by C. S. Moore
“If I fight, he hurts me. He’ll hurt you too. I’m scared, Amanda. You should leave before you can’t. Once he took me I never could leave,” Kaedin said, letting the ball of light fade.
Abducted? Too many times scenes like these weren’t abductions, but the child’s own family.
“He took you?” she asked.
Kaedin nodded, then wiped her eyes.
“Well, you weren’t his to take, let’s go tell him so.” Her small hands covered her face, and she shook her head furiously.
“You’re special and pretty and strong. Let me hear you say that,” Amanda said.
Kaedin obediently uncovered her tear streaked face. “I’m special and pretty and I am strong,” she repeated doubtfully.
“People love me,” Amanda prompted.
When Kaedin didn’t repeat the words, Amanda looked over at her and cleared her throat. This made the child attempt a smile, though her face didn’t seem used to the action.
“People love me,” Kaedin repeated.
Amanda reached over and squeezed her small hand. “I love you,” Amanda said with meaning.
“I love you,” Kaedin quickly said, making Amanda smile. “No, you don’t have to repeat anymore,” she said.
“I wasn’t repeating. I just love you. Ever since you walked through that wall, I’ve felt safe. Like maybe, he can’t hurt me anymore. I never felt that way before,” the child said, looking up to her, though she couldn’t see.
“Are you okay to stand up?” Amanda asked.
Kaedin jutted out her chin as if it were a rude question. “Of course I can stand up.” She squirmed off the bed quickly and stood next to Amanda. “Now what?”
“You tell me. You’re the boss here. What is it you want to do?” Amanda asked.
Kaedin thought for a moment. “Well I always wanted to scream just as loud as I could and not stop until I’m just too tired to keep on screaming,” Kaedin said in a rush.
“Okay let’s do it together,” Amanda said, drawing in a breath.
“No! No, no. Frank will hear and he’ll come get us,” the spirit said frightfully.
Amanda closed her eyes and searched the Scar. She could feel Frank. He was strong, because Kaedin’s memories of him were so powerful, but she was more resilient than the mirage. He wouldn’t be able to overpower her. She was so much tougher now, compared to when her first Scar had taken her. Of course, she had been barely more than a baby then.
Amanda concentrated harder and could feel the physical presence of the Demon hiding in shadows throughout the house. She opened her eyes and noticed her silence had frightened Kaedin.
“It’s all right, I’m stronger than Frank. Remember, I have magic,” Amanda said.
“You’ll stop him from hurting me, right?” Kaedin asked grabbing hold of her hand.
“Right, Frank isn’t stronger than the love I have for you,” Amanda told her.
Amanda knew Kaedin could feel her love, something the small child hadn’t experienced in some time. So, she took in a deep gulp of air and started screaming at the top of her lungs, holding nothing back.
Immediately, Frank was at the other side of the door. “You stop that. Stop it, or I’ll get the bat again!” he shouted.
He was fierce, but she kept him out of the room easily enough. The tormented spirit paused for a moment at his threat, and Amanda squeezed her hand in encouragement. Kaedin smiled at her and started shouting words that she had given her.
“I am special, I am strong!” she screamed.
Amanda could already see the change. She also sensed the leach demon growing angry. He wasn’t quite ready to leave. Amanda took comfort in the fact that Kaedin didn’t require much. She was such a resilient spirit all she needed was to have someone who wanted to help her. Someone who believed her, and now she had it. Frank beat at the door with more ferocity, and Amanda squirmed. It was getting harder and harder for her to hold him back.
“People love me!” Kaedin cried.
With every shout, Amanda could feel the little spirit healing. Soon she would be free. Amanda sensed the dark energy pulling before she saw it and drew up her strength. She’d need it. “Find someone else to feed off of, scumbag,” Amanda said.
At her words, all of the shadows left their hiding places.
Dark grey wisps crept out of corners, and seeped up out of the floorboards. Even Amanda and Kaedin’s own silhouettes abandoned them, turning to tar and bonding into a mass of darkness. The small room was unnaturally bright. All of the shading was gone from their natural spaces and standing in a heaving blob before them. At that moment, Amanda was glad for Kaedin’s blindness.
