The Other Brother (The Collision Series)

by Kristen Granata

  “Death is a scary thing, man. I get it,” TJ said. “But you can’t stop yourself from having a life just because you’re afraid of what it will bring. You can’t let fear rule you. Fear isn’t real. It’s all in your head. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can heal.”

  TJ was right about one thing—the fear was in my head. It had taken command, and was now running the show. Every thought I had, every move I made from here on out would be controlled by fear. Fear had taken all of my love, joy, and hope and tossed them into the dumpster. I had nothing left. Fear had completely numbed my heart. I was now empty inside.

  Charlotte

  “Get up and get dressed. We’re going out!”

  I let out a frustrated sigh. “Mal, I really don’t feel like going out tonight.”

  “It’s been two weeks. I want my friend back. There’s nothing you can do right now. You need to get your mind off him for a little while.”

  A loud, crowded bar would hardly help get my mind off of Tanner. Admittedly, I couldn’t take another night of sitting in my room and wondering if he was going to call. If he would ever call. My heart was breaking—for him, and because of him, all at the same time.

  “So get dressed, or I’m coming in there to get you dressed!”

  I stared at the phone after she ended the call. I had no doubt that she would live up to her word, so I quickly swung my legs out of bed.

  Big Nose Kate’s was filled with the usual crowd for a Friday night. No bands were on tonight, so the DJ’s dance music played straight through. Mallory bought the first round of drinks and then dragged me onto the dance floor.

  “You could not look more miserable right now,” she shouted in my ear.

  “I’m sorry. I just want him to call me.”

  “I know you do. This will all blow over. You’ll see.”

  I hoped it would, but what would that mean for us? Would Tanner push me away every time something bad happened to him? I didn’t think our relationship would be like this, but we had met during such a tumultuous time in our lives. What if we couldn’t withstand the chaos? The more I thought about it, the sicker it made me.

  Mallory was right. I needed to forget about everything. Just for one night. I tried to fix my face and mustered a smile for my friend. She was the only thing I had to help get me through this, and I was grateful to have her.

  We danced to songs from a mixture of decades. Soon, we were back at the bar for our second round. Mallory ordered happily as she bopped to the beat. Then, I watched as her expression suddenly changed.

  “I don’t fucking believe it,” she spat.

  I spun around to see what she was looking at, surprised by the two dark eyes looking back at me a few stools over.

  Tanner. He wasn’t home with his family. He wasn’t crying in his room. He was here.

  Tears instantly filled my eyes. I couldn’t help it. Did he lie about needing space? What was he doing here? I whirled around and pushed my way to the exit. I didn’t stop until I reached Mallory’s car.

  Mallory was not far behind me when I saw Tanner shove past her. The closer he got, the more apparent it became that he was drunk. Had he been here drinking by himself? I didn’t remember seeing anyone with him. His eyes were glassy and bloodshot. He stumbled as he ran in a crooked line to get to me.

  “Charlotte,” he breathed, taking my face aggressively into his hands. He covered my mouth with his, but he tasted like whiskey, and his kiss was too forceful. This wasn’t the Tanner I knew.

  “Tanner, stop.” I pushed him off me.

  “I’ve missed you so much,” he slurred.

  “Have you?” Mallory snapped. “Because you sure as fuck have a funny way of showing it.”

  Tanner squeezed his eyes shut as he swayed back and forth. “Please just let me explain.”

  “I will let you explain when you’re sober. Not like this.” I yanked on the door handle of Mallory’s car.

  Tanner grabbed my arm, stopping me from getting into the car. “Charlotte, wait. Please don’t leave.”

  I tried to shake myself free from his grasp, but he was holding on too tightly. “Tanner, you’re hurting me. Let go!”

  Mallory tried prying his fingers off my arm, but that only made him hold on tighter. “Get off her, you asshole!”

  “You don’t understand! I can’t lose you, Charlotte!” he yelled, pulling me closer to him.

