Where Loyalties Lie

by Ramsower, Jill

  The cherry on top was the odd emptiness I felt at knowing I’d likely never see Tamir again. It would have been selfish to drag him into my mess, not to mention dangerous for the both of us, but when I was with him, I didn’t feel so alone. I hadn’t felt that way in a long time. As though drinking the first sip of water after months stranded at sea.

  I made it back to the diner with fifteen minutes to spare, only going inside when Stephanie entered the building. Spotting her at a booth by the windows, I walked over and slipped in across from her.

  “Oh shit, Em, your cheek. Are you okay?” Steph reached out and clasped my hand. She knew everything about my past, and her concern brought the threat of tears to the back of my throat.

  “I’m okay, just freaked out.”

  “You need to tell me everything, but first, are you hungry?”

  “Starved, it’s been a long night.”

  Stephanie waved over the waitress, and we both put in orders. “Okay, tell me what happened and leave nothing out.”

  I walked her through the timeline of events, including my night with Tamir and his stolen car. By the time I was done, our food had arrived. I dove into my chocolate chip pancakes, missing the huevos rancheros I would have had back home. Stephanie took a few bites as she processed my story, and I watched as worry lines set in over her brows.

  “I can’t believe you stole his car,” Stephanie said through a bite of toast. “That complicates everything.”

  “I didn’t know what else to do,” I argued, my eyes pleading with her to understand.

  She sighed and slouched against the back of the vinyl bench seat. “I get it. You have good reason to be worried about being tracked. I think it’s probably best if you disappear with as little paper trail as possible.” She reached in her purse and pulled out a fat envelope. “I gathered as much cash as I could on short notice. There’s not much else I can do right now.”

  “I know. This is a big help, though. Thank you.”

  “You have my number memorized, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Good. When you figure out where you’re going, get me a message.”

  I smiled and nodded, but I knew I wouldn’t. Whether the trail was paper or digital, I didn’t want anything linking me back to where I’d been.

  “There’s one other thing I can suggest, but it’s shady as shit.”

  I wiped my mouth and lifted my brows, signaling she had my attention.

  “I know a guy. He’s totally off the radar. I could give him a call and have him make you some papers to help you start over somewhere.”

  “Look at you. Playing with fire, aren’t you?”

  “It’s a long story.” She rolled her eyes, bringing a much-needed smile to my face. “He’s in Columbus, so you’ve got more driving ahead of you. Get out a pen, and I’ll give you his address. As soon as we’re done here, I’ll give him a call and tell him you need a new ID in twenty-four hours. He’s a bit nocturnal, so I’ll set up a meet for one o’clock tomorrow. That should give you time to get there and him time to make what you need.”

  “Thank you, Steph. I really do appreciate your help.”

  She gave me a sad smile and reached her hand out for mine across the table. “I just want you tucked away somewhere safe. I would offer my own place, but I think, right now, it’s better if you’re totally untraceable.”

  I agreed and was relieved she hadn’t pressured me to stay. We finished our food and said our goodbyes.

  Now, I was truly on my own.

  When I’d gone into the diner, the sun had just started its ascent into the crisp November sky. An hour later, the sky was fully lit and announcing the arrival of another day. I was surprised to find that starting my life over again didn’t feel so scary the second time around. Not that I was happy about it or had any desire to go through the motions, but after doing it once, I felt confident that I could do it again. Having the courage and confidence to uproot my life was as valuable as any stack of money I could receive. I would need all the mental strength I could summon.

  With a tiny, microscopic bounce renewed in my step, I walked to the car and slid inside to start the next leg of my journey. I pulled up Columbus, Ohio, on my phone GPS and pulled back onto the highway. It was there, among the hundreds of morning rush hour vehicles jockeying for position, that Tamir chose to make himself known.

  “Where exactly are we headed?” His growled warning came from the back seat and nearly scared me to death—literally.

