Bury! The Lead

by Shelley Dawn Siddall

  “So how is this going to work Crystal? Are you going to sign over your entire paycheck?”

  Crystal sighed. “Mom, even if I gave you the entire eight dollars I made today, I don’t think it would do much to defray the cost of the meal we had tonight, let alone a week’s worth of groceries. Plus, I also have something else on my mind which is going to cost money.”

  “Uh-oh.”

  Another crash from the kitchen interrupted Crystal’s next topic. Mother and daughter raced to the kitchen and found Matt on his hands and knees picking up pieces of the glass lasagna pan.

  Crystal was just about to help him when she looked at the sink and elbowed her mom.

  “Matt! How much soap did you use?” Joanne asked as the suds dripped over the edge of the sink onto the floor.

  “Sorry Jo, I never make these mistakes at home. Somehow I’m all fingers and thumbs when I’m at your place.”

  “And speaking of digits, I think you might have lost one of yours. Your finger is bleeding, Matt,” Crystal pointed out. “Look, I’ll clean up here. You guys go and have fun with bandages.”

  “Thanks CeeCee,” Joanne said, as she led Matt to the bathroom medicine cabinet.

  ***

  CeeCee. Dad always called me that, she thought fondly as she tidied up. I wish I knew him now. I wonder what he would think of that snake Scott Avery and how he treated Peter and Rosa. He’d arrest him for failing to be kind.

  That was their joke. Every time she came home crying from school because someone had teased her about her lisp, her dad always said he was going to go arrest them for ‘failing to be kind’. Then he would rush out the door, even if he had his slippers on, and then run around the house and come in the other door.

  “I couldn’t find them; but I’ll catch them next time!” he’d say.

  It always made Crystal feel better.

  And now, here I am all grown up, she mused. A thought came out of the blue.

  “I’m the age Dad was when he died,” she said to the empty kitchen. She continued talking out loud to herself. “Yup! I was a graduation baby. Mom and Dad really shook up the town with their pregnancy.”

  “To say nothing of Grandma and Grandpa!” Joanne said.

  Crystal whirled around. “Mom; you shouldn’t interrupt me when I’m talking to myself! I might lose my train of thought and then where would I be?”

  Joanne put her arms around her daughter. “You would be always in my heart, my little love child.”

  “Oh good gravy Mom, enough with the mushiness.”

  “So what’s this other business you wanted to talk about?”

  “Wait. Is Matt alive?”

  Joanne helped put the dishes away. “It was touch and go there for awhile; but he’ll live.”

  “Good. I like him. I think it’s kind of cute that he is nervous around you still. I mean you’ve only been dating since, like, forever!”

  “Yeah. I think it’s kind of cute too. Are you finally going to get a cat?”

  “Mom! How did you guess?”

  Joanne went to the counter where Crystal’s knapsack had been dumped. “People’s exhibit number one; a library book sticking out of your bag entitled ‘How To Care For Your Scottish Fold’. Item number two, again a library book entitled ‘Popular Baby Names’. I’m pretty sure you’re not pregnant and since you’ve been talking about getting a cat since, like, forever…”

  “I guess I have been talking about getting a kitten for a long time. But now, with this whole advice I wrote today about talk to your mom and see how you can contribute to the budget; I don’t think we can afford a cat. My entire paycheck would go to kitty litter and food. Plus, after a month, I’m not going to have a paycheck.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Mom, when have I made a success of anything? Seriously; besides schoolwork? School work doesn’t count because for the last six years I’ve been all grown up.”

  Joanne was quiet. She searched through the fridge for something she could serve as dessert. She snapped her fingers. “I bought fancy Italian ice-cream to go with our fancy Italian feast!”

  “Neapolitan Ice-Cream? Oh man, I was hoping for Spumoni.”

  “And I was hoping for a girl, and I got one. Grandma was hoping for a girl too; although she didn’t tell me that until you were about one and your Dad I were finally married. I never doubted we would get married, but your Grandma did. She was one nervous nelly. She was sure we would turn into hippies and run away and join a commune!”

