Taming the Cowboy

by Aarsen, Carolyne

  “Are you trying to convince me, or are you trying to convince yourself?” Kinsley asked.

  Elliot looked her in the eyes. “You know, you threw a lot of questions at me up there on the hill, and maybe you were right, but I’ve had time to think about me. About you. And I don’t think I’m the only one who might not have a complete handle on the future.”

  “What do you mean?” Kinsley asked, his words both thrilling and frightening her.

  “I saw your face when you took those pictures. I saw how happy you were, I saw how much you enjoyed it.” Elliot brushed a strand of hair back from her face, his lips curved in a smile as he did so. “And when I show up, you’ve got your clipboard in your hand, but your camera around your neck. You seem to think I’m chasing the wrong dream for the wrong reason, but I’m wondering if you’re doing the same thing.”

  His words took her own misgivings, her own doubts, twisting them into a shape she didn’t want to examine.

  The past few days, taking pictures, working with them, editing them, had given her a joy she hadn’t felt in a long time. At one time she had flirted with the idea of photography. In fact, her mother had even encouraged it.

  “Jill, my potential future partner, is coming to the wedding,” she said, forestalling and blocking those doubts from settling in her mind. Looking to the future she thought she had a handle on.

  Until Elliot. Until he challenged her like she challenged him.

  Elliot nodded, acknowledging her worries. Then he gave her his signature crooked smile. The one that had the potential to challenge her concentration. The one that made her feel unsteady.

  “From the way Kane has been talking, you’ve planned this wedding so well that you could probably not even show up and everything will go smooth as silk. This Jill lady will be suitably impressed, if that’s what you want.”

  “I want to do a good job for Faith,” she returned, realizing how prim she sounded. But it was true. Yes, she wanted to impress Jill, but more than anything she wanted to help her friend have the wedding she dreamed of.

  And that included taking pictures of the wedding, she realized.

  “And I know you will.” Elliot grew silent, looking at her, his expression drifting into seriousness. He held her gaze, then took her hand in his, looking down at their entwined fingers. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you. Talk to you. Share with you. I’m not used to doing that when it comes to Dennis. I feel like…like all my life I’ve tried to keep the Meacher and the Tye family separate. It was so much easier that way. It’s a habit I’ve carried into adulthood, unfortunately.”

  His admission opened a window into the life he’d been living. Into the struggle he’d been having.

  “You’ve been trying to straddle two lives and two fathers,” she said.

  His smile told her she was dead-on in her assumption.

  “Yes.”

  “But why even spend time on Dennis? Why even give him any control over you?”

  She saw the flash in his eyes, how his mouth opened as if ready to protest. But he stopped himself, nodding as if considering this. “You might be right.”

  Kinsley thought of the wedding dress she had given to Faith. Seeing her friend wearing it felt as if she had cut a major tie with her past.

  “I know it’s hard to reconcile with the past and look to the future,” she said. “But you can’t let the past define you. Find your own way.”

  Elliot stroked her cheek, his eyes softening, his smile easy. His touch sent shivers down her spine. “You should add counselor to your résumé,” he said.

  Then he pulled her close and brushed his lips over hers. “I missed you,” he murmured against her mouth, their breaths mingling.

  Kinsley drifted into his embrace, wrapped her arms around his neck, and let herself leave her concerns behind.

  * * *

  “I now pronounce you husband and wife.” The minister smiled at Kane and Faith standing in the arch, their smiles so wide Elliot thought their faces would break. The sun was in the perfect spot, shining down on them with a benevolent light, creating the perfect setting for a perfect wedding.

  The sun backlit Faith's veil, haloing her face, making her look angelic.

  Kane’s hair shone, his eyes glued to his wife, his shirt stretched across his broad shoulders.

  They looked perfect together.

  All had gone well. The horses had been on their best behavior as Elliot drove the wagon with Faith sitting in the backseat and her grandfather beside her. When they pulled up to the gathering, Elliot could hear a collective gasp of appreciation that made every splinter and blister he’d gotten working on the wagon worthwhile.