  “You’re going to lose me if you don’t let me go, Tanner!” I felt a familiar panic twisting around my lungs as he clutched my arm.

  When he didn’t let go, I did what I had to do. I kicked him in his kneecap and twisted his wrist until he released me.

  “Oh, shit!” Mallory exclaimed.

  Suddenly, TJ appeared out of nowhere. He spun Tanner by his shoulders and shoved him away from me. “Get in the fucking car.” Then, as if nothing had happened, he turned his striking eyes to me and smiled. “Nice work, Charlotte.”

  “Where did you even come from?”

  “I was having a drink with your boyfriend.”

  “You know Tanner?”

  “Right now, we have a love/hate relationship. Mostly the hate part, but … I think I’m growing on him.” He winked.

  “Oh. Well, thank you for your help.”

  He raised his hands in the air. “I didn’t do anything. That was all you, baby girl.”

  “That was fucking amazing,” Mallory said. “I wish I’d gotten that on camera.”

  I rubbed my arm. “I’m really worried about him, TJ.”

  “He’s going through a hard time right now. I’m trying to help him work through it.”

  “Great. He’s pushing me away, but taking the help of a stranger. No offense,” I quickly added.

  “None taken. I’m going to sober him up and give him a ride home. Something tells me he’ll be calling me in the morning. Your man has got a lot of anger inside.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “I’m going to help him channel it.”

  “Maybe you can channel him to call me while you’re at it.”

  TJ grinned. “Don’t you worry, sweetheart. He is completely and utterly crazy about you. He’s just having a hard time dealing with the loss of his father. Death scares the shit out of people like that.”

  “I really hope you can help him.”

  “He’s a stubborn little shit, but I think he’ll be ready after tonight.” He waved. “Get home safely, ladies.”

  “That man is fucking delicious,” Mallory murmured.

  Tanner

  I could feel the pounding in my head before I even opened my eyes. Sunlight streamed through my window. Why is my knee throbbing so much? The alarm clock read past noon. Then, the memories from last night came flooding back. Fuck. Me.

  I went to reach for my phone, but jumped when I saw Khloe’s big round eyes staring at me from the foot of my bed.

  “Jesus Christ.”

  “Not Jesus. Just me.” She shrugged.

  “Why is it so bright in here?”

  “Your blinds are open.” She climbed on top of my pillow and stretched onto her toes to reach the string on the blinds. “There. That better?”

  “A little bit. Thanks, Squirt.”

  “Mom says you got home late last night. She said you were drunk. What does drunk mean?”

  “Drunk means you’re a dumb fu—” I caught myself. “A dummy.”

  “That’s okay. If you were acting like a dummy last night, then you need to change your behavior today. Every day is a new chance to start over. That’s what my teacher says to Aiden when he doesn’t listen.”

  I couldn’t fight the smile that tugged at the corners of my mouth. “You’re very wise, little Yoda.”

  Her face scrunched. “What’s a Yoda?”

  I tickled her belly until she squealed. “You’re a Yoda! Now, scram. I have to get dressed.” There was somewhere I needed to be.

  Twenty minutes later, I found myself standing inside TJ’s gym. Punching bags outlined t
he massive room. To the left was an area with several giant tires; to the right, a woman with larger muscles than I had was coaching a man to slap thick ropes against the ground.

  TJ emerged from the octagon-shaped ring in the center of the room. He shook hands with an older balding man who looked like he had just taken a shower with his clothes on. The poor dude was winded. Meanwhile, TJ hadn’t broken a sweat. He made everyone else around him look tiny.

  “I gotta be honest, bro,” TJ called out. “I wasn’t sure you were going to show.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m here.”

  “I like it when people prove me wrong. Doesn’t happen very often.” He gestured to the ring behind him. “Step into my office. Lose the socks and shoes.”

  I did as instructed. I hoisted myself over the ropes and stood inside the ring. It was a lot bigger than it looked on TV.

  “You’re scrappy.” TJ bounced back and forth. “You’ve got tenacity. That’s a dangerous thing.”

