Make You Mine
Page 10
As I started pulling on my dress from the night before, I realized I was going to have to go home in it, which was unfortunate. I could hear Lucas getting ready behind me, and when I turned to go, he caught my arm gently, keeping me for a moment.
“Don’t go,” he said, “let me make you breakfast first.”
“No,” I said, laughing, “first, because I know you can’t cook, and second because I’m already running late and I have things that I need to do before I go to work.”
He reluctantly let me go and I slipped away, blowing him a kiss before I went through the door. As I made my walk of shame to the curb where I called a cab, I thought about the fact that I had completely forgotten about my plan to leave him heartbroken the night before. All I had been thinking about was being with him and touching him, and having him touch me.
I didn’t know how big a problem that was, and I didn’t want to think about it as I climbed into the cab.
Chapter 12
Lucas
As the door shut behind Torryn, duel emotions played a tug-of-war. I was so fucking happy. I hadn’t felt this happy or content since high school. I couldn’t believe my luck that she not only appeared to have forgiven me but that she seemed as eager as I was to rekindle our relationship.
And yet…something wasn’t quite right either. A part of me thought winning her back was too easy. The fact that she didn’t lambast me for disappearing or ask one question about what had happened was puzzling. Torryn was never one hold back her thoughts or opinions.
Plus, she didn’t stay for breakfast. Torryn loved to eat and one of the best ways to show love to her was through food (as well as sex). That one perfect summer at home, I’d filled her up with jambalaya and beignets to her heart’s content. She showed me her appreciation by rocking my world with that fantastic body of hers.
Sure, I wasn’t the best cook, but in New York, I could order out for anything. It wasn’t Louisiana food (nothing beats Louisiana food), but New York had its fair share of great cuisine. And it wasn’t just that she didn’t stay that unsettled me. It was that despite the smiles and her letting me give and take pleasure from her rockin’ body, she didn’t seem to be completely present. Like she had her guard up.
I shook my head reminding myself that if someone pulled a number on me as I did with her, I’d be guarded too. Perhaps I could look at it another way; she wanted to keep her distance but couldn’t help herself. The pull between us was that strong.
Yes, that had to be it.
Feeling a bit steadier, I called Oliver to let him know that despite my efforts to stick to his suffocating business-hours rules, I planned to visit my mother before heading to work this morning. I was sure he’d be okay with it because he knew better than anyone the importance of parents and family.
“So, how’d it go last night?” he asked when he picked up the phone.
I grinned like a loon as the image of Torryn’s luscious body ignited my brain. Not wanting to sound like a love-sick moron, I pulled my thoughts back in order. “Not bad.”
“You hound dog.”
I laughed that he guessed right.
“But you need to be careful, man. Okay?”
“Careful? About what?” Did he know something I didn’t?
“Well, your reunion is barely two days old after six years apart. And you two work together now.”
“What the hell, Oliver? Yesterday you were telling me to go for it.” I ran my fingers through my hair as I dropped to sit on my couch.
“I know, and I want you to go for it. I want you to be happy. I think I’ve seen you smile more in the last two days than I ever saw you smile since I’ve known you. I just think it could be a mistake to jump back in like nothing has changed. You two aren’t eighteen anymore. You’re not the same people. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
I inhaled deeply, hoping to keep that niggle of worry that plagued me when she hurried out this morning away. “It’ll be fine.”
“Just looking out for you, buddy.”
“I appreciate it.” Wanting to move off the subject, I added. “Listen, I’m planning to visit my mother this morning, so I’ll be in a little late.”
“Yes, of course. How’s she doing?”
My heart stumbled in my chest as the fear of losing her swamped me. “I don’t know. Each time I see her, she seems worse.”
“Listen, if you need to take time off—”
“No.” I shook my head. “I need the work to distract me. And we’ve got the Nelson project coming up.”
“It’s your call, you know that.”
“Thanks, man.” I was reminded at what a tremendous friend and boss Oliver was. “I owe you.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Lucas.”
I felt like I did, but I didn’t say any more.
Once I got off the phone, I headed to the shower. Yesterday, I’d spent shower time, as I often did, fantasizing about Torryn. This morning, I’d had the real thing in my bed. And yet, just picturing her sexy body and the way it felt to be inside her, had my body heating up. I laughed at my libido. It seemed as if it would never have enough of her.
I looked down where my dick was already pointing up at me. I stroked my hand along the length, wondering if she noticed any changes in me as I had in her. One change I had noticed was that she was more willing to let me know what she wanted and needed in bed. Taking her from behind was a fantasy come true. I wondered if she’d let me fulfill other fantasies? Would she ride me, letting me watch those magnificent breast bounce as she did? Would she go down on me?
The thought of her mouth around my dick sent an electric shock down my spine. Fuck yeah. I closed my eyes, letting the image of her luscious lips wrapped around my cock fill my brain as my hand did the work. It didn’t take long and with a groan, I came hard. If just the image of her could be that good, imagine what the real thing would be.
