His legs brought him closer to me, and I backed up, leaning my ass against my nightstand. I did not want him any closer, lest my hormones take over and make me do something I’d regret tomorrow.
I’d been all over the place lately, wanting to throw myself at a high Sawyer, letting Travis kiss me and corner me against the wall like that…and Declan? Oh, boy. Where Declan was concerned, I was perhaps the most lost. Him and Will, the two brothers who seemed the nicest out of the bunch. If anyone deserved better, it was them.
“Ash,” he whispered my name softly, his eyes so dark the irises blended in with the pupils, “nothing you could ever do or say would make me look at you differently. You were here when I needed you, even when I pushed you away, and now it’s my turn to be here for you. To fight for you and show you that I mean every single word I say.”
God, what did I ever do to deserve someone like Declan in my life? He was too good, too pure. He might have an anger streak, but didn’t we all when our buttons were pushed?
“And I do,” he went on, stepping closer yet again. Just two feet between us, and yet he was both too far and too close. “I do mean every word of it. You know that, don’t you? I don’t say things I don’t mean.” The two feet between us became one as he added, “I need you more than I’ve ever needed anyone in my life.”
My eyelids fluttered shut, unable to look at him while he was saying such serious, solemn words to me. He needed me more than he’d ever needed anyone before? What about Sabrina? What made me so special?
I felt Declan touching my cheek, his fingers weaving through my hair.
No, no, no. This was bad. This couldn’t happen.
“Let me show you just how much I need you,” Declan’s husky voice whispered into my ear, and I felt a shiver course down my spine, causing me to lean forward, right into his chest. His body heat flooded me, and I knew right then it was too late. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen; I was too weak to stop it.
His lips pressed against my cheek, and a fluttery sigh left me. I still leaned on my nightstand, and I refused to open my eyes, knowing the moment I did, this would be more real. Stupid, but like I mentioned before, me and logic weren’t really seeing eye-to-eye right now.
Declan moved his mouth to my collar bone, nipping and licking, making me go crazy in the best way. “If you want me to stop, just tell me, otherwise…” He let his voice trail off, leaving me to imagine just what he intended to do to me.
Hoist me over his shoulder, throw me onto his bed and have his way with me? Tug off all of my clothes right here and make me regret ever trying to push him away? There was only so much a girl like me could take, and lately I’d been constantly at my breaking point, ready for the other shoe to drop. Yep, me being hit by a car and Will getting stabbed was only the first shoe. The second was bound to fall sometime soon.
As his mouth got to know the crook of my neck well, his hands found their way to my hips, digging under my shirt. His fingers gripped my hipbones with a strength I couldn’t deny, nor did I want to.
Everyone had moments of weakness. I was strong when I’d stumbled upon Sawyer, but now? Now I wanted to be weak, even if it was just for a little bit. A momentary lapse that would never again repeat.
I moaned when his hands crept up my stomach, my gut clenching and my heart speeding up when his fingers snaked beneath my bra and cupped my breasts. With his lips on my neck and his hands on my chest, I was in heaven. Sensual, blissful heaven, and I never wanted to leave. My body had ached to be touched like this ever since stepping foot on Hillcrest’s campus.
There would be no self-love tonight.
Declan’s mouth moved to the other side of my neck, giving an equal amount of love to it as he had the first. His tongue ran up my throat, his breath hot on my skin. I lost myself in the work of his hands, though. The way he touched me, caressed the sensitive skin of my breasts and tweaked my nipples, was, well, amazing. No girl would be able to push him away when he touched them like this.
And everything he’d said? How could I not swoon like a prepubescent tween watching her first high school rom-com?
His mouth left my neck, his hands moving down. I was about to ask what he planned on doing to me, but I felt him reach for the button on my shorts. The button, then the zipper, then…he yanked both my shorts and my underwear down to my shoes as he got to his knees.
Oh, fuck. That’s what he was going to do? Well…I sure as hell wasn’t going to stop him now. I didn’t think I’d had head in…forever, honestly.
