Rush

by Deborah Bladon

  “He was about to be deployed.” She straightens in her chair. “I tell you, Emma, in his uniform, you’d never find a more handsome man.”

  I curl my hand around my coffee cup.

  “Don’t get me wrong.” She shakes her head. “I’m grateful for the life I’ve had, but I do wonder about what might have been.”

  I lean back on my chair. “Is your brother still…did he know about you two?”

  “You’re asking if he knew about Tommy and me back in the day, or did he find out when we moved in together?” Her brows dart up behind her silver eyeglass frames.

  “Yes.” I take a sip of coffee.

  “The day of Tommy’s wake, my brother told me that he always knew.” A soft sigh escapes her. “He could tell there was something brewing between us before Tommy was deployed.”

  “So when you moved in together, he was happy for you?”

  “He was with Tommy the day he bought this ring when I was twenty-one.” She circles one heart and then the other with her fingertip. “My brother had no idea who the ring was for. Tommy kept it all those years hoping one day he’d get the chance to give it to me.”

  I stare at the ring. “It’s beautiful.”

  Holding her hand up, she admires it in the late afternoon sunlight streaming into the café. “To me, it is. It was to my Tommy too.”

  I take a breath to ward off the emotions I feel.

  “I have no idea what your situation is with the young man you’re staying with.” She pauses. “What’s his name, dear?”

  “Case,” I whisper.

  “Case may be your brother’s best friend, but he could be your Tommy.” She reaches to cover my hand with hers. “From my experience, what a brother wants most for his sister is for her to find a good man to love.”

  “I can’t love Case.” I laugh and shake my head. “We’re very different. He lives in California. I live in Seattle. It can’t work.”

  “Love can always work.”

  I bite my lip. “My grandma used to tell me that.”

  “Us grandmas are smart like that.” She taps her chin. “Wise words from wise women will never steer you wrong.”

  Chapter 36

  Emma

  “Miss Owens. It’s good to see you.” Lester tugs on the handle of one of the lobby doors. “How was your day?”

  Long and emotionally draining.

  “Memorable,” I answer honestly. “What about you? How has your day been?”

  He purses his lips together. “Mrs. Fields in 3A has a new dog. Suffice it to say we are not friends yet.”

  He holds out his hand. I spot a faint red spot near the base of his thumb.

  “Did the dog bite you?”

  “Nip.” He opens his mouth to bare his teeth. “It was a nip, but Mrs. Fields felt terrible about it. I’ll be dining on a juicy steak tonight at my favorite establishment uptown courtesy of her.”

  None of this is my business, but Lester doesn’t seem to care about that.

  “How is Mr. Owens?” He tilts his head. “Any word on the wedding?”

  I slide my phone into my bag. I promised Lester that I’d show him any pictures Drake sent me of his wedding, but guilt is getting in the way of that.

  How can I show this man the beautiful photo of my brother and Jane if my parents haven’t even seen it?

  Silently cursing Drake for putting me in this position, I sigh. “They were married earlier today. Drake couldn’t be happier.”

  “No one deserves happiness more than him.” Reaching into the front pocket of his pants, he tugs out his phone. “I’ll send him a congratulatory text.”

  This is my cue to run, so that’s what I do.

  “Have a good night, Lester,” I call over my shoulder as I hurry toward an open elevator door.

  “You as well, Miss Owens,” he sounds back just as I step inside and press the button for the twelfth floor.

  ***

  Wrestling with disappointment, I stand in the foyer of Case’s apartment, taking in the silence.

  He’s not here.

  I haven’t heard anything from him since I rushed out of his office earlier.

  After spending more than two hours having coffee with Ruth, I walked with her to her apartment on Park Avenue.

  We shared a brief hug before we said goodbye.

  Our time together taught me a lot about the history of New York and the kindness of strangers.

  She relived her youth in this city after I bought her a second cup of coffee. I sat mesmerized by the stories of what Manhattan was like decades ago.

  I doubt that I’ll ever see her again, but I’ll never forget this afternoon.

  I’ll never forget this day.

  I kissed Case.

  Tossing my keys in my bag, I start toward the guestroom. I need a bubble bath and some soothing music to help me wind down.

  My phone starts up on a ring in my purse. Part of me wants to ignore it, but I fish it out.

  Sandy’s name flashes across the screen.

  I could let the call go to voicemail, but that’s not something she’d do to me. Sucking in a deep breath, I answer the call. “Hey, sweetie. I’m sorry I had to go so abruptly earlier, but a …”

  “I’m pregnant!”

  My bag slides down my shoulder and hits the floor as my body goes numb.

  “Emma, are you there?” Her voice vibrates with excitement. “I’m having a baby!”

  I grip my free hand on the corner of the wall for balance. “What? With who?”

  “Kylan,” she spits out the name of her most current ex. “It’s our baby.”

  “But…I thought you two…how?” I fumble through a series of questions, not able to get one coherent one out.

  “We spent the night together before he left for Michigan two months ago,” she confesses. “We’ve been chatting since, Em. Things are better. No. Things are amazing. I’m moving in with him, and we’re having a baby.”

  “You’re moving to Michigan?” Tears prick the corners of my eyes.