Before my dick could get any ideas about jerking off more, I rinsed and exited the shower. I dressed in my dark suit but left my tie loose. I’d tighten that noose when I went to work.
Once dressed, I called for a car and had it take me to the hospital.
My mother didn’t look worse than yesterday, but she didn’t look better either. Her frail, gaunt body looked like it was withering away before my eyes. But her eyes retained their life. I admired that about her. Despite so much hardship, much of it caused by my father, she was still positive about life and living it. She was not going to go gently into that good night. No, she was going live, sucking the nectar out of it until she couldn’t anymore.
Her eyes brightened at the sight of me. “You’re here early today.”
I nodded as I leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Do you have plans I’m interrupting?”
She laughed. “Let’s see what I have on my schedule. Lay in bed until ten. Get poked and prodded from ten thirty to noon. Lay in bed—No, I think I can pencil you in.”
I smiled, even though it was hard to joke about her illness. I pulled the chair near the bed and sat next to her. “If dad had come back and had a good reason for leaving, would you have forgiven him?”
Her brows lifted in surprise and then pinched together in question. “What reason is a good reason?”
I kicked myself for asking the question. I’m not sure why I had, except that maybe I was still bothered by Torryn’s behavior.
My mother tilted her head to the side. “You mean your reason?”
I nodded.
“Does that mean things didn’t go well with Torryn?” She reached out and took my hand.
“Actually, they went well. Really well.”
“Oh.” Understanding crossed my mother’s face. “Well, that was fast.”
“Too fast?” I asked echoing Oliver’s concerns.
“I don’t know. What’s bothering you about it?”
I explained to her how Torryn didn’t seem to have any qualms or questions about what happened to me. I didn’t go into detail about the sex but di
d let her know that Torryn had stayed the night.
“Do you think she went out and slept with you for the job?”
The thought revolted me. “God, I hope not. Besides, she already has it, I don’t know what perks that could get her.” Even as I spoke, I shook my head. “No, Torryn might use her feminine assets to distract men, but she’s not going to sleep with them for favors.” I was certain that Torryn had used those assets on me which is why I’d taken the chance to ask her out. I’d hoped it was a signal that she didn’t hate me as much as I was afraid she did.
“But you said she wasn’t acting the same. That the old Torryn would have given you a piece of her mind for disappearing, which suggests you didn’t tell her.”
I shook my head. “It never was the right time.”
My mother studied me and then sighed. “I know I wasn’t around when you were in high school—”
“That’s not your fault.”
“I know, but what I was going to say was that I don’t have to have known you at eighteen to know that you’re different now at twenty-four. People grow up. They change.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that maybe she’s changed. Maybe she would be nice to you to secure her job.”
“No, she wouldn’t do that. Again, she already had the job.”
“Could she have an ulterior motive?”
“Like what?” I cringed at the idea that Torryn wasn’t being sincere even if somewhere deep in my psyche it was a very real worry.
My mother shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“So, you think I’m going too fast too? Even though you pushed me to reach out to her.” What was it with Oliver and now my mother? Why were they changing their tune about pursuing Torryn?
She pursed her lips like Torryn’s mother used to do when she didn’t like something Torryn had said.
“There’s no reason to push something that’s already moving in that direction. I did encourage you because I want you to be happy. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
“But…” I prodded her to finish her thought. I wondered if her opinion of love more closely matched my father’s after all. He’d never remarried, although that didn’t mean he didn’t have his share of women. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if I had a brood of half-siblings running around the parish the way that man used women. But he never loved them.
I suppose he never loved my mother either. He’d told me it was because she left him, but I knew now that was a lie. At least, she hadn’t run off. I could imagine he’d view it as abandonment if she didn’t support his wants and needs, all of which seemed to involve booze and sex.
“No buts. If you love this woman and want her in your life, I want that for you too. She’d be a fool not to take you back as you’re a smart, confident man with so much love to give. To do that, you need to be upfront about what happened and how you feel. Most relationships fail because people don’t communicate.”
“So, you believe in love?”
She smiled and her eyes twinkled. “Oh yes. There’s nothing as wonderful as true love. Except maybe the love a mother has for her child.”
My heart warmed, and gratitude filled my chest. How lucky was I to have a second chance with my mother? And if I played my cards right, I’d have a second chance with Torryn too.
“I’d like to meet her if you and she would be comfortable with that.”
“I’d love that, mom.” I had that duel of emotions going again. There was euphoria at the idea of that the precious woman of my past would meet and get to know the precious woman of my present. The idea of it made it seem like it would somehow complete my life. Put together the bits and pieces that had for so long been dangling without an anchor.
But there was also that fear that all may not be what it seemed. It looked like I was going to lose one of the women I loved so damn much. What if I got Torryn back only to lose her too? How could a man survive losing the two women who were as essential to him as air?
I shook my head of the nagging dread, and instead focused on the positive. Right now, both these women were in the same city and both involved in my life. Why worry about what I could lose when I had so much in life right now?