  As beautiful as the wedding was, however, watching Kinsley working her cameras made him smile most of all.

  While she took pictures up in the hills with the wagon and the horses, Kinsley kept her distance, but she seemed calm enough. Which made him thankful he had taken the time to acquaint her with the horses. She had even managed a quick smile as she arranged the wedding party around the wagon, frowned, then moved them around again. Despite her protestations, she seemed like she knew what she was doing and it was fun to watch her work.

  But now, as she discreetly walked around the crowd, looking for just the right angle to catch the bride and groom, she was serious, concentrating on what she was doing, hidden behind her camera, snapping pictures of Faith and Kane as they embraced then shared a long kiss.

  The crowd surged to their feet, clapping and whistling. Elliot joined in, truly happy for his brother.

  Kane kissed Faith again, smiling down at her, his love so obvious it made Elliot’s heart ache. The whole ceremony had been moving in so many ways. Faith had composed a song and sang it to Kane, guaranteeing that there wasn’t a dry eye in the gathering.

  Though he had seen Faith and Kane together since he’d come back, now, in this setting, it created a surprising discontent for the direction of his own life.

  You don’t want this. You have other plans.

  But his eyes shifted to Kinsley even as he tried to convince himself of that.

  She was moving back between the chairs, down the makeshift aisle, ready to capture the next few shots. As she walked, he caught her sidelong glance to the woman he had heard from Tricia, was Kinsley’s potential partner, Jill.

  Elliot decided he didn’t like Jill. She looked like she had eaten four lemons, maybe five. Her clothes were even more austere than the ones Kinsley had worn when she first came to the ranch. Her harsh gray hair was short, cropped and the entire service Jill looked at Kinsley as if waiting for her to make a mistake. As if waiting for something to go wrong.

  Faith waved her bouquet in the air, and Marianne, playing an electric piano, changed the music to an upbeat country tune. Faith hooked her arm in Kane's and together they almost ran down the grassy aisle.

  “Should we keep up?” he murmured to Tricia as he took her arm.

  “Let them have their moment. It will give Kinsley a chance to get some good shots before we come,” Tricia said. “But they sure look happy, don’t they?”

  “They do. And you and Mason are up next,” he said as they made their way down the grassy path. The twins had had their moment and were sitting with Zach.

  Tricia grinned. “Yeah. I guess.”

  And again Elliot felt that unwelcome envy. His sister and his brother were finding their place in life and he felt as if he were still floundering.

  The last few weeks it was as if his focus was shifting and changing. He didn’t like how scattered his thoughts had become. And at the end of the aisle, crouching down, snapping pictures, was the reason for his confusion.

  She had two cameras, large lenses protruding from both. He wanted to look over at her. Share a smile.

  Share a moment.

  But she had asked him, before the wedding, to please keep his distance and not distract her.

  So he didn’t wink at her when she set the wedding party up, posed them, asked them to do th
is, that. Climb up on the wagon, come off the wagon. Stand by the wagon. Stand on the bridge. She was brisk and efficient and his admiration for her grew even more.

  He respected her wishes, realizing that it was Kane’s day, and his brother deserved his undivided attention.

  Well, as undivided as he could make it.

  But the wedding was now officially over. Kinsley had taken the posed and family pictures. Now it was time for dinner, short speeches, hopefully, and then a dance.

  And Elliot intended on dancing as much as possible with Kinsley.

  Thankfully Faith had refused to have a receiving line, and instead they all went directly to the tent where Carmen was laying out the myriad plates of appetizers she and Tricia had been working on all afternoon.

  Kinsley was still taking pictures as they sat down at the head table. Elliot wasn’t much of a flower person, but he could see how beautiful and tasteful the centerpieces on the tables looked. Festive, fun, and yet, stylish.