Declan’s breath on the center of my pleasure made my thighs quiver. Or maybe they quivered before I felt his breath on me down there. Quivered with the most urgent anticipation known to man—or, in this case, woman. He ran his hands up my legs, forcing my thighs to spread a bit. I grabbed the nightstand behind me, using it to keep myself up.
This was a mistake. A bad, bad mistake. But right now, I didn’t care one bit. Bring it on.
His tongue shot out, licking me along my crevices. The sudden appearance of his tongue in a spot that made me want to buck my hips caused me to cry out. Pleasure swept through me when he started working on me, paying special attention to the little nub at my apex, his hands holding onto my thighs.
My core yearned for more, desperately needing to be filled up. The moment Declan had started kissing my neck, I knew I was aching for him, slick with wetness. And his tongue and mouth practically doing the damn alphabet down there? Only making me wetter, hornier, burning with a need that wouldn’t be filled with just his mouth.
Declan’s tongue worked with a passion I never knew he was capable of—and the best part? He was good. He was so good at giving head that I nearly fell when I felt my first orgasm building. My core grew slicker with need, and I didn’t fight it. I let the pleasure take control, my grip on the nightstand’s edge clenching as I cried out. Every muscle tingled, and I panted for a breath Declan was clearly not willing to let me have.
Because he kept going.
He didn’t stop, even though he had to have known he’d helped me reach my climax once.
But, you know what? I agreed. One wasn’t nearly enough, not after the week I had.
The state of my sore body was the last thing on my mind. My gut burned as I inched toward another orgasm. This one I hedged off, focusing on the feeling of his tongue devouring me, demolishing whatever pathetic willpower I thought I had. Declan had me right where he wanted me, and I was a slave to that mouth and that blasted tongue.
Oh, fuck. That tongue. That tongue could be permanently attached to me down there, and it still wouldn’t be enough.
I was about to come again, but I stopped him by moving a hand to his head and tugging him back. A glutton for punishment, it was true. I loved the pre-orgasm high that made my blood pump a bit faster and harder. I pushed Declan back, laying him down on the floor. I was able to kick off my shorts and my underwear, moving on top of him. I kissed him, wanting to tell him that this didn’t mean anything—but of course it did.
This meant more than I could ever say, and maybe that’s why I didn’t want this to be just about me.
His lips were slick from his time between my legs, but I didn’t care. It made everything a bit dirtier, more taboo. I was fine with tasting myself if I tasted myself right off his lips.
My mouth left his as I fumbled with his pants. “Wait,” Declan said. “We don’t have to—”
Oh, did the boy think we were going to have sex? No. I doubted he had a stash of condoms in the room, anyway. Or maybe he did after seeing that I was his roommate. Either way, no sex.
“Shh,” I murmured, tugging down his pants and then his boxers, just as he did to me. His erect length sprang free, the dick that I had felt hard against me more than once. I grabbed it and ran a hand down its shaft, causing Declan to throw his head back on the carpet and groan. I reached between my legs, finding that I was more than wet enough for what I wanted to do.
I moved back on him, straddling his cock, pus
hing it up. I sat my hungry core at the base of his dick, grinding along it as I moved my hips. Declan’s breathing had long since turned ragged, as had mine. I closed my eyes again, letting my body do the work, letting the inner animal take over.
I had one, and though she wasn’t murderous, she was quite the beast.
Declan muttered something incomprehensible, and I knew that meant he felt good, too. I rocked along his length, grinding against his hard cock, using him to please us both. The pressure was building inside of me yet again, and this time I didn’t stop myself from coming. No hedging. This time I came like a wild animal, rabid and hungry, the pleasure only causing me to jerk my hips along his cock. My pussy ached with a need to feel it inside of me, but I couldn’t. I might be wild, but I wasn’t that wild.
He wasn’t too far behind me. Declan’s hands found my hips, and he took the lead, forcing my body along his cock at the speed he liked. Over and over until he came, spewing his milky white cum all over his shirt. Four rapid squirts as he groaned a loud moan, his fingers tightening on my sides.
