Robin Hood 2

by Robert Muchamore

  ‘What are you doing?’ Little John asked, as Robin set down the paintball gun hung around his neck and slid his backpack down his arms.

  ‘We’re past time for toys,’ Robin said, as he ripped out his bow.

  50. UNLEASH THY WEAPON OF DOOM

  Robin had wrapped his bow in plastic so that it didn’t get muddy in the tunnel, and it took several fiddly seconds to undo tape and strip it all away.

  Lyla could have run, but loyally jumped back down on the castle side of the fence when she saw the quad. Azeem threw Freya over her shoulder and tried to move, but a second quad sweeping in from the right cut them off.

  ‘Hands up, forest scum!’ a Castle Guard in combat gear said, as he switched off his quad and swung a rifle strapped to his back around his head.

  Robin stared down his arrow sight as a second guard closed in. His weapon had a huge muzzle with an opening big enough for a man’s fist.

  ‘Do you know what that is?’ Robin asked.

  ‘It fires balls of sticky grey gloop,’ John said. ‘I got hit with one when the Castle Guards extracted me from the forest. They won’t kill you, but they hurt like hell, and they’ll break bones.’

  Robin watched as the guards closed on the three women. Lyla and Azeem knelt, but Freya stayed slumped in the grass.

  ‘Are you deaf!’ the one with the gloop gun boomed, as he jabbed Freya with the toe of his boot.

  ‘This is all being live-streamed,’ Azeem shouted, tapping her helmet camera. ‘Castle Guards have no police powers. We demand you release us or take us to the Forest Ranger station.’

  ‘Knees!’ gloop gun ordered again.

  This time, the other man yanked Freya up. Robin and Little John winced as she screamed in pain.

  ‘She’s got a broken ankle,’ Lyla shouted.

  ‘You’ll have a broken head if you don’t shut your yap!’ the guard with the gun said.

  ‘I’ve got a card,’ Little John told Robin quietly.

  Robin was trying to pick a moment when he could shoot two guards without his comrades getting hurt and was irritated that Little John broke his concentration.

  ‘What are you on about?’

  ‘I have full access,’ Little John explained, as he pointed right. ‘Even if you shoot both guards and get your injured pal over that fence, she’ll be slow. But if you ride those quads out past the animal shed, there’s an access gate Castle Guards use when they go into the forest on horseback.’

  ‘Really?’ Robin sounded doubtful.

  ‘Take it,’ John said, as he took the card out of his ridiculous trousers.

  ‘There’ll be a security log,’ Robin said. ‘They’ll know it’s your card.’

  ‘I’ll say I lost it in the chaos.’

  ‘Will they believe you?’

  John shrugged. ‘I guess that’s my problem.’

  Robin smiled awkwardly as he pocketed the white plastic card and looked back at his target.

  Out by the fence, the guy with the rifle stood directly in front of the three young women, while the other one had now forced Freya to kneel, stretching her broken ankle into an excruciatingly painful position. He’d set the clumsy gloop gun in the grass and was patting Azeem down, stripping her stun gun and the big machete on her belt.

  ‘I can’t stay like this,’ Freya begged, as tears streaked down red cheeks. ‘My foot is twisted. I’m going to pass out.’

  ‘See if I care!’ the guard said cruelly.

  As he moved across to search Lyla, Freya groaned and toppled sideways. Azeem instinctively reached out to grab her friend.

  The guard with the gun shouted, ‘Leave her!’ and moved like he was about to shoot Azeem in the head.

  It was probably an empty threat, but everyone was moving at once and Robin knew he wouldn’t get a better chance. He shot his first arrow, spearing the shoulder of the guard with the gun.

  Azeem had good fighting skills and sprang into action, thrusting a palm under the guard’s chin that made his head snap backwards.

  As she grabbed the rifle, Robin took aim at the other guard. But he didn’t have a clear shot because Lyla had jumped up and lunged for the gloop gun. She snatched it out of the grass, swung it around and shot the guard in the belly.

  The guard was wearing body armour, but from point-blank range the exploding grey putty lifted him off the ground and doubled him up. Lyla barged him down then stood over him, reloaded and shot him again.

  ‘Take some of what you dish out,’ Lyla spat furiously. ‘Pig!’