  I screamed, and my entire body flinched, causing me to steer us within inches of the car beside me, then overcorrect onto the shoulder, a breath away from the guardrail. Once I’d regained control and was no longer on the verge of hyperventilating, I glared back at my stowaway. “What the actual fuck, Tamir? You nearly killed us!”

  “You’re yelling at me? You’re the one who stole my car.”

  “Without you in it! How the fuck did you get here?” I snuck glances at him in the rearview mirror, trying to convince myself that this was reality and not just some twisted figment of my imagination.

  “I followed you.”

  “How? I had your car,” I scoffed.

  He maneuvered into the front passenger seat, legs first, limber as a child gymnast, rather than six feet of muscular man. “No need for the reminder; I hadn’t forgotten.” He shot me a glare from beside me as he clicked his seat belt in place. “I borrowed a neighbor’s car.”

  “Ha! You mean you stole a car. This just gets better and better.”

  “You’re telling me. I’m the one who had a woman sneak out of my apartment in the middle of the night, steal my car, then lead me on a chase across Newark to catch her.”

  “Wait … how did you know I’d left, and how did you follow me?”

  “I have a silent alarm in my apartment.”

  “But there was no panel!”

  He smirked. “It’s in my bedroom. The flashing light woke me the minute you left. When I realized you’d taken my car, I used my phone app to locate its GPS position and came after you.”

  As he explained what had happened, questions started buzzing through my brain like a swarm of angry bees. Would his neighbor call the police when he noticed his car was missing? Would they trace Tamir back to me and plaster my picture all over the media? What on earth was I supposed to do with Tamir? Was I supposed to take him back to the city? I couldn’t possibly bring him with me. He had a life in New York, and I had no plans to go back there.

  “If you keep gnawing on that bottom lip, you’re going to draw blood.” Tamir glared at me, silently insisting I dole out an explanation.

  “I’m just a little freaked out. I know I’d already stolen your car, but I planned to abandon it, eventually, and had hoped you’d forgo calling the cops on me. Now, with your neighbor involved, I just don’t know what will happen.”

  “Forget about the cars,” he instructed impatiently. “The neighbor is a friend. I already gave him an explanation and have someone taking his car back to our building.”

  “Okay, but what am I supposed to do with you?”

  “I suppose that takes us back to my original question. Where are we headed?”

  “Does it matter?” I gaped at him. “I’m not going back to the city. In fact, this is ridiculous.” I put on my blinker, crossed four lanes of traffic, and took the next exit. “You need to get out and Uber back home.” I pulled into an abandoned gas station and put the car in park, then crossed my arms and stared at him.

  He leaned toward me, placing his elbow on the center console. “I need to Uber home? Is this not my car?”

  “Well … yes, but I stole it. It’s mine for the moment.”

  His lips lifted in a feral grin. “I don’t think you understand. I told you last night I was going to help you, and you’re going to get my help, whether you want it or not.”

  “What on earth are you saying? You can’t come with me.”

  “Why not?”

  “What … why … you can
’t just … ugh.” The words were just as choppy and unformed in my mind as they were on my tongue. He’d completely thrown me for a loop, and I had no idea what to say. Only after several deep breaths and an uncomfortably long silence was I able to communicate. “What about your job? Your apartment? You have a life. You can’t just pick up and leave for some stranger. That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “I’ll let Matthew know that something came up, and he’ll be able to sort it out. It’s not the first time I’ve had to leave town for an extended period. I don’t pay rent and have no plants to water or animals to feed. There is no great catastrophe that will befall me if I leave the city. And you have to remember, just because I go with you doesn’t mean I can’t ever go back.”

  I gripped the steering wheel as if it held all the answers, and if I squeezed tightly enough, I might glean some of them by osmosis. What Tamir was offering was incredibly tempting, while also terrifying. I would love to have someone keep me company and help keep me safe, but the way he’d gone about forcing my hand raised a bevy of red flags.

  I didn’t know what to think.

