“Don’t make eye contact.”
Everyone answered except for Aggie. She felt the dread creeping in.
Ben shook his head. “Here’s why that might not be the best answer.” He started walking in a large circle. “Walk toward me.”
The ladies did as he asked while keeping a distance from him. “As I walk toward you, if you’re looking away, what happens?”
Minnie Walker, a schoolteacher, answered, “You leave yourself open to attack?”
“Exactly.” Ben clapped his hands. “What you’re doing is making yourself vulnerable and an assailant will know that because you give off a frightened vibe even if you don’t mean to. It makes you an easy target. But if you look him in the eye, say hello, and let him know you’re aware he’s there, what do you think happens?”
“You let him know that if he tries anything, you can identify him?” Minnie clapped her hands.
“You got it. It’s amazing how something so simple can make a big difference. Don’t go around with your eyes down, hoping something doesn’t happen. You can make all the difference by standing tall, squaring off your shoulders and being direct. Give off that ‘don’t mess with me’ attitude.”
It made sense, but Aggie still had tension creeping up her back.
“What I want to teach you first is how to get out of a hold if someone grabs you. Who’s going to volunteer to start this off? You all need to do this tonight but I need one of you to go first so I can demonstrate.”
Minnie stepped forward, a big grin on her face. “I will.”
“Great, thanks, Minnie. Now remember, it’s okay to feel the adrenaline but try not to let it dictate your actions. Don’t freeze. Use it to your advantage like I said.” Ben moved back. “What I’m going to do is walk toward you, put my hands on your shoulders, and then I’ll talk you through how to get out of that hold. Okay?”
Minnie nodded while Aggie’s heart started to race as she watched them. She wrapped her arms around herself and stepped back a few paces behind the other women.
Ben started walking toward Minnie and when they were close, he reached out and grabbed her. She jolted but remained calm. “Put your palms together, raise them up between my arms, and spread them out. Then strike downwards.”
Minnie did as he said and got herself free. “Wow, so simple.” She turned to the group, a huge smile on her face, then back to Ben. “Do that again but really try to hang onto me.”
Ben complied and Minnie broke out of his hold a second time. She turned back to the other women, eyes wide with excitement. “That’s insane. I never would’ve thought it would be that easy.”
Aggie wanted to throw up. She’d suffered all this time when something as simple as that move could’ve set her free? She stood frozen watching as each student tried to get out of Ben’s hold. Not one of them failed.
“Aggie.” Ben stood in front of her. “Your turn.”
She wanted to run from the room but this could be a turning point for her. A move she could use to free herself from the hell she’d lived in for the last two years. If she could muster the courage to take that step.
He smiled and held out his hand, inviting her to take that step.
Aggie sucked in a breath and glanced around the room at the smiles of achievement on the women’s faces. She saw encouragement and compassion, which overrode the furious pounding in her heart. “Okay. Let’s do this.”
With her legs trembling, she walked toward Ben, careful to keep her gaze on his face. But when he grabbed her shoulders, she panicked.
His fingers dug into her skin and for a moment she was lost, back in time. She could feel his drunken breath on her face, the smell of damp leaves. ‘You look so pretty. I’m gonna have me a piece of you.’ Her dinner threatened to surface and the edges of her peripheral vision darkened.
“Focus, Aggie.”
She blinked, anger taking over the fear. Everything she’d gone through churned in her gut. No more. She was done playing the victim. She could do this.
Aggie put her palms together and brought them up between Ben’s arms before her sheer loathing of being weak and having no control forced them down, pushing him away from her. For good measure, she brought up her knee. His cry of pain snapped her out of her fog.
“Ben! Oh, shit.” She reached out to help him up, embarrassed that she’d gotten out of control. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to do that to you.”
Ben laughed, coughed, and laughed again. “And that, ladies, is how you follow through on that move.” He held up his hands as if to keep Aggie away. “Great job. That was perfect and now you’ve shown everyone the next move. You may as well take over the rest of the lesson. Looks to me like you already know what to do.” He groaned.
Aggie grinned, blinked the tears away, and stood with her hands on her hips feeling prouder of herself than ever before. She wasn’t going to be the victim again. That Aggie was gone; from tonight on, she was dead and buried. This Aggie was stronger.
As the words went through her mind, she hoped she could live up to her new affirmations.
Chapter 16
After he finished work the next day, Liam went to his training session.
Ben was already working with the free weights when he walked in. “Hey. How did the first lesson go?”
Ben lowered the weights onto the bar rest and sat up. “Great. They did well. Got myself a knee in the crutch for my efforts though. Aggie did a brilliant job, if that’s what you wanted to know. Froze a bit to start but performed well enough to put me on the ground.”
Liam grinned and Ben told him the full story. It made him ridiculously happy as he headed to do his own workout.
After Liam worked up a sweat, he went home to shower and change before going back out. As he suspected, Aggie’s car was at the bakery. He got out and banged on the back door, calling out at the same time. “It’s only me, Aggie. Your part-time assistant.”
She came to the door, her lips pressed together in annoyance. “What now, Liam?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe you have a few jobs for me. I’m bored sitting at home by myself.” It’d been well over a week since the morning he’d last seen her and he missed her.