  Azeem stood with the gun, looking around while keeping a wary eye on the floored Castle Guards. She could hear more quad bikes and she only knew one person who used a bow, but hadn’t seen exactly where Robin’s arrow came from.

  Back in the gazebo, Robin looked around at Little John. ‘I’m only little. We could probably squeeze three on a quad bike if you want to get out of here.’

  ‘Sherwood’s all dirt, bugs and crazy kidnappers,’ Little John said, looking horrified. ‘I’m more use on the inside and I’ll just have to put up with living in five-star luxury.’

  ‘Good to finally know whose side you’re on,’ Robin said, as tears welled in his eyes.

  John didn’t answer because he was welling up too.

  ‘Give Dad my love when you see him,’ Robin said, as he swung his bow over his shoulder and decided he couldn’t be bothered to carry the paintball gun any further.

  He checked there were no more guards closing in and ran out towards the three women.

  ‘Robin, thank God!’ Azeem said. ‘Nice shooting, but have you been crying?’

  ‘It’s the smoke,’ Robin lied.

  ‘Will would have gone crazy if he found out that I abandoned you,’ Azeem said, as she eyed Freya and the fence warily.

  ‘I won’t grass you up if you’re really nice to me,’ Robin said cheekily, then pointed towards the animal shed. ‘We can use the two quads. I have a swipe card that’ll unlock the side gate.’

  ‘Whatever we’re doing, it needs to be quick,’ Lyla said, as she held up a radio she’d ripped off one of the injured guards. ‘The drones spotted us and back-up is on the way.’

  51. GOT RED ON HER EVERYTHING

  Sheriff Marjorie stood in the main hallway of her castle penthouse, wiping a mist of red paint from her brow with a damp towel. Moshe Klein had changed his own trashed suit for a baggy sweatshirt and had never seen his boss angrier.

  ‘You’re my head of security,’ she roared furiously. ‘So please, pretty please, tell me how we only have eleven guards on duty for the biggest event of the year?’

  ‘This has never happened before,’ Moshe said, drawing on army-officer training to look strong, while suspecting that he’d be out of a job whatever he said. ‘As soon as I arrived, I started looking into it. The log says the shift patterns were altered by Nadine in the IT department.’

  ‘Why can someone I’ve never heard of in the IT department alter shift patterns?’ Marjorie barked, as she threw down the towel and started unbuttoning her paint-splattered hunting jacket.

  ‘IT needs to access all StayNet modules so they can investigate faults,’ Moshe explained. ‘I got into work at seven this morning and started calling in extra staff as soon as I saw we were short-handed. But I only made three calls before the emergency siren went off.’

  ‘I’ve been utterly humiliated,’ Marjorie roared, as she threw her jacket down. ‘Richard and John King have taken their helicopter back to the capital. But quite a few of the other guests are still on site, so I think the best strategy is business as normal. The hunt was due to start at nine, but if we shift it up to –’

  ‘Sheriff,’ Moshe interrupted, clearing his throat awkwardly, ‘I thought you’d been told. The AFM drugged all the exotics in the shed. They’re zonked out, probably for eight to twelve hours. There’s absolutely no way we can hunt today.’

  Marjorie hissed and stared at a large vase. She imagined hurling it at a wall, but then remembered that it had cost more than
a family car and stomped the stained towel instead.

  ‘This is going to cost us millions!’ Marjorie said. ‘People come here for a relaxing five-star experience. But from now on, when Sherwood Castle is mentioned, all everyone will think of is a shed full of grubby animals, Lucasta Twist falling on her arse under a hail of paintballs and Robin Hood flipping his middle finger at my security camera as he escapes on a stolen quad bike! I’ll never –’

  Marjorie’s flow was interrupted by the doorbell.

  ‘The damage to my reputation could take years to repair. And as for my chances in national politics . . .’

  The bell rang again.

  ‘Whoever it is, tell them I’m busy!’ the Sheriff shouted to the maid who’d come out of a bathroom to answer the door.

  ‘It’s your son, Miss Sheriff,’ the maid said nervously.

  ‘Let him in!’ Marjorie yelled. ‘Why am I surrounded by idiots?’

  She felt a rare twinge of motherly instinct when she saw Little John covered in paintball splats and his hair all mussed.

  ‘Sweetheart, are you OK?’

