagged in relief as he gave a small wave.

  She raised a hand and fought to control the urge to run toward him and jump into his arms.

  Damn, those movies Selena had forced her to watch were messing with her brain.

  He spoke to the technician, then headed toward her. “Hey...”

  “Hey...” Okay, now what? Wait for him to speak first or say something? Confess her love immediately or keep it casual? “This place looks beautiful...” She scanned the room because looking at him and not being in his arms was damn near impossible.

  “Yeah, the decorators Mrs. Powell hired did a great job,” he said.

  She nodded toward the picture. “Great choice.”

  He glanced at it. “I thought so. Really represents his spirit, you know?”

  She did know. And right now, seeing all the effort and commitment Levi was putting into this foundation represented his spirit. He’d always preferred being behind the scenes, letting Dawson shine, and he was still doing just that.

  “So, how are you settling in?” he asked.

  She blushed. So he did know she was back in town and was only now reaching out to him. “I would have called or texted, but...”

  He lowered his head. “I get it.”

  What did he get? Her heart raced as he smiled up at her. The look in his eyes suggesting that she didn’t need to vocalize it. He knew she was there to let him down easy.

  She took a deep breath. “No, I don’t think you do.” She stepped forward and reached for his hands.

  The look of surprise on his face gave her courage.

  “I didn’t call or text because I wanted to say this in person.”

  He searched her face for a clue of what was coming next. Hesitant, but hopeful.

  Just say it. Quickly. Before her natural instincts kicked in and she ran out of the room. “I’m in love with you. That’s why I came back. It wasn’t because I was out of a job and had nowhere else to go. Or because I missed my family. Or because I was tired of LA. And you’re not a fallback guy...” she said. What else had Selena mentioned that she needed to clarify?

  He gave a strangled-sounding laugh. “I would never have assumed that.”

  Right. Of course not. Her friend was getting an earful.

  “But um...can we just back up a little? You’re in love with me?”

  She nodded. “Madly.”

  He laughed, drawing her closer. “Madly, huh?”

  “I’ve been watching a lot of sappy movies and there’s always the big gesture. When someone is in the wrong and they need to make things right. I know this isn’t exactly big, but this is it. My...big...gesture.”

  “I like the influence Selena has on you,” he said, releasing her hands and wrapping his arms around her waist. He pulled her into his body and she cuddled into him. A sigh of relief escaping her. This felt right. Real. Exactly where she wanted to be. This moment and always.

  “I’m sorry about everything before,” she whispered.

  He kissed the top of her head. “There’s nothing to apologize for. These last few years have been rough on us both. I’m just happy you’re back.”

  She knew he meant more than just physically. More than just being home in Wild River. Back to the person she’d been before, the person she’d lost for a little while, the person she’d forgotten she was.

  She looked at him and their eyes met and held. “In case you were wondering, I’m still madly in love with you too,” Levi said, lowering his head to hers. “I always have been and I always will be.”

  His lips were just an inch away and Leslie stood on tiptoes to meet them. They were soft, warm, and welcoming and he deepened the kiss as his grip on her tightened.

  When Levi kissed her, it was like everything familiar and nothing familiar all at once. He was so much of her past that she felt secure, safe in his arms, but experiencing him in this new way was different, exciting...terrifying.

  She knew him. Every little detail. Yet he was showing her a new side that she never imagined was there—passionate but controlled, strong but vulnerable, open yet guarded. He was both the Levi she knew and a man she wanted to get to know better. And it wasn’t a shared tragic past that had her feeling this way. It was him. The man he always was, the man he’d always been for her and the man he always would be.

  His lips savoring hers and his arms holding her tight told her he’d never hurt her or let her down and she wanted to be that same safe place for him. And maybe that was enough to give this a chance, see where years of friendship could lead, what they could turn into. They did
n’t owe anyone anything—not an explanation, not an apology. They weren’t doing anything wrong by being together. Dawson was gone and she missed him every day, missed the life they were supposed to have had—should have had—together, but she couldn’t bring him back. Her pain and guilt could never bring him back and she was tired of living as though she too had died that day on the highway. She wanted to live again, laugh again, feel love again and be loved.

  And right now Levi was making all of that a reality for her. His touch, his kiss, his caress all brought her back from the brink and she couldn’t get enough of the life he was breathing into her with every look of desire and love.

  She closed her eyes, enjoying the moment. She wanted it to last forever. She wanted this second chance at a forever love...with him. She’d been blessed to find love in the past and she refused to take this new shot for granted. Loving Dawson had taught her so much, but loving Levi was her future.

  He held her close as he made her feel every ounce of love he’d always had for her. The respect and admiration and longing all revealed itself in his desperate, loving kiss.

  And when she pulled away and caught the photo of Dawson out of the corner of her eye, she knew somewhere, somehow, he was giving them his blessing.

  And finally she opened herself up completely to the new chapter waiting for her in Levi’s arms.

  EPILOGUE

  Three months later...

  THE LATE SUMMER SUN was high in the sky and the light breeze blowing through the Alaskan wilderness was mild and smelled of sweet honeysuckle.

  A flatbed truck backed slowly down the recently widened road toward the cleared lot where Leslie’s family cabin used to be. On the back, there was several thousand dollars’ worth of lumber and building materials. Courtesy of Selena Hudson.

  A tornado of emotions swirled through Leslie’s heart.

  They were rebuilding the family cabin. After so many years, they’d all decided that it was time to have a new place to help them hold on to the memories of the past, but also make new ones. They were all moving on, moving forward... The mistakes of the past forgiven and opening up to new life adventures...wherever they may lead.