I left my mom after catching up on the local hospital gossip. Turned out I wasn’t the only one who found her sage advice helpful.
I headed back to work, having the car drop me off at my regular coffee house just a half a block from the office. I ordered my usual and an Americano for Torryn. I wondered why she’d made the change in her preferred morning beverage. I hoped it wasn’t a dietary change meant to lose weight. I didn’t get why women were maddeningly preoccupied with their weight, and getting so skinny they didn’t look like women anymore. Didn’t they know men like curves?
In high school, I would have come out and asked Torryn about it, but today, I wasn’t sure I should, and again, that kernel of worry agitated me. By the time I entered the elevator in the building though, I had pushed it aside. I trusted Torryn completely in high school and there was no reason not to trust her now.
Chapter 13
Torryn
It was the right thing to do to avoid breakfast with Lucas, although admittedly, I was hungry. And not just for food. He’d awoken my sexuality as a teenager, and apparently, reawakened what had gone dormant. I could have stayed in his bed all day to fulfill every fantasy I’d had about him, including some new ones that had popped up over the course of the night.
But staying for breakfast would have made the whole thing seem way too domestic. I couldn’t have that. Not with plan break-Lucas’-heart-into-a-million-pieces to carry out. The unease I felt as I took the walk of shame out of his building, into the cab (I was employed now so could splurge), and back into my apartment was probably because I’d let myself get caught up in the old memories of my time with Lucas. There was no way it was guilt over my plan. Although, it sure felt like guilt. Dammit.
I shook off the unease and focused on why I came to New York. Focus and follow-through were my superpowers, and I used them to get myself back on track as I showered, pulled my thick dark hair back into a messy twist, dressed in my favorite silk blouse and skirt, and then headed to the office for my second day at work.
As I stepped off the elevator, my brain was laser-focused on why I was here: my career. I had the ideal job, in the ideal company, in the ideal city. It was time to push Lucas, and even my vendetta, out of my mind, and live the dream I was in the midst of realizing.
With my head up and attention on my office, I walked past the three Stoogettes ready to take on the day. Unfortunately, Stoogette number one had her own ideas. When she stepped out in front of me, I stopped and quirked a brow. So far their intimidation efforts hadn’t paid off. I wondered when they’d step up their game and what it would be. If they touched my lipstick, they’d be sorry. I didn’t have to tell Lucas or Oliver to get back at catty women. I had a toolbag of ideas, and if I couldn’t think of one, a call to Charlie would yield some good ones.
“We’ve noticed how you look at Lucas.” Her lips pursed in that way judgemental bitches do.
I waited for a beat. “Have you noticed how he looks at me too?”
A snicker came from somewhere other than where the other two Stoogettes sat making me wonder who else was here.
Heat flared in Stoogette one’s eyes. “Lucas is off limits.”
I frowned. “Does he know you call him by his first name? He’s your boss, surely you should be referring to him as Mr. Simmons.” I knew he’d told me to call him Lucas, but that could because we knew each other or were colleagues. It was one of the many differences between north and south. In the south, at least where I was from, surnames were always used unless specifically told it was okay to use the first name. Especially in the workplace. I noticed it was different in New York, where people automatically called others by their first name, but I didn’t think that extended to bosses. Maybe I was wrong.
“He prefers Lucas. And we al
l agreed that he’s off limits.”
“When did you all agree to that?” I worked to not roll my eyes, but it was really hard.
“When he first came on with Mr. Long, two years ago.”
“I see.” I realized that I hadn’t had my coffee that morning. I guess I’d been too revved on sex-dorphins to notice until now. But the irritation I felt now was exacerbated by low caffeine levels. “Well, two years ago I was helping Corbin Company acquire Taskin-Schwartz, so I didn’t get that memo.” They’d have had to live under a rock to not know about the two media and communications companies’ merger.
“You think you’re so smart.”
I leaned forward and was rewarded by the surprise in her eyes as she stepped back.
“I know I’m smart.” I let that sink in for a minute and rethought my approach. While I wasn’t afraid of them, I also didn’t want any hassle. So, I smiled as I straightened. “I’m sorry, I haven’t had my coffee yet this morning, so I’m a little surly. But, I don’t know why you’d make such a pact.” I looked over at the other ladies, wondering if Lucas would have responded to any of them if they’d made advances. The flash of anger and the desire rip their hair out at the idea surprised me. I tamped it down. “It seems to me women should go after what they want. The only reason I can think of that you’d all agree to that is that you’re afraid of rejection.”
Stoogette One glanced at her cohorts and then back at me. “You don’t think we could attract him?”
I shrugged like I didn’t care, which was hard because I discovered I did care. Very much. Too much. “I don’t know.”
“I bet any one of us could before you.”
I held back the snicker and comment of “too late.” Instead, I said, “Go for it.” As the words came out, my brain said, “but you’ll be sorry.” I wondered if that was my voice or Charlies’.