  “What? I could’ve grown up in a commune with hippies? Mother, you have thrown away any chance I had at a cool life.”

  “You may not be cool; but you are far from a failure. Think of how many people you’ve helped over the years. What was that quote from Aesop? Something about no act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.”

  “Mom. You know what I mean. How many twenty-four year old women are living at home with their mother? Look at you. You were married with a child already in school. Me? I’m debating getting a cat.”

  “I don’t care what you say. I love you. So there.”

  Crystal rolled her eyes, but was happy her mom effusive with her praise, even though it was undeserved.

  Matt wandered into the kitchen just as the ice-cream was being scooped into the parfait glasses.

  “Can I have more strawberry?” he asked as he held up his index finger. It had one small bandage on it. “I’m injured,” he said.

  Crystal topped off his dish with a generous scoop of strawberry. “Do you want me to carry that in for you?” she asked. “I wouldn’t want you to drop it, what with your strength being so diminished by your recent injury and all.”

  Matt laughed, but then attempted to be serious. “A fine way to talk to your boss!”

  Crystal and her mom resumed their seating arrangement on the couch, while Matt sat in the recliner.

  “Do you really think anybody will read my column? I mean, read it and like it?” Crystal didn’t wait for Matt to answer but barrelled on. “What if people open the paper looking for ‘A Bit Of Advice From Betty’ and they can’t find it; so they stop buying the paper and Ben fires you because the circulation is down to nothing. I mean, there will be some people that buy the paper for the bottom of their bird cages and such, and maybe to put in their compost pile…”

  “Crystal, please don’t worry,” Matt said gently. Then he added, “And when I say don’t worry, I really mean stop talking and eat your ice-cream.”

  Crystal pulled a face. “Don’t expect any Waterford crystal from me as a wedding present. Not with that attitude!”

  “Oh that’s why you were asking Mrs. Prescott about the Waterford crystal in her china cabinet,” Joanne said. “I was talking to her after church; she had the funniest notion. For a crazy minute there she thought you were casing the joint.”

  “I was, in fact, casing the joint. Because nothing is secret in this town, I decided I would…ah forget it. I’m eating my ice-cream.”

  “While you eat your dessert; I wanted to point out a few items,” Joanne said. Unlike her daughter, who could eat anything and remained thin as a rake, Joanne had to watch what she ate. Hence her portion of dessert was small and unfortunately, gone.

  “You do contribute Crystal. Just think if I had to pay someone to do the gardening and mow the lawn and clean the gutters. Plus you do myriads of errands for me while I’m at work at the bank. All in all, you are a big help and I appreciate it.”

  Crystal blushed. “Mom, I know you’re just trying to make me feel better. I appreciate you too. But if I’m ever going to grow up; I need to pull my own weight. Mom, I need you to give me a list of all the monthly expenses; I need a goal to work towards.”

  “But you know everything is going to change next January when Matt and I get married.”

  “Sure Mom, but that gives me about seven months to get my act together.”

  Matt waved his spoon. “I know I’m not really included in this discussion; but I’
d like to add my two cents worth.”

  “Sure,” Crystal said, “Give me the whole quarter’s worth.”

  “Crystal, you have about seven months to continue getting your act together. Don’t underestimate the huge step you took today. Have you even thought about all you accomplished today?”

  A list started running through Crystal’s brain. She dropped her spoon and blushed.

  “I think Dad would be proud of me,” she said softly.

  “Quite likely,” Matt said, “But the real question is, are you proud of yourself?”

  A phrase came to Crystal’s mind; one that she had fallen back on for the last six years.

  “Well, at least I graduated.”

  Her mom shook her head. “No, you still have homework to do. I want you to go back to your cabin and make a list of at least ten things that you’ve accomplished in your life that are noteworthy.” She looked at her daughter who remained sitting on the couch. “I’m serious,” she said pointing to the door, “Go.”