She didn’t open the door. Instead, she stood with her hands on her hips, glaring at him from behind the security screen. “I don’t need looking after. You need to do better than that.”
Time for him to be honest then. “Okay. I’m scared, all right? I’m worried about what the coroner’s report is going to say and I don’t want to be alone. If Drew was here, I’d talk to him but he isn’t, so…”
“So you figured I’m it?” A small muscle twitched at the corners of her lips.
He tried his best not to look needy but from the gentle smile she gave him, he figured he’d failed.
“Fine, come in, but don’t go getting any ideas about you and me.”
If that was what it took, then he’d agree to whatever she wanted. “Thanks. I’m fine at work because I’m so busy, but once I get home, the doubt creeps in. Couldn’t seem to brush it off tonight.”
Aggie locked the door behind him. “Well, if you want a couple of hours of work, feel free to help me. I’m not a good counsellor, but I’ll stop you feeling sorry for yourself.”
“That’s exactly what I need.” He took the apron she handed him.
“Has Drew been contacted?” Aggie leaned against a large mixer stand while Liam did up his apron.
“I sent him an email but I can’t see him even looking at anything yet. They’ve still got another week to go, and I doubt what’s happening at work is high on his priority list now that he has April all to himself.”
“True, and you can’t blame them. Now, just so we’re clear here. You’re not staying all night and we’re not discussing you and me. There is no you and me. Got it?” Aggie glared at him and Liam held back a smile. She was tougher than she knew. And so damned beautiful when she was trying to act angry.
“Yes, ma’am. Point me at the
first batch of dough.”
It took a couple of hours for Aggie to let down her defenses and act normal with him in her space. When she set a cup of coffee in front of Liam, he looked at the clock. “Wow, that time already.” Midnight came around fast when he was with the one he loved and keeping busy.
“Yes. And time you went home, Dr. Davidson. You have work tomorrow and I’m sure your patients don’t want to see you falling asleep at your desk.”
He picked up the mug. “No, I’m sure they don’t.” He sipped and closed his eyes as the caffeine trickled down his throat. “Thanks for taking pity on me.”
“No problem.” Aggie leaned on the stainless steel workbench. “You really shouldn’t worry, Liam. It’ll be okay; I’m sure of it.”
Something had changed in her manner. She seemed a little calmer, more sure of herself. It looked good on her. “Yes, I believe you. I hear you roughed Ben up a bit last night.”
She laughed, a sound he wished he could hear more often.
“He was so funny.” She snorted and held her hand over her mouth until she got herself under control. “I didn’t mean to hurt him, honestly. It just happened.”
“That’s good. It’s what you’re there for. If you need to practice on Ben, go for it. He’s a big guy and can take care of himself.”
“That’s what he said. I have to admit I was pretty proud of myself. But back to you. When’re you going to stop blaming yourself? It wasn’t your fault.”
“No matter how much I tell myself the same thing, I can’t help but think I could’ve done more. And we don’t know I’m in the clear yet. I might not be, and that’s what’s scaring me senseless.”
“You have to stop beating yourself up or you’ll be no good to anyone.” Her eyes flickered. She still had a long way to go before she would feel safe, no matter what she thought, and he wanted to be there for her.
“I know. And I appreciate you letting me work off steam here. I’m hoping we get the report back tomorrow or the next day. Until then, I don’t want to let myself off the hook. It’s not fair to his family or my other patients.”
“Understandable. You’ll get through this, Liam. Now drink that coffee and go home. Some of us have to work.”
It was going to take time but Liam was determined to make Aggie change her mind. Bit by bit, he’d make her see that what happened to her wasn’t going to have any effect on their relationship. He wanted her and was convinced she wanted him too, despite her earlier comments. She’d shown him her true feelings the night of the wedding. Waking up the next morning with regrets didn’t change anything as far as he was concerned; it only showed how scared she was that he would judge her.
How Liam wished he could find the guy who did it and deal with him. Get some kind of payback for what he’d done to Aggie. That wasn’t going to happen, so the most important thing he could think to do was showing her how important she was to him. Proving that what happened to her wasn’t what would define the rest of her life.
Of course it would be hard to move past something so horrible as a sexual assault—anyone could see that. The last thing he wanted to do was trivialize the incident. Perhaps it would be a good idea to talk to Bradley. He wouldn’t mention Aggie’s name of course, although Bradley knew about the assault, but talk to him in general terms to make sure he didn’t go making things worse. As he lay in bed trying to sleep, he put that on his mental to-do list for the following day.
The next morning when he got a break, he picked up the phone and called the older man. “Bradley, Liam Davidson. I wonder if we could meet up and have a chat?”
“Sure thing, Doc. When and where? My schedule is pretty clear, unlike yours.”
“Thanks. I’m thinking late this afternoon after I finish work. About five p.m. How does that suit you?”
“I’ll be at the beach for a late afternoon walk with [what was his dog’s name?]. Why don’t you find us and get some sand between your toes? From what I hear, you could use the downtime after the week you’ve had.”
