Always

by Iris Johansen

  “You are older now.”

  She made a face. “Thanks a lot.” It was true giving birth had a tendency to be a little more difficult at her age. Yet it had surprised as well as frightened her when she had almost lost the baby in the second month. She didn’t feel any older than when she carried Tommy. She felt younger and vibrantly, wonderfully alive.

  “Mr. Donahue was right. It was best you stay here and rest.” Marna frowned. “Though climbing up all these steps to the battlements is not rest, either.”

  “I’m very careful and take my time. I wouldn’t do anything to risk the baby.” Her hand unconsciously went to her belly. She was carrying the child squarely in the front, as she had with Tommy, and was going to be just as large. She had been feeling terribly unattractive lately, and that might have contributed to her depression when Clancy had flown into Marasef without her.

  At the palace Clancy would probably run into any number of beautiful, slim women, she thought gloomily. When he came back he would probably take one look at her and make an excuse to return. Most men had a chance to appreciate their women’s trim figures for some time before this change came about. She had cheated Clancy by blowing up like a balloon only a few months after he had set eyes on her. He’d never said a word about her increasing bulk, but that didn’t mean anything. Clancy was always gentle and tactful with her.

  A faint whirring broke her reverie and she sat up eagerly in the chair. Her hand reached up to shade her eyes, and she exclaimed with satisfaction. Marna’s gaze followed hers to the helicopter just appearing on the horizon. She frowned and then slowly shook her head. “No, it’s not Mr. Donahue.”

  “Of course it is. I recognize the helicopter.” Lisa was already on her feet and hurrying toward the door that led to the stairs. “I’ll go meet him in the courtyard.”

  “It’s not …” Marna stopped. Lisa had already disappeared. She turned back to watch the approaching helicopter. A smile that held an element of fierce joy curved her lips. “Kira.”

  The wind stirred by the propellers of the helicopter whipped Lisa’s tunic against her body as it settled on the flagstones of the courtyard. She took an eager step forward, then stopped as her heart gave a sickening lurch of disappointment. Marna was right; it wasn’t Clancy piloting the helicopter. The door opened and an auburn head emerged from the cockpit.

  “Hi, I’m Kira Rubinoff.” The petite pilot jumped to the ground and slammed the door of the helicopter. “You must be Lisa. Sorry to barge in here without an invitation, but Clancy said it would be all right. I wanted to see Marna.” She smiled engagingly. “Not that I wasn’t curious about you, too. Clancy has been keeping you to himself for so long that we’re all wild to meet you.”

  “All?”

  “Lance and Alex and …” She shrugged. “Oh, just everybody. Everyone loves Clancy, and we wanted to make sure you were good enough for—” She broke off with a grimace. “Oh, Lord, there I go again. I don’t know why Stefan thinks I’d ever be even a mediocre queen. With my lack of diplomacy, there’s every chance I’d start World War Three.”

  She crossed to Lisa and held out a small, well-shaped hand. “If Clancy chose you, I’m sure you’re wonderful. Please forgive me.”

  How could she do anything else? Lisa thought. The girl had a zestful, exuberant charm that was completely irresistible. Kira Rubinoff couldn’t have been more than twenty-two, but she had a poise and presence far beyond her years. She was only a little over five feet, and every one of those inches was curvaceous and alluring. Even in faded jeans and a white T-shirt she exuded a potent sex appeal—a good deal of which was probably generated by a head of flaming auburn hair that tumbled to her shoulders in a riot of curls. The face framed by that shining mass was more intriguing than pretty. High cheekbones, beautifully curved lips that held a hint of sensitivity, and deep sapphire eyes that were slightly tilted.

  “I’m very glad to meet you, Princess Rubinoff.” Lisa took her hand. “And I’m not good enough for Clancy. But then I don’t think anyone would be. I do try, however.”

  “Kira. I’ve been Princess Rubinoff for the last three months and it’s practically driven me bananas. Please don’t remind me.”

  “That’s Clancy’s helicopter, isn’t it? Why didn’t he come with you?”

  “Something hot is breaking in Marasef with the terrorist situation, and he had to stay longer. He said to tell you he’d be in late tonight or early tomorrow morning.”

