Her Mountain Hero

by Jaymes, Holly

  “Thought what?” There was a bruskness to her voice that had me wanting to choose my words carefully.

  “It seemed like you needed space,” I said, hoping that acknowledged her feelings without sounding defensive.

  “I need space? You’re the one that needs space.”

  I frowned. “I do? No. I don’t.”

  She looked down. “I guess we’re both a little out of sorts.” She looked up at me. “But I’m sure there won’t be any problem. I know you’re worried about it—”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “You’re not?” Again she looked at me like she didn’t know me.

  I shrugged. “You said the timing was wrong. And if it wasn’t wrong, we’ll deal with it somehow.”

  “Somehow,” she repeated. I got the sense that it wasn’t what she wanted to hear. What did she want to hear? I could ask her to stay until we knew for sure whether or not she was pregnant. If she was, I had room for a nursery. I could take care of the child while she worked. Would she be open to that?

  “Is there something I should be doing or saying, Hope? I feel like I’m fucking up again and I don’t want to.”

  She shook her head. “No.” She mustered a smile. “No, it’s all fine.” She stood. “I’m going to pack. I leave tomorrow.”

  “Not Sunday?” I thought I had one more day to try and fix this. Jesus, things must have been worse than I thought. She couldn’t wait to get out and away from me. I hated that she felt like that, and at the same time, maybe she was right. Maybe it was time to cut our losses.

  “I figured I’d use Sunday to get settled at home and ready for the week,” she explained.

  “Yeah, right. Of course.” Despite thinking that maybe she had the right idea, my brain was screaming at me to ask her to stay. “How can I help?”

  “I’ll need help carrying things to my car, but other than that, I’m good.”

  I rose and went to her, rubbing her arms with my hands. “I wanted this end on a better note. Is there something I can do to make that happen?”

  She pressed her hand to my cheek. “It’s fine, Mitch. We knew this was going to end. I’m so grateful for all you’ve done for me.” She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. That’s when I knew that what I was feeling for her wasn’t anywhere close to what she felt for me. I was now back to being only a friend. It fucking hurt, which only made me feel like a bigger idiot for letting myself get so involved with her. It was my own fault. She was following the rules that I pretty much set. I couldn’t get mad at her for that.

  She walked out of the kitchen and up to the studio. I wanted to throw something or scream. Why couldn’t I just tell her what I felt and wanted?

  Because she’d still leave.

  I certainly knew how to pick women. When I’d proposed our affair, I’d been afraid I’d hurt or offend Hope. As it turned out, she was the one happy to keep to the rules, and I was the one hurt. There was something seriously wrong with my heart that I couldn’t keep a woman. Granted, maybe if I told her I wanted to see her, to have more than an affair, maybe she’d feel the same. But based on her behavior last night and this morning, it was clear she didn’t feel the same. I was her summer fling, and now she was ready to go back to her real life.

  There was only one thing for me to do. It was time for me to let her go and move on. I needed to be like Hope and see our time together as a pleasant temporary distraction that has now ended. I needed to reset my schedule back to the time when it was just Duke and me. But I didn’t know if I knew what that was, so I stood in the middle of my kitchen like an idiot.

  That night, like the night before, I was on my own as she worked upstairs. She didn’t come to bed, or at least to my bed. Instead, she appeared the next morning from the room off the extension. I tried to not be annoyed that I was now a leper in my own home as I served her coffee and breakfast. Our last morning together was similar to the first morning. Only sadder.

  After breakfast, I helped her pack her car. Finally, she was ready to go. She stood by the driver’s side door. I stood in front of her, my hands on my hips as I tried not to pull her into my arms and ask her to stay.

  “Well, wish me luck,” she said, with a forced smile.

  “You don’t need luck, Hope. You’ll be a hit. I know it.” That at least, was the truth from my heart.

  “Thanks to you. I owe you, Mitch.”

  If only I could get her to pay me back by staying.

  “Don’t worry about Parker. He won’t know about…you know,” she said.