  Normal people didn’t just uproot their lives for a stranger. I knew that. I knew there had to be some underlying motivation, aside from his desperate need to be charitable. It could have been as simple as wanting to have sex with me. Men did a lot of outrageous things in the pursuit of sex.

  Yet something told me it was more than that.

  But what was I supposed to do? He had tracked me down and was there in the car with me on the side of the highway—the car I’d stolen from him—and he was insisting on coming with me. I couldn’t exactly force him from the car. He had me between a rock and a hard place, and he knew it.

  The tension in my arms softened, and I dropped my head to the side to peer at him. His features were inscrutable. A blank canvas of emotion, giving me no sense of what he might be thinking.

  “The answer is Columbus. We’re headed to Columbus.”

  Chapter 10

  Emily

  “Who was that you had breakfast with?” Tamir asked after we were back on the highway, and the car had started to fill with a suffocating silence.

  “She’s an old family friend. She knew about my situation and had told me, if I ever needed help, to call her.”

  “Was she able to help?”

  “She gave me some money and an address. That’s more than I had when I woke up this morning.”

  “I take it that’s why we’re headed to Columbus?”

  “Yeah. She has some friend there who may be able to give me a hand. All I know is that his name is Reggie, and I’m supposed to meet him tomorrow at one o’clock.”

  “You don’t have any idea how this person is supposed to be helping you?”

  Yes, but it’s none of your business. “No, I don’t,” I snapped. He was pushing for answers when I had so few of my own. I couldn’t help but be short with him.

  “And after that?”

  I glanced at him with a scowl, but his eyes were fused to the road ahead. He had to have been aware he was pushing my buttons but was clearly not interested in backing off.

  “I don’t know. I’m taking this one step at a time.”

  “Don’t you think it would be a good idea to form a couple of contingency plans?”

  “How exactly am I supposed to do that?” I spat at him, my anger now firmly taking hold. “This man could give me money or a place to stay or a bundle of sympathy flowers for my fucked-up life. I have no idea what to expect. Outside of that, the only thing there is to do is pick a spot on the map and start driving. There is no plan except stay alive. Don’t you get that?”

  He was quiet for several minutes before redirecting our conversation. “Where are you from? That takes one destination off the list of possibilities.”

  “A suburb of Los Angeles.”

  “That leaves the two coasts off-limits, but a whole lot of options in between.”

  “I had tossed around the idea of Chicago.”

  “Is there a reason you gravitate toward big cities?”

  I shrugged. “Not really, they just seem easier to blend in.”

  “Also a lot more opportunities to be spotted.”

  “What are you suggesting? I’m not going to go live by myself on a farm. I’ll die of boredom.”

  It was his turn to shrug. “Something to consider, that’s all.”

  By some miracle of God, he let the subject rest and stopped his incessant questions. His point about a more rural setting had been valid, but there was no way I would admit that to him. He seemed to think he had all the answers. I couldn’t give him the smug satisfaction of knowing he might have been right.

  I turned on the satellite radio and channel surfed and sang for the next few hours. If we talked on occasion, it wasn’t about anything of importance. We took a brief pit stop in Pennsylvania at lunch, gassing up and grabbing food.

  “When we get back on the road, why don’t I drive for a bit?” Tamir suggested as we walked back to the car. “You’ve been struggling to stay awake, and it’s not going to be any easier once you have a belly full of fast food.” Apparently, he had noticed my gallant effort to stay awake during the last hour of driving.

  “I can’t let you drive. The second I’m in that passenger seat, I’ll pass out, and you’ll turn this car around and drive us straight back to New York.”

  “If you get back in the driver’s seat, you’re going to pass out behind the wheel and drive us off a bridge.” He backed me toward the car, one imposing step at a time.

  “You didn’t get much more sleep than I did last night.” I was being difficult, mostly because I was so tired. My back stopped when it hit the driver’s side door, and Tamir towered over me. His body pressed against mine, our faces inches apart, and his hands caging me in on either side.