Declan was sluggish in releasing me, and I practically fell off him, still panting, still feeling that post-orgasm high. If I could just lay here for a little while, that’d be great. My lungs burned, and I set an arm against my forehead, feeling my hot, sweaty skin.
“Wow,” Declan murmured, hardly moving beside me. “That was…I didn’t expect you to do that.” He turned his head toward me, dark eyes clouded over with lust. “I wanted to please you.”
“And you did,” I said, hating how feminine my voice sounded. I coughed, trying to regain a normal tone, “You were very good, thank you.” Thanking him after him giving me head—that was a new one.
“Uh, you’re welcome?” Declan didn’t sound too sure, which made me hate myself all the more. He made no moves to pull up his boxers or his pants, even though he was losing his erection as the seconds wore on. “Should I thank you now?” He grinned.
I wanted to smack him. Smack him and then myself, but I didn’t. I simply said, “No need. First time is free.”
He rolled onto his side, facing me. “Ash, I—”
Fuck. Here it was. The end of his declaration, the I love you part, the part where he claimed me for his own like I was a trophy to be had. This, what we did—it felt nice, but that didn’t mean I was with him. It didn’t mean I chose him, and sure as shit didn’t mean that Ray wasn’t still out there on the prowl.
Just as I was about to cut in and tell him don’t, my phone went off. I, for one, could not have been more thankful. Kelsey calling, of course. I answered it, ignoring the miffed look he wore, “Hey, girl. What’s up? Don’t tell me the rust bucket broke down. You know I don’t have a car to come get you.”
Kelsey laughed. “No, no. She’s still trucking. I wanted to see if you want me to pick up some dinner on the way, or if you wanted to go out. Tomorrow night is reserved for parties.” Parties, of course.
I threw a look over my shoulder at Declan. “We can go out,” I said. “Text me when you’re here and I’ll come down to the turnaround.” Talking to my best friend right after having two orgasms and making my roommate cum like a porn star? A bit weird, but she didn’t need to know that…she also didn’t need to know I was talking to her with no pants or panties on, either.
There were some lines you didn’t cross with your best friends.
I hung up and tossed a sheepish look at Declan. He was in the process of pulling up his pants, but he met my stare with his own. His cheeks were flushed after what we did, and he heaved a sigh as he zipped and buttoned his jeans. He was remarkably noble in the way that he refused to drop his gaze lower than my chin. No peeks of my naked ass, even though it was out in the open for any and all to see right now.
“Fine,” he said. “I’m visiting Will, anyway. But don’t go anywhere without her—”
“Oh, don’t you know? When we go out to eat, we sit at separate tables and shout at each other across the restaurant,” I spoke dryly. I got my clothes on, hyper-aware of the fact that Declan and I had just crossed one of the boundaries I’d sworn we’d never cross.
Friends didn’t do that with each other. Friends didn’t give head and hump each other like sex-crazed rabbits. Friends didn’t enjoy seeing each other naked. Oh, yeah. We’d definitely crossed the line of no return now, no denying that. We were each guilty of the crime, neither of us innocent. Just two hormonal college students whose lives were falling apart. Him and his brother, and me and Ray.
We were awkwardly quiet until Declan got a call from his dad, and then after Declan left, I was awkwardly quiet alone. I didn’t know what the hell I’d do by myself as I waited for Kelsey, but I knew I had to get my mind off Declan and what we did.
That was…
A mistake, had to be. Me and mistakes were comrades in arms, best buddies. I went with mistakes like ketchup went with chicken nuggets—and ketchup definitely went with chicken nuggets. I wasn’t one of those savages who could eat my chicken with barbeque sauce. Ick. No thanks, no way, no how. I put ketchup on nearly every meat, actually.
Hmm. Maybe Kelsey and I could make a trip to McDonald’s. It wasn’t too far, and I’d get my chicken nugget fix.
If anything could make this week better, it was chicken nuggets.
