The Maleficent Seven: From the World of Skulduggery Pleasant

by Derek Landy

  She smiled. “Of course I did. I switched it the moment I got into the room, before Earl even knew I was there. Right now he thinks he has the real one and I’ve run off with the forgery.”

  “So, two down,” said Sanguine.

  “Two down,” said Tanith.

  his part of your training is complete,” said Quoneel. “You have done everything that has been asked of you, and here you stand, on the threshold of your new life. Beyond that door is your family. Beyond that door is the world. Are you anxious?”

  “Yes,” she admitted.

  “And so you should be. You are free to cast off the rules and restrictions that we have placed upon you. You are no longer a child. You have had your Surge. You are nineteen years old, a woman, an adult and a sorcerer. You are your own responsibility.”

  “What if I don’t want to go?”

  Quoneel smiled. “You would choose to stay? The others still call you Highborn, do they not? Even though Avaunt has been gone for almost a year?”

  “The name has stuck,” she said, “but it’s lost its sting. When the others say it, it’s meaningless. This is my home, Master. It’s dark and cold and lonely, but... but it’s my home. I don’t know my family any more. I haven’t spoken to my parents since I was eight. I can’t remember what my brother’s voice sounds like.”

  “Your father was a hidden blade before you. All these feelings you’re experiencing, he has experienced them also. As has your brother. They will understand your reticence. I know they are looking forward to seeing you again.”

  “What if I don’t like it out there?” she asked. “What if I can’t live out there?”

  “Then you will return with your tail between your legs and I will laugh at you until your pride forces you back out of that door. You have been an exemplary student, and I will miss our time together, but your lessons are far from over. As a knife in the shadows, you will continue to learn, to improve, to surpass even your own expectations. But first, you need to take a name.”

  “I already have,” she told him. “I took it years ago.”

  Quoneel looked surprised. “And you kept it to yourself?”

  “It was no one’s business but my own, and the others were so happy calling me Highborn that I doubt they’d have changed. My name is Tanith Low.”

  aracen Rue knows things.

  That’s what Dexter Vex was told all those hundreds of years ago before they first met. He couldn’t remember who had introduced them – Skulduggery? Ghastly? Ravel maybe – but when he’d asked what magical discipline Saracen had chosen, he’d been assured that Saracen Rue knows things. That was all.

  Was he a Sensitive? Did he read minds? Could he predict the future? No one knew. Did he know everything? Nope. He didn’t know who this mysterious woman was, for example. He didn’t know if she’d been after the dagger for selfish or noble reasons. He didn’t know how far ahead of them she was. There were just some things he knew – and, in a tight spot, that was very often exactly what was needed.

  Vex had asked, of course. He asked when he first met him, and he asked ten years later, and he asked ten years after that. Once every ten years, in fact, he’d ask Saracen exactly what his power was. And all Saracen would do was smile and tap his nose.

  It was very, very annoying.

  But for every one thing that Saracen knew, there were a hundred he didn’t.

  “So this Valkyrie Cain I’ve been hearing so much about,” Saracen said as they stepped off the jet on to a small Chicago airfield. “What’s she like?”

  The others hurried along behind, each of them carrying a light duffel bag. Apart from Wilhelm, who was lugging a suitcase behind him.

  Vex shrugged as they walked. “Everything you’d expect. Tough. Intelligent. Resourceful. She doesn’t let Skulduggery get away with anything.”

  “More than a match?”

  “From what I’ve seen.”

  “Good,” said Saracen. “Good, he needs that. Needs someone to keep him on the straight and narrow.”

  There was a van waiting for them and they got in the front while the others piled in the back. Vex started the engine and they pulled out on to a narrow road, started driving to the city.

  “How’s he doing, anyway?” Saracen asked.

  Vex’s foot was heavy on the accelerator. “Skulduggery’s Skulduggery − you know how he is.”

  “Yeah. Haven’t talked to him in... must be five years. Last time was a few weeks after he’d killed Serpine. I just called him up to see how he was and he seemed... quiet.”

