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Page 21
He couldn't not feel it.
The tip of his tongue traced over my opening, making my muscles clench. So damn empty. Every inch of me drew tight, my legs shaking. My ass rubbed against the smooth surface of the table. He'd made me so impossibly wet, my pussy swollen and aching. I needed to come more than I needed to keep breathing. When his swift, clever tongue focused in on my clit, it was almost all over. A long, hard suck of it finished me off, tipping me straight over the edge. The freefall was magnificent. The world blurred to white and blood roared in my ears. It was basically an out of body experience. My mouth opened on a silent scream. Such pleasure, such joy.
It took me quite some time to come back down. When I did, Jimmy was standing, busy tearing open a condom wrapper with his teeth. He'd come prepared.
"We good?" he asked.
My breath ... I'd lost it somewhere. No matter. I'd just lie there and glow, my pussy still pulsing with aftershocks. Perfect.
"Lena?" His hint of a smile was so cocky. There was a flash of dimple and everything. But honestly, he'd done such a superlative job on me. It was thoroughly well deserved.
I nodded, giving him proof of life. My mind was still drifting down from the heavens. God. Sex had never quite that celestial before. All he'd done was put his mouth on me, I might not survive more.
Though I'd definitely die happy.
He stared down at me, hands busy rolling the condom over his cock. Before I could rise up on an elbow to get a look, he was positioning himself at my entrance. The slight pressure from the blunt head of his penis made sparkling little shocks break out anew. Baby fireworks. Shivers raced across my skin. He stroked over my tummy, setting his palm against the damp skin, up over the curves of my dimpled thighs, so white and big. All of my insecurities came running on home, despite the lust in his eyes. He was so big and beautiful standing over me.
"You're gorgeous," he whispered, voice ragged.
I couldn't talk, my throat dry as stone. So I just nodded. Surely he had all the permission he needed. I lay there decimated by him, wet and willing.
"It's been a while." A bead of perspiration ran down the side of his face. His shoulders rose and fell furiously, the struggle for control obvious in every part of him. "Want it to be good for you."
I swear my heart up and died at the doubt in his voice. Sometimes, we were more alike than I gave us credit for.
"Jimmy. I need you in me."
Something eased in his eyes and he nodded. "Yeah. You do."
I laughed in surprise.
Then I shut right the hell up. Capable hands held my legs apart and he started pushing in. And in. My pussy lips stretched around him to accommodate his size. Slowly but surely, the long hard length of him filled places I didn't even know existed. Honestly, it wasn't all that comfortable. It'd been a few months since last time, but this was ridiculous.
I wiggled and wrapped my good leg around him, trying to get into a better position. Really, I should have been wet enough after the phenomenal orgasm. "How big are you?"
"You can take me." His tongue ran over his lush bottom lip and his gaze stayed on where we were joined.
"That doesn't answer my question."
He gave me a quick look. "Not like I measure myself."
"That's still not an answer."
"Fuck's sake. Can we not argue when we're having sex? Please?"
"Fine." I stopped watching him over my still heaving breasts and stared at the ceiling. Despite his excessive skills with oral sex, it seemed we didn't match up down below. How sad. At least years from now, when I looked back on this, I'd know we'd tried.
His thumb toyed either side of my still super sensitive clit, making my back bow.
"Careful," I breathed.
He nodded, but didn't look up at me. Apparently our combined groins were just too fascinating. He drew back, before easing into me once more. Then again he slid out, withdrawing further this time, before sinking back in. Each time he did it, it felt better, and he did it over and over again, taking consummate care. The man moved like he was machine, no emotion, face set and eyes focused. Only his hands betrayed him, rubbing up and down my thighs, gripping tight and releasing had enough to leave marks. They could not seem to stay still, too busy exploring my skin. He pressed my knees in hard against him, keeping us as close as could be. Sure enough, eventually tingles started in all of my favorite places, tension building low in my belly. I rarely if ever came twice in the same night. It just didn't happen. But having him inside of me was now a pleasure, not a pain.