“I wasn’t yours to take!” she shouted.
The blackness moved in a rush, squeezing under the shabby door and into Frank. The demon had found a place to gather strength. Still holding Kaedin’s hand, Amanda dropped to her knees, unable to remain standing. She searched inside herself, looking for more power. She shut off everything in her body that was expending energy and focused it on to the door. Everything she had in her small frame held the beast back. If Kaedin felt frightened, it would be nearly impossible to free her.
It beat at the door with more fervor than Frank had. Amanda’s confidence shattered as she realized it was stronger than her. A sound ripped out like the call of thunder as the door disintegrated into a shower of splinters. Kaedin began screaming, not in power, but in fear. Amanda lay beside her, blind and deaf to the scene around them. Frank’s body, bulging and discolored by the demon within, began its disjointed journey across the room.
“Amanda, wake up! Amanda, please, use your magic,” Kaedin pleaded.
The power of the demon was too great for her, and it took all she had just to keep conscious. Amanda could feel the darkness pressing down on her, urging her to return to where she belonged. The temptation was usually too much for her. The sweet promises of her frightened subconscious made it so easy to give up, without even realizing she had.
No, not this time! Kaedin can’t possibly wait any longer. Who knows when this Scar will find another Healer? The demon has so much of her life already.
The creature was upon them, wearing an inhuman smile that stretch Frank’s face into a grizzly mask of terror. He opened his mouth wide, and Frank’s skin, stretched too tightly, split open. Tissue dangling, the monster began raining torrents of blood onto the floor. Amanda could feel the delight the creature took in the gruesome scene. It stepped closer to them, becoming larger and more grotesque. Yet, Kaedin remained kneeling by Amanda’s side. She could sense the spirit’s fear and heard Kaedin’s whispered prayer. Amanda’s heart swelled with love as she found both the fear and the prayer were for her. The demon paused in its approach, sensing the change in Amanda. She took advantage of the demon’s hesitance and sprang to her feet, throwing Kaedin behind her.
“Don’t be afraid, it can’t hurt you. You are strong!”
Kaedin took a step forward, brow knitting together in determination. “I am strong!” she shouted.
Amanda felt that strength and threw up a protective shield between them and the demon. The dark creature attempted to move forward but was unable to get a step closer. It pushed against the invisible obstacle several times but couldn’t weaken the blockade. Frank wilted to the floor, the dark mass leaving him.
It knows that it has lost. She’s free. Amanda turned to look at Kaedin.
She’d never seen a spirit so bright. Kaedin smiled at her like it was natural for her to smile as she had before she’d been taken.
“You can’t hurt me anymore!” Kaedin screamed out.
The room felt light, warm, and the air tasted sweet. Amanda noticed the nightstand begin to shine, and the shimmer spread across the room. She looked up at Kaedin and smiled, knowing this was the time to say goodbye. Amanda was glad they’d met. She was forming the words when Kaedin’s face dropped back into a veil of terror.
Amanda spun around, but she was too late. The dark mass of shadows was upon her, mo
uth thrashing. Its jagged teeth sunk into her side, and she was immediately searing in pain. The demon’s poison rushed through her veins and set them on fire. It shook its head furiously, sending black tar splattering across the floorboards. It flung its head powerfully before releasing her. She flew through the air and slammed against the far wall. Amanda bounced off the plaster and landed on her face, unable to catch herself.
She tried to move her arms, but they wouldn’t obey.
Through her tears, she could see Kaedin on the floor, eyes closed and rocking herself.
“Kaedin, you can do this without me. Be strong, be brave, move on.” Her heart sank when she realized she wasn’t talking. She couldn’t speak either. Darkness was taking her. The scene began to dissolve around the edges until the only thing left was Kaedin’s tear-soaked face, and then that too was gone. Amanda knew she was dying, but her heart’s last prayer was for Kaedin.
Someone free her. Don’t let her fade.
“I DON’T KNOW! I’VE NEVER seen anything like this before,” a willowy teen girl with long golden hair cried out.
