Easy Reunion

by Jerald, Tracey

  “I’m dragging you out for dinner,” Darin warns. “You’re wasting away.”

  I blink a few times. “The thought of that is utterly incomprehensible, but sweet of you to say, nonetheless.” With a quick wave, I head back to my room to immerse myself again in a world I understand with every fiber of my being, a world where the girl doesn’t end up with the boy or perfect ending but the ending that fits the reality she lives in.

  * * *

  Five days later, Angel and I are standing in the basketball courtyard behind the building that holds Le Cadeau, Morgan Evans’s youth awareness program. The program built on the premise that each child is a gift, is a nonprofit in an area of the city that needs its youth to have strength in themselves to avoid the overly abundant temptations awaiting them. Wide-eyed, I turn to Angel and whisper, “I’m surprised Dare hasn’t tanned your hide for coming down here while you’re pregnant.”

  “What makes you think he hasn’t? Or that I haven’t enjoyed it?” Unable to stifle the laughter, we draw the notice of several of the older teens who are sitting on the nearby bleachers.

  “Hey, Ms. Angel!” one calls out. “How’re you feelin’?”

  “Big, Trina,” Angel calls back. “Want to do me a favor and round everyone who’s here inside?”

  “Can do.” The pretty blonde, who I notice with some shock is the second pregnant girl I’ve seen since I walked in the door. She pushes up off the bench and trudges away.

  “Should I…” But Angel stops me.

  “These kids may be broken, but they have their pride. You’ll learn that fast. Come on.” She slings an arm around my shoulders. “Let’s get you inside and set up.”

  But before we can move anywhere, a familiar face steps in front of us. “Kelsey? What are you doing here?” Lisa Perrault’s bright smile beams at me.

  I falter. I haven’t responded to Ry since his highly insulting comments at Audubon Park. I was too busy channeling my hurt and frustration into finishing my book. Now, knowing I have to deal with what happened, here’s his sister. What the hell am I supposed to say? “Umm, hey, Lisa. I didn’t know you volunteered here?”

  “I just started last week. I’m on a rotation through the program I’m working with at school. Every six months, they have me working at a new location in the inner city,” Lisa announces proudly. Oh, that explains how Angel didn’t know her when we saw her at Cafe Du Monde with her brother.

  Angel comes up behind me and shoves me inelegantly in the side. I barely hold back, snarling at her. “Do you remember my best friend, Angel Macondo?”

  Angel steps around me and smiles. “Hey, Lisa, right? Morgan mentioned ‘a Lisa’ was volunteering here now. I didn’t realize it was you. I’ve been off the last few days, or we’d have met officially sooner.” The two women shake hands.

  Lisa grins. “Have you been chaining her to her bed again? I know of someone desperate to reach her who’s getting more and more frustrated by the minute.”

  Before Angel can defend me, I speak up for myself. “I was under a tight deadline.” And I didn’t feel like listening to more excuses from your brother, but I hold that in. “One of the authors who publishes with the same press I do was in a terrible accident.” At Lisa’s horrified gasp, I nod.

  “Oh, how horrible. Will they be all right?” Her concern is genuine.

  “Eventually. But the worst thing he can be doing is looking at a computer. Now, he has time to recover from his concussion.”

  “And since you have a large number of overlapping readers, no one is going to be too disappointed,” Angel concludes for me.

  “Exactly.”

  “So, is that why…” But Lisa doesn’t get a chance to ask what I suspect she’s going to because Morgan joins us.

  “Kee?” Morgan is a tall, lovely redhead with a scar that runs from behind her right ear down her neck. Angel told me she got it in college after she was brutally attacked coming home from a frat party. Instead of hiding, she came back to the city consumed to help others realize they can survive no matter what life throws at them.

  She’s exactly the kind of person I want to know better.

  “The kids are inside waiting for you. But before I forget, I need the address of your publicist.” Morgan’s face is awash in shock. “They sent so many books—and not just yours. There are books for all of the children, no matter what age or gender.”

