The Edge of Nowhere

by C. H. Armstrong

  I thought on this for a moment and did a mental calculation of the costs. “I might could do that. We’d have to be careful on our other expenses, but I think it’d work.”

  “Okay, then. I’ll take you home today. We’ll set your appointments up so that they’re my last of the day, and then I’ll give you a lift home after his injection.”

  My face flamed with humiliation. Once again, I was taking charity from a stranger. And once again, I had no choice. I would swallow my pride in the best interests of Ethan.

  Together we took Ethan back to Mrs. Watkins’s home, then Dr. Greene carried my son upstairs to the room we shared. For the next three weeks, this would become our reality: late afternoon appointments for injections, followed by charity rides home from the good doctor.

  We soon settled into a pattern. Each morning I awoke early and did simple housecleaning for Mrs. Watkins as payment for our keep. Then, each afternoon, I took Ethan by bus to the hospital.

  For his part, Ethan was quieter than normal. He complained constantly about the pain in his shoulder, but he was slowly regaining some of his energy. The shots, on the other hand, were horrible. Each one robbed him of what little energy he had. He’d return home each night and sleep for a couple hours before having dinner, then drift back off to sleep for the night.

  CHAPTER FORTY

  “DR. GREENE IS QUITE HANDSOME,” MRS. WATKINS said to me the next week. For nearly a week, he’d been bringing us home and carrying Ethan to his room at the end of every visit.

  “I really hadn’t noticed.” I shrugged. It was a lie, but it was mostly the truth. It would be impossible to ignore how attractive Dale Greene was, but my priority was Ethan and getting back to El Reno.

  “Well, he’s certainly noticed you,” she smiled.

  “What d’ya mean?”

  “Ya haven’t noticed the way he looks at you? I’m sure it’s not every child he brings home from the hospital, personally. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was interested in ya, Victoria. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, would it?”

  “No.” I shook my head. “It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, but I’m sure you’re mistaken.”

  “Maybe I am, but I don’t think so. Think on it a bit. A man like Dr. Greene is in a position to take some of your worries away. You’re still young and attractive, and he seems interested. It wouldn’t take much encouragement from ya, I wouldn’t think.”

  “Encouragement from me for what?”

  “For him to become more interested. He’s single with no children. I heard he’d been married some years back, but he and his wife never had any children. She died young—broke her neck falling down the stairs, I think. I’d heard he was devastated. That was some time ago, and he’s still a young man.”

  “Ya think he’d be interested in a woman with four children?” I asked.

  “I don’t know but, if I were you, I’d explore it some. Encourage him a little if he seems interested.”

  “I’ll think on it, but I think you’re wrong. He’d be crazy to take on a widow with four children. What would he gain?”

  “A family,” she said simply. “At his age, he’s not likely to wanna start brand new, but he can have an instant family by marryin’ someone with children young enough to accept him as their father. Ethan is certainly young enough, and ya have a baby at home. I don’t think the other two are too old yet to accept him, do you?”

  “Probably not, but this is ridiculous. He’s Ethan’s doctor. He’s just bein’ kind. I won’t do anything to interfere with Ethan’s care.”

  “Just keep an open mind, dear,” she replied.

  OVER THE NEXT several days, I couldn’t get Mrs. Watkins’s words out of my head. Each day Dr. Greene—Dale, as he’d insisted I call him—carefully loaded Ethan into his car and brought us home, then gently carried him up to the bedroom to rest upon our bed. He never said or did anything inappropriate or forward, yet I had begun to consider the possibility that Mrs. Watkins might be right.

  The following Wednesday marked the halfway point for Ethan’s injections. Dale and I had enjoyed an easy relationship, taking the drive home to converse about a variety of different subjects. In the space of about ten days, we’d become friends of a sort. I enjoyed his company and, while I was ready to go home, I’d begun to resent the idea of saying goodbye.

  “Ya know, Victoria,” he said that afternoon. “We’re almost through with the injections.”

  I smiled. “I’m glad. I never imagined how hard these were gonna be. He’s takin’ ’em well, but it’s sapped all of his energy. He sleeps all day.”

  “I figured as much. Between the poison from the rabies and the pain from the injections, he’s pretty worn out.”