  It had Kinsley’s touch all over it. He hoped that Jill woman appreciated and acknowledged all the work Kinsley had put into this.

  Everyone settled into their places, and Zach stood to give a blessing on the meal.

  “I know I have a chance to make a speech later, but it’s short, so I’ll say what I need to say now.” He turned to Faith and Kane, his expression growing serious. “I’ve had the privilege of watching you two work your way through your lives, make your decisions, and come to this place. Here as husband and wife. It hasn’t been an easy journey for either of you, but I am so thankful that you two found each other again. I’m thankful for the grace of God in your life, how He has watched over you and how, as we just heard, He is here to bless your relationship and your life together. I know it will not be easy, there will be difficulties, but with God’s help, and the support of your family and community, I know you’ll make it. There is nothing more fulfilling than having someone you love beside you. Someone alongside who will share your experiences and memories in a way no one else can. A companion to do life with.”

  To do life with.

  The same words the minister used when he spoke to Faith and Kane in his message.

  He spoke of how wonderful it was to have someone beside you on the journey, someone invested in your happiness and well-being.

  Elliot’s eyes drifted to Kinsley, surprised to see her looking directly at him.

  Was she thinking the same thing?

  What had gone through her head as she watched her friend walk up the aisle in the dress that was supposed to be the one she wore to her wedding?

  Then Kinsley’s mouth shifted into a wisp of a smile. She lifted the camera and snapped his picture.

  He shook his head in warning, and she just grinned.

  Their connection held, and a warmth simmered below his breastbone, spreading, shifting his perceptions. Things were changing between them and that, in turn, was changing him.

  This last rodeo had taken a lot out of him. He used to enjoy being gone, on the road, free. On his own. His life was one steady stream of movement, driving, challenging, pushing.

  But now?

  Now he felt drained. Rodeo wasn’t giving him the satisfaction it once had. Chasing the CFR seemed less a dream and more an ordeal.

  He turned his attention back to Zach who had paused a moment, grief shimmering across his face. “I wish your mother could be here to see this,” he was saying to Faith and Kane. “I know how badly she wanted for her children to find their own place in life. To find peace and shelter from the storms life can throw at us, as, I believe, you two have found. The same thing we wish for all our children.” Zach’s eyes flicked to Tricia then to Elliot.

  Tricia had already found her partner for the storms of life.

  And him?

  Elliot kept his gaze on his father, afraid what would happen if he looked once more at Kinsley. Afraid she would see the yearning for her that was minute by minute taking over his life.

  Zach turned back to the bridal couple as he took a steadying breath.

  “But know that if she were here she would give you the same blessing I am about to give you,” he was saying. Then he lifted his hand toward them in a gesture of blessing. “May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. May the Lord lift His countenance upon you and give you peace.” He paused a minute as if to let the blessing settle on them. “And now I want to pray over this amazing food we are about to eat.” Another pause followed by rustling as the guests bowed their head, waiting. “Thank you, Lord, for Your love, Your guidance, and Your grace. Thank You for bringing Faith and Kane together so we could enjoy this celebration. Thank You for this delicious food that Carmen and Tricia have prepared for us. May we enjoy it, but as we do, may we be mindful of those who have so much less than we do. May we give as we have been given to. Bless our time together. In Your name, amen.”

  A murmured “amen” followed his words, then Zach ceded his place to Nathan Raphel, good friend of Kane’s and Master of Ceremonies.

  Elliot kept his head lowered a moment, Zach’s words settling into his mind. Nourishing his soul. His father was always so sincere in his prayers. They weren’t complicated or verbose. Just words from a heart that Elliot knew served the Lord sincerely and completely.

  A heart that had its own companion in his wife, Grace.

  “Before we start supper, I have something special for the married couple,” Nathan said as the DJ brought over a laptop, trailing cords connected to his soundboard. He and Nathan huddled over the keyboard, frowning, and then a burst of static and feedback screeched through the speakers.