  “Wouldn’t you be?” said Vex, glancing at him. “He’d been waiting for centuries to get his revenge on that psychopath. He finally gets it and suddenly he looks around and goes, OK, now what? I think Valkyrie gave him purpose again.”

  “So you approve?”

  “Oh, I approve.”

  Saracen nodded. “Good enough for me. Can this thing go any faster?”

  “Don’t know,” said Vex. “Let’s find out.”

  They reached Jackie Earl’s compound two hours later as the sun was dipping to touch the horizon. Gracious and Donegan scouted the area and Saracen went with them. By the time they got back to the van, night had fallen.

  “Any sign of our mysterious brunette?” Vex asked.

  “None that I could see,” said Gracious, “and I was keeping an eye out. Quite a few guards, though.”

  “For an operation of this scale,” said Donegan, “I’d kind of assumed that Earl would have a lot more hired muscle around the place.”

  “It’s still a formidable number,” Gracious added, “but I’d heard they had a vampire somewhere here.”

  “No sign of that,” said Saracen, “but they’re definitely expecting trouble.”

  The Monster Hunters looked at him. “We didn’t see any evidence of that. How do you know?”

  Saracen just tapped his nose.

  “It doesn’t make any difference,” said Vex. “They’ve gone to the trouble of setting a trap, it’d be rude not to oblige.”

  A little before midnight, they got out of the van.

  The Monster Hunters split off from them, and Vex led the way to the main entrance. Aurora used the air to yank the sentry from his rooftop. He landed painfully and Frightening choked him till he passed out. Vex was the first to step through the entrance. The courtyard was quiet. Windows above them on either side, and a door in front.

  “They’re getting ready to spring the trap,” Saracen said softly. “Those windows on our left? Five of them, armed with automatic weapons.”

  “And the windows on our right?” asked Frightening.

  “Five more, but don’t worry. Bane and O’Callahan have it covered. Get ready. The ambush is about to be sprung. Right... now.”

  The gunmen appeared but Frightening’s eyes were already lighting up, and he sent twin streams of white energy into the nearest window. Vex heard a man cry out and then he sent an energy stream of his own into the shoulder of another, saw him spin away as his gun dropped to the courtyard. Aurora raised her hands and the air shimmered, and the three remaining gunmen opened fire. Bullets hit the wall of air, slowed to a stop and hung there. Purple energy crackled in Vex’s hands. When the gunmen paused to reload, Aurora dropped the wall and Vex released the energy, taking out two of them. Frightening’s eyebeams took out the third.

  Saracen looked up at the windows to their right.

  “How are they doing?” Frightening asked, waiting for his sight to return.

  “Two down already,” said Saracen. “Three down. Four. One left.”

  Glass smashed and a man came flying out, crunching to the ground. Gracious appeared at the window, waved down at them.

  “Any idea what’s next?” Vex asked, nodding at the door ahead of them.

  “Five people waiting behind cover,” said Saracen. “Sorcerers. Necromancers, I think. We’ll need to burst through, take them by surprise. But these doors have steel bars running through them.”

  “Wilhelm
,” said Vex, “think there’s a sigil you could use to sort this out?”

  “Of course,” Wilhelm said. He stepped forward, pulling a long piece of chalk from his pocket, followed by a compass, a protractor, a ruler and a set square.

  Aurora narrowed her eyes. “Did you get those from a mathematical set?”

  “Yes,” said Wilhelm. “Best place to get them.”

  “But why do you need them?”

  “Do you know how exact these symbols have to be? Everything has to be precise. If I had time on my hands like that China Sorrows, yes, I could draw sigils without taking measurements and that would be wonderful, but not all of us can be ladies of leisure with nothing to do all day but read books and learn things.”

  Frightening frowned. “Would you want to be a lady of leisure?”

  “That’s not what I... Please, I must give this my full attention.”

  They all stepped back as Wilhelm took out a battered notebook and flipped through the pages. When he found the sigil he wanted, he started sketching a rough outline on the door.

  Aurora looked at Vex. “I thought you said he was practically fluent in the language of magic.”