Of course Bradley had heard about it. He’d forgotten that Bradley’d told Aggie and sent her to chat to him. Everyone knew.
Liam tried not to let that sour his mood. Small island community—he should be used to it by now. “Good idea. See you then. And thanks.”
He struggled to keep his mind on his patients for the rest of the afternoon, but it kept wandering and it was an effort to bring it back to the present. Finally, the last patient left and he was able to close his door.
By the time he got down to the beach, parked his car and saw Bradley, the weather had cooled. He took his shoes and socks off, folded up his trousers to his knees, and skipped down the steps.
“Liam. Nice to see you.” Bradley’s little dog bounded toward Liam and sniffed his ankles, eventually passing him as acceptable.
“Bradley.”
“So, stressing over your patient. I’m sorry for both of you. He was a nice man, kind and considerate.”
“Yes, he was. I can’t seem to cut myself any slack for it. I know I missed something and it’s tormenting me, to be honest.” He walked beside the retired psychologist, enjoying the sea breeze on his face.
Bradley looked out over the ocean before going back to Liam. “What if you’re wrong? Have you thought of that? I always say when your number’s up, it’s up. He’d led a good life, been a wonderful husband, father, and grandfather. Maybe it was just his time, Liam.”
The thought had crossed his mind, but he’d dismissed it. “Maybe. But until I get the report back, I’ll still be questioning everything I do.”
“Understandable. Now, why don’t you tell me why you really wanted to see me.” He leaned down and undid the lead from the dog’s collar and let the little terrier run free.
Liam grinned. The man could see through anyone, him included. “Aggie came and saw me the other day.”
“Ah, yes. I thought it would be good for you to have someone to talk to. And, knowing how you feel about her, she seemed the logical person to me.”
“Thanks for that. We got into an argument and she told me what happened.”
Bradley paused and stared at him. “You mean…”
“Yes, the sexual assault.” He kicked a shell with his big toe and then stared out over the coastline. “She thinks she’s second-hand goods, Bradley. How on earth do I convince her otherwise? I dealt with cases like this in Seattle but not ever with someone I knew. I don’t want to make the wrong move and scare her away.” He shuffled his feet in the sand. “I’ve been reading reports and papers but haven’t come across anything that specifically covers that side of assaults.”
A worried frown appeared on the older man’s face. “You haven’t said anything to Atticus or Drew have you?”
Liam shook his head. “No. Certainly not. She said only a couple of people know, you included, and I understand why she’d want to keep that secret. I’d never let her down that way.”
Bradley nodded. “Good, good.” He walked a few more paces before speaking again. “I saw her the morning after the wedding. She had a spark of happiness I hadn’t seen for a long time, but then she let the doubt take over. It’s a sad state of affairs.”
“Yes, it is. I know she loves me even if she refuses to put it into words. I saw it in her eyes the night of the wedding and again the other day when she took pity on me when I was stressing over losing a patient. But she won’t let herself admit it because she thinks I’ll wake up one day and look at her differently. That’s not going to happen.”
“You’ll have to help her see that then. I honestly think it’s a time and caring thing, Liam. I suspect PTSD, and you, of all people, should know how that works.”
“I do, and I understand her feeling vulnerable and waiting to be judged. It’s how to convince her that I don’t blame her that’s the hard part.”
“She’s held it all back for two years and what happened is not going to fix itself overnight. You need to be prepared to be patient with her. At least she
told you. I never saw that coming.”
Bradley wasn’t the only one. Liam couldn’t imagine how hard it had been for her over the last two years, keeping that kind of pain inside. “I’ve loved Aggie since we were kids. But I’m not sure I can sit here and watch her treat herself the way she does. It kills me. I hate seeing that.”
Bradley glanced at him.
“I get it, it’s up to me to show her it doesn’t change anything between us.”
Chapter 17
Liam hung up the phone and sat back in his chair. When his receptionist had announced the coroner on the phone for him, his heart had started racing and his breathing became labored. He’d taken the call with every possibility that his career would be over at the end of it. It had been a brain aneurysm; it wasn’t his fault. He sighed, letting go all of the tension that had sat on his shoulders since the day Mr. Drummond had died.
His hands shook, more with relief than anything. All day he’d been waiting for the call that would decide his fate. Ben had phoned earlier that morning to say the report was being prepared and asked if he needed anything, like someone to wait with him or have a consoling drink after work if that was the case.
Liam had declined, preferring to work and keep his mind off of it. That hadn’t happened. Finally the call had come through and he was off the hook. It didn’t feel that much like relief to him because his patient was still dead. But at least it wasn’t on him. He couldn’t have changed a thing. Life was brutal sometimes.
Now he walked up the stairs to the Hope family home, his heart pounding once again. One cloud had lifted but one remained. Today was one of Aggie’s nights off and he wanted to spend time with her.
He was just about to knock on the door when Atticus looked up from his recliner and saw him.
“Liam, come in.”
“Thanks. Don’t want to keep you from anything.” He felt like a teenager asking for a date under the scrutiny of an overbearing father.
“No, you’re fine. I was going to go out and grab a paper once the news finishes, but it can wait. Did you want to talk to me?”
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