  I wanted to tell her that I didn’t give a fuck if Parker knew that I’d slept with her. I’d tell him that I cared for her and take whatever punch he threw my way.

  “Drive safe,” I said, ignoring her comment about Parker. “And keep me posted on how your business is going.”

  “I will.”

  But I suspected that I’d hear about her success through Parker. She was clearly done with me just as she had been nine years ago.

  I was perverse enough to not want some little peck on the cheek, so I leaned in and kissed her on the lips. It was sweet and soft, but long enough to get a final taste. “Go get ‘em Hope.”

  I stepped back as she looked at me like she was surprised. “Thank you, Mitch.” She got in her car, and I watched her drive off.

  Three years ago, when I’d come home from my business trip to find my Gwen riding my partner’s dick, I was filled with rage for being made a fool, but I didn’t have much sadness. I was pissed that two people I’d trusted had betrayed me, and that they made me look like a fucking idiot.

  I’d considered fighting to win her back because my life plan had been set in stone for so long, I didn’t know how to do anything else. Invitations had been ordered. The first steps to setting up an IPO to go public had been taken. I couldn’t just walk away from my fiance and business plans could I?

  My family told me otherwise. My brothers told me to dump my fiance and go forward with the IPO without my right-hand man. My parents would have likely said the same, but my father died and my mother was rightly too wrapped in her own grief to help with my problems.

  The thing about me was that I was never one to switch directions on a dime. I didn’t like walking away from things I’d invested time and money in. Fortunately, my trip to the waterfall made me see the light. The thing I’d realized by that waterfall was that while I was pissed about what happened, I wasn’t sad to lose either of them. In fact, in some ways, it had been a relief. Something about Gwen and taking the business public hadn’t felt right. I’d pawned it off as nerves, but by that point, I knew my gut had been telling me that I needed to let them and my IPO goal go. So I did and never looked back as I sold the business, bought land in the mountains, and built my permanent retreat.

  Watching Hope’s car disappear down the road, I felt something totally different from what happened before, and it made me wonder if I shouldn’t have fought for her. I wasn’t pissed as much as I was yearning for her to stay. Perhaps if she weren’t working so hard to build her business, I would have asked her to stay. But she was pursuing her dream, and I didn’t want to get in the way of that.

  “Why do I pick the wrong women all the time, Duke?” I asked as patted Duke’s head where he sat next to me watching her car leave.

  In some ways, Hope had been right. The anger I had with Gwen and my partner stayed with me. But I hoped to hell that the sadness and regret I was feeling now watching Hope leave would dissipate. Letting Hope go was my final gift to her to support her dream.

  The next day, I tried to come up with some excuse not to go to dinner with my family. I knew I was in a funk and that my brothers would pick up on that. They’d start hassling me mercilessly. I also knew that not going would make them even more suspicious about what was going on with me. So that afternoon, I loaded Duke into the SUV and headed down the mountain to my mother’s house.

  I did my best to greet everyone with a smile, and then I went to the grill where I’d be able t
o put my attention away from my family. I was on the deck by myself as Duke played with George. I’d just finished lighting the grill when I heard movement behind me.

  “I’m really not that bad at grilling,” my brother Will said.

  I looked at him over my shoulder. “You’re not that good either.”

  He shrugged as he sat on one of the patio chairs. “You should teach me. Someday you might want a break.”

  “Why would I need a break?” Was he just talking or did he sense a vulnerability in me he wanted to exploit? Or maybe I was just fucking paranoid.

  “I don’t know,” he said.

  With the grill heating, I shut the lid and turned.

  Will held up an extra beer for me. “You and Hope have a fight?”

  I took the beer and sat next to him. “No.”

  “Your dog hasn’t died so I can see that’s not what’s got you in a funk.”

  “I’m not in a funk.” How could he always tell? When dad died, did he pass on his ability to sense trouble to Will?

  “Grumpy?”

  “It’s just been a long day,” I said, taking a long swig of my beer.

  “Why didn’t you bring Hope?”