  “Ah, ah, no, you’re misremembering,” said Vex. “I’m pretty sure I didn’t say practically, and I certainly wouldn’t have said fluent. And if I did, I definitely meant something else. Wilhelm has, I would say, a passable knowledge of the language of magic.”

  “And, in this context, what does passable mean? Workable? Or needs a classroom math set to copy a picture?”

  “I can hear everything you’re saying,” Wilhelm reminded her.

  “I’m aware of that,” said Aurora. “Just keep drawing, there’s a good boy, and try to ignore me as I mock you.” She turned back to Vex. “Seriously? This clown is our sigil expert?”

  Vex shrugged. “He was the only one who made himself available. Remember, I had to assemble this team as quietly as possible. I couldn’t exactly advertise for the post. When Wilhelm came along, I knew he wouldn’t be much good, but he’s better than nothing. Not much better, admittedly, but he has other qualities.”

  “Such as?”

  “He’s quiet. He has manners. He doesn’t speak out of turn.”

  “He has manners? That’s it? That’s what he brings to the table?”

  “Like I said, it’s not much, but it’s something.”

  “It’s barely something. It barely registers. The guy’s inept. Look at him. Look at the way he sticks his tongue out when he draws.”

  “This is actually very demeaning,” Wilhelm muttered.

  “Hush, you,” said Aurora.

  “They’re wondering what’s taking us so long,” Saracen said, eyes on the door. “They know we’re here. They’re getting anxious. Impatient.”

  Frightening took out his sword. “Let them wait,” he said. “They’ll know pain soon enough.”

  “I’m almost finished,” said Wilhelm, wiping out a line with his sleeve and drawing over it.

  “I never doubted you for a moment,” said Vex, then looked at Aurora and spoke more softly. “I actually doubted him the whole time. He’s really not very good.”

  Wilhelm turned. “I’m standing right in front of you. I can hear literally every sound you make.”

  “Wilhelm, please,” said Vex, “this is a private conversation.”

  Wilhelm hesitated, then went back to the sigil. Vex grinned at Aurora and she grinned back.

  A few seconds later, Wilhelm made a final mark with the chalk and started putting his things away. “There,” he said. “Finished.”

  The symbol pulsed once with a grey light, and a darkening rot spread outwards through the wood. When the rot reached the steel brackets of the door, they rusted, started to flake.

  “Here we go,” said Vex.

  Aurora snapped her palms against the air and the rotten door burst apart. Vex was the first into the dark room, followed by Frightening. A shadow whispered by his ear and he ducked and rolled, springing up and slamming into a Necromancer. They went down and there was gunfire and cries and the sounds of breaking things. Vex wrestled with the man, feeling spittle on his cheek as they rolled. He jabbed a finger into the man’s eye and then started dropping elbows. When the Necromancer was unconscious, Vex got up, turned, saw Saracen snap an arm and Frightening break a jaw and saw a Necromancer with a staff running for Wilhelm.

  “No, no, please!” Wilhelm shrieked, and didn’t do anything to stop the staff from whacking into his skull. He crumpled and the staff twirled, gathering shadows, but Aurora pushed at the air and sent Wilhelm sliding away before the shadows turned sharp.

  The Necromancer turned to her and she flicked her hand. The staff flew from his grip, but shadows grew like tightened elastic and it returned to him in an instant. He swung and Aurora ducked, lunged and grabbed him and got a foot behind his and sent him to the ground. She landed on top and hit him until he stopped moving.

  “Everyone OK?” Vex asked.

  “My head!” Wilhelm cried.

  “Everyone else OK?”

  He got a thumbs up from everyone except Wilhelm. Gracious and Donegan stepped in through the ruined door.

  “We intercepted their reinforcements,” said Donegan. “A few mortals with guns. No big deal.”

  “I almost died,” said Gracious.

  “You did not.”

  “I’m traumatised. My life flashed before my eyes.”

  “Your life in reruns would traumatise anyone. You’re fine.”

  Saracen nodded to a narrow stairwell ahead of them. “That leads to Jackie Earl,” he said. “He’s in his office, alone. One man with a gun between us and him.”