  Lisa felt a chill run through her. “Terrorists?”

  “He’s not in any danger,” Kira said quickly. “They’ve just heard some of the group have crossed the border from Said Ababa, and they’re trying to round up informers to find out where they’re hiding.” She smiled and suddenly her face was vividly alive. “We’ll have a chance to get to know each other. You’re an American, aren’t you? I went to school in the U.S. Yale. Stefan wanted me to go to the Sorbonne, but I convinced him that I was very impressed by the Communist activities there, so he changed his mind.”

  Lisa raised a brow. “And were you interested in the Communists?”

  “Of course not. I have no idea whether there are any Communists at the Sorbonne. But that was the only way I could get him to send me to America.” Her eyes twinkled. “He wasn’t about to risk nurturing a Communist sympathizer who might overthrow the monarchy. He may be a bit thick, but he has heard about the Russian Revolution.”

  “I can see how he might object,” Lisa said, smiling.

  Kira shrugged. “Oh, Stefan objects to everything about me. He believes that I was born solely to initiate havoc and disturb the peace.”

  “And have you been doing that?”

  It was Marna’s deep voice behind them, and Kira whirled with a little cry. Then the girl flew across the courtyard and into her arms. “Oh, Marna, I missed you so.” The poise and sophistication were suddenly gone, and she looked like a little girl as she was enfolded in the large woman’s embrace. “I tried so hard to be good, but he kept bringing out these horribly depressing types with sweaty palms and brains the size of peas.”

  “You shouldn’t have gone back. I told you it would do no good.” Marna stroked Kira’s fiery hair with amazing tenderness. “What happened this time?”

  “I was too impatient. It had been three months and my being good hadn’t seemed to make any difference. We were at the country estate and Stefan was showing everyone through the stables. He’d just bought that prize jumper from the Calumet stables and Don Esteban—”

  “Don Esteban is one of these sweaty palm types?” Marna interrupted.

  Kira nodded. “The very clammiest, and he kept putting them on me. I couldn’t stand him. He was always bragging about his prowess in the bullring. It appears the big wine tycoon is an amateur bullfighter. You know how I hate bullfights. Those poor bulls …”

  “I know,” Marna said quietly.

  “Well, we were passing by this empty stall and his hand just happened to fall on my derriere.” She shrugged. “So I tripped him and he fell into the stall.”

  “Is that all?”

  “That was enough. The stableboys hadn’t cleaned it out yet, and that wasn’t all he fell into.” Kira made a face. “Stefan was watching and he was absolutely furious.” She nestled closer. “So I hopped a plane and flew back to Marasef. I thought I’d give him time to cool off before I went back.”

  “You’re not going back,” Marna said harshly. “It is useless. Why should you let that chitka make you unhappy?”

  “You know why. I’m not going—” Suddenly she broke off and turned to face Lisa. “Lord, I’m sorry. We’re being terribly rude. You must be awfully bewildered by all of this.”

  “It’s none of my business,” Lisa said. “If you’d rather be alone …”

  Kira shook her head. “Clancy cares about you and he helped us when we needed it.” She shrugged. “Heaven knows it’s no big secret. The entire family know why we’re in Sedikhan.” She glanced at Lisa’s protruding stomach, and a fl
icker of mischief lit her eyes. “Clancy’s obviously been too busy to fill you in—at least, as far as information goes.”

  “It’s a possibility,” Lisa said, a tiny smile tugging at her lips.

  “Well anyway, the first thing you should know is that Stefan is a pompous ass and something of a …”

  “Chitka?” Lisa suggested.

  “Definitely. Tamrovia isn’t one of the richest countries in Europe, and he has these antiquated ideas about arranged marriages to benefit the monarchy. He’s been trying to palm me off on every eligible royal head of state or billionaire in the world since I was sixteen. He doesn’t care which as long as the power is there. Naturally I wasn’t about to be manipulated, so I fought back.”

  “By pushing wealthy bullfighters into piles of manure?” Lisa asked with a grin.

  “That was totally uninspired. Marna and I managed much more creative ways to discourage the others. Then Stefan had a brainstorm and decided that since he couldn’t punish me for these little pranks, he’d go after Marna.”