Chapter Nineteen – Ash
Kelsey looked…much the same as she did a few months ago when I saw her last. She’d lost most of her summer tan, granted, but beyond that, she looked the same. No freshman fifteen or anything like that. No new, fancy haircut or hair color; it was still the same old brown that looked like it could be black, depending on the lighting. She wore a hoodie, looking quite comfortable as she plowed into her hamburger.
After I thought of McDonald’s, I knew that’s where we had to eat. Kelsey said she’d pay, since I’d be buying all our other meals with my meal card this weekend, and I let her do it, mostly because I didn’t have the money. I’d look into getting a part-time job around here, but my life had been a little busy as it was.
Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun, the kind of messy bun I could never pull off. I munched on some fries, waiting for my friend to spill the beans on whatever it was that was bothering her. Every few moments I threw a look around, probably acting paranoid, but I’d rather see Ray coming than be caught unaware again.
No more hit-and-runs for me, thanks.
“So,” I started, earning me a questioning stare from her, “what’s going on?”
“I think we should talk about you, first,” Kelsey said, flashing me a dimpled grin. Her eyes were a warm chocolatey color, the kind of color that invited you in while her mouth was busy insulting you. I adored her with my whole heart, and I’d be lost without her. Going to Hillcrest had changed our plans—we were supposed to go to the same college together, room together, and basically have the best time of our lives together.
That, clearly, didn’t work out, not after I practically got a full ride to one of the most prestigious all-male schools around. Okay, basically the only all-male school around, but still. Next year it would be co-ed, which was going to be interesting…provided I lived to see it.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” I said, eyes falling to my lap.
“Fuck off, of course there is. You’re going to a rich, preppy school with rich, preppy boys. Tell me all the details, girl, because I know once we get back to that room, you’re going to be tight-lipped.” Kelsey eyed me up, her dark brows furrowing. “You never did send me a picture of your roommate shirtless.”
I laughed. “Never got the chance.”
“Hmm. I guess I’ll see for myself once I meet him, huh?” She wrinkled her nose. “And how did your pink revenge go on that other one? Uh, what was his name…”
“Sawyer,” I muttered, feeling a pang of regret. I replayed our last conversation over in my head I couldn’t say how many times, and not once was I okay with it. Didn’t he know I had my own problems to handle? I didn’t need his shit, too. And yet, he still dumped
me with it.
Or maybe that was just me feeling strange now that he was done with me.
I…I didn’t want him to be done with me, just like I didn’t want him to fuck other girls. Sawyer wasn’t mine, and it probably came off as hypocritical after what I did with Declan earlier, but I didn’t care. I felt how I felt and I was too damn tired to make excuses for myself.
“He’s still got pink hair, so…good, I guess.” I shrugged. I really didn’t want to talk about Sawyer. Literally any other topic would be better.
“The boob can’t even Google how to get temporary dye out?” Kelsey chuckled, licking some ketchup off her fingers. I’d long since finished my nuggets. I didn’t play around when it came to those babies.
“The boob probably doesn’t know the difference between temporary and permanent dye,” I muttered. “But I don’t want to talk about him. I know what you’re trying to do, and it isn’t going to work.”
“What?” She blinked. “Using my charm to deflect the situation and turn it around on you? That’s not working?”
“Not at all.” I saw through Kelsey’s bullshit, but she, unfortunately, wasn’t able to see through mine. I didn’t blame her for it, though. I’d hidden Ray from her for years. I hid him from everyone. She wasn’t as bad of a liar as I was—and by that, I meant she wasn’t as good at it. Not something to be proud of, but we all had our talents. “Tell me what’s going on. You always ask how Hillcrest is going, but you never tell me how it’s going for you.”
Kelsey had elected to stay close to home, though her college was still an hour or so away from our hometown. A local, community college, one that was world’s cheaper than HU. A college that would still cause my friend to drown in debt. The wonders of America truly were great, huh?
Skank: A Dark College Bully Romance (Hillcrest University Book 3) Page 15
