by Jena Wade
Jason rocked his hips as he fucked himself with his fingers, his cock hard and leaking against his stomach. Lucas wanted to taste it, but instead he took the shaft in his hand and stroked.
With a groan, Jason quickly grabbed the condom and ripped it open with his teeth. He sheathed Lucas’s cock with one smooth motion, then positioned himself over him.
“Slow, baby; I don’t want to hurt you.” Lucas said, even though every fiber of his being told him to take Jason and make him remember this night forever.
Jason’s eyes closed, and his head tipped back as he lowered himself onto Lucas’s dick. Once Lucas was buried as far as he could go, Jason opened his eyes. They held a wicked gleam, and Lucas wasn’t sure what he was in for, but he had a feeling he was going to like it.
It felt like an eternity before Jason finally moved. He rocked his hips, creating the most spectacular sensations for Lucas.
Lucas’s skin came alive as Jason moved above him ever so slowly. “Christ. Fucking faster, Jason.”
“Slow and easy wins the race, baby.” Jason moaned the words between each rocking motion.
Jason put his hands to Lucas’s chest and stopped him before he could try to take over and speed up the process. Lucas wanted to let loose; they could savor and worship each other later. Right now was a timed event, and he wanted to come in first.
“Fuck, you are going to kill me.” Lucas continued to stroke Jason’s cock, pumping at twice the speed that Jason was moving.
“Oh, fuck.” Jason cried out as he rocked faster until his speed matched Lucas’s.
“Damn right.” Lucas cursed his stupid wrist as he watched Jason’s hips move. He wanted his hands there, guiding Jason’s motion—wanted to feel the smooth skin of his ass, feel the muscles in his thighs tighten with each thrust.
“So fucking close.” Jason’s movements lost their rhythm as he sped up. His head tipped, and his eyes rolled back in his head. It was the most beautiful sight Lucas had ever seen. He could understand now why Jason would want to slow down and enjoy this, savor each moment, making it last as long as he possibly could. But it was too late.
Cum shot from Jason’s cock, landing on Lucas’s chest.
Seeing Jason come made Lucas lose what little control he had. Jason clenched down and milked Lucas’s dick, drawing out his release.
Lucas bucked his hips as he came.
Moments later, as the two recovered from their euphoric afterglow, Jason carefully rolled off Lucas onto his side. He let out a long sigh. “Tell me again why we don’t do that every night?”
Lucas snorted. “‘Because you aren’t gay?”
“I seem to have forgotten.” Jason winced as he stood up and walked toward the bathroom. He came out with a washcloth, which he tossed to Lucas.
“You okay?” Lucas asked.
Jason smiled slowly, sleepiness glazed over his eyes. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that? This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I said you needed to get some rest.”
Lucas cleaned himself up and threw the condom in the trash beside the bed. “I can rest now.”
“It’s only seven thirty.” Jason crawled into the bed and scooted next to Lucas. “Think it’s too early to go to sleep?”
“Not for me.” Lucas wanted to pull Jason closer to his side and keep him there throughout the entire night. But he wasn’t sure how Jason would feel about that.
“My phone’s going to go off in two hours, and you can take another pain pill.” Jason yawned and snuggled into his pillow. Lucas couldn’t help but stare at him. Even if whatever this was ended in disaster, he wouldn’t regret the time he’d spent with Jason. He would have to remind himself of that when he was nursing his broken heart.
Jason might have admitted that he wasn’t straight, but that didn’t mean he was going to settle down with Lucas.
Lucas would have to settle for what he could get in the time he could get it. He’d tried resisting Jason after that first night, and they had still wound up in bed together. But once finals were over, Jason would be out the door. Possibly out of Lucas’s life for good. The two had only ever been roping partners. Once they weren’t that, what would they be? Friends who fucked a few times?
The thought of being without Jason by his side each day made Lucas sick.
“What are you thinking about?” Jason lifted his head and looked at Lucas.
