The Other Daughter (ARC)

by Shalini Boland

‘Maybe you misread it?’

  I pick up my phone and open up Facebook. ‘I’ll show you.’ I go onto Kate’s page but for some reason I can’t see any of her posts. ‘There’s something wrong with this. Hang on a sec.’ I spend a couple of minutes logging out and then logging back in, but I still can’t see any of Kate’s posts. I click on another friend’s profile page and find that I can see all her posts fine. So why can’t I…? Then it hits me – Kate must have unfriended me, which is why her posts are now hidden. Shit.

  Now I’m worried that Bella must have told Kate about our conversation. And as a consequence, Kate has unfriended me. It’s too much of a coincidence to be anything other than that. I wonder if Kate will confront me about it. I need to come up with an answer that won’t make me sound like some crazy stalker. Should I be the one to confront her? Speak to Kate about Bella? No. Not yet. I need more proof and I don’t want to scare the Morrises away. They might leave the area and then I’d lose Holly all over again.

  ‘Have you found it?’ Matt leans across to look at the screen.

  ‘I think she’s unfriended me.’

  ‘Wow, that’s a bit harsh.’ Matt’s expression darkens. ‘All because of what happened on Saturday night? I didn’t think what you said was that bad. Maybe a little intense, but not actively rude or anything.’

  ‘I think it’s because she knows I’m on to her. She knows I suspect about Bella.’

  Matt doesn’t reply.

  ‘What do you think?’ I press.

  ‘Rach, don’t take this the wrong way, but I really don’t think Kate took your daughter. Can’t you see how much of a crazy coincidence that would be?’

  ‘Doesn’t make it impossible though.’

  ‘No. No, you’re right. Not impossible. But I’m worried that you’re not seeing things straight. That you might be fixating on it too much. Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand why you’d think it. Honestly, I’m a bit worried about you.’

  ‘What would you do if it were Charlie who went missing?’ I know I’ve asked him this before, but sometimes I think people don’t realise what it’s like. How you would do anything. How you would grasp on to even the tiniest shred of hope.

  ‘I know. I’m sorry.’ Matt scratches the stubble on his chin. ‘Have you booked another appointment with Robin?’

  His question annoys me. The fact he believes I can be cured of my suspicions by talking things through with an ‘expert’. ‘I’m seeing him again next Monday.’

  ‘Okay. Well that’s good.’ He relaxes back into the sofa.

  But speaking to Robin won’t change the fact that Bella is the spitting image of Holly. That Kate is acting really suspiciously. And that Shaun has spent time in prison, for goodness sake. There’s something not right with the Morrises. And I’m sure it’s got something to do with me and my daughter.

  21

  Then

  Catriona and Darren stand beneath the white paper lampshade in their bedroom, the only thing still intact after the mess he’s just created while searching for their daughter. Darren’s hands grip her shoulders, his ragged breath hot on her face. His own face is white with fear and anger. It’s a side of him she’s never seen before. It’s a side of him that should scare her. But it doesn’t. She understands it. She feels it herself.

  ‘If you don’t tell me where our daughter is, I swear… I’ll…’ He exhales, shakes his head and releases her shoulders. ‘Don’t make me do something I shouldn’t.’ His voice breaks.

  ‘It was an accident, Darren. A terrible accident.’ Her voice is devoid of emotion now, as though she’s reading from a script.

  ‘Tell me.’ He sits heavily on the edge of their double bed, as though his legs can’t hold him upright any more, and stares down into his lap.

  Catriona walks away from him towards the wall, where she splays her hands against the grubby cream paintwork for a moment before dropping them to her sides and turning back around.

  ‘Gracie… she got a bit mucky after her lunch – she had tomato sauce all over her face, in her hair. Such a messy eater.’ Catriona risks a glance at Darren, but his head is still bowed so she carries on. ‘I decided to give her an early bath with all her toys to play with – the stacking cups and all her little play characters. Of course, you know what she’s like – screamed blue murder about getting in, and then once she was in there having a lovely time with her toys, she didn’t want to get out. So I thought I’d drain most of the water and leave her to play for a bit longer while I did the washing up.’