  Sandy was the last thread that kept me tied to Seattle. The only thing left for me there is a job if I even have that to go back to.

  “Not for a few months.” She sighs. “I have to finish out my contracts here, and then I’ll make the move before the baby arrives.”

  I’m suddenly grateful to all of her current interior design clients.

  “We’ll celebrate as soon as you’re back.” Her voice takes on a lighter tone. “Sparkling apple juice and pickle sandwiches.”

  An unexpected laugh bubbles out of me. “I’ll pass on the pickle sandwiches.”

  “Whatever works, Auntie Emma.”

  My hand leaps to my mouth to hold back a sob. Sandy has always wanted a baby. Her dreams are coming true. Everyone I love is creating the life they’ve always wanted.

  Maybe it’s time I did the same.

  Chapter 37

  Case

  “A man can’t live on…” Gavin drops a white paper bag on my desk. “Whatever the fuck you’ve been eating.”

  I glance up and nod a silent thank you to him. “Nothing. I haven’t eaten all day.”

  My appetite up and left when Emma ran out of my office with regret storming inside of her.

  I should be at my apartment talking to her, but instead, I’m still at the office, trying to find someone who can pinpoint the issue with Letter Leap.

  Our stringent testing protocols failed this time. I’ve gone through Drake’s notes on the development of the game, and I see gaps where there should be accountability in the form of test runs.

  I don’t know if he was preoccupied with planning his surprise wedding or if he put too much trust in the team he assigned to the project, but there was a fracture, and our release timeline fell victim to it.

  “It’s almost midnight, Cason.” Gavin drops into one of the chairs in front of Drake’s desk. “You’re pulling worse hours than me.”

  I shrug. “I’ve got too much invested in this game. I have to
put everything into it.”

  Shoving a hand through his hair, he leans forward. “Is that really what’s going on here?”

  This conversation can either stay on the track I want it to, or it can venture in the direction that Gavin’s leaning, which is seven years in the past. I’m not on board for that, so I take the wheel to steer it. “If this app fails, it’s on me. I have a lot depending on it.”

  Gavin’s interest in Cabbott has never been more than a comment or two. Usually, some form of ‘ I saw your name in Forbes again, you rich bastard ’ or ‘ no one needs an app for that.’

  He’s as skilled in his profession as I am. The difference is that when I go to sleep at night, I’m not doing it with the knowledge that I’ve saved a life. I entertain, sometimes I inform, but I don’t hold anyone’s future in my hands.

  “Eat the sandwich.” He pushes the bag toward me. “You might want to think about getting some sleep too.”

  I would if I could concentrate on anything but the way Emma’s lips tasted or how it felt to have her hands on me.

  “Are you daydreaming?” He huffs out a laugh.

  “What? No,” I answer too quickly.

  “Let me guess.” He taps a finger on the corner of the desk. “It’s Emma Owens, right?”

  Peering into the bag, I nod. “She was here.”

  “And that’s got you looking all starry-eyed?” He shakes his head. “What happened when she was here?”

  I’m knee-deep in this, so I dive all the way in. “We kissed.”

  He leans back on the chair. “Just a kiss?”

  I rub my eyes, exhaustion finally setting over me. “I’ve never had a kiss like that before.”

  A smile creeps over his mouth. “Was the feeling mutual?”

  I hang my head. “It was until she remembered that I’m friends with her brother.”

  Gavin digs in the bag and pulls out a paper-wrapped sandwich. Opening it, he grabs one half and takes a bite. “Kiss her again, and she might forget.”

  Laughing, I pick up the other half of the sandwich. “Thanks for sharing your dinner with me.”

  “I wasn’t about to let it go to waste.” He motions for me to eat. “Finish up and go home, Case. If Emma felt anything from that kiss, she’s sitting in your apartment, waiting for you.”

  ***

  I spent another two hours after Gavin left my office trying to focus on work. I failed. I’m finally in the main bedroom of my apartment.

  Emma has to be fast asleep.

  I stopped outside the door to the guestroom, but there was nothing but silence behind it.

  I expected as much.

  Heading to the bathroom, I drop my clothes along the way.

  A shower will soothe me, and help clear my mind. I hit the control panel and step in. As the cool water beats over me, I close my eyes, but all I can focus on is that kiss.

  Who the fuck kisses like that?

  I swear I felt it in every part of me.

  I still do.

  It’s the first time I’ve felt anything but numbness in years. I don’t deserve it, but fuck , I crave it.

  I rake a hand through my hair and exhale audibly. I need to try and sleep if I’m going to face my life tomorrow.

  Resting my hand over my heart, I take a moment to recite the same silent prayer I do every night hoping that if there is peace to be had, that every soul here on earth and those lost, will find it.

  Chapter 38

  Emma

  I heard Case come home late last night.

  After learning about Sandy’s baby and seeing the picture from Drake’s wedding, I thought about how different my life would be if I had stayed engaged to Beauregard.

  Settling for someone I don’t love would have trapped me in a marriage that would have ended at some point.

  I walked away because I knew it wasn’t right for me.

  The kiss with Case was proof of that.