  I grin. Jim came through in a big way. “I’ll be sure to leave it with you.”

  We all begin to make our way inside. “Angel let me know you’re interested in volunteering? Won’t that interfere with your writing schedule?”

  I stop in front of a set of clear glass doors. Turning toward the remarkable woman, I ask, “Have you ever felt like it’d be easier if you ran away? If you disappeared? If your life was over because the dejection you feel when you’re all alone is more rewarding than the time you spend with someone else?”

  Morgan acknowledges my questions with a quiet nod.

  “Then you’ll understand I’ll find time to ensure history doesn’t repeat itself.” With that, I push open the doors to the curious but wary faces.

  I hold back while Morgan introduces me. “We have a new volunteer on staff. She’s going to be working with Angel closely and will be taking over Angel’s hours once she has the baby. I want to introduce you all to Ms. Kee. You all know the rules: treat her with respect unless she shows any disrespect. Then you come directly to me.” All of the kids in the room, from the oldest to the youngest, nod. The atmosphere relaxes when they realize I’m no threat. Teasing that ensues from a long-built trust commences.

  “Ms. Angel, you know you’re not going to be able to stay away,” one of the older boys sasses from the back.

  Angel laughs but admits, “Probably not. But see, Kee’s my best friend. I figure if anyone’s got a chance of keeping y’all in line, it’s her.”

  “Kee? Thwat’s a pwetty name,” a girl with perfect pom-poms in her hair lisps. I give her a beaming smile.

  “Thank you. I chose it for myself,” I reply.

  That sets off a massive rumble around the room. “Cool! I want to be known as Dr. Ponch from now on. You know, like the lake,” a boy calls out.

  “Don’t you mean Dr. Paunch? You know, like his stomach?” There are snickers around the room as a boy in the back is pointed at. The first boy cackles.

  I don’t even crack a smile. “There’s something you should know about me. I’ll be your best friend or your worst enemy. But the thing that will slide you right from one side to the other is cruelty. People used to try to break me every single day of my life. Sadness was my constant companion. So, you want to hang with me? Drop the attitude toward each other.” I look over at Morgan, who’s nodding.

  “I deliberately didn’t tell you about Kee because she’s going to do that herself tomorrow. But you should know she’s Kee Long, author of the Pilar Martell series.” All the kids in the room gasp. “These books are written from her soul, and now, they’re here because she gave them to us as a gift. Ms. Angel asked—and Ms. Kee agreed—that tomorrow, she’d talk about the inspiration behind that series to get to know all of you. It’s something she’s never done before.”

  I break in, “But it’s about understanding and respect. If you don’t think that’s cool, then maybe it’s not the place you want to be.”

  There’s a lot of “I’ll be here” and “Dude, you better not take my spot,” but for the boy who was taunted earlier, it’s like I’m standing in a mirror looking at myself fifteen years ago, but there’s something different. Something I’m not sure I know how to handle, but the look in his eyes when he dares to make contact with mine hurts me. I don’t know how to handle him without talking to Morgan. So, for now, all I do is take a deep breath and smile. “I hope you’ll all be back.”

  When I turn, Lisa’s standing right behind me. “You have no idea the strength you’re about to give these kids.”

  Turning around, I glance back at the boy
who was mocked earlier. He’s touching the cover of my first book with a reverence I think I had when I saw it for the first time. “I think I understand better than you think.”

  Angel and Morgan join us before we’re swarmed by kids. But out of the corner of my eye, I keep trying to make eye contact with the boy to let him know he’s not alone.

  None of us are even if we have doubts.

  Chapter 19

  Rierson

  Almost two weeks, at least twenty texts, and I’m no closer to reaching Kelsey than I was when she ran out of Audubon Park.

  God, I fucked up.

  When I got back to my house, Lisa was eager to ask me how my latest date went. I just shook my head and locked myself in my study with the etched glass of Kelsey’s words to keep me company. Less than an hour later, I sent my first text.