  Why did he even care? He was the one that was the most adamant that he and I stay bachelors. “She’s done with her retreat. She finished her work and is now taking her next steps.”

  “Ah,” he said like he had an epiphany.

  “Hope and I are friends. That’s it,” I said, hoping I didn’t sound like I was trying too hard to convince him.

  “Okay.” Will held up his hands in surrender. “But the ladies inside think otherwise.”

  I waved the comment away. “Women always have romantic notions.”

  “You did once too.”

  He would bring up Gwen. I think he did it to remind me that risking the heart was not smart. Sure, it worked for Gabe and Nate, but Sam and Hallie were truly their soulmates.

  “Not for Hope. I’ve never had a relationship with her,” I responded.

  He gave me a look that told me he didn’t believe me.

  I rolled my eyes. “I was fifteen when I had a little crush. Now I’m grown up. No more romantic notions for me. I learned my lesson.” Boy did I.

  “I’m glad to hear that Mitch because I was afraid that I was going to be the only bachelor brother.”

  “Mitch has a fighting chance, but you Will, I don’t think you have to worry about losing your bachelor status,” Nate said joining us on the deck.

  “You gonna let him talk to you like that?” Will said to me.

  I laughed. “Just because you and Gabe’s brains have been sprinkled with fairy love dust doesn’t mean the rest of us will fall under a woman’s spell.”

  Nate shrugged. “Your loss. The sex is better.”

  “Nate!” Hallie said as she came to stand behind him. He put his hand over hers on his shoulder. “Tell me I’m wrong, honey.”

  Hallie blushed. “I can’t, but you shouldn’t rub it in.”

  Nate laughed and pulled her hand to his lips for a kiss. My heart ached in my chest for the ability to have that with Hope. Why would cupid sprinkle fairy love dust on my brain for a woman I couldn’t have? Fucking sadist.

  “What’s better?” Gabe asked, carrying baby Annabelle.

  “Sex,” Nate said.

  “Jeez Nate, he’s got the baby,” I said.

  “She doesn’t know what I’m saying.” Nate looked up at Gabe. “Married sex is better, am I right.”

  “I have to agree with that,” Gabe said.

  Nate held his hands out in an I-told-you-so fashion.

  “We’d know too because we’ve had both,” Nate said.

  “How is it you always talk about sex at these meals?” Samantha asked, taking the baby from Gabe.

  “What else is there to talk about?” Will asked.

  Sam smirked at him. “I can’t wait until the day some woman knocks you for a loop.”

  “That will be something,” Gabe agreed.

  None of my brothers said that about me, but then, they knew about Gwen.

  “Not gonna happen,” Will said confidently.

  “You can’t help it,” Nate said. “One day you look at a woman, and it’s like wham, everything in your world shifts, and there’s nothing more important than her.”

  “You’re so romantic,” Hallie said.

  “It’s true baby.”

  If that’s the case, I wasn’t sure I could say I’d ever been in love. I’d asked Gwen to marry because it seemed like it was something I needed to do. I certainly didn’t feel like she was the center of my universe. Hope? There was something different with her, but my end all, be all, center? I didn’t feel like I could say that. Yes, I’d have liked to have spent more time with her, but I wasn’t ready to say she was the most important thing in my life.

  “Where’s Hope?” Sam asked.

  “She’s done with her retreat and back home,” I said, following my statement with a long drink of my beer to hide any indication in my face that I missed her.

  “That’s so exciting to be creating her own clothing line,” Sam said. “I hope she does well.”

  “I’m sure she will,” I said.

  My mom came out with the meat for me to grill, thankfully giving me a respite from talking about Hope.

  Somehow, I was able to escape any further scrutiny until after dinner as I was cleaning the grill. I was again on the deck alone as Gabe and Sam had gone home to put the baby to bed, and Hallie and my mother were doing something in the house. Will was playing with the dogs.

  “Everything alright with you and Hope?” Nate asked as he came to stand next to me at the grill.

  I frowned. “Hope and I are friends. Why do y’all keep thinking otherwise?”