  He swung and missed.

  I put my fists up, ready to defend myself against whatever TJ was going to throw at me. No warm-up? Shouldn’t I be taping up first? Maybe a mouth guard?

  “You’re quick, too.” He swung again. I blocked it and landed a punch to his rib cage.

  TJ smiled, unfazed. “I bet your pretty little girlfriend can hit harder than that.”

  This time, I swung at his face. He dodged it effortlessly and rammed into my midsection, sending us crashing onto the floor. He instantly popped back up onto his feet and held his hand out to help me stand.

  “And there it is.”

  “There what is?” I asked as I stood.

  “Your anger. You let it control you, and it makes you weak.”

  Weak? “I’m not weak.”

  “You are, and that’s okay. You won’t be once I get done with you. Recognizing your weaknesses will help you work on them. Then, they become your strengths.”

  I raised my fists again. “I’m not fucking weak.” I wanted to knock the smug smile off his face. He didn’t know a damn thing about me.

  “You got drunk every night this week because your dad died. That sounds pretty fucking weak to me.”

  I lunged and slammed him onto his back. I threw punch after punch, each one harder than the last.

  TJ blocked every single one.

  “Are you done yet?” he asked, sounding bored. He pushed me off, spun around, and twisted my arm backwards in the blink of an eye.

  It felt like my elbow was going to break in half. I tapped out within seconds, and TJ released me.

  “Just because you beat up the punks in high school doesn’t mean you’re tough. All you have are muscles and rage. If you don’t learn how to channel them, you’ve got nothing.”

  I wanted to tell this guy to go fuck himself, and then leave the gym.

  “I get you’re upset about your father,” he continued. “You’ve been looking for something quick and easy to mask the pain. Instead of confronting your feelings, you ran from them. You looked for an escape. If you decide to train here, with me, you’re going to have to stop running and deal with your shit. You have to feel everything if you want to get over it.”

  I hated hearing him out my flaws into the light like that. It made me sound even more pathetic than I felt. “Is that what this is about? We hold hands and sing ‘Kumbaya’?”

  “This is about you, Tanner. This is about facing your problems head-on. If you want to keep wallowing in your pathetic bullshit, be my guest. If you want to conceal your fear with snarky remarks, go right ahead. But last night, you put your hands on your girlfriend. You didn’t mean to, but that doesn’t matter. You did. So, if you’re ready to step up and be a man—the kind of man who will make his father proud as he looks down on him—then get the fuck up and let’s fucking go.”

  The last thing my father said to me was that he was proud of me. TJ’s words hit home. I got to my feet, and squared my shoulders. “I’m ready.”

  * * *

  Being without Charlotte had been hell. Each day that passed hurt more than the one before. I needed to talk to her. I had to explain. But what would I say? I was terrified to be with her because I was terrified to be without her. I couldn’t live without her, yet I didn’t know how to live knowing that I could lose her. I was stuck on a torturous merry-go-round of fear, unable to step off and see straight.

  Still, the way I’d behaved was unacceptable. She deserved more. So, I bravely clicked on Charlotte’s name on my phone and listened to the ringing, praying she would answer.

  “Hello?”

  “You answered.”

  “Yeah, well … I wanted to make sure you weren’t dying in a ditch somewhere,” she said flatly.

  “More like wallowing in guilt.”

  “Good.”

  “Good that I’m not dead, or that I’m wallowing in guilt?”

  “Both.”

  “I love it when you’re mad.”

  “Is that why you make me mad so often?”

  “Charlotte, I need to see you. I don’t want to do this over the phone.”

  She paused. “Do what?”

  “Apologize. Explain.”

  “I know you’re sorry, Tanner. I don’t want to keep hearing apologies from you. They don’t mean anything unless you stop doing the things you’re sorry for.”

  “I know. I just—”

  “No,” she interrupted. “If you’re truly sorry, then you’ll prove it.”

  “How? Tell me. I’ll do anything.”