  “Pranks?”

  “The Greek shipowner developed a terrible rash,” Marna said with a shrug. “Kira told him to leave her alone. I don’t know what all the fuss was about. I made sure that it would go away in a day or two.”

  Kira’s lips tightened. “Stefan put Marna in prison. He thought he could use her to pressure me.”

  “But you broke her out and with Clancy’s help whisked her here to Sedikhan,” Lisa said. Good heavens, it was like something out of a soap opera. No wonder Clancy had said that Kira and Marna were an explosive combination.

  Kira nodded. “Right. That was—”

  “Kira, she shouldn’t be out here in this sun listening to you chatter,” Marna interrupted. “I will go prepare your room, and you take her inside and get her a cool drink. Make sure she takes her iron pill with it.” She turned away and walked briskly across the courtyard.

  “I’m sorry.” Kira looked stricken. “I didn’t know you were that fragile.”

  “I’m not,” Lisa said with a sigh. “She acts as if I’m made of glass. I had a little difficulty with the baby during my second month and she’s been wrapping me in cotton wool ever since.”

  Kira nodded, her affectionate gaze following Marna. “She has a very loving heart, and she likes you. I can tell. She’s very protective of the people she cares about.”

  “And I believe you are, too,” Lisa said, her eyes on the girl’s face.

  “I love her,” Kira said simply. “She raised me. My parents and Stefan never had any time for me, and Lance couldn’t stand Tamrovia and was always in Sedikhan. She’s been my mother, teacher, and friend.” She shrugged. “Everything. That’s why I can’t let her be exiled like this. Marna is a gypsy and they have very close tribal ties. She hates being away from her people. I thought maybe she’d adjust to Sedikhan, but she’s been miserably unhappy here.”

  “And that’s why you went back to Tamrovia?”

  “What else could I do? I thought if I put up with all that courtship bull for a while, I could talk Stefan into a pardon for Marna.” She grimaced. “I blew it. Maybe if I’d stuck it out just a little longer …”

  “You’re going back?”

  “I can’t do anything else. I have to try again.” Her shoulders shifted as if she were throwing off a burden. “But that’s not for a while. I’m free now and I’m going to enjoy myself.” She smiled. “Come on, I have to get you that cool drink and your pill or Marna will have my head.”

  In the hours that followed, Lisa found she was having a wonderful time. Kira Rubinoff had the facility of throwing herself into every situation and relationship with a lovable enthusiasm. The girl herself was lovable, and by the end of the evening Lisa felt as close to her as if they’d been friends for years.

  They were having coffee in the library after dinner when Lisa first began to have a niggling sense of uneasiness. It was almost ten o’clock. Surely Clancy should be home by now.

  “You’re frowning,” Kira said, eyes narrowing. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I was just thinking about Clancy.” Lisa smiled with an effort. “I know you said he might be late. I guess I worry too much.”

  “You worry about him. He worries about you.” Kira’s expression was suddenly wistful. “It must be nice to be in love like that.”

  “Very nice,” Lisa said softly.

  She frowned. “Then why in the devil don’t you marry him?” Her gaze touched on Lisa’s abdomen. “You’re pregnant with his child, and Clancy’s too old-fashioned not to want to legitimize it as soon as possible. It’s probably bothering the hell out of him.”

  “You think so?” Lisa asked. Clancy hadn’t mentioned marriage since that night on Paradise Cay. Even then he’d assumed she wouldn’t want to go through with a ceremony that would bind her to him.

  “I know so,” Kira said positively. “Don’t you two ever talk? He’s not liberated enough to embrace the concept of illegitimacy with open arms. I’m surprised he hasn’t forced you before a magistrate at gunpoint.”

  But he wouldn’t have done that, Lisa thought with a pang of tenderness. Clancy had promised her freedom, and he would never go back on his word, even if it was hurting him.

  “There I go again. I know it’s none of my business. I just don’t like to see Clancy unhappy. Forget it.”

  “I won’t forget it,” Lisa said slowly. “Because I don’t like to see Clancy unhappy, either.”