"Jimmy," I gasped when he hit something particularly wonderful.
He didn't look up. "Yeah?"
"Do that again." My breasts felt heavy, hard nipples cruelly contained. Bad underwear. I needed to burn my bras.
"What ... this?" His amazing dick did as told, striking me in exactly the right place, lighting me up like I was electric.
"God." My eyes rolled back into my head. "Yes, yes, yes."
"I think you like my cock." He laughed evilly, picking up pace, zeroing in on my happy spot, driving me out of my mind.
"I think I love your cock," I gasped, my butt grinding into the table.
"Damn, you feel good."
He hammered into me in a way that was pure art. Our bodies understood each other perfectly. The fit and feel of him marking me inside, making me whole. Each and every muscle in me drew taut until I was one mindless strung-out mess. Jimmy thrust into me hard and fast while I moaned and groaned in appreciation.
Fuck, he could fuck.
I'd never known anyone like him. No way could I keep my eyes closed, I needed to watch. Skin slick with sweat and eyes squeezed tight, he pounded into me with absolute precision. He was so god-like and glorious it was scary. This had to be a dream. When he opened his eyes, dark of his pupil seemed to have swallowed the pale blue whole. He looked down on me, his heart and mind exposed.
He felt it. I know he did. It was so big, so all consuming, how could he not?
This time when I came, the whole world blacked out. My entire body released in some orgy of mindless ecstasy. Sounds crazy, but it's true. My blood boiled and my brain blanked, every bit of me trembling. He'd turned me into some sex creature, wired just for him. And the payoff was sublime.
I heard a shout, then a warm weight settled on top of me.
We were both panting. The noise echoing, filling the room along with the frantic beat of my heart.
Slowly, I opened my eyes again. The world was still there, despite all internal bodily evidence to the contrary. Endorphins made merry with my whole being. How floaty and totally remarkable having sex with Jimmy was. Give me five minutes and I'd definitely go back for another round. Right now though, he'd earned a break.
"Hey." I stroked his beautiful black hair.
Immediately, he started righting himself. He lifted himself off of me, began dealing with the condom. He tied it off at the end and then tucked his cock back into his jeans, doing up the zip and buttons. I missed the warmth of him instantly.
"Jimmy?"
He didn't look at me.
Between my legs was a wonderful wet mess. The delicious musky scent of sex lay thick in the air. Any money there was a loved-up dumb-ass smile on my face. I couldn't bring myself to care, let alone be embarrassed. He'd made me feel far too good.
"Jimmy?"
"Yeah?" He dumped the used condom and braced his hands beside the sink, staring out the kitchen window.
"Are you okay?"
"Sure. Yeah, no problem."
"Good."
He looked back over his shoulder at me, brows a worried line. "How are you?"
"Fine. Thank you." Man, this was all so very polite. Next we might have toast and tea, and talk about the weather.
Shoulders thick and strained, he said nothing for the longest time. I'd been locked out again. The walls were up. He studied me in silence and I could feel the distance seeping back in between us. First inches, then feet, until entire oceans separated where
I couldn't stand it anymore, the silence was killing me. "What's wrong?"
"You shouldn't look at me like that."
Right. There you go.
My body cooled in an instant, all of the lax and lovely evaporating into thin air. I lay on the table, badly in need of another shower with my hair one giant tangle. The sex creature was gone, dismissed. I smoothed my dress back down over my ravished private parts before rising up. This most definitely wasn't the sort of conversation I wanted to have lying flat on my back with it all on display. Pride mattered.
"I want to fuck you every way I know how," he said. "But you can't look at me like that."
"I see."
"I, ah ... I need some air." He strode to the kitchen door, no hesitation, he didn't look back. But instead he stepped straight out into the cold windy Portland morning without a jacket. He was going to freeze his ass off. And actually, I was okay with that just then.
# # #
My eyes itched though I wouldn't be crying. Stunned seemed the top response. I just ... I couldn't believe he'd walked straight out on me after such magnificent sex. I hadn't clung to him, demanding a ring. There'd been no discussion of babies. All casual sex etiquette had been adhered to.