“Nothing.” Someday they might have to broach the subject of what next. But now wasn’t the time. Lucas wasn’t prepared for that.
“You sure? Tension is practically radiating off you. Does your wrist hurt?”
“No, I’m fine. Just thinking.”
Jason grabbed Lucas’s good hand and held it as he snuggled back into his pillow. “Well, stop that. Get some rest. It’s not very often we get to sleep this early. And we don’t have to be up in the morning.”
Lucas couldn’t bring himself to pull his arm away. So instead, he closed his eyes and tried to sleep. The comforting sound of Jason’s even breathing lulled him into unconsciousness.
Chapter Six
Lucas roused slowly from sleep. It was odd not being on the road, not worrying about when they had to check out of the hotel or where they were going to sleep next. Even when he was at home, he wasn’t this relaxed.
’Cause when you’re at home, you don’t wake up next to Jason.
“Are you awake?” Lucas asked as he lay unmoving beside Jason. They had drifted apart during the night, but their legs were still tangled together. At some point, Jason had taken Lucas’s pillow, and Lucas had stolen all of the blankets.
“Yeah. I set the coffee to brew at six. Has it started yet?”
“It just went off.”
Jason groaned. “Why are we awake before six on a day we don’t have anything to do?”
Lucas sat up and ran a hand through his sleep-rumpled hair. He reveled in the feeling of waking up beside Jason, knowing he had been next to him all night. Lucas took a quick look at Jason as he stretched his arms overhead, one hand rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
Fuck. He’s gorgeous.
“Cory wanted us to help with some of the cabins. We might as well get to it.”
“Not you. You’re going to rest that arm. I’m going to help with the cabins.”
Lucas put on his best glare. “I can’t sit inside all day and do nothing.”
“You can if I tie you to the bed.”
Lucas’s dick hardened as the idea took shape in his head. Only he would rather have Jason tied to the bed. It would be a beautiful sight.
“That ain’t happening,” Lucas said as he stood, then bent over to pick up his jeans, giving Jason a nice view of his ass. He slid them on without putting on his boxers.
Jason groaned into his pillow. “How the fuck am I supposed to get anything done today knowing you’re going commando?”
Lucas grinned. “I could sit inside naked all day. Would that be better?”
Before Jason could answer, a knock sounded on the door and had both men jumping.
Lucas went to the door as Jason pulled on his jeans, also sans underwear. He went to the coffeepot and poured himself a cup.
“Isn’t it a little early for social calls?” Lucas said to Cory after he opened the door.
Cory stepped into the cabin like he owned the place, and he did. “This time of day is considered late around here. This isn’t the rodeo life where you get to sleep in and be lazy.”
Jason snorted; like they ever got to sleep in when there were horses that needed to be fed and exercised each day. He took a sip of his coffee, then handed the mug to Lucas so he could have some caffeine as well. “Since when do you get up so damn early?”
Cory smiled that goofy, lovesick smile that annoyed Lucas and made him jealous at the same time. “Since I started waking up next to Perry.”
The love was evident in his voice, in his face. Everything about Cory proclaimed his love for Perry. It was on the tip of Lucas’s tongue to ask how? How did they manage to be out and to still be
taken seriously in this line of work? Was it worth it? Could Lucas ever have that with Jason?
No. Jason wasn’t even gay. He was… Lucas didn’t know what he was. Experimenting, maybe.
No. They’d gone beyond that.
Lucas sneaked a look at Jason. He was staring off into space, holding his coffee mug close to his mouth like he’d forgotten what he was doing and gotten lost in thought. A far-off look captured his eyes.
“You guys coming up to the main house for breakfast? My grandparents are out of town, so it’s just us four. I promise it’s good. I made it myself.” Cory’s gaze bounced from Lucas to Jason and back to Lucas.
“Yeah, we’ll be there in a minute.”
Jason still stared off into space after Cory left. Lucas grabbed the mug from his hands and took a long drink. “You make damn good coffee.”