“They’re rare, and you’re young. Myself being the opposite, I’ve seen these marks before. I know how she got them. I just don’t understand…” The thin older women with cropped graying hair paused.
“What?” Nell asked.
“I’ve seen them, but they’ve always been on dead bodies. I’ve never seen a living person bear them.”
Was she still alive? No, she couldn’t be. She found the mere idea ridiculous, having already come to terms with her death and her eternal sentence. Amanda could still feel the Hell fire burning her insides. Scorching all that had once been pink into a charcoal black.
This was right. This was fair. She should be in Hell after all of the spirits she’d failed. Why did she have to run away? If she’d just accepted who she was at the Dredging age, she would have been properly trained, instead of being a seventeen-year-old novice. She could have saved Kaedin.
She choked on emotion as her mind brought up a picture.
The last image she had witnessed as a living-breathing person was Kaedin holding herself tightly. Her sweet face turned upward wearing the most pained expression she’d ever seen. She didn’t think a person could convey such torment with one look, one expression. She kept tracing and retracing the lines of Kaedin’s small face, the creases in her forehead, the tears on her cheeks, and those haunting blue eyes. Her heart was broken, not because she was burning in Hell, but because she’d witnessed a spirit being broken today.
She couldn’t hold the demon off long now. she was easy prey, as is anyone with no hope.
“Amanda, come back to us. Don’t linger in the darkness a moment longer.”
Amanda could just make out muffled words reaching out to her. The voice sounded like it was at the far end of a tunnel.
“Amanda Sarah Cates!” The voice was becoming clearer.
“Wherever you are, get your skinny rear back here now! S-B my dear, don’t leave me.”
That really is Madgie!
Madgie had called her S-B since she was a kid. She thought it an odd nickname since S-B wasn’t even close to her initials. Six months after the nickname was established, she’d finally felt comfortable enough around her mentor to ask her about it.
“So tell me, why S-B?” Amanda asked.
Madgie threw a thin arm around her before replying. “It stands for sugar beet,” she said, smiling.
“Sugar beet, huh? I’m not sure that you’ve given me the right nickname,” Amanda said.
“Sure I have. Sugar beets are something sweet that God decided to hide in a layer of dirt. And that’s you to a tee,” Madgie said.
Amanda snapped out of her reverie when she heard another voice. When this new voice spoke, it was nearly too soft to hear.
“Amanda?” Nell whispered.
Her eyes shot open, making Nell shriek.
“Oh, dear,” Madgie shouted, clutching her chest.
“I have to go back!” She was surprised to find her voice actually hanging in the air.
As she attempted to sit up, she realized her limbs where still of no use to her. “Has it moved yet, Madgie?”
Her mentor was speechless staring wide-eyed at her. Still as a statue, Madgie looked as if she were bracing for a rattlesnake to strike.
“Has the Scar moved yet?” Amanda shouted.
Madgie’s shoulders loosened two notches. She had always been dreadfully impatient, and Madgie seemed satisfied that she was in fact herself and not some creature set upon their destruction. “You watch your temper, Amanda Sarah. Nell is here,” she said shortly. Amanda’s eyes stretched wide in anger, which usually amused Madgie. “Yes, the Scar has moved. Are you all right, S-B? Is your head hurt, are you thinking clearly?” Madgie asked.
It had moved. She realized. Her blood felt like lead in her veins, weighing her down, and she didn’t know if she would ever get up.
Kaedin would fade. Her spirit would be dead before she ever found peace, she thought. Tears began to fall freely from her swollen eyes. Amanda gave herself over to the screams of pain that had been waiting to come forth, only stifled by her will to save Kaedin. Madgie’s thin eyebrows shot up. Amanda could just make out Madgie’s hushed words to Nell over her own cries.
“I’ve seen her fail other spirits. She’s always come out more broken but not weeping.”
“Really? What about when she was little?” Nell asked.
“I was there when Amanda first came to the Hovel in the Dredging. Almost all of the other children cried for their mothers, but not her. I’ve never seen her shed a single tear.”