  “Then let’s go have a chat,” said Vex. “The rest of you stay down here, keep an eye on these nice Necromancers. If they wake up, kick them until they go back to sleep again.”

  With Saracen behind him, Vex walked up the stairs. They got to a long corridor, and Saracen nodded to the corner up ahead.

  “Hi there,” said Vex loudly. “How’re you doing? Having a good night? Probably not, all things considered. Yeah, we know you’re there. We know you’re there, armed with a... Saracen, what is it?”

  “Some kind of machine pistol,” said Saracen.

  “See that?” said Vex. “We know you’re behind the corner, holding some kind of machine pistol, ready to pop out and shoot us. But you know what we are, don’t you? You know we have magic. You can’t kill us, my friend. Bullets only make us mad.”

  “If you shoot a hole through my shirt,” Saracen said, “I’m going to rip your head off.”

  “Hear that?” said Vex. “He’ll do it, too. I’ve seen it happen.”

  No answer from beyond the corner.

  “We know you’re nervous,” said Saracen. “We know you’ve got a dry mouth. You’re licking your lips right now. And now you’ve stopped. And now you’re looking surprised. No, there’s no one behind you. I just know things. For instance, I know there’s a window opposite you. It’s narrow, but I’m sure you could squeeze through if you really wanted to, and get the hell away from here. You’d have to drop your gun, of course. We can’t let you leave with your gun.”

  “Might be the wisest option,” said Vex. “And no one would think any less of you. We are scary individuals, after all. My friend Saracen here, the one who knows things, he’s technically a monster. He’s ten foot tall and he has extremely sharp teeth and two heads. Do you really want to face that? Really? Better run now, while you still have a—”

  “He’s gone,” said Saracen.

  They walked to the corner. On the ground beneath the open window was a machine pistol. They passed it, walked to the door at the end of the corridor. Vex waited for Saracen to give him the all-clear, then he opened the door and they walked in.

  Jackie Earl sat in his swivel chair, both hands flat on the desk. To his right was a bottle of whiskey. “I don’t want no trouble,” he said.

  Vex raised an eyebrow. “Some of your boys tried to kill us j
ust there.”

  “You broke in. This is private property. They were just doing their jobs. I hope you didn’t kill any of them.”

  “Hard to say,” said Vex. “But I don’t think so. Not even the Necromancers. That’s quite a thing, you know, having Necromancers on your payroll.”

  Earl shrugged. “You got to be competitive if you want to stay in business.”

  While Vex wandered around the office, Saracen sat opposite Earl. “Can I ask you something, Mr Earl? It almost seems like you were waiting for us, like all this was an ambush that didn’t quite go according to plan.”

  Earl shrugged. “My boys are always ready, what can I say?”

  “But this is quite a large compound,” Vex said from behind him, forcing Earl to look round. “And you only have a handful of goons with guns? I’d heard you had a small army in here, and I’d even heard rumours of a vampire. And while you do have five unconscious Necromancers downstairs, I saw no vampire tonight.”

  “Cutbacks,” said Earl. “Had to let the vampire go.”

  Vex completed his tour of the office, ended up standing beside Saracen’s chair. “You know why we’re here.”

  Earl remained impressively impassive. “You’re thinking of getting into the mobster business and you want some tips?”

  Vex smiled. “Where’s the bow, Mr Earl?”

  “What bow? I don’t know what you’re—”

  Without taking his eyes off Earl, Saracen nodded to the wall to their left. “It’s behind there,” he said. “Hidden compartment. Circuitry runs across the floor to the desk.”

  Earl paled.

  “Would you mind?” Vex asked. “Just press the little secret button like a good chap.”

  The mobster hesitated, then reached under his desk.

  “Be careful you don’t accidentally knock against the gun that’s hidden down there,” Saracen said. “Wouldn’t want it to go off by mistake.”

  Earl’s jaw tightened, then he moved again, very slowly, and there was a loud click from the wall. Vex walked over, got his fingertips behind a large painting and pulled. It swung open, revealing the compartment. He lifted the bow clear, feeling the power that practically made the thing vibrate. There was a quiver of arrows in there, and he took that, too.