“Thanks.” Jason grabbed his bag and walked toward the bathroom. Once he got to the doorway, he stopped. “It’s pretty cool about Cory and Perry being together.”
“Yeah. They seem happy.” Lucky bastards.
“Maybe—” Jason stopped and shook his head. “Never mind.”
Lucas took a step forward, ready to beg Jason to finish his thought, but Jason shut the door of the bathroom, and Lucas heard the lock click into place.
* * * *
Inside the main house, Lucas sat down at the table in the dining room. Perry and Cory were in the kitchen working on breakfast.
“Are you sure I can’t help with anything?” Lucas asked, trying to sound polite, though he was annoyed that everyone was treating him like he was a damn china doll.
“Dude, relax. Isn’t this like vacation time or something for you guys?” Cory set a plate of bacon in the center of the table and returned to the kitchen.
Lucas shrugged. “I guess.” He watched as Cory and Perry maneuvered around each other: fixing plates of food, cleaning the countertop, and tossing dishes in the sink. Every so often, they would rub shoulders or place light touches on each other’s backs, as if they couldn’t stand to go more than a few moments without contact. It was almost like Lucas was intruding on a special moment. Jealousy shot through him yet again as the two men sat down at the table, chairs close enough together that their thighs were probably brushing. Meanwhile, Jason sat two feet away from Lucas, browsing the Internet on his phone, avoiding everyone in the room.
“So what kind of work do y’all need done on the cabins?” Lucas asked before he dug into the homemade food around him. He eyed the spread carefully, unsure of what to grab first, then piled eggs, bacon, and pancakes onto his plate. Having skipped dinner, he had quite the appetite.
“Jeesh, don’t you let him eat, Jason? Or does he only get food when you win a round, like a reward system?” Cory asked.
Lucas laughed outright at that. “Sounds like something he would do.” He shot Jason a glance, expecting to find a smile, but instead he met an angry stare.
“I’m not that bad.”
“Aw, c’mon man. We were just kidding. Winning used to be all I could think about too. Nothing wrong with being competitive.”
Jason folded his arms across his chest. “It’s not all I think about.”
Tension rolled off Jason in waves, and Lucas changed the subject. “About those cabins?”
Perry must have gotten the hint, and cut Cory off before he could speak. “The drywall’s all done, so they need to be painted. Nothing fancy, a coat of white should do it.”
“Hell, I can do that even with my wrist.”
“Why don’t you rest for a little while at least?” Jason asked.
Lucas shook his head. “Don’t start this again. I’m fine. I can paint with one hand.”
“Well, I wish you would just lie low and let your wrist heal. Take some of the medication they prescribed you. The body heals better if it isn’t constantly in pain.”
Lucas held his breath at the look in Jason’s eyes. There was concern, but something else as well. Something he couldn’t quite place, but he felt it all the way in the pit of his stomach.
Cory’s and Perry’s chuckling brought him out of his thoughts, and he looked away from Jason.
“What’s so damn funny?” Jason asked.
“You sure the two of you are just roping partners? You act more like a married couple to me.” Perry smiled while looking between Lucas and Jason.
Lucas couldn’t meet his eyes. Denial was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t bring himself to lie.
After last night, he didn’t know what he and Jason were, and for the first time in his life, he considered what it might be like to be out. Like Cory and Perry.
It seemed to work for them. Why couldn’t it work for Jason and Lucas?
* * * *
Jason followed Perry to the barn where he had all of the paint stored, and the two of them loaded it up on the ATV.
Thoughts ran through Jason’s head like bulls though a china shop, shattering what he thought he knew of the world and what he wanted out of it.
Winning the title wasn’t so important anymore—maybe it never had been— but getting his own place was still a top priority. Then again, would it ever be home without Lucas there? Would he ever be able to sleep without Lucas by his side? He’d traveled with Lucas for the past five years, and even when they were apart, he’d known it was only a matter of time before they were back together on the road. What would it be like not to have that to look forward to?