  “Can you see me?”

  The voice that surged from the speakers sent Elliot’s heart soaring. Lucas? Could it be? The last they’d heard from him was an email just after Faith and Kane got engaged.

  “Yeah, we can see you,” Nathan said, grinning over the computer screen at Faith and Kane. They both looked as shocked and excited as he felt.

  And Tricia looked like she was about to leap out of her chair and grab the computer.

  Nathan turned the laptop to face the head table and Elliot’s own heart jumped at the sight of his foster-brother on the screen.

  Which was immediately followed by a gasp of dismay from everyone at the table.

  His face, his handsome, rugged face, was bandaged on one side. One eye was bloodshot, the other covered by bandages as well.

  “Don’t worry, this isn’t as bad as it looks,” he said, grinning. “I can see you all, can you see me?”

  “We can,” Kane said, his voice sounding strangled. “Good to see you, Lucas.”

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there. I wanted to so badly. Nathan tracked me down, and we set this up as a surprise.”

  He shifted, his camera moved back a bit, and Elliot could see that Lucas was in a hospital bed.

  “Are you okay?” Elliot couldn’t help asking.

  “I’ve been better, but the doc at the hospital here on the Kandahar base says I’m on the mend, so that’s good. But I didn’t call for sympathy or attention. I wanted to congratulate you, Kane and Faith, on your marriage. So happy for you guys. And I see that Tricia and Elliot are there too. So sorry I couldn’t come in person.” Lucas’s deep voice trembled a moment, and Elliot sensed his disappointment at not being there with his family. “But I’m glad I could be here in spirit if not in body. Glad that the family could all be together. Dad, Elliot, Tricia, great to see you guys too.” Lucas lifted a hand in greeting.

  Elliot wanted to ask what happened. Wanted to know if he really was okay.

  But this was not the time. He would sit down, tonight, and email his brother. Get more of the details, though given that he was in Afghanistan, Elliot was pretty sure he was injured in battle.

  “So good to see you,” Zach put in. “We pray for you every day.”

  This created a pause, and Elliot saw a variety of emotions flit over Lucas’s face.

&n
bsp; “Well, that’s good,” he said. “We could use all the prayers we can scrounge up over here. Anyway, like I said, this isn’t about me. I’m so glad you two are married now. I'll be discharged in a few weeks, and then I’m coming back. We can connect then and I can…”

  The picture wavered and the sound broke in and out. They caught only bits and pieces of what he said afterward. Finally, after a few more minutes of intermittent sound and frozen video they heard a muffled “goodbye.”

  The picture disappeared followed by a blip sound. The call had been disconnected.

  Silence drifted up as the family realized what had happened to their brother.

  Then Nathan closed the laptop and turned to the head table. “So, that was greetings from Lucas. I’m sure he’ll try to call again, though it took a lot of finagling with time and connections to get that done.”

  “Thanks for that,” Kane said. “It was great to see him again.”

  Though Elliot agreed, the fact that Lucas was injured sat like a stone in his chest. And, from the look of dismay on Zach’s face, Elliot suspected his father felt the same.

  “It was hard to see him like that,” Nathan said, "but he told us to reassure you all that he’s okay. He really wanted to connect with you. He’ll pull through this and hopes to come home soon.”

  “Well, that’s good,” Zach repeated.

  “Okay. We only had a small window of time to catch Lucas,” Nathan was saying, “so we had to put dinner off for a few minutes. But we’ll start with the head table and I’ll make my choices after that depending on how much you’re willing to pay me.” A murmur of polite laughter greeted his comment. “After dinner, we’ll have a few speeches.”

  Elliot rubbed his damp palms against his pants, going over once more what he wanted to say to his brother. It would be fine, he told himself.

  Then he stood and pulled the chair back for Tricia, again far too aware of Kinsley getting her camera ready to take his picture. It was as if every moment in her presence, with her carrying her camera, focusing in on him, created a growing intimacy.