  ‘Few bruises where I got paintballed,’ John said. ‘I’ve had worse in rugby training. I rang the bell because I’ve lost my pass. It must have fell out while I was running in these baggy trousers.’

  ‘Moshe, get him a new pass,’ Marjorie said.

  Moshe audibly gasped, because getting Little John’s pass meant he wasn’t being fired. At least not immediately . . .

  ‘Go take a hot shower,’ Marjorie told her son. ‘And try not to worry. The Sheriff of Nottingham has taken bigger hits than this and come out on top!’

  John started unbuttoning his shirt as he walked to his room, but he noticed his mother staring open-mouthed at Moshe, like she was about to say something she didn’t want him to hear. So instead of going straight to his shower, John stood just inside his bedroom door. Fortunately, the hard surfaces of the stone hallway carried his mother’s voice.

  ‘I’ll need to get Darcy from my political office up here so we can put together a damage-limitation strategy,’ Marjorie told Moshe. ‘But first I have to talk to my old friend.’

  ‘Gisborne?’ Moshe guessed.

  ‘Who else?’ Marjorie said. ‘Give me your phone. I can’t have any record showing that I’ve spoken to him.’

  John heard the maid wheeling her cleaning cart into another room. Then his mother talking to Gisborne.

  ‘I’ll come right out and say it, Guy,’ Marjorie began. ‘You were right, I was wrong.’

  John could only guess what Gisborne was saying on the other end.

  ‘Guy, I’m sure you and your homeboys are having a time watching me get hit by paintballs on national news, and I know you enjoy needling me, but I have a dozen fires to put out, so can we skip your hilarious banter?’

  There was a pause while Gisborne said something.

  ‘Robin Hood was your problem while he was causing havoc in Locksley. But he becomes mine when he hooks up with animal-rights nutters and trashes my hunt. My sources tell me you’re putting together a snatch squad to get hold of him.’

  After a pause Marjorie broke into a noisy laugh.

  ‘Guy, I know that, because there are so many sneaks and spies in your grubby little organisation I could probably tell you when you last clipped your toenails. My point is this: the posse you’re sending to capture Robin Hood now has my full support.

  ‘Anything you need: drone surveillance, tracked vehicles, weapons, horses . . . Your men can use the castle as a base and even have Castle Guard back-up if you want it. Just call Moshe and tell him what you need. And now I’m hanging up.’

  Marjorie handed Moshe’s phone back, then grabbed the vase and decided that the morning’s events deserved twenty thousand pounds’ worth of satisfaction.

  ‘Robin Hood,’ Sheriff Marjorie screamed. ‘I hope he rots!’

  The vase crashed into the wall and Moshe shielded his eyes as shards flew in every direction.

  BREAKING NEWS

  ‘Good afternoon. I’m Lynn Hoapili with this special update, live from the gates of Sherwood Castle.

  ‘Shortly before nine this morning, a group of Animal Freedom Militia activists, including Robin Hood, stormed Sherwood Castle in an attempt to disrupt Sheriff Marjorie Kovacevic’s annual trophy hunt.

  ‘In sensational scenes, which were live-streamed by the group, celebrities including pop diva Lucasta Twist, actor Scott Okoye and TV chef Nick Cobb faced smoke grenades and a barrage of paintballs.

  ‘Over a million social-media users have condemned celebrities and businesspeople for taking part in the hunt. There have also been calls to boycott King Corporation products and the new season of Okoye’s hit show, Star Command.

  ‘Also trending is dramatic leaked CCTV footage of Robin Hood and three accomplices escaping the castle compound on quad bikes. But in a written statement the Sheriff of Nottingham’s office has condemned the attack.’

  Text scrolled on screen, as Lynn read it out:

  ‘The Sherwood Trophy Hunt is an annual event that has raised more than £4 million for children’s charities. All animals at Sherwood Castle are supervised by trained staff and kept in state-of-the-art conditions. The footage of animal cages released by the AFM was not filmed within castle grounds and should be considered 100% fake news.’

  52. EVERYONE WANTS TO BE ROBIN HOOD (EXCEPT ROBIN HOOD)

  It was a tough walk back to the mall. The quad bikes were useless in dense forest, so Robin carried as much gear as he could, while Lyla and Azeem hauled Freya the twelve kilometres over tough ground.