  I’m sorry. Please, talk to me.

  What I lost sight of when my temper snapped over her absolute disbelief in herself was Kelsey still has a right to be angry with me. She doesn’t know the truth. She doesn’t know about what could have happened to Lisa. She doesn’t know what happened to me. She has no idea of the insults she keeps piling on me over and over when she lumps me in with those pieces of shit from high school. I thought I was ready to face her in Savannah with a heartfelt but simple apology.

  I was so wrong.

  I can say “I’m sorry” a million times, but I’ve done a shit job at proving I don’t mean to harm her again. And Kelsey’s far from an idiot. She’s protecting herself from me, from her past, and all the pain associated with it. Instead of patience while I figure out how to explain something I never thought I’d have the chance to, I erupt like I’m the injured party.

  In the meanwhile, I keep trying to reach her. I’ve had no success, and I’m completely miserable.

  I can’t let go, I think frantically as I begin to text her again. Kels, I’m so sorry. I was wrong. Can we meet…

  I’m interrupted by Lisa walking into the kitchen, laughing. God, I don’t even remember what laughter feels like, I think sourly. I keep typing, and then I erase the text I started to send.

  I need to be open, apologize for something I didn’t mean to say. Again. But how? How do I even begin to explain my asshole remarks of late when I’m already on probation for the insult I hurled at her years ago? I’m doing my best to ignore Lisa as she chatters away about the kids at her new volunteer center—not because I don’t care, but because she’s been talking about them nonstop. From what she’s described, it’s a great organization that focuses on destructive home life, bullying, and abusiveness in the school. Then I hear her side of the conversation.

  “Nice job!” Lisa pauses. “That’s incredible. And we’re so thankful for everything with your publicist.”

  My ears pick up at that. Publicist? I close out the text app so I don’t send Kelsey a bunch of gibberish. Instead, I open a Notes page and begin typing the idea for a new text in there while I blatantly eavesdrop.

  “Right. Talk about a happy coincidence to see you at the youth center today.” Lisa pauses before exclaiming, “I know, small world! No, that’s crazy that Angel and I only met for the first time. I don’t know how much we’ll be working together; Morgan said she likes to spread us out. She called all hands on deck because you were coming in.” There’s a pause where Lisa listens before a huge smile breaks out across her face. She turns partially away from me before gushing, “Thanks, Kelsey.” My Kelsey? I straighten up, my phone clattering to the counter. Lisa continues blithely on as if she hasn’t just earned an interrogation when her call ends, the likes of which I haven’t given her since I was home from college break and realized she was dating.

  “That means a lot. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. It’s been my dream to work with kids who need extra emotional support. And the volunteer work I’m starting for Le Cadeau? It’s a dream come true.” Another pause. “Well, let’s just say after you and Angel left, the kids couldn’t stop talking about the donation of your books.” Another pause. “No, he spent his time reading; he didn’t talk with the others. I agree, so many of those kids are affected by those very issues. Have you given more thought to what you’re going to…really?” Lisa starts jumping up and down like a kangaroo in the kitchen.

  I’m more than a little scared, to be honest, even if I plan on attacking this particular kangaroo as soon as she hangs up the phone.

  “Okay. Fantastic. So, tomorrow around four? Wonderful! We’ll see you and Angel then! Bye, Kels!” Lisa hangs up the phone with a war whoop that I haven’t heard since her days on the soccer field. Then she turns and stumbles.

  “Uh-oh.”

  “Not exactly how I would have phrased it. You do realize I—”

  “Was a complete ass? Yep,” Lisa chirps.

  I glare at Lisa like she’s an opponent in the Bayou boardroom.

  “Angel was arguing with Kelsey in the background that she should respond telling you to ‘go to hell’ after one of your texts came in. Kelsey was conflicted,” Lisa confides. “Whatever you did must have been monumental, brother.”

  “I said she was still broken,” I admit morosely.

  I should have been expecting the punch, but I wasn’t. That’s likely why Lisa managed to knock me off the stool and onto my ass. “Hey,” I protest.

