Always and Forever: Rugby Brothers, Book 3

by Tiara Inserto

  He managed a nod, but his body wouldn’t move. He raised his hand to acknowledge the welcome, but sharp eyes from the front row weren’t fooled. She studied him from across the room, concern somehow being shown without a word or a touch.

  How did she know he wasn’t all right?

  As soon as Alistair made his final comments, signaling the end of the meeting, Eden moved swiftly through the crowd.

  “Hey,” she whispered, putting a cool bottle of water in his hand. She reached across him, giving a playful slap on Tom Harris’ arm. “You, Mr. Harris, have yet to turn in your claims from your summer expenses. I need them pronto.”

  “Didn’t I? Couldn’t you just print—”

  “No,” Eden said firmly. “You know Alistair likes a personal spreadsheet to ensure the numbers reconcile. Will you drop it off at my desk by the end of the day? I need to go over more forms with Mano.”

  She continued to stand next to his seat, in the aisle, and seemed to be redirecting people away. With shaking hands, he unscrewed the bottle and downed the water. The pounding receded to a buzzing that eventually disappeared with the emptying auditorium. He bent over, resting his elbows on his knees, then massaged his temples.

  Not too long ago, when frazzled thoughts accompanied anxious questions, he would turn to prayer. No longer. He stayed away from what was once a regular part of his life. He wasn’t ready to return to that, aware of how angry he was at God. He accepted that Margot didn’t want him in her life, but the desire to blame someone, anyone, continued to burn from within.

  The pain kept him from being numb.

  “Mano? Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.” No.

  “You looked a little dehydrated.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Maybe you should—”

  “I’m fine.”

  “I have some aspirin in the office—”

  “Do you have to be everyone’s mother? I’m fine!”

  His rebuke echoed through the auditorium. It silenced whatever conversations there were. All eyes were on them; hers were on his. But the concern that was there a few seconds ago was replaced with sadness…and a touch of pain.

  Her slight touch on his shoulder sent a shiver down his back. “I’m glad you’re fine,” she said softly then moved away.

  He leaned back in the chair, aware that no one wanted to approach him now.

  It wasn’t as satisfying a feeling as he thought it’d be.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Eden scrunched her face at the spreadsheet in front of her. She tried to combat the growing trepidation from within with disgust but failed. She was scared. Her new reality would be determined by whatever numbers popped up after she pressed the “calculate” button.

  She groaned when she saw the total, highlighted in blue, as if the cool colors could mask the precariousness of her situation. She wasn’t in danger of being homeless but….

  It had made sense three weeks ago. But that same spreadsheet didn’t anticipate a cracked windshield, Aidan’s bike being stolen, or hiring extra babysitting with both her dads doing double duty taking care of Grandma Mattie.

  “No more surprises, please.” She clicked onto a different tab and studied the calendar she’d created when SwimUSA released the cut times for Nationals. She now had concrete goals to aim for. They had lowered the qualifying times further, so it wasn’t one point two seconds she had to drop for the 50 meters free but two point one. The cut time for the 100m was three seconds faster than her current PB. Not impossible.

  But she wasn’t twenty anymore.

  Eden pushed away from her dining table. Supporting the back of her neck with one hand, she grabbed the still-warm mug of almond milk and headed to the balcony. The fog had moved in early in the afternoon, cooling the night significantly. No staring at the sky and counting the stars tonight. Just a dark blanket of black above her.

  Not that the absence of stars was noticed. Her mind returned to the calendar, wondering which meet would give her the best chance. Neither were ideal: San Luis Obispo was only five weeks away. She’d developed an efficient taper of two weeks prior to the last meet. It was Brandon’s turn to watch Aiden that weekend. Because of the proximity of the meet, a healthy number of swimmers from both Berkeley and the Beavers were pooling resources to rent houses for the meet.

  San Luis Obispo made sense financially.

  She just wasn’t sure if she could get her body ready in time to drop her time.