  “I’ll be ready when it’s all over so he can get back to his normal self, doin’ the things he loves to do.”

  “What about you, Victoria?” he asked. “What will you do?”

  “Me?” I laughed. “I guess I’ll go back to what I was doin’ before we came here. The kids have been with my mother, and I’m sure they’re ready to see me return and pick up some of the workload.”

  “Let me take you out this evening,” he offered. “I can take you to dinner and, maybe, dancing. I get the impression you don’t have much time for fun back at home.”

  “Oh, I couldn’t.” My face flushed with heat. “I don’t have anyone to stay with Ethan. But thank you.”

  “Sure you can. Just say yes. You can ask Mrs. Watkins to stay with Ethan. The worst of his pain is gone, and he’s not as sensitive to sound. He’ll sleep anyway, and you can step away for a little bit and enjoy yourself. Get away for an evening. Let me show you what it’s like to have fun.”

  I shook my head. “I really couldn’t ask Mrs. Watkins. She’s been kind enough to allow us to stay with her. She didn’t sign on to be a babysitter.”

  “Ask her,” he urged. “I bet she’d be delighted.”

  “I’ll think about it,” I said as we pulled into the driveway.

  As had become our custom, Dale carried Ethan up to the bedroom and tucked him into bed. Following behind him, I tucked Ethan a little tighter then followed Dale out to the front room to bid him goodbye.

  “How’s the baby?” Mrs. Watkins asked.

  “Much better,” Dale said. “His mother, on the other hand, could use a night out.”

  “Oh?” she asked.

  “Dale, that’s enough,” I said.

  “Yes.” He turned his charm full force on Mrs. Watkins. “I’d like to take her out to dinner, but she swears she has no one to keep Ethan.”

  “Well!” Mrs. Watkins huffed and placed her hands on her hips. “What in the world am I? I can stay with the boy for a couple of hours!”

  “Mrs. Watkins, thank you. But—”

  “Don’t you give me any buts, young lady!” she interrupted. “I’ve told ya time and again I’d be happy to stay with Ethan while you step out for a bit. I’m beginnin’ to feel as though ya don’t trust me with the boy!”

  My eyes shot wide. “Oh, no! It’s not that at all! I just don’t wanna take advantage. You’ve given us a place to live these last several weeks. I couldn’t ask for more.”

  “I insist,” she said. “Go. Let Dr. Greene take ya out. Enjoy yourself while ya can. Ethan and I will be fine. He’ll sleep anyway, I’m sure.”

  I felt so torn. On the one hand, I wanted to get out. I was sick of worrying, and I just wanted one evening without worries. On the other hand, I felt like I was taking advantage of Mrs. Watkins. Before I could respond, however, Dale answered for me.

  “There you go, Victoria. It’s settled.” Dale looked at his watch. “It’s almost 6:00 now. How about I come back for you at 7:30? Give you some time to settle down and change?”

  “Fine,” I said, not sure whether I was angry or thrilled.

  With an impish grin, Dale said his goodbyes to Mrs. Watkins. I was left standing in the middle of the front room, wondering what in the world I’d a
greed to do.

  AN HOUR LATER, I stood in front of the small closet in the guest bedroom and realized I had nothing appropriate to wear. I didn’t have much anyway, but what I had was worn and dated; certainly not appropriate for an evening of dinner and dancing.

  “I can’t go.” I turned to Mrs. Watkins, who’d insisted upon helping me get ready. “I have nothin’ to wear. You’ll have to tell him when he gets here because I just can’t.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” She moved toward me and crowded me aside as she selected a dress from the closet. “This blue dress is lovely. Just put a sweater over it, and you won’t notice the wear quite so much.”

  “I haven’t got a sweater that isn’t more worn,” I told her.

  “Maybe not, but I do.” Leaving the room, she returned only moments later with a lovely cream-colored sweater that looked nearly new.

  “Oh no.” I put my hand palm up in front of me. “I can’t. It looks like it’s never been worn.”

  “It’s been worn, and you most certainly can. I insist.” Bringing her other hand out from behind her back, she held out a string of pearls. “I also grabbed these to go with it. They were my mother’s, and I think they’ll look lovely together.”

  I shook my head. “Oh no! I couldn’t!”