  “I want you to call that TJ guy and tell him you’re going to start training at his gym.”

  “That will make you forgive me?”

  “It’s a start.”

  “I already went there today and had my first session.”

  “Good. I have to get back to work.”

  “Wait.”

  I heard her soft exhale. She was always so patient with me.

  “I want to see you later. I need to explain what’s been going on with me ever since … since Dad.”

  “Train with TJ for a week and I’ll think about seeing you.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Mallory yelled in the background.

  “Shh!” Charlotte hushed her friend. “Tanner, I gotta go.”

  Then, she ended the call.

  Eighteen

  Tanner

  “He’s a selfish prick!”

  “Tanner, calm down.” Mom rubbed her forehead as I paced the dining room like a caged animal.

  “How could Chase leave us at a time like this? How are we going to survive? I can’t fix every car that comes in. I can’t do it all by myself!”

  “We will figure it out.”

  Chase and Merritt were moving to California. Chase had gotten a call from an old friend who knew someone at a record label, and now they were off to follow his dreams of being a rock star. Once again, Chase was putting himself first instead of his family. How would Mom and I manage the shop without two of our workers? How could he even think about leaving Mom? A month ago, Khloe lost her father, and now she was going to lose more family members. I stand by my statement. Chase is a selfish fucking prick.

  “I knew something was up with him last night at dinner, but I didn’t expect this! And Merritt doesn’t even want to go!”

  Mom’s eyes narrowed. “How do you know that?”

  “She said she wanted to stay here until we had time to interview and hire new employees … but I could see it in her eyes. She doesn’t want to go.”

  “It must be scary for her to move across the country. Away from everything familiar.” She cleared her throat. “Like Charlotte. Where has she been, by the way?”

  My chest heaved with each breath. “I’m going to take a ride to the gym.”

  Mom nodded. “That sounds like a good idea.” She stood with me and gave my arm a squeeze. “Everything is going to be okay. Whatever life throws at us, we will get through it together.”

  I wondered if she believed that. It sounded like she was
trying to convince the both of us.

  * * *

  “You’re fired up tonight.”

  I threw punch after punch against the pad TJ was holding. “My brother has that effect on me.”

  “You shouldn’t let him.”

  “How can I not?” Punch. Punch. “Everything he does affects my family. His selfish actions affect my life. Yet, he doesn’t seem to care.”

  “You focus too much on what other people do. That’s why you’re always so angry.”

  Punch. Punch. Punch. “Then tell me, O Wise One. What should I do?”

  TJ dropped the pad and started sparring with me. He bounced from side to side, light on his feet, planning his first attack. “You should focus on yourself. On what you’re going to do to move forward.”

  I ducked as he threw his first punch. “What the fuck am I going to do when I’m down two workers? We’re going to drown.”

  TJ grinned devilishly as I evaded his next few throws. “If you think you’re going to drown, then you will.” He slammed into my midsection, and I fell on my back. Effortlessly, he popped back up and resumed bouncing. “Focus on the moves you need to make to succeed.”

  I grunted as I got to my feet. “I’ll need to find new employees. People who know what the fuck they’re doing. That could take months.”

  TJ shrugged. “It could.”

  “Easy for you to say when it’s not your business on the line.” I swung and landed a punch to TJ’s ribs.

  “You think it was easy getting to where I am now?” He returned a punch to my gut. “You have no fucking clue what I went through.”

  I kept my mouth shut for the remainder of the session. TJ was right. I had no idea what his life had been like. He was tough as nails, and I could tell he hadn’t been born that way. You don’t cover your entire body in tattoos if you’ve had an easy life. TJ enjoys the pain because he’s come out on the other side.

  I thought about what TJ said for the rest of the night. In my living room, I took Dad’s urn off the ledge and sat with him on the couch. I couldn’t control what Chase did. I could only control my own actions. I’ll have to put an advertisement in the paper for a mechanic. I’ll have to set aside time for interviews. I sighed heavily as I patted the sky-blue urn in my lap.