  The next meet she could see herself preparing for was in Mesa. Next year. That meant her budget would need to stretch even longer without a fulltime job. But Mesa would give her more time to prepare; perhaps optimize her diet further; there’d be opportunity redesign her training in the gym and in the pool. And she could explore using a longer time for tapering, which Jordan suggested might work in her favor. She sighed.

  It had been a month since she gave notice to cut hours at work.

  I can make this work; I know I can!

  But she was restless. She glanced at the wall clock. It was just past nine. She went inside and knocked gently on Aidan’s door. “Bud? I’m just going for a walk, okay? I’ll have my phone.”

  A muffled response indicated he had heard her.

  She grabbed her jacket, phone, keys, and a small flashlight, then ran down the stairwell with a sudden burst of energy fueled by an unknown source of emotion. Frustration? Anxiety? Fear?

  She zipped her jacket up and pulled on the hoodie when she reached the ground floor. Once outside of the security gate, she decided to follow the trail that led to the college. Newly installed solar lighting kept the path from being too dark, and she knew Campus Safety had started bike patrols down the path in response to more students taking night classes.

  She glanced up one more time at her apartment. Aidan’s lights were still on. On a different night, she would have insisted he be ready for bed. But fifteen minutes late wouldn’t hurt tonight. She’d rather he stayed awake while she was out of the apartment.

  I’m an adult; I can do this!

  But falling asleep had become a little harder to do this past month.

  Adding to the waves of unexpected events was the abrupt exchange between her and Mano at the department meeting. With her new work schedule, she had barely seen him on campus. Twice, and from a distance. She hadn’t spoken to him once. A part of her was grateful their paths hadn’t crossed. The other part hadn’t forgotten the feel of his back when she’d touched him.

  Solid.

  But his words had hurt. Not because they were untrue—she did tend to mother everyone who came into the Athletics Department—but because he didn’t want her “mothering.” Word through the grapevine (aka, Jackson) was that he was settling in with the rugby staff, and the student-athletes enjoyed his presence both on and off the field. She did notice on the admin’s log that Brett McKenzie had seen Alistair twice already this past month.

  Eden dug her fist deeper into the pockets of her jacket and increased her pace. It wasn’t any of her business. She didn’t give up fifteen hours of precious work hours and money to dwell on goings-on that Sarah was now in charge of. However, her ambition to not think more about Mano Palua wasn’t aided by her son.

  Mano was the one topic Aidan was willing to talk about. He and Matthew had begun throwing—or was it tossing? —the ball around with Mano for a couple of weeks now, and Aidan had nothing but praise for the coach.

  “Hey!” The warning from the unexpected body came too late.

  She wiped her mouth then spat. Cold grass tasted…cold.

  “Eden?”

  “Mano?”

  His hand stretched in front of her, reminding her of the indignity of her present situation. She ignored his offer of assistance. She rolled over before pushing herself off the ground, brushing away any grass or dirt. At least the sprinklers don’t come on until the morning. The last thing she wanted was to walk in front of Mano Palua with wet spots on her butt and chest.

  “Are you all
right?” He was still partially hidden in the shadows. “I didn’t see you. What are you doing wandering out here on your own at night?”

  She returned her now trembling hands to the confines of her pockets. “What are you doing out here by yourself at night?”

  He paused as if surprised by her question. “Running.”

  “Well, good to see you again.”

  She’d taken a few steps when he called out, “Neither of us saw each other on the trail, and I’m a friend. What if you bump into someone not so friendly?”

  “We’re not friends,” she said hurriedly, continuing her walk. A few seconds later, he spoke again.

  “I’m sorry.”

  His voice was loud and clear; she couldn’t pretend she didn’t hear him. She wanted to keep walking, to pretend their late-night encounter didn’t just happen. But he is helping Aidan. She could ignore him professionally but not personally.

  He was suddenly behind her. “I’m sorry. I was rude the other day.” He sighed loudly. “Eden? Will you turn around?”