  Crystal smiled and saluted her mom in mock severity. “You think that I think this that this is just another one of your attempts to help me build my self-esteem; but I know your real agenda has nothing to do with me. You and Matt just want to canoodle in front of the television!”

  Joanne frowned and started to say something, but Crystal ran out the back door.

  If Crystal had hovered around the back door for a minute she would have heard Matt ask Joanne:

  “When are we going to drop the next bombshell on her?”

  Chapter Nine

  Crystal decided to make a different list. She dug the address of the auto mechanic out of her pocket and put the slip of paper in front of her.

  “Priorities CeeCee,” she said. “Okay, number one, get a cat so all this talking to myself can be explained away by the presence of a pet.”

  She then wrote down visit auto mechanic; look for big black Mercedes-Benz; break into said vehicle and look for the registration. Track down the owner and get them to confess.

  “Easy peasy lemon squeezy!” Crystal said sarcastically. Maybe she should just phone the mechanic? She shook her head. No. She had to…how did Matt put it… ‘continue to get her act together’.

  Crystal realized she had to continue to challenge herself and not use the anonymity of the telephone to get the information she wanted. There was also a second reason she should go in person. The mechanic couldn’t very well deny the appearance of a big black car in his shop if she was staring at it.

  But what did she already know about the driver? Scott had inadvertently given some clues to Peter and Rosa. The driver was a woman and she had been taken to some sort of healthcare facility.

  Why didn’t Scott just tell them she was taken to the hospital? Under item six (b) Crystal wrote ‘not a hospital’. She then picked up the phone book and flipped to the yellow pages. Nothing was listed under healthcare facilities. A search of ‘rest homes’ only yielded names of nursing homes. Crystal doubted a person who was ‘nearly comatose’ would get critical care in a nursing home.

  Something niggled away in Crystal’s brain. She rifled through the newspapers her mom gave her yesterday morning. Ah ha! The article about the lack of repeat offenders and the new board member at the Arbutus Drug and Alcohol Treatment Center for Women.

  Crystal got up and paced. “Does this make sense? Does it track? Scott did say the driver had a bad reaction to a medication. What’s another name for medication but drug. What if the driver didn’t have a bad reaction to a drug, but was stoned? Or even sloshed? That would explain failing to see a child walking on a sidewalk in broad daylight.”

  She could feel herself getting angry again.

  Nope, she thought; not going there. Action; she needed to keep busy. She checked the phone book. There was only one such treatment center in Harrogate. It went on her to do list for a visit.

  What else? She had brought some unanswered mail home; but she wasn’t in the mood.

  “Oh right. I need to make a list of noteworthy items I’ve done.”

  Crystal surprised herself as she quickly wrote the list for her mom.

  “I went to work; was on time, made a friend in Marjorie and an enemy in Scott.” She stopped writing. “Should I put that down; is that a noteworthy accomplishment? Well, I’ve never made an enemy before so sure, I’ll keep it on the list.”

  She continued writing and talking, “Spontaneously invited a distressed couple out for coffee; confessed some of my quirky anxieties to them, stood up to Scott, wrote this week’s and next week’s column; had an open discussion with Mom about the household budget, and resolved to not only buy a cat but to do something about the crazy random bike path.”

  She snapped her fingers. “Plus, I got the name of an auto mechanic that the paper sells advertising space to and…”

  Crystal stopped writing. She didn’t want her mom to know that she was investigating the hit and run accident. She wrote out a new list, put it in an envelope and was going to deliver it but got an idea. She carefully cut a bite mark out of the corner of the envelope then scrawled across the front: saved from the dog before he finished eating my homework.

  Crystal looked around the cabin for another project; but her stomach was grumbling.

  “But I already ate,” she lamented. She went to her snack cupboard, but then stopped mid stride.

  “What if I can’t do today again? What if I get up tomorrow morning and forget to go to work? Or worse yet, I forget to get dressed and show up at work in my pyjamas and then Scott walks in and tells me to go…”

  Crystal grabbed her ears and squeezed the lobes. “Enough. Stop this! You went to work today; you didn’t die in the attempt; you made a friend; you did the job. You can do it again!”