  I felt more in that moment than I felt the entire time I was with Beau.

  A knock at the apartment door lures my gaze in that direction.

  I’m already dressed for the day in a pair of faded jeans and a simple blue sweater. My hair is in loose waves, and I only applied the bare essentials for makeup today. The pale pink lipstick and mascara I’m wearing will have to suffice. I don’t have the energy for more.

  I swing open the door and find the face I was expecting.

  Lester smiles. “Miss Owens, a good morning to you.”

  “And to you.” I slide my hand into the front pocket of my jeans, hoping I have at least a few dollars in there.

  I come up empty.

  Lester watches my movements before he shoves a coffee and a bouquet of brightly colored flowers at me.

  My heart skips a beat. It’s not because I’m in desperate need of a caffeine fix. It’s the flowers. They’re breathtaking. My gaze lands on the small white envelope. Case must have sent these. I’ve never received flowers from any man before other than my dad. He sent me a beautiful bunch of daisies the day I graduated from college.

  “I took a walk over to Palla on Fifth and thought you might enjoy a coffee.”

  Does that mean the coffee was his idea, and not Case’s?

  “Thank you,” I offer because good manners are a gift to others.

  I tell my students that. It’s wisdom passed on from my grandma.

  “And these were just delivered.” He takes in the fragrance of the bouquet with a sniff of his nose over the blossoms.

  Opening my palm, I wait for him to hand the flowers over.

  “It looks like they came from Wild Lilac. It’s the favorite florist of many of our residents.” He glances at the flowers before his gaze settles on me. “The delivery person suggested I call you to come down to the lobby to get them, but I offered to bring them up.”

  I don’t need to be hit over the head with a flashing neon sign. Lester wants a tip for his trouble.

  I shift the coffee to my right hand so I can fish in my left pocket.

  I tug on the bill I feel in there.

  Before I have it out, Lester’s hand is in front of him.

  My eyes drop to the twenty dollar bill I’m holding.

  Dammit. I paste on a smile as I hand the ransom for my flowers over to him.

  “Thank you very much,” he says, half-bowing in appreciation. “Enjoy the coffee and the flowers.”

  With a kick of my foot, I close the door once he’s on the other side.

  I place the coffee on the foyer table before I furiously rip open the envelope attached to the wrapping paper on the flowers.

  With my heart pounding in anticipation, I read the card aloud. “Em. Consider these a thank you for keeping our secret. We can’t wait to tell the folks we’re married. Love, Drake and Jane.”

  Disappointment mars my excitement over the floral gift.

  I shouldn’t have jumped to the conclusion that Case sent the flowers. I can’t wish something into existence regardless of how badly my heart wants it.

  I head to the kitchen with the flowers in hand, in search of a vase.

  I rifle through the cabinets until I find a tall silver beaded trumpet vase. I had no idea my brother had such excellent taste.

  After cutting the tips off the stems with a pair of scissors I find in a drawer, I arrange the flowers in the vase.

  Standing back, I admire their beauty.

  This calls for a picture.

  I race to my room to grab my phone, stopping to scoop up the coffee cup off the foyer table on my back to the kitchen.

  After I take the bouquet photo, I type out a text message to my brother thanking him for the flowers.

  Emma: I got the flowers, Drake. Thanks to you and Jane. xo

  Just as I’m about to drop my phone on the counter, it buzzes.

  I pick it up and scan the screen, but the message isn’t from Drake. It’s from Case.

  Case : Emma, how are you? How did you sleep?

  There’s just enough concern in t
he message to suggest he cares, but not enough to indicate that the kiss has lingered with him the way it has with me.

  I respond without putting any thought into it.

  Emma: I’m good. I slept okay. How are you? Did you sleep at all?

  I wait as he types out a reply.

  Case: I’m fine. I squeezed in a couple of hours. It looks like I’ll be stuck at work for the day.

  If he wasn’t facing an issue with the release of the new game app, I might think he’s avoiding me after the kiss.

  But, Case is honest. I know he lives his life that way, so I need to accept that he’s actually focusing on work.

  Emma: I’m going to hang out here.

  When a reply doesn’t come, I tuck my phone in my pocket and head back to the guestroom with my coffee and the vase, debating whether to surprise Case at his office.

  By the time the coffee cup is empty an hour later, I’m settled on the bed with my laptop, watching a movie.

  I glance at the window and the rain beating down on Manhattan.

  I take it as a sign that I need to stay inside today, so I snuggle under the covers and fall victim to a romance movie where the heroine falls in love with the hero in a small town with a big heart.

  Chapter 39

  Emma

  I read the text message Case sent me this morning for the third time.

  Case: How are you today? I’m still chained to my desk.

  I meant to answer before I got on the subway, but I was in such a hurry that I dropped my phone in my purse, locked the apartment door, and darted out of the building.

  Lester tossed me a wave, along with something about wishing me well.

  I smiled back, hoping he didn’t think I was rude.

  I don’t have any pocket change left to line his glove.

  “Are you playing Gem Stars?” Mickey cranes his neck to try and see what I’m gazing at.

  I’m at Velvet Bay Books in Brooklyn with Mickey, his mom, and Bella.