  “Oh yes, you can. I insist.” Turning me away from her, she placed the strand around my neck and secured the clasp. “There. Now finish gettin’ ready. He’ll be here shortly.”

  As Mrs. Watkins left the room, I stared at my refletion in the mirror and touched the pearls around my neck. My eyes misted with gratitutde at her kindness. They were beautiful, and the addition lent elegance to my simple attire. Blowing out a breath, I donned the sweater she had left behind and assessed my appearance one last time. Seconds later, I heard Dale’s voice from the front room. He had arrived promptly and my time was up.

  Crossing into the main room, my breath caught as I saw Dale standing in the entry. I was so used to seeing him in his white coat that I hadn’t realized how handsome he would appear in a well-made suit.

  Dale smiled at my appearance. “Victoria. You look lovely. Are you ready?”

  “Thank you.” I grinned. “Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.”

  “Then let’s go.” To Mrs. Watkins he said, “We shouldn’t be too late.”

  “Take your time and have fun. I’ll still be here. I’ll go to bed if I’m tired, so just take your time and enjoy yourselves.”

  With those words, I was whisked out the door and into Dale’s waiting vehicle.

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  DALE TOOK ME TO AN ELEGANT RESTAURANT, and I dined out for the second time in my life. It was impossible to not remember Will and the day we were married. I’d been so young then, not to mention naive. Though I was only twelve years older now, life had aged me drastically.

  Conversation with Dale was easy. He was intelligent and far more worldly than anyone I’d ever known. If I wondered for even a minute what it was he found attractive about me, I quickly dismissed it. He seemed truly interested in my thoughts and opinions. In those few hours with Dale, I had fun for the first time since Will’s death.

  “Tell me about your children,” he asked. “I’ve met Ethan, but you have three more?”

  “Yes.” I nodded and set my fork down. “Grace is the oldest at ten, Jack is eight, Ethan is six, and David is just fifteen months.”

  “So who is with the other three children while you’re here?”

  “My mother. My father passed away in April, so we all live together. She agreed to keep the children while I brought Ethan here. Now, tell me more about you. Marriages? Children?”

  “No children.” He shook his head. “My wife—Evelyn was her name—died three years ago.”

  “So it’s been just you, alone, these last three years?”

  “Pretty much. My family is all in St. Louis. I came here to Oklahoma City about ten years ago to take the job at the hospital. I see the family from time to time, but not often. Usually a few years pass in between visits.”

  Dale and I talked for hours. As the restaurant closed around us, we decided to take a walk rather than go dancing. I’d explained I was a terrible dancer, and he’d replied that he preferred quiet conversation anyway. So we walked in the cool of the October night until my feet ached.

  At the end of our evening, Dale walked me to the front door of Mrs. Watkins’s home and kissed me gently. “Let’s do this again, Victoria?”

  “I don’t know,” I replied. “I don’t wanna take advantage of Mrs. Watkins. Besides that, I’ll be goin’ home soon. I can’t see how this is a good idea.”

  “Let me decide if this is a good idea, okay?” He leaned down and kissed me a second time.

  I returned his kiss and bid him goodnight, promising to see him tomorrow for Ethan’s next injection.

  AFTER THAT FIRST night out with Dale, it was impossible to tell him no. Each day he’d bring me home with Ethan, then conspire with Mrs. Watkins to take me out again. As the end of Ethan’s injections snuck up on us, I realized I’d been out with Dale every night since that first night celebrating the halfway mark. I didn’t love Dale, but I enjoyed his company far more than I’d enjoyed anyone’s company since Will. I would be sorry to say goodbye.

  “Tomorrow is Ethan’s last injection,” Dale said as we brought Ethan in and laid him on the bed. “Where should we go tonight?”

  “Oh, so you’re just gonna assume I’ll step out with ya now, are ya?” I laughed.

  “Would I be wrong?” He grinned.

  Pausing for a moment, I replied. “No, ya wouldn’t be wrong. In fact I’m quite lookin’ forward to it. You decide. Surprise me.”

  “Oh, I intend to.” His grin was sly—devious, even. “Shall I pick you up at 7:30 again?”

  “I’ll see ya then.” I was still smiling as I watched Dale walk to his car.

