by Katy Kaylee
The woman’s words hit me in the gut. What if my mother was sick? I didn’t want to end up like Lucas, feeling guilty at missing so much time and worrying that the time together was nearly over.
I didn’t want to ask Oliver for time off especially since Lucas had kept me away from work so much during this first week. But I had to go to visit my parents on my mother’s big weekend.
I went straight to Oliver’s office to ask for the next day off. It was Friday, so it was only one day, and I could take my work with me on the plane. If I returned on Sunday night, all I’d miss was Friday.
“We are slow on Fridays.” There was a hesitation in his voice that worried me.
“I know I have been out a lot. I was with Lucas and his mother and it made me realize how important my family is. It’s my mother’s big birthday celebration and I’d like to go and let her know how much I love her.”
Oliver smiled. “Family is important. I wish I’d had more time with my father.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize—”
Oliver waved my comment away. “If you complete any work you need on the plane, I’m okay with that. However, starting next week—”
“Say no more. I’ll be here so much you’ll think I’ve moved in.”
Oliver laughed. “Well, don’t overdo it.”
I thanked him again and went to my office. I ignored the Stoogettes as I passed them. I unlocked my door and headed straight to my desk to book a flight for tomorrow afternoon to Louisiana. With those details settled, I buried myself in my work.
At the end of the day, I began to pack up the work I planned to take on my trip. I realized then that I hadn’t told Lucas of my plans. I left my work on my desk as I went to his office to talk with him.
“Oh hey.” His smile at seeing me warmed my heart.
A part of me wanted to rush to him, shutting and locking his door, and have my way with him on his desk. Unfortunately, there wasn’t time for that. “I wanted to let you that I’m heading down to visit my parents this weekend.”
His smile dropped. “Now?”
“Tomorrow. It’s my mom’s birthday and my father is throwing her this big bash. Oliver okayed me to have the day off.”
I didn’t notice the darkness in Lucas’ eyes at first. But it came through in his tone. “You’re leaving now? What about my mother’s test? What about me?”
I stared at him a moment, confused and concerned at his anger. I should have told him about the donor tests I’d be doing the next morning, but I hesitated. What if it turned out I wasn’t a good match after all? I’d have gotten his and his mother’s hopes up. Looking at him now, and remembering the fears he’d shared the night before, I decided to wait until I knew for sure I’d be able to donate to his mother. Instead, I tried to appeal to his sense of family.
“Lucas, I thought you’d understand. Being with you and your mom has shown me that I need to do better at appreciating and spending time with my parents.”
He huffed out a breath. “Except your mom isn’t dying, is she?”
I wondered if his anger was really at me or something else. “What’s going on Lucas?”
“I’m not a match.”
“Oh.” My heart went out to him and I rethought my plan to hold off on telling him that I was a match. “I’m sorry.”
“Not sorry enough to stay though?”
“Lucas, you’re not being fair.”
He slammed his hand onto his desk. “I’m tired of being fair, Torryn. What has fairness ever done for me anyway? I was stolen from my mother by a bastard of a father. Forced to leave you to go to war. When does something get to go right for me in my life, huh?”
Again, my heart squeezed at how much loss he’d had to endure. “I’m not leaving forever. It’s just the weekend. Do you want—” I’d nearly invited him to come, but then remembered his mother was ill. He wouldn’t want to leave her and my suggesting it would likely make things worse.
“What I want is for you to stay. I don’t think it’s that much to ask.”
He wasn’t being bossy, but I still felt his words like a demand. I could put up with his fears and sorrow, but I didn’t work hard to have an independent life to have a man make demands. Especially a man who abandoned me for six years. Sure, he had a reason, but that didn’t change the fact that he’d been gone. He didn’t have any right to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do, or expect me to bow to his needs.
I took a breath to shore up my strength. “I’ll be back Sunday night.” I waited for his response, but he simply stared at me. “Lucas.” I moved toward him, but he stepped away from me.
“Have a good trip.” With those words, he walked around me and out of his office. It felt like he was walking out of my life. Anger erupted and I wanted to run after him and curse him for abandoning me again.
As he walked by my office, something caught his eye. He stopped for a moment but then continued on. Distracted by his actions, I stopped at my office and saw Stoogette number one by my desk.
“Rearranging again?” I stood in the doorway with my hands on my hips. “Or maybe you need more paper.”
She shrugged. “Just dropping off some work Mr. Long wanted to be sure you had.”
I looked at my desk but didn’t see any papers except for the work I’d already put there. “Are they invisible?”
“Oh, I must have forgotten them.”
I stepped outside the door to keep from blocking it. “Get out.”
Stoogette number one smirked, but nodded and left my office. I really needed to do something about them, or at least her. How was it they were allowed to harass people at work? All because they loved Lucas? Well, they could have him.
I grabbed my briefcase, locked the office door, and headed out. I considered going to Lucas’ or maybe the hospital to try and explain again, but instead, I chose to take care of myself. I didn’t know what the testing would involve the next morning, so I wanted to be sure I was rested and ready. I went home and made dinner. I opted to not have any wine and instead fill up on water.
