How to Date a Witch

by Rose Pressey

  I flashed my teeth and then took off in a loop back toward my apartment. He’d better stay away too. That took care of him, but there was still the witch. I had a feeling they were working together. As I neared my place, I felt that the shift was happening. I had it down to almost perfect timing. I’d been able to run down the sidewalk with little attention as a werewolf. Most people always thought I was a large dog. It also helped that I moved so fast that they didn’t have a chance to get a good look.

  I raced up the building steps. All was quiet when I stepped back into my apartment. I couldn’t believe that Jennifer had slept through that. As soon as the thought left my mind fear raced through me. What if he’d been in her room? What if she wasn’t okay? As I moved down the hallway, my phone alerted me to a text message. Jennifer’s door was still shut. I couldn’t answer the phone yet. I had to check on her. I grabbed the doorknob and eased the door open, almost afraid of what I’d find. Jennifer was in her bed. She rolled over, but was still asleep. Thank goodness she was safe.

  I hurried into my room and grabbed my phone. There was a text from Jack.

  Thinking of you. I couldn’t sleep.

  Thinking of you too, I typed back.

  Not waiting for a message back, I dialed his number. I’d feel better if I heard his voice. I wouldn’t tell him about what had happened. I didn’t want to worry him.

  Unfortunately, Jack didn’t answer. I looked at the screen. That was odd. Maybe he’d fallen asleep in the seconds since he’d sent the text.

  “Is everything okay?”

  I screamed and tossed the phone onto the floor. Jennifer screamed and immediately took her karate stance.

  “What’s wrong?” Jennifer asked breathlessly.

  “I’m sorry. You scared me.”

  “What are you doing up? Is everything okay?”

  I watched her expression for a moment. Apparently, she had no idea that someone had been in the apartment. It was probably best that I didn’t tell her. Though she had a right to know.

  I sighed and said, “The witch was here.”

  Her eyes widened. “Here in our apartment?”

  “In my bedroom. It could have been a dream though,” I said.

  Fury flashed in Jennifer’s eyes. “We need to go to that address right now.”

  “Now?” I asked. “It’s not even light out yet.”

  “That’s probably for the best. We can sneak up on her.”

  As much as I hated it I knew she was right. I had the address, now I needed to go. I’d been putting it off, hoping that the witch would leave me alone. That wasn’t going to happen.

  “We?” I asked.

  “I’ll go with you,” Jennifer said. “And don’t tell me no. I can’t let you do this by yourself.” She held her hand up. “I know what you’re going to say, you don’t want to drag me into all this. Well, that ship has sailed long ago.”

  I nodded. “Okay.”

  She frowned. “Okay? You mean you’re not going to fight with me?”

  “Nope,” I said.

  She puffed out her chest. “I’m glad that’s settled. Now I have another idea.”

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “There’s someone else who needs to go with us.”

  “Who?” I frowned. I wasn’t asking my mother or Nana to go to the witch’s place. Besides, there was no way they’d want to get up at this time of morning. Though it was almost time for Nana to get up. She woke up at six every morning.

  “I think we should ask Lily to come with us.” Jennifer cringed.

  “What?” I yelled. “Why would we do that? That’s punishment. I’m already stressed enough.”

  She held up her hand. “Just hear me out. I know it’s a gross thought, but that witch ran when Lily said something to her. Lily is the scariest person we know. I think the witch will be intimidated by her.”

  “Why would Lily agree to go with us?”

  Jennifer scoffed. “You know her. She loves this stuff. Any time she gets to insult someone she’s happy.”

  “That’s true. Demented ideas are Lily’s specialty.” I sighed. “Okay, I guess we should ask her.”

  “Okay, let’s get dressed and go get her.”

  I didn’t even want to think about how grumpy Lily would be when we woke her.

  After I dressed in jeans and the custom-made “Werewolves Do It Better” sweatshirt Jennifer had bought for me, we headed out of the apartment. Lily lived with her husband now. That meant we were neighbors. As if having her creep of a husband as a neighbor wasn’t bad enough, now I had Lily. Instead of coming over to borrow a cup of sugar, she came over to borrow steaks, steak sauce, beef, chicken, and any other groceries she could get away with. Jennifer and I walked down the alley that separated the two buildings. I scanned the surroundings to make sure the witch and the guy weren’t around. So far it was just us.

  “Lily,” I called up to the window.

  There was no answer.

  “Lily,” I called out again.

  “She is never going to hear you like that.” Jennifer placed her hand in her mouth and whistled.

  The sound echoed down the alley.

  “Hey, Lily, get your ass out of bed,” Jennifer screamed.

  Oh, dear. Just then the door opened. Phil stepped out onto the balcony.

  “Oh, my eyes,” Jennifer screeched.

  He was wearing nothing but tightie-whities. He scratched his nether regions as he stared at us. Then Lily appeared.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” she snapped.

  She was grouchier than I thought.

  Chapter 14

  How to Date a Witch Rule #14

  Tell her how much you like her black cat

  “We came here to ask you something,” Jennifer said.

  Lily folded her arms in front of her chest. “It had better be good. Or else I’m going to pulverize both of you.”

  I waved my hands. “Now, Lily, there’s no reason for violence. It’s nothing like you think.”

  “Well, what do you want?” she demanded.

  “We want to ask you for a favor,” I said.

  She laughed as if that was the funniest thing she’d ever heard. “A favor? Why in the world would I do you any favors?”

  I looked over at her husband, who was currently picking his teeth. “Well, if it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have met your dreamboat husband.”

  Some people would have thought that would have been a negative, but for Lily it was a positive. Hey, love was blind… love was in the eye of the beholder. Maybe Phil was a great guy, and he just reserved his suave and debonair side for Lily’s eyes only. She just didn’t want the rest of the world