  She started to reconsider the friend accomplishment.

  “Actually, I think I made three friends today!”

  Instead of eating a snack she started cleaning. She took apart the overhead fan over her stove and scrubbed the grease away. She vacuumed the furnace vents; then picked them up and put the vacuum hose down as far as she could. Just as she was debating polishing the spindles on her wooden kitchen chairs, she remembered her letters.

  Dear Betty,

  Sometimes I think I’m the only one in my family who isn’t a jerk. And I’m just a kid.

  Let me give you some facts so you know I’m not an egotistical maniac. My mom and dad invited their new friends over for a game of cards the other night. Not poker or anything to do with gambling, but just a game of whist that I can sit in and play with them if I want to. My older sister and brother aren’t the least bit interested; they think they’re too cool to play cards with church people.

  Anyhow, I heard Mom talking to them on the phone and she invited them to come over for seven at night. Well, I had made a spice cake for them; they’re new to our area and I had the coffee pot already to go, all I had to do was press the button. And if they didn’t want coffee, I had the kettle on for tea. I even had the mugs on the table and the playing cards.

  At six thirty, we still hadn’t eaten supper. I kept reminding her that the new family was coming over soon and we should eat. Finally Mom said make some macaroni and cheese so I quickly made some. I love that stuff Betty; don’t you? I could eat it every night.

  Then Dad turns on the TV and we all sit there and watch TV and eat macaroni and cheese. I feel like an idiot, but I got so involved in the show that I didn’t even hear the new family knock on the door, until I heard them shout ‘Hello? Anybody home?’.

  So my mom, instead of putting her plate down and going to greet them, shouts back, ‘come on in; we’re watching MacGyver.’ The new family starts apologizing and saying stuff like, ‘oh you’re still eating; we’re sorry, we thought you said to arrive at seven,’ and then, you’re not going to believe this Betty, but my mom sticks out her hand like she’s telling traffic to stop and shushes them. To make matters worse she says, ‘Wait until the commercial; we’re watching TV.’ So
the new family just sat down. Well, they sat down once they brought some chairs from the kitchen.

  My sister and brother didn’t even move or say anything and my Dad just waved. Are my family jerks or are they jerks?

  Yours truly,

  ‘I Think I’m Adopted’

  Crystal was just about to say something to her cabin, but instead grabbed a blank sheet of paper, pulled out her library book about cats and traced the image of the cat on the front cover. She added ‘Duffy MacDufferson Schmidt’ on the bottom of the paper, then taped it on her wall.

  “There,” she said, “Now I have a cat to talk to.” She licked the end of pencil and answered:

  Dear ‘I Think I’m Adopted’,

  I agree with you. Your family are jerks.

  As far as the adoption theory goes; sorry to tell you, but you can’t inherit rudeness. That’s something you learn. It starts with a me-first attitude; is fueled by a lack of empathy and is shown by the selfishness you described in your letter.

  On the other hand, you can learn kindness too. Obviously, you’ve learned it from people who have been positive examples in your life.

  I think you should spend more time with the good examples in your life and continue to shine for the poor examples.

  Otherwise known as the jerks.

  You really are different from your family and you should be proud of yourself; keep up the good work.

  Also; I love macaroni and cheese. Just like you, I could eat it every day.

  Sincerely,

  CeeCee.

  She looked up and smiled at the drawing of the cat.

  “Duffy MacDufferson; what say you? Shall we try another letter?”

  Crystal read the first line. “What do you think, Duffy, will people write to me? Or will there be a dearth of letters in the mail after the paper comes out on Wednesday? Either way, I’m having fun.”

  Dear Betty,

  My wife said you have the answer to everything and I should write and ask you. Okay, here it goes. My truck makes this funny noise. Like ‘chug chitty thunk’ but not all the time. Just when I drive down Maple Street. What do you think it is?