I went over some paperwork for my job and then went to bed early. I had a long day coming on Friday. By this time tomorrow, I’d be back home in Louisiana with my family. Maybe I’d have time to see Charlie too, although I wondered if I should tell her what was going on with Lucas. She’d likely chastise me for letting him back in my life and send one of her thuggish friends after him.
As I climbed under the sheets, my phone rang. The caller ID said it was Lucas. I reached for the phone and was about to answer, but then I pushed the “Decline” option. He could have been calling to apologize, but then again, he could have been calling to guilt trip me into staying. I didn’t want anything to get in the way of my trip, so instead of finding out what he wanted, I ignored the call.
I settled into my sheets and tried to sleep, which was hard because the scent of him was all around from his staying the night before. I considered changing the sheets and resented him for making me want him physically even when I was angry at him for hurting me yet again.
I didn’t know if we were over or just having a tiff. If things weren’t over, I’d have to do better at protecting myself. I couldn’t subjugate my hopes, dreams, and plans to him or anyone. I’d be there to support him, but I wasn’t going to make my world revolve around him. If that was what he thought would happen, he had another thing coming.
Chapter 24
Lucas
There was a part of me that knew I was being unreasonable with Torryn. But her leaving was like a punch to the gut. Right when I needed her most, she was taking off for a birthday party? My mother was ill, and I couldn’t save her. I suppose Torryn couldn’t either because she didn’t say anything about the results of her test.
All sorts of vile words had rattled in my brain, and to keep from uttering them, I’d walked out. I noticed one the administrative assistants in her office when I walked by. She looked up at me with a startled expression that made me wonder why she was
there. But then I remembered I didn’t care and kept on walking.
The fact that Torryn didn’t follow me made me wonder if I’d done irreparable damage to our relationship. Except why did I want a relationship with a woman who’d leave right when I need her? Why did she bother to get tested if she wasn’t going to stick around to help?
I avoided everyone as I left the office. I didn’t bother ordering a car and instead hailed a taxi to take me to visit my mother. I was afraid at what I’d find when I got there. Did she know I wasn’t a match? Was she going to lose hope?
When I arrived, I headed straight to her room. I mustered a smile in an attempt to be strong. “Hey, mom.”
Her smile was weak, but her eyes were shining. “Lucas.” She looked beyond me. “Torryn’s not with you.”
I bit back the curse that threatened. “No.”
My mother quirked a brow. “A lover’s tiff so soon in the relationship.”
“It’s more than a tiff.” At least I thought it was. A part of me was so hurt and angry at Torryn, I didn’t want to give her another thought. Another part of me was saying I was being a selfish asshole, and that she was the best thing that’s happened to me since finding my mother.
“Oh?” my mother patted her hand on the side of the bed. “Come tell your mother about it.”
I stood by her bed and took her hand as I told her about Torryn’s plans to leave.
“Is she coming back?” My mother’s expression was confused.
“She says it’s for the weekend. It’s her mother’s birthday.”
“I don’t understand why you’re mad, Lucas. It sounds like she’s going to visit her family for an important event. That doesn’t seem unreasonable to me.”
Saying it like that did make me seem unreasonable. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“She was tested to help you, what if she’s a match and she’s gone? Or—” I couldn’t say the words.
“Or what?”
I inhaled a deep breath. “What if she’s not a match …”
My mother’s eyes turned soft. “I’m going to die, Lucas.”
“Don’t say that.” I shook my head and stepped away from her. God, I’d spent my whole life looking to belong to someone, to love and be loved. I had it with Torryn, and then I’d been forced to leave. Now I had it with my mother, but she was dying. My fears were coming true.
“If not soon, then at some point. We all do. All we can do is savor the time we have with those that we love. I’m sure that’s what Torryn is doing. She’s honoring her mother, just like you honor me.”
Jesus, I was unreasonable. But the anger and hurt still burned deep in my gut.
The door to my mother’s room opened and her doctor walked in. “Ah, the dutiful son. I have some news.”
“News?” All thoughts of Torryn left my brain as I focused on what he was going to say about my mom’s condition.
“We have a match. We still need to do some tests to ensure compatibility and that there aren’t any other issues that would impact your ability to accept the donation, but if that goes well, we’ll be able to do the procedure at the end of next week.”
“Next week? That long?” I wasn’t sure my mother had that long.
“The procedure we’ll be doing requires the donor to have five days of injections that release the cells from the marrow into the bloodstream. On the fifth day, we draw the blood, filter out the cells, and then give it to you.”
My mother took my hand and squeezed. “That sounds easy and straightforward.”
The doctor nodded. “It’s less invasive than surgically removing the marrow.”
“Is it still effective?” I wanted whatever treatment would guarantee my mother’s survival.
“Very. Of course, there’s always a risk and it does happen sometimes that a body rejects a donation. That’s why we have to do more tests to be sure the match is the best it can be.”