  That meant she’d see him again. The last time she’d met his eyes, they were full of derision.

  “Please?”

  She inhaled, tempted to punish him now that he’d apologized. She hung her head, took another deep breath, and turned around. “It’s fine, really.”

  “I also didn’t thank you for…uh…looking out for me at the general meeting. Your intervention helped me calm down quicker. How did you know?”

  She looked up. No derision but there wasn’t much she could read in those dark eyes either. “I didn’t. You just didn’t look comfortable.”

  “Let me walk with you.”

  “No.”

  He then made a slow study of their surroundings before returning his gaze on her. “There isn’t anyone around, Eden.”

  “I’ve done this walk many times by myself. It’s safe.”

  “Is Aidan alone?”

  “Our neighbor is home, if there’s an emergency. He knows to get hold of her.” She shuffled her feet. “Look, there’s no need to be a hero here. I’m just going for a short walk. Needed to get some fresh air. Campus Safety is around. Thanks for the offer, anyway.”

  He studied her, his eyes never leaving her face. Even in the coolness of the night, she felt a warmth radiate under his intense scrutiny. “How about a compromise?” he said cautiously. “I’ll stay here until you get back. In twenty minutes? Just so I know you’re okay.”

  “People don’t say ‘no’ much to you, do they?”

  One corner of his lip lifted, and for a split second, Eden forgot she was still annoyed at him.

  “Let’s just say only a handful of people do.”

  She snorted at the hubris behind that statement, but she didn’t doubt it was true. She looked around her. It was quiet and getting darker by the minute. “Listen. It’s a free country. Stay here and wait; walk with me. I don’t care.”

  He nodded then gestured for her to lead the way. He seemed lost in thought, content at the space of silence that stretched between them. She kept her pace, which was usually too fast for most people, but Mano didn’t seem hampered by it; his long strides kept up with hers so casually. His bulk belied a gracefulness she hadn’t noticed before. Jackson had said he was working out with the team in the gym and outdoing most of them. Her gaze lingered on his biceps, the lack of light not hiding their size.

  “So…you run much?” she asked. Inside, she cringed at the question and decided to keep her attention on the spotlight her flashlight provided as they walked.

  “Old habits die hard. Helps clear my mind.”

  She told herself not to say anything more, but she was never very good at listening to that particular voice. “Um…how are you settling in at work?”

  “You don’t have to be polite to me, Eden.”

  But the dam had cracked. “No, I am interested. Because Jackson can’t stop talking about you. Aidan can’t stop talking about you. Patty can’t stop talking about you. And Mrs. Henderson even emailed me saying she got you to agree to go to book club next month and that I should go, too.”

  “I’m not going to book club.” His voice was calm, not irritated. “I thought you just wanted to get some fresh air, and I didn’t think you wanted to have a conversation.”

  “But Mrs. Henderson said—”

  “Eden, you seem nervous about something.”

  You. She laughed too loudly. “No! Of course not.”

  “The meet in San Luis Obispo?”

  She stopped in her tracks. “How do you know about the meet?”

  “Aidan wants to see you swim, but he tells me he’s supposed to spend that weekend at his father’s.”

  “He told you that?”

  “Yeah. He’s torn between having time with his dad and wanting to see you qualify for Nationals.”

  “Is he? He hasn’t said anything to me.”

  They had reached the quadrangle in front of the chapel. Draped with light, it was a literal shining point for the campus. Soft laughter drew her attention to the shadows. A couple in a tight embrace only cemented the romance of the location. Mano followed her stare.

  “Tom Harris said this was one of the original buildings on campus,” he said quietly.

  Eden nodded. “The story is that the nuns ran into this chapel as the fires came. There was only one road leading out of here at that time, and it was blocked off already. The miracle was the fire burned around them, leaving the chapel and its occupants safe.”

  Mano whistled softly. “That’s a special story.”