  Darren raises his head slowly. ‘You left her in the bath? By herself?’

  ‘The water wasn’t deep. Only a few inches. Honestly, it only just covered her legs. And she was so happy in there pretending to be the Little Mermaid. I… I didn’t realise she was in any danger. I didn’t know!’

  Darren gets to his feet and runs both hands through his hair. ‘What happened?’

  ‘I… I finished washing up – it only took me a few minutes – and I went back in to check that she wasn’t getting too cold. And…’ Catrina’s mouth stays open. She can’t finish the sentence. All she can see in her mind is her daughter’s pale body face down in the water. Unmoving. ‘I don’t know how it could have happened! I don’t know!’

  ‘How what happened? What?’ Darren cries. ‘Was she injured? Not breathing? Did you check her pulse? Call an ambulance? WHAT HAPPENED? I need you to spell it out for me, Catriona. Where is our daughter?’

  ‘Don’t shout at me! Please! I can’t think straight. I can’t… I can’t…’

  Darren clenches his fists and for a moment, Catriona thinks he’s going to hit her. Not that this worries her. She deserves it. It’s all her fault. She didn’t keep their daughter safe.

  But Darren relaxes his hands and steps away from her. Sits back down on the bed and starts to cry, which is far worse than his anger. ‘Please,’ he whispers, shaking. ‘Tell me exactly what happened.’

  ‘She drowned.’ Catriona’s voice is flat.

  ‘No,’ Darren sobs.

  ‘She’s gone, Darren. Our baby is gone.’ Catriona stands there helplessly.

  ‘The paramedics… couldn’t they save her? Did they try? Did you try?’

  ‘I did. I tried. But she was already… she was gone.’ Saying the words out loud doesn’t make it seem any more real. She has to get him to see that she has a solution.

  ‘How do you know she was gone?’ he spits. ‘You’re not trained. Maybe you just needed to do CPR on her, and she would’ve been fine. Oh God, it’s too late. Is she at the hospital? Did they take her away? Do we need to go there now? I can’t believe this is happening. Our beautiful girl. Why? You should have called me. Why didn’t you call me?’

  ‘I’m so sorry, Darren,’ she cries. ‘I’m so, so sorry.’ She kneels before him and lays her head on his lap, hugging his legs. He stiffens at first, and then folds himself down on top of her and they sob together. Racking, terrifying, out-of-control sobs that do nothing to lessen the pain.

  After a while, when her eyes are raw and her skin dried out from the tears, she slides away from him and sits back on her haunches. ‘Darren,’ she says in a small voice.

  He raises his head a fraction.

  ‘You have to listen to me.’

  He gives the tiniest shrug, so she continues.

  ‘The old Gracie, she’s gone. She drowned.’ Catriona says the words while trying to hide the meaning from herself. They’re just words that mean nothing. She tells herself they’re not true. The truth she wants to believe is that Grace is asleep in her bed. She needs Darren to believe this truth too. He has to. ‘Everything will be fine, Darren. It can go back to how it was before. Because… because I found another Gracie. She’ll be ours. It won’t be any different, I promise.’

  Darren’s eyes widen and his mouth drops open as he starts to understand what Catriona’s telling him. As he starts to realise the implications of the other girl in their daughter’s room. ‘That child in Gracie’s bed… who is
she? Where… where did you get her?’

  ‘I told you. That little girl is Grace. She can be Grace. All you have to do is agree with me, and then it will all be okay.’ Catriona realises that Darren won’t accept this solution immediately. It will take time for him to process it. To realise that Catriona’s right. That she has their best interests at heart. That other woman in the shopping centre, she didn’t deserve to have her child, not after she left her unsupervised in a public place. Catriona pushes out the little voice accusing her of doing something similar – leaving your child alone in a bath isn’t exactly the action of a responsible mother either. But it was an accident. She’s only human. And so is that other mother, the voice replies.

  ‘That is not Grace,’ Darren replies, his eyes hardening.

  ‘It is.’ Catriona nods emphatically. ‘It is Grace. Don’t you tell me otherwise. Don’t you tell me that!’

  ‘Caty…’ Darren’s voices is trembling now. ‘Caty, I think you’re in shock. I think you might have done something terrible. And we have to put it right.’