“That’s good news, isn’t it, Lucas?”
I nodded, wanting to be happy, but not quite able to get there. Was it because the doctor was cautious in his optimism or that Torryn wasn’t here to share the news with? “Who is the donor?”
“I’m sorry, but we’re not able to reveal the names of donors. Rest assured that the tests will be done tomorrow morning, and if those go well, the injections will start Monday, and the procedure for you will be next Friday.”
That news verified that Torryn wasn’t the donor. She was going to Louisiana tomorrow. If she’d been a match, would she have stayed? My mind said yes. Torryn was a good person. But something inside me doubted.
My mother smiled at me, and for the first time that day, my heart felt a little lighter. She was hopeful. I had to grab onto that.
The doctor gave my mother some more information about how things would go over the next week, and what to expect and then left.
“You should get some rest.” I kissed her on the head. “I’ll be back tomorrow.” When I left, I considered going to Torryn’s place. The part of me that needed her wanted to tell her about the match. But the part of me that was angry that she’d leave town at such a critical time festered in my gut. I couldn’t trust myself not to say something that would totally blow this relationship up, assuming we still had a relationship. While I’d walked out of the office, she hadn’t followed me. She hadn’t called. Perhaps there was no relationship anymore.
Instead of going to her place, I went home, did a little work that I’d fallen behind on during the week, and then went to bed. Luckily, I didn’t have any dreams.
The next day, I worked with the ultimate focus to keep me from thinking of Torryn. It worked, mostly. Twice I found myself wandering by her office before I remembered she wasn’t in.
Around lunchtime, Oliver checked in with me. I’d been completely honest and upfront with him about Torryn up until now. Today I wasn’t in the mood to talk about her. Instead, I told him about the potential match for my mother’s treatment.
“That’s wonderful, Lucas. Really wonderful.” Oliver sat in one of the guest chairs in front of my desk.
“Yes.” I smiled. “If it goes well, she and I will have more time.”
“Do she and Torryn get along?”
I tried to hide my scowl at the mention of Torryn’s name, but the quirk of his brow suggested I didn’t succeed.
“They don’t get along?”
I shook my head. “No, they get along great.”
“Then why the face?”
I sighed. “Torryn and I had a little fight.”
“About what?”
“It’s not important.”
“I don’t believe you.” Oliver stood. “But I’ll respect your privacy. Send your mother my best wishes, will you?”
I nodded. “I will. Thank you.”
I worked for another couple of hours, checking my phone every so often to see if Torryn had called or texted. Nothing. Then again, perhaps the ball was in my court and she was waiting for me to contact her. Instead, I decided to visit my mom and see if there was an update on the anonymous donor.
When I entered the room, the doctor was already talking to her.
“Good news Lucas.” My mother still looked pale and weak, but her eyes danced with life.
“Oh?”
“The donor checked out. Everything looks good and by next Friday I should be able to have the procedure.”
“That’s great.” I gave my mother a hug, holding her a little bit tighter as if that might help seal the deal. Then I turned to the doctor. “So, everything went okay?”
“Yes. The donor stopped in this morning and we ran all the tests. They’ve all come back indicating it’s a good match. The injections will start Monday, and Friday we’ll be able to withdraw the blood cells and transplant them to your mother.”
“And that will be it?” I clutched my mother’s hand.
“Well, it can take time to recover and to make sure that the cells are doing what they’re supposed to be
doing.”
“How much time?” I asked.
“Months. Often it’s a year before we can be completely sure that the treatment worked.”
“A year!” What the hell?
“She won’t need to be here for that. She’ll be able to leave and live a fairly normal life, but we’ll want to check on her for a time to make sure everything is working as it should.”
“As much as I like the staff here, it will be nice to be home.”
“You can stay with me, mom. I’ll hire someone to help take care of you.”
“Pah!” she waved a hand at me. “You heard the doctor, I’ll be able to live a normal life once I recover.”
I stared at her for a moment but decided not to press the issue at that time.
“I’ll leave you two to your visit.” The doctor left and I dragged the chair next to my mom’s bed.
“Don’t get too comfortable,” she said as I sat.
“Why not? Do you need something?” I stood up again.
“I need you to go fix things with Torryn.”
“That can wait.”
“No, it can’t Lucas. The longer you let this rift between you two go, the harder it will be to repair.”
“I’m not leaving your side while you’re here.”
“You do it every day to go to work.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s different. To fix things with Torryn now, I’d have to go to Louisiana. Remember, she’s visiting her family.”
“I’m sick, not senile. I remember where she is. And you have to go. Now.”
“Mom.”
“Lucas. Do you know what the only thing I want in the world for you?”
I knew what she was asking, but I wasn’t going to make it easy. I just stared at her.
“I want you to be happy. Torryn makes you happy.”
“She’ll be back at the end of the weekend. I’ll see her then.”
My mother shook her head dramatically. “No, no, no. You have to go now. Make a grand gesture.”
“This isn’t a movie, mom. I’m not going to show up, apologize, and then we’ll live happily ever after.”