  I HAD TWENTY minutes until Dale arrived, and I still had no idea what to wear. I’d worn everything I owned at least three times, and my wardrobe wasn’t revealing anything newer or better than it had any of the other ten times I’d stood in this same spot. I didn’t hear Mrs. Watkins until she was behind me.

  “So this is it, huh? Tomorrow is Ethan’s last injection?”

  “Yes,” I said, turning to face her. “I wanted to thank you for allowin’ us to stay here. I know it’s cost ya more than ya planned. I just want ya to know that someday, when things are easier for us, I’ll pay ya back.”

  “You don’t owe me anything, Victoria,” she said, taking my hands in hers. “You filled an empty room and ya kept me company. You gave me a chance to get to know you, the daughter of a dear friend. I couldn’t ask for anything more. So, enough of that. Let’s talk about you and Dr. Greene.”

  “What is there to talk about?”

  “He’s quite taken with ya.”

  Stepping away, I turned back toward the mirror. “He’s just bein’ kind. He’s become a good friend, and I appreciate all he’s done for Ethan.”

  “I don’t believe that, and I don’t think you believe it either.”

  “Well, I guess it doesn’t matter what I believe.” I shrugged. “Tonight is our last night. Tomorrow I’ll be too busy preparin’ to take Ethan home.”

  “You’ve stepped out with him every night for the last week and a half. Ya don’t think that means something?”

  “Sure. It means he’s lonely and wanted to enjoy some time in friendly company. That’s all. Don’t start thinkin’ it’s somethin’ it’s not.” I turned toward her. “He’s a doctor, for goodness sake. He couldn’t possibly want anything more than a friendship with me. I have four children, and I’m dirt poor. He’s well-educated, and I just barely finished high school. He’d have nothin’ to gain from marryin’ me.”

  Smoothing the skirt on the dress I’d worn the first evening I’d stepped out with Dale, I turned to check my profile in the mirror. “Would ya mind if I borrowed that sweater again? I hate to ask, but I don’t really have anyth
ing very nice. I thought I might wear this again.”

  “Of course,” she said, leaving to find it.

  Returning moments later, she placed the sweater over my shoulders just as Dale’s knock sounded on the front door.

  “I’ll get it,” she said. “You finish gettin’ ready.”

  “Mama?” said Ethan from the bed near the corner.

  “Yes, baby?” I took a seat next to him, and smoothed my palm over his forehead. “How’re ya feelin’?”

  “Better. Are ya goin’ out with Dr. Greene?”

  “Yes, darlin’. Just one last time before we go home. Is that okay if I leave ya with Mrs. Watkins one more night?”

  “Uh huh,” he said. “I like Dr. Greene. And Mrs. Watkins is really nice. But I wanna go home.”

  “Almost, baby. Just one more shot tomorrow, and then we’ll go home. Can ya be my strong boy for one more day? You’ve done such a good job so far.”

  Ethan’s eyes filled with tears. “I hate those shots, Mama.”

  “I know, baby. But they’re important. You’ve been so big and strong. I don’t think Mama could’ve taken them like you have. Can ya handle just one more, and then we’ll head back home the next day?”

  “I guess,” he said, his voice clogged with tears.

  Smoothing Ethan’s golden hair away from his forehead, I studied my beautiful boy. “I’m fixin’ to go now. Are ya feelin’ well enough to come eat dinner in the kitchen with Mrs. Watkins?”

  “In a minute,” he said.

  “Okay, then. I’m gonna go. I’ll be back in a little bit, but you’ll probably be asleep.”

  “Love you, Mama,” he said. “Me too, baby.”

  DALE TOOK ME to the same restaurant he’d taken me that first night; an elegant restaurant in the heart of downtown, and not too far from the hospital. My mind was filled with thoughts of tomorrow and the days ahead. I was finally going home!

  “Victoria?” Dale interrupted my thoughts. “Where are you? I’ve said your name three times, and you’re clearly somewhere else.”

  “I’m sorry.” I smiled guiltily. “Maybe tonight was a bad idea. I have so much on my mind. I have to get Ethan through tomorrow, then check the bus schedule to go home on Saturday. I haven’t even talked to my mother or the children since I’ve been here, so they’ll be surprised to see me. Then just gettin’ back to normal life …”