  Catriona’s ears twitch as she hears a soft crying from the back bedroom. She stands and turns away from Darren. ‘Gracie’s crying. Maybe she’s thirsty. I better go and see if—’

  Darren leaps to his feet, grabs her arms and pulls her back. Turns her around to face him. ‘You never told me where she is. Where’s our daughter?’ Catriona turns to the window, staring out into the black night. There’s nothing to be seen but darkness, but the implication is clear. In case it isn’t, she manages to utter two words:

  ‘The churchyard.’

  It was stupidly easy to find a small patch of soft ground hidden from view behind the old Elizabethan church. The weather was so vile out there that the grounds were deserted. At least she knows her child is buried in consecrated ground.

  Darren stares in horror at her muddy clothes, not wanting to understand their significance. ‘Oh sweet Jesus. You… you…’ He points to her. ‘And Gracie is…’ He turns towards the dark pane of glass and convulses. Catriona thinks he’s going to vomit. But he swallows and coughs, pulling his phone out of his pocket. ‘I’m calling the police.’

  22

  Now

  I’m helping out in the café kitchen today, making waffles for a table of office workers who’ve come in for an earlyish Christmas brunch. Work is both a blessing and a curse at the moment. It helps take my mind off all the stuff with the Morrises, but it also means I don’t have any time to devote to finding out about Bella. I’m here at the café, when I could be spending time working out what to do. Planning how to get that hard evidence I’m looking for. I have a few vague ideas of how to go about it, but they all seem a bit extreme. And I’m still too wary of going to the police.

  If only Matt were more on board. I could really do with talking to him about this. Getting his opinion on the best way to go about things. Although really I already know his opinion – don’t do anything, apart from talk to Robin.

  I plate up the waffles and start bringing them out to the office workers, who are already quite raucous despite the absence of alcohol. Dee and I had to push three tables together next to the window to accommodate them all, and Dee decorated their table with tinsel and crackers. We don’t normally have party bookings, and this has got her mind working overtime about how we can get more.

  ‘Mmm, this looks great,’ an older lady in an orange party hat says as I put her plate in front of her.

  ‘Hope you enjoy!’

  ‘I’m sure we will.’

  The bell above the door rings and I glance around, checking to see if there are any spare tables. There’s one left, by the counter. I look up with a smile, ready to direct whoever it is to the table.

  It’s Kate. She doesn’t look happy.

  I clasp one hand in the other and try to stay calm, but there’s a lump in my throat and I’m suddenly really hot.

  Kate looks chic in a Barbour and jeans, her hair in a ponytail. She has an oversized navy umbrella in her hand that’s dripping all over the café floor. I wonder how she manages to always look so smartly and expensively dressed, given that they live in a tiny ex-council flat.

  ‘Hi, Kate.’ I go for breezy and friendly, wondering if I can brazen this out. ‘How are you? Are you here for brunch? You’re in luck – there’s one table left.’

  Her facial expression hasn’t changed from stony. ‘I need to talk to you.’

  ‘Oh. Yes, sure. Thing is, I’ve already had my break and my shift doesn’t finish until two thirty. You’re welcome to pop over with the kids after school, if you like?’

  ‘Rachel!’ Dee’s calling. She’s pointing to a table near the back where a couple want to pay their bill.

  I nod and hold my fingers up to indicate I’ll just be a couple of seconds.

  ‘I need to speak to you now. It’s urgent.’ Kate’s voice is clipped, monotone. It makes me feel slightly queasy and also a little hysterical, like I could laugh out loud. The feeling reminds me of an incident back when I was at school, sitting an English exam. The invigilator was this really strict teacher who everyone was afraid of. My friend Karen and I couldn’t stop laughing, even though we were terrified of getting in trouble. In the end, we were sent out and both given detentions.

  I glance around the café, but it’s so busy there’s no way Dee will stand for me nipping off to talk to a friend. We’re short-staffed as it is – Chrissie called in sick today, so Dee’s already a bit tense. ‘I’m sorry, Kate, I can’t get away right now. As you can see, we’re rushed off our feet.’