Lucas had made his stance about being in the closet perfectly clear. He wasn’t coming out, and there was nothing Jason could say to change that.
“You pondering the mysteries of the universe over there?” Perry raised a brow as he looked at Jason.
Words flew from Jason’s brain to his lips before he could hold them back. “What’s it like being…out?”
“Out…side?”
Jason rolled his eyes. Of course Perry would make this difficult. “No. Out of the closet and on the circuit. Surely everyone knows you and Cory are gay. Do you ever have any trouble?”
Perry shrugged and focused on driving. “You hear comments from time to time. Nothing that would make me change my decision though. I love Cory, and he’s always been very open about who he is. And being with him means that I kind of have to be too.”
Jason nodded. “The reining circuit is a bit more accepting than the rodeo circuit. Richer crowd. Money talks.”
Perry stopped the ATV in the middle of the path, fifty yards from the cabins where Cory and Lucas were waiting for them, and turned to face Jason. “Why do I get the feeling you aren’t asking out of curiosity?”
Jason let out a long sigh. He knew he’d promised not to tell, but he had to talk to someone. He could only argue with himself for so long.
“Lucas and I… We aren’t just roping partners.” That was putting it mildly.
“Damn it.” Perry slammed his palm on the steering wheel. “That means I owe Cory a blowjob. I should have known better than to bet against him; he has the best fucking gaydar.”
“We’re that obvious?”
“Only to someone who knows the signs. Which apparently Cory does. I thought you guys were acting like teammates.”
“We are teammates.” Jason paused. “I guess we’re more than that now. At least, I hope we are.”
“What’s the problem? Neither of you out yet?”
“It’s not that. Well, it is that. Lucas isn’t out. I’m not either, I guess. I don’t think coming out will be a problem, but Lucas doesn’t see it that way. He thinks his family will disown him. I don’t even know if he really wants to be with me or if we’re just messing around.”
“Only one way to find out.”
“You mean ask him?”
“Well, I don’t think you’re going to read his mind. If you could do that, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“What if he says no? That he doesn’t want to be with me, or be out at all? What then?”
“Then you’ll be in the same situat
ion you are in right now, only you’ll know where you both stand. You can’t assume you know how he feels. Shit like that isn’t going to help anything.”
“You’re speaking from experience.”
Perry nodded. “Cory and I didn’t do lot of talking when we first met. I made some assumptions about him that turned out to be wrong, and it almost caused us not to be together.”
“That’s great that you guys got your happily ever after, but I don’t see Lucas ever coming out. He is convinced everyone will hate him. Thing is, his mom and brother already know he’s gay, and they don’t care.”
“Coming out is a decision he has to make by himself. You can’t force him out. Talk to him. Have a conversation with your clothes on. You’ll be surprised what you might find out.”
What would happen if Jason actually talked to Lucas about their relationship? Would it change anything?
From across the yard, Jason could see Lucas and Cory by the cabins, talking and laughing about something. Jason smiled; Lucas always looked the best when he laughed. Jason’s face lit up and his eyes sparkled.
Fuck. Jason shook the thoughts from his head. This wasn’t a damn romantic comedy, and the likelihood of the two of them living happily ever after and riding off into the sunset was slim to none.
“I’ll think about it,” Jason finally said.
“Do more than think about it.” Perry hit the gas and maneuvered the vehicle to the cabins.
“How come you were stopped for so long?” Cory asked.
Jason met Lucas’s gaze and saw the same question there.
Perry shrugged as he got off the ATV and started unloading the paint supplies. “We were talking.”
“I needed to pick Perry’s brain about running a ranch like this.” Good cover-up. Likely story too. Maybe if Jason could focus on something other than Lucas for more than five minutes, he might actually talk to Perry about ranching.
Cory snorted. “Should be talking to me. I’m the boss around here.”
Perry tossed a paint roller at Cory, who caught it easily. “You wish.”
With a shake of his head, and something that might have been a smile, Lucas walked into the cabin. “All right, you two, show us what needs to be done.”