  Robin wanted to chill in his den once he’d showered away the grime and eaten a late lunch, but Sam Scarlock told him it was no longer safe and a couple of mall guards carried his bedding to a little rest area at the back of Will’s command tent.

  Robin was tired, but the roof was too hot and noisy to doze, so he played with his laptop, watching all the videos and social-media stuff about the raid.

  It ranged from a hilarious slow-motion GIF showing Lucasta Twist’s expression as she got hit in the chest with a paintball, to articles claiming that Sheriff Marjorie was a national treasure and Robin Hood was a child being manipulated by evil terrorists.

  Robin was proud that he’d become a hero to the kind of folks that people like Guy Gisborne and Sheriff Marjorie liked to dump all over, but it was also overwhelming; he wished it was something he could turn off and go back to being an ordinary kid for a couple of weeks.

  ‘I see the crazy posse hasn’t delivered you to Gisborne yet,’ Marion said cheerfully, as she walked in, holding Robin’s boots by the laces.

  The outsides had been thoroughly scrubbed and the laces loosened so the insides could dry out after being nuked with deodorant.

  ‘You cleaned them?’ Robin said, surprised.

  ‘The heck I did,’ Marion said, disgusted at the thought. ‘Aunt Lucy took everyone’s boots and scrubbed them with disinfectant. They’re still damp, so she says you should leave them in the sun for a bit.’

  ‘Have you seen Freya?’

  Marion nodded. ‘She’s not great. We don’t have an X-ray machine, but Dr Gladys thinks it’s a complicated break that’ll need surgery. They’ll have to use a fake ID and try getting treatment in a government hospital. Somewhere far away, because they’ll be on the lookout for a girl with a broken ankle in Locksley.’

  ‘That’s rough,’ Robin said.

  ‘Are you bricking yourself?’ Marion asked bluntly.

  ‘About the posse?’

  Marion nodded. ‘What else?’

  ‘What’s to be scared of?’ Robin said breezily. ‘It’s just heavily armed, expertly trained soldiers who want to drag me out of my bed and tie me up, before handing me over to a crazy whip-wielding criminal who bears a grudge because I shot him in the balls.’

  ‘No bother at all,’ Marion said, laughing at the joke but then looking worried. ‘Seriously though?’

  ‘Obviously I’m scared,’ R
obin admitted.

  ‘Knock, knock, it’s Will Scarlock!’ Will rhymed, as his head popped through from the main tent. ‘Can you two step in for a chat?’

  As Robin and Marion entered the command tent, they found Indio and Will’s wife Emma waiting for them.

  ‘If your ears were burning, it’s because we’ve been talking about you,’ Will said. ‘We have a big problem.’

  ‘Tell me something I don’t know,’ Robin sighed.

  ‘We keep this mall pretty secure,’ Will said, ‘but I don’t have an army and it’s a huge space. Dozens of entrances, a hundred-and-seventy shops, plus alleyways, sewers, etcetera, etcetera. It’s impossible to defend against a determined attacker.’

  ‘Plenty of hiding places though,’ Robin noted.

  ‘We thought about that,’ Indio said. ‘But you’d hate being cooped up 24/7, and there’s a better solution.’

  ‘I help to run a project in the Eastern Delta,’ Emma explained.

  ‘Swampland?’ Marion queried.

  Emma nodded. ‘The delta is where most of the refugees who end up in Sherwood Forest arrive in small boats. My project distributes aid packages to new arrivals. Maps, food, space blankets, tents. I know a lot of good people in the delta, and nobody will be looking for you out there.’

  ‘Especially if we keep up the impression that you’re still here at the mall,’ Will added. ‘We might even be able to lure Gisborne’s new pals into a trap.’

  ‘Makes sense,’ Robin said warily. ‘How long for?’

  Will shrugged. ‘However long it takes to get this posse off your back.’

  Robin felt a touch sad. ‘I know everyone here now,’ he said. ‘And Sheila needs help with the chickens.’

  Marion laughed. ‘You constantly moan about getting up to feed the chickens.’

  ‘They’ve grown on me,’ Robin admitted.

  ‘Parts of the delta are nice in the summer,’ Emma said. ‘There’s jet skis and fan boats. Great fishing, even a few beaches.’