Like I could help how I looked at him.
I kicked my feet, the clunky med boot swinging back and forth below. There was no sign of him on the back patio. Fuck knew where he'd gone.
"You could have at least helped me get down, you asshole," I yelled, despite him being well out of hearing. "Mal was right, you do no aftercare."
Worst post-coital ever.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The next day the guys were back in the studio. It was a long day of all action stations, or as much action as I was capable of with the boot on. Ev took over the better part of the running around. Jimmy had made himself conspicuously absent the day after our fevered mating on the kitchen table. Whatever part of the house I was in, he was in the farthest point possible away, fuck him very much.
Like sex had been my bright idea.
Today, however, he'd apparently gotten over the episode and had been ready to resume life as per usual. Yeah, right, as if it would so simple after the way he'd behaved.
I ignored him in the morning. I ignored him in the afternoon.
I ignored him upstairs and downstairs too.
Apparently, he did not like this because much scowling ensued. I sure as hell didn't ask him for help with the stairs. With my boot, I could totter around well enough, slow and cumbersome as it was. Stupid Jimmy Ferris and his amazing mouth and penis. Who needed him? Not me, I could look after myself.
That's why god invented vibrators, thank you very much. Masturbation was so much safer. My fingers never gave me this sort of trouble.
Yes, sometime in the past twenty-four hours, cold war had descended. A woman scorned and all that, or a woman denied further access to his dick. Either worked. If I'd been paying him any attention, I'd have seen him giving me odd looks all morning. But since he wasn't even on my radar, it went unnoticed. Mostly. Yep, I was so done with him I didn't even see him approaching once again out of the corner of my eye.
"Lena."
I did not reply.
"Here."
A parcel was shoved beneath my nose.
Ev and I had been sitting doing some work in the lovely comfortable chairs I'd had delivered for outside the recording studio. A brilliant turquoise blue, fuck him very much. Sitting on the stairs got old after a while and I had access to his credit cards so why not? I'd made another purchase yesterday afternoon he didn't know about yet.
But let's not go into that.
The interview with his mother had stirred things right up. With the paparazzi now out in force, camped out front, and the phone ringing off the hook, it hadn't been the greatest day in many ways. Jimmy had all the reasons to be stomping around all uptight and unhappy. I'd switched the phone to silent and concentrated on working my way through the latest buildup of emails. Earlier, I'd made the mistake of answering the door and been bombarded with cameras. They yelled questions at me, pushing and shoving so hard my heart raced, claustrophobia closing in. A couple of security guys had rushed in, driving them back, and helping me get the door closed. Last time I'd make that error. Within half an hour the shot of me looking startled with shitty hair was all over the Internet. An hour after that my mom phoned wanting to know if I was all right. And I was fine, just in need of some Photoshopping. It seemed a good enough time to distract her of the story of my sprained ankle. Only in this version, I'd accidentally tripped on a step. Yes, lying is a bad, bad thing. But no matter my age, I couldn't admit to my mom I'd tried to kick a guy's door down. It did momentarily delay her grilling me about my attendance at my sister's wedding, however. A blessing.
At any rate, I doubted they were getting a great amount of work done inside the recording studio. Everyone seemed distracted, acting either unnaturally chirpy or seriously subdued. Mal had just pounded on his drums for a while and everyone had left him to it. But it was nice they'd gathered around for Jimmy's sake. I'd have been a bastion of strength and support too had he not insulted me and then abandoned me in the kitchen the day before. For the sake of the shit he was going through, I wanted to be all sweetness and light. Then I remembered him walking out on me not two minutes after having him inside me. He hadn't yet said sorry. Therefore, I could not yet forgive.
I'd spent some of the day in the studio taking photographs of everyone (except for Jimmy) with Pam's camera. Everyone loved the photos and Pam gave me lots of encouragement and helpful hints. She said some of them might even make it into the artwork for the next album.