“Not even when you told her…”
She choked on the end of her sentence, but Amanda knew what she was asking. Healers couldn’t have children because they were always being pulled into Scars, and only they can exist on that plane. So, a pregnant woman would lose her child unless it too was a Healer, which was a million to one shot. Of course, there were strict rules about men and women not having any type of relationship other than friendship to prevent constant miscarriages. Nell had mourned the loss of her future family harder than anyone. The poor thing’s only dream in life had been to be a mother, and she would have been a natural, but would never have a chance to be one.
“I had to explain it to her a little earlier than you. She and Cole were so tightly bonded at a such a young age. I didn’t want to see her get in trouble for being too close with him.” She paused and took a deep breath. “When I told her she couldn’t be married or hope to have a child, a life beyond her own, she didn’t speak with anyone for a week, but she didn’t cry.”
Amanda thought back to that conversation, and the agony she was feeling doubled at the memory of the heartbreak. Her sobs became so violent they shook her entire body.
“Go find out what is taking those nurses so long!” Madgie shouted.
Nell was out of the double doors before the request was complete.
Amanda forced back the screams and tears. Find her. Could she find her? She hadn’t ever heard of it being done, but that didn’t mean anything. There was so much she didn’t know about her own world. Sometimes she wondered if the Ancients were the only ones who knew everything about their existence. She just needed to get her head back on straight. This was difficult, considering the amount of pain she was in. She looked over at Madgie. Her face was unusually readable, anxiety plain on her face. Amanda cleared her throat, which felt raw.
“Healers for the Healer, don’t you think that’s a bit redundant?” She was trying to take away the line of worry
Madgie wore between her eyebrows, but her shot at humor had no effect.
Madgie spoke in a whisper, “There is no reason to be frightened. The Ancients have been called. They’ll know how to fix you up.” The tone of her voice made it clear Madgie wanted to believe the Ancients could solve any problem, but her words didn’t comfort Amanda.
“It’s just best to go through life never having to me
et the Ancients.” That’s what Madgie had told Amanda the one time she’d questioned her about them. Now she was hoping they could help. I must look pretty awful… the screaming probably didn’t help, she thought, kicking herself for concerning her friend. She looked up and saw Madgie’s unfocused eyes and distant expression. The poison ripping through her made her thoughts jumbled and broken. It would be hard to question Madgie with any kind of success, but she had to try.
“Madgie since you haven’t drilled me with questions since I came to, I assume you know what happened to me in that Scar,” she said plainly.
Madgie snapped out of her far away thoughts and looked at her. “I know where these marks came from, but I don’t know exactly what happened to you in there.”
These marks? They’d said something about marks earlier.
She was still in a semi-frozen state, but she attempted to look down at her stiff body, which had been stripped completely naked. Her first instinct was to cover up, but her dead limbs where of no use. Unable to move even slightly, she could just make out her curves, but that was more than enough. The ominous marks were covering every inch of her once beautiful body. Her eyes strained to focus and make a clear picture, but without the ability to lift her head, it was impossible to see herself.
“Madgie, could you get me a mirror?” Amanda asked. Madgie knitted her thin eyebrows together.
She took her pause as a bad sign and spoke a bit louder. “Madgie, get me a mirror, please.”
Madgie left for a moment and came back with a petite wall mirror clutched in her hands. Madgie, who was never unsure about anything. Amanda wanted to know what she was dealing with. She cared little about looks but didn’t want her appearance to hinder her. It would be much harder to travel the world looking for Kaedin’s Scar if she didn’t look like a normal person. Madgie stepped tentatively forward, and after a few tries, she had the mirror angled so Amanda could see herself.
After she came to grips with the fact that her eyes looked like the devil’s own, she studied her body. Her entire left side was a dark bruise. Though it looked like none she’d ever seen. It was too black, and the colors within it swirled and danced like an oil slick on the surface of a puddle. The living contusion stretched across Amanda’s belly in thin waving fingers until it tucked back under her right side. The bruise made sense. She remembered the demon sinking its teeth into her skin and tossing its head back and forth like a crazed animal. She didn’t understand the rest of the marks covering her body, black marks running in every direction tracing every vein. It looked like her heart was circulating tar.