  And she couldn’t forget about it, even after she’d left Kira and retired to her room for the night. She showered, put on a nightgown, and slipped into bed but didn’t bother to turn out the bedside lamp. She knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway while she was worried about Clancy. Had she been too blind to notice Clancy’s unhappiness with the situation? She hoped she hadn’t been that self-centered, but there was a possibility that she might have been. He had seemed as content as she, but maybe …

  The door opened suddenly and Lisa sat up in bed. Clancy! A wave of relief swept over her as she saw him standing in the doorway.

  “Are you okay?” he asked as he came into the room. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get back sooner, but—”

  “I’m fine,” she interrupted. He looked so tired. There were deep lines around his mouth, and the skin was taut over his cheekbones. “How are you? I was worried about you.”

  “Were you?” He came across the room and dropped on the bed beside her, then took her in his arms. “That’s nice to know.” He kissed her gently. “Maybe I should go away more often.”

  “No.” Her arms tightened about him. “Oh, no.”

  “I brought Galbraith back with me.” His hand stroked her back. “I may have to go away again for another day or two. I wanted someone here to protect you.”

  She stiffened. “Protect me? Why should I have to have anyone to protect me?”

  “Just a precaution. I don’t like leaving you alone. You’re too important for me to risk.” He changed the subject. “How did you and Kira get along?”

  “Wonderfully. I like her very much. I’m glad she’s going to stay for a while. She practically oozes vitality.”

  “She certainly does.” He frowned. “But don’t let her enthusiasm carry you away. She sometimes thinks everyone has as much energy as she does.”

  Lisa nodded. “I noticed that, but she’s very appealing.” Suddenly her eyes grew wistful. “And that gorgeous figure. I don’t envy her vitality, but oh, what I’d give not to be quite so clumsy-looking.”

  His hand went to her abdomen and rubbed gently back and forth on the slight swelling. “It really bothers you?”

  “It bothers any pregnant woman to be unattractive, even when she knows it won’t last that long. There’s no question that it’s worth it, but yes, it does bother me.” She smiled uncertainly. “Does it bother you, Clancy?”

  “Unattractive?” He looked stunned. “Why the hell do you think you’re unattractive? You’re more beautiful now than when I first saw yo
u.”

  “It’s very kind of you to say that, but I know—”

  “I’m not kind. I told you I’d always tell you the truth.” His hands cradled her face. “Every day I look at you and see the changes and I’m filled with a kind of wonder. Your skin glows and becomes satin and velvet at the same time. Your hair shines and ripples in the sunlight. Your entire body is ripening like a young tree that blossoms in the springtime. It’s all freshness and beauty and new life.” He looked at her with complete sincerity. “Can’t you see that?”

  “No.” Her eyes were bright with unshed tears. “But I’m very, very glad that you do.” She turned her head and kissed his palm. He was the wonder. How lucky she was to have found him. “Then perhaps you won’t be too embarrassed to stand up with me before a preacher.”

  He went still. “What?”

  “I’m asking you to make an honest woman of me.” She smiled shakily. “If you want to, that is. Kira said she thought you did, but if she was wrong, I’ll—”

  “If I want to!” His face had the same radiant expression she’d seen the day she’d told him of Marna’s prediction about the baby. “Oh, God, yes, I want to.” His blue eyes blazed with joy. “You know damn well I want to marry you.” He suddenly frowned. “Kira didn’t try to steamroll you into it, did she?”

  “No, she merely pointed out that you probably wanted to make the baby legitimate. I find I want that, too.” She kissed him. “I like living in sin with you, but I believe I’ll love being married to you.”

  He drew a deep, unsteady breath. “Tomorrow. We’ll fly to Marasef tomorrow and be married. I’m not taking any chances on you changing your mind.”

  “I’m not going to change my mind. Why didn’t you tell me it was this important to you?”

  “I was afraid you’d run for the hills,” he said. “You were so determined not to marry after your experience with Baldwin. I didn’t want to push you into giving more, when I had so much already.”

  “You’re the one who’s done all the giving.” She smiled, her eyes misty. “We’ll have to see if we can’t change that, starting tomorrow. Now come to bed, you look terribly exhausted.”