  She presses her lips together. ‘Fine. Two thirty, down by the river.’

  I raise an eyebrow, as though surprised by her attitude. Even though I’m not surprised at all. ‘Okay,’ I reply with a small bemused smile. ‘See you later.’

  She doesn’t reply. Just turns and leaves. The bell jangles loudly as the door crashes shut behind her. I realise I’m shaking.

  ‘Rachel.’ Dee has come over to where I’m standing by the door. She looks almost as pissed off as Kate did. ‘What was that about?’

  ‘Sorry. Just one of the school mums wanting to chat.’

  ‘Look,’ she says crossly under her breath, ‘I’m trying to run a business here. It’s fine to talk to friends when we’re quiet, but not when it’s busy like this. I need you to get back to the customers.’

  ‘I’m so sorry, Dee. I did send her away.’

  Dee nods and gets back to work. But she’s not happy and I don’t blame her. I haven’t been fully focused on work for days. She must really be regretting giving me those extra hours for after Christmas. I hurry over to the couple waiting to pay, with several backward glances at the door, hoping Kate doesn’t come back in.

  The next few hours go by too quickly. Everyone seems to be in a festive mood, wishing us a Happy Christmas and leaving generous tips. As the time ticks closer to two thirty, I realise I’m dreading meeting Kate. She’s obviously going to have a go at me, but I’m not sure exactly what she’s going to say. Maybe she’ll simply warn me away from Bella. But what if she threatens me? I’m starting to feel a little scared by her. If she’s capable of stealing someone’s child, what else is she capable of?

  Once my shift ends, I find myself dawdling – cleaning a few more tables and tidying the area by the cash register. It’s quieter in the café now and I know I should go and meet Kate, but I’m putting it off.

  Dee checks her watch. ‘Isn’t it time for you to pick up Jess and Charlie?’

  I realise that if I don’t want to be late to school, I really better go and meet Kate. I take off my apron. ‘You’re right. Okay, I’m off. See you tomorrow. Sorry about earlier with that friend coming in.’

  ‘Don’t worry about it. I’m sorry I got a bit snippy. You can’t help it if people you know drop by.’

  ‘You had every right, Dee. We were busy.’

  ‘Will you sit down for a minute?’ She gestures to one of the empty tables.

  ‘I really should get goi
ng…’

  ‘Just for a minute, Rach.’

  Anything to delay talking to Kate. I take a seat opposite my friend and wonder what she wants to talk to me about.

  ‘I hope you don’t mind me saying something, but… how are you doing?’

  ‘How am I doing?’ I’m not sure what she’s referring to. ‘I’m okay.’ I shrug.

  She gives a nervous smile. ‘Don’t get mad with me, or Matt, but, well, he told me what’s been going on.’

  My heart starts thumping against my ribcage. ‘Told you? Told you what, exactly?’

  Dee’s cheeks turn scarlet as she realises I’m not happy. ‘Uh…’

  ‘Told you what?’

  ‘That he was worried about you. He just wanted me to keep an eye on you at work.’

  ‘You haven’t answered my question, Dee.’ I realise my tone is harsh. I know it’s not Dee’s fault my blabbermouth boyfriend couldn’t keep a secret, but I hope this isn’t what I think it is.

  ‘He told me about your eldest daughter going missing.’

  I grit my teeth and clench my fists.

  ‘I’m so, so, sorry, Rach. You know I won’t talk about it, or mention it, or tell anyone. You know I won’t. I just want you to know that I’m here for you, if you ever need to talk about it.’

  I inhale deeply, trying to calm my breathing. ‘Thanks, Dee. But Matt should never have said anything to you. What happened in my past is private.’ I scrape my chair back and get to my feet unsteadily, tears pricking behind my eyes. This is how it starts – you tell one person, then they tell another, and they tell another. And pretty soon the whole damn town is talking about you behind your back, pointing and whispering. ‘I’ve got to go.’

  ‘Rachel, wait. I’m sorry. I…’

  I wave her apology away. I don’t have time for this. I know it’s not her fault that she knows, but I’m so annoyed with Matt, I can’t pretend to be nice to Dee right now. I march away from her, collect my things and leave the café without looking back.