  “You do deserve to be called an asshole, Ry!” she shouts. “What the hell were you thinking?”

  “I wasn’t!” I yell back. “I couldn’t stand her lumping me in with the people we graduated with!”

  Silence descends on the kitchen. “Are you ever going to tell me what they did to you? Are you going to continue to carry the burden? The things you’ve held inside?” Lisa comes around the side of the counter and wraps her arms around me from behind. Her chin rests against my shoulder.

  I stiffen. “What makes you think there are things I’m holding back?”

  “What makes you think I’m an idiot?” she counters. Crawling in front of me, she grips my forearms and shakes me a little. But her small hands do little more than nudge me. “If you think I can’t see there’s something that still has a grip on you after all these years that would cause you to sabotage your happiness, then you must not think I’m as smart as you keep telling me I am.” Lisa lets me go, pushes to her feet, and turns to walk away.

  “Lisa?” She stops. “I live with it just fine.”

  “You don’t live with anything if you lash out at the people who make you afraid to look back at the past and feel good about themselves.” With that, she turns and leaves the kitchen. Her words hover in the air.

  Shoving to my feet, I pick up the coffee in front of me to take a sip, but my stomach rebels at the idea of swallowing anything. I slam the mug down, and the force causes the handle to break off in my hand, leaving a small trickle of blood from the shard of chipped ceramic.

  Aw, look at how well he’s taking it.

  What a good newbie. Don’t hurt him too much. He still has to race this week.

  Rough male laughter rasps at my ear, “You heard, Cap. So, no more of this.” Another sharp movement that seems to bleed into another.

  As my body is released from the hold, I refuse to let them have the satisfaction of hearing me cry out, so I bite down on my hand.

  And only I notice the small trickle of blood…

  Snapping out of the memories, I realize I need to talk to Cade. If there’s one person who truly understands, it’s him. And before I can beg my sister to get me entry into Le Cadeau, I need to have an excuse for why I snapped.

  Because I can never admit what happened. Not to anyone who didn’t live through something similar.

  * * *

  A few hours later, Cade and I are in a corner booth in a seedy dive in the Quarter. I just got finished explaining everything that’s happened since the night of the reunion. He’s been remarkably silent, which for my overly opinionated best friend is a damn miracle. “I don’t know what to do. How do I fix this?” I ask morosely.

 
; “You’re not going to like my answer.”

  “What?”

  “You have to tell her.”

  I immediately begin to shake my head. No way. No how. It took everything left in the withering part of that long-ago boy to explain to my father and the president of the school. There’s no way I can tell Kelsey what I never want to remember but can’t seem to truly forget.

  He holds up a placating hand. “Not all of it. Hell, I’m not sure if I ever could. What we each lived through…” He shakes his head. “No one should have that in their heads.”

  Since I agree, I don’t bother responding. I tag my drink and lift it to my lips, waiting for him to continue.

  “But Kelsey may not be able to separate what happened on your graduation day from the man you are long term without understanding. You were her friend, Ry, then, suddenly, you weren’t.”

  “I was her friend a hell of a lot longer than…”

  “It doesn’t matter,” Cade tells me ruthlessly. “If you went by that logic, then you’d still be friends with—”

  I cut him off. “I get your point.” There’s no way of that ever being the case. Ever. “So, I killed it all, everything we had between us?” My heart is crumbling inside of my chest to realize I held out hope for fifteen years for nothing.

  “That’s not what I said.”

  “That’s what you implied,” I snap back, before taking a drink.

  “Jesus, Ry. When did you lose your ability to think?” Cade drawls sarcastically. “Would a woman who’s been so hurt by a man ever give him a shot if some part of her didn’t care?”

  My eyes widen a fraction as Cade sighs. “You’re an idiot. From the moment you realized who she was again, you should have straight up apologized. You have to get her past thinking you’re the reason her life was such shit, Ry. From what you’ve told me, you were her safe harbor.”