Mine and Jimmy's falling-out hadn't been missed by a soul, certainly not Ev. She'd tried to broach the subject of her brother-in-law with me. I'd given her a grim smile and continued discussing logistics for the upcoming tour. Whatever was or wasn't going on between Jimmy and I was our own business.
I still didn't talk to him on account of cold war protocol.
"Lena, C'mon, take it," he said.
My hands stayed attached to my iPad.
He sighed. "Ev, will you tell her to take the fucking thing?"
"Jimmy, I know you are not dragging me into this fight with Lena because that would be wrong." With a steely smile, Ev crossed her legs. "Wouldn't it?"
Much muttered swearing.
"Ooh, pick me! I'll get dragged into it." Like the loon that he was, Mal jumped over the back of the grey suede couch and sat beside me. "What would you like me to communicate to Lena for you, Jim?"
"Forget it," he growled.
The parcel was retracted. Black ribbon and shredded glossy white wrapping paper started raining on my feet. I knew this due to still refusing to look up at him like the adult that I was. A camera was thrust in front of me, but not just any camera.
"Here," he said again.
"Jimmy said 'here'," Mal reported beside me.
My eyes, they bulged. "That's the same as Pam's."
"Lena said 'that's the same as Pam's'," Mal said.
Jimmy ignored him. "Yeah, a Nikon D4. She said that's what you'd need if you were thinking of getting serious."
Mal gave a low whistle. "Smooth move, Jim. I'm impressed. Nice work on the wooing."
I stared up at him, my mouth wide open. Google had told me exactly how much such a beautiful baby with all the accessories cost. Google had almost made me weep. "But that's thousands and thousands of dollars' worth right there. That's a really expensive camera."
One of his shoulders hitched. "It's for you."
"I can't accept it."
"Pam said if you came on tour with us you can tag along with her some of the time. It'd be like an apprenticeship."
Excitement at the possibilities boggled my mind. "Really?"
"Yeah." With another of his patented pained sighs, Jimmy handed the camera to Mal. Next, he grabbed me beneath the arms and gently pulled me to my feet. "Look, I need you to stop being pissed at me."
"So apologize. That's what you do when you hurt someone's feelings, Jimmy. You apologize."
"I just did."
"No, you just tried to buy me. It's quite different. Saying sorry and meaning it would be an apology," I said. "This is a bribe."
"This gets the job done faster."
My hands fidgeted at my sides. "I can't accept it. I can't allow myself to be bought by you."
"But you want the camera?"
"Of course I want the camera," I said. "But that's beside the point."
"No, Lena. It's exactly the point."
Hushed whispers surrounded us because of course we'd drawn a crowd. These people, being so overly involved in each other's lives couldn't be healthy. I also knew we were being watched on account of the way Jimmy's body tensed up. Beneath the long-sleeved black Henley, his shoulders seemed to thicken.
"Trust me. Nothing about this is easy for me." His gaze darted to either side of me. The hard line of his jaw shifted at what he saw. "Everyone's watching and I'm doing this anyway."
Ev rose to her feet. "Okay, everyone. Be elsewhere, give them a moment."
"I'm the drummer for Stage Dive." Mal set the crazily expensive camera on the seat beside him. "You can't order me around, child bride."
"It's so cute that you think that's still funny, calling me child bride." From her back jean pocket, Ev pulled out her cell. "Am I calling Anne to tattle on you for refusing to give Jimmy and Lena some privacy or not?"
"You wouldn't dare."
Her finger moved across the screen. "Oh, I think I would."
David and Ben chuckled in their manly way, but did as told and went back into the recording studio. They clearly weren't messing with the girl.
A second later, Mal followed. "I do not like you women all being friends. This is not okay."
"And you should tell your girlfriend all about it when you see her tonight. I'd love to know what she says." With a final wave, Ev followed him back inside the mixing room or whatever it was called.
It didn't matter.
Jimmy and I stood almost toe to toe, watching each other warily.
"I bought it for you," he said. "You don't accept it I'm throwing it out. You wouldn't want that would you?"
"That's blackmail."
"Yeah. So sue me."
I crossed my arms. "Say you're sorry."
He groaned. "Lena."
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