  “There’re miracles everywhere if we look for them.” Eden blew out of her mouth and decided to go for it. It wasn’t like she could be embarrassed any further. “If you don’t know this already, I just want to thank you for working out with Aidan. I know I irritate you—”

  “You don’t irritate me.”

  She frowned and shuffled her feet. “But we’ve not spoken in a month. I must irritate you.”

  He took a step closer. “I don’t do well with surprises, especially in front of people. When I realized Alistair was going to introduce me in front of everyone, I didn’t handle it well, and you were the one I took it out on.”

  “But—”

  “Yeah, I know. I’ve played in front of thousands of people for years. But I’m part of a team when I play; I’m doing a job.”

  “You’ve done hundreds of interviews. And you look good at them!”

  He tilted his head slightly. “You’ve seen my interviews, have you?”

  Heat flushed her face. “Aidan wanted to see them.”

  Amusement flashed in usually unreadable eyes. “What did Aidan think?”

  “He didn’t understand any of it. Said the accent was too strong.” She stared. That was almost a smile.

  “He’s a good kid, Eden. And he’s got a bit of natural talent.”

  “Seriously?”

  “It’s not often my opinion about rugby is questioned.”

  She laughed. And for a second, there it was. A real smile. With teeth.

  “If it’s any consolation,” he continued, “Liana Murphy gave me an earful for how I behaved to you.”

  “She did?”

  “Yeah. Along the lines of not showing my face in New Zealand unless I make it up.”

  A shiver ran through her body. Not from the chilled air. Not from fear. From him. His stare caught her in a net of awareness she wasn’t sure she wanted to escape.

  The rustle of the trees; the quiet laugh of two lovers in the distance; the low hum of nocturnal animals waking from their slumber—these were sounds she’d dismiss on any other night. But tonight, they only raised her consciousness about the man in front of her.

  What would it be like to be touched by granite?

  “We better get you back, eh?” he asked softly. “Getting late.”

  “What? Oh, right. Yes. Back. Better get back. Can’t leave Aidan alone too long.”

  The walk back to the apartment was again withou
t conversation, but it was no longer fraught with nervous silence. They exchanged a nod by the security gate; he waited until she waved from the balcony. She stayed there until he disappeared into the dark.

  She dreamt about him. In her dream, she had reached to run her fingers through his hair, surprised by softness. He’d smiled then. Not the brief flash she had seen under the shadows of a church but a wide, long-lasting one that was just for her.

  “Eden? Got a minute?”

  Eden started at the short, bald man now in front of her. She glanced at her phone then looked for Jordan. He drove them to practice this week. She caught his attention then nodded in Tommy’s direction. Jordan understood immediately and gave her a thumbs-up.

  “Of course,” she said, pulling the sweatshirt over her body.

  Tommy stared at a sticky note at the corner of his famous notebook. “I was just looking over your workout for the main set. Who designed it?”

  “Linda Wellens. She’s—”

  “I know Linda. Okay, she’s known you long enough, and you got here following her advice. But after the next meet, I’m thinking of changing it a little. How do you feel about that?”

  Eden nodded. “I’m open to that.”

  “And you’re starting to taper next week?”

  “Yes. I began to drop some significant times when I switched from ten days to a full two weeks, moving down to fifty percent of my yardage in the second week.”

  “Sleep?”

  “Nine hours.” As long as I don’t dream of men from New Zealand, I’m sure I’ll sleep nine hours.

  Tommy grunted then pulled a pen from the top of his ear, scribbling quickly. Eden made a conscious effort not to lean forward and try to sneak a look at Tommy’s notes. She wondered if he still had his notebook from when he had coached Brandon.

  “We’ll stick to that.” Tommy shut his notebook loudly. “Why mess with what’s working, right?”

  Minutes later, she joined Jordan in his car. He had his laptop opened, as usual, adding notes to a training spreadsheet that he would later share with the whole team. He looked up, a small smile resting on his face, as she slid into the passenger seat. He lifted a traveler cup toward her. “Hot chocolate.”