  “You can accept my promise that I will not turn this car around, or you can watch helplessly as I throw you in the back seat, but I am not letting you kill us both by driving right now. So, what’s it going to be?” His voice purred across my skin, igniting my body in a lusty heat and making my lips swell with the need to press against his.

  Suddenly, I felt much more awake.

  I wasn’t crazy about either of my options, but I had been struggling earlier, and I didn’t want to chance running off the road. Accidentally killing myself would put a real kink in my plan to stay alive. I’d have to put some small degree of trust in Tamir and hope that he was telling me the truth. Even if he did reroute our course, it was better than being in a car accident.

  “Fine, you drive,” I muttered.

  After conceding victory, I expected Tamir to step back and release me.

  He didn’t. At least, not at first.

  Scalding coffee-colored eyes dropped to where I could feel my pulse thudding at the base of my neck, then he lowered his face to the side of mine until his lips ghosted across the skin behind my ear. I immediately turned my face away, but whether to escape him or to allow him access, I wasn’t sure.

  He took a deep breath, inhaling my very essence with a lungful of air, then released it on a shaky exhale of practiced restraint. Wariness battled with longing. Frustration collided with curiosity, each of us lost in our own silent, internal war until self-discipline won out.

  Mine had been an epic struggle to simply keep from arching against him while molten need pooled deep in my belly. The source of his struggle was a mystery to me, but its presence was evident in the cataclysmic heat of his stare.

  Then it was over.

  He lifted himself off me and stepped back. I could feel his penetrating stare devouring me, but I was too overwhelmed to meet his eyes. I stumbled around to the passenger side and slipped inside. It took a solid ten minutes for my heart to stop throwing a rave in my chest. Neither of us said a word about what had just occurred between us.

  Not long after I calmed down, I laid my seat back and finally got some rest. About two hours later, I startled awake, greeted by the dev
astating tsunami that was my reality. I’d had a bad dream while I slept, but it was nothing compared to what waited for me in the real world. Stuck in a car with a man I didn’t know, running from people who wanted to kill me.

  My life was in shambles.

  I dropped my head back and watched the countryside fly past. It came as a pleasant surprise when I noticed a highway sign advertising Cambridge, Ohio. He hadn’t turned us around. While I had hoped he wouldn’t, a part of me was genuinely shocked that he hadn’t. If I had been in his position, I wasn’t sure what I would have done.

  “I was starting to wonder if you were out for the night.”

  “Sorry about that.”

  “Not a problem, but I’m going to need directions after I make a quick phone call.” He pulled his phone from his jacket pocket and selected a name in his contacts. The car immediately transferred the call to the speaker system, but to my surprise, Tamir didn’t send the call back to his phone.

  “You’re bailing, aren’t you?” The raspy, feminine voice filled the car, causing a mass of tar-like jealousy to fill my stomach.

  “I had to head out of town for a while. Not sure when I’ll be back.”

  “Don’t be gone too long; I’ll be big as a house and worthless,” she pouted.

  Big as a house? Was she … pregnant? Oh, Jesus. Did Tamir have a pregnant girlfriend back in the city? Now I felt defeated and slimy, lusting after a man who was already taken.

  “Somehow, I very much doubt that,” Tamir said with a smirk. “I’ll buzz you when I get back. Until then, try to stay out of trouble.” The line clicked dead. She’d hung up.

  I glanced at Tamir out of the corner of my eye. “She sounds … lovely.”

  “She’s something, that’s for sure. Her name is Maria. You may have seen me training with her before class most nights.”

  I whipped around in my seat to face him. “That was her? The badass woman you’re always sparring with? You’re having a baby with her?”

  He threw his head back and laughed deep from his flat, chiseled belly. “No,” he said when he finally calmed down. “She’s married to another man; it’s his baby she’s carrying. I’m just her trainer and longtime friend.”