  Nate took a sip of his beer, his eyes regarding me over the bottle. “I know denial when I see it.”

  “No, you don’t.” I concentrated on scrubbing the grill with the brush.

  “I do because I had it too. I fell for Hallie the moment I saw her but didn’t realize it. Hell, I didn’t even know it when I started sleeping with her.”

  “You just said wham and everything shifted in your world when you met her.” I rolled my eyes at him. Which was it, dude?

  “The wham came when I realized that I might not have her in my life. I felt for her, but didn’t recognize it, even though I was sleeping with her.”

  “I’m pretty sure Hallie wouldn’t want you sharing your sexual history with me,” I closed the lid of the grill.

  “You’re probably right. The point is, I’ve got eyes, and they see how much you like her.”

  “Yes, as a friend.” I shook my head at him.

  Nate laughed. “Have it your way. Be miserable.”

  “Duke!” I called for my dog. “I’ve got to head home.”

  “Hey,” Nate said, stopping me. “I’m not trying to bust your balls, Mitch. Really. I know what it’s like to want a woman and not think you can have her. If you want to talk, give me a call.”

  I nodded. “Thanks, but it’s not like that.”

  He let me go, and after hugging my mother goodbye, I headed home. Today was a challenge to get into a new routine without Hope there, but tomorrow I’d head down to town, check on my clients, and maybe see what was up at the ranger station. They were always in need of volunteers. Nate was right in that I wanted a woman I couldn’t have, but my situation wasn’t like his. Hallie wanted him back. They worked together and had common goals. Hope and I had a few wonderful weeks, and now she was on to her dream, and I was back to my life.

  Hope—It’s Positive

  Hope

  The drive home from Mitch’s was difficult. At one point, I pulled off the road and cried. I wished I was brave enough to tell him how I felt. But we’d had a deal, and while he’d been so sweet the last few days after our mishap, he wasn’t asking me to stay.

  As traffic picked up, I found myself feeling overwhelmed and missing the mountains. He was
right in that there was something peaceful and calming in the fresh air away from congestion. My creativity and productivity were flowing when I was at Mitch’s.

  Get it together, Hope. I had a dream to fulfill and was well on my way to achieving it. It was the dream that required me to be in the middle of the hustle and bustle of the city. This week was going to be filled with appointments with manufacturers, a meeting with my lawyer and the bank, and more. So I needed to get over leaving Mitch.

  I’d wished for this for so long, and it was a disappointment to not be as excited about it as I wanted. It didn’t seem fair that I couldn’t have both a great business and Mitch. But his life was in the mountains, and he wanted peace and quiet without any emotional attachments. I had to respect that.

  I arrived home to a “sold” banner on the 'For Sale' sign in the yard. I was happy that my parents had sold the river house, but now I needed to move on top of starting my business. At the moment, I was tired from the ride, so I unpacked the car then headed down to the river. Mitch had his lush woods, and I had the river, at least until I moved.

  Like Mitch’s waterfall, the river offered a place for quiet contemplation. Unfortunately, no answers sprang up for me. Instead, memories of Mitch and me at the river, and at his home haunted my brain. I wondered why I was so drawn to him when clearly we weren’t meant to be. Twice now, things had gone disastrously wrong for us. I hoped to hell I was right about my cycle because a baby would just mess everything up even more. It made me sad because I thought I’d be a good mom and was certain Mitch would be a good father. But neither of us were in a place to take on a relationship much less raising a baby.

  Eventually, I made my way back inside, where I unpacked my suitcases, set up a makeshift office, and then turned on my laptop to research places I could move to.

  I slept that night about as well as I had the last few nights at Mitch’s, which was hardly at all. But on Sunday morning I woke up and got to work, preparing for all my meetings the upcoming week. I worked through the day, stopping for lunch and a quick dip in the river.

  In the evening, I couldn’t help but think about Mitch and how he was probably not far from me at his mother’s house having Sunday night dinner. It reminded me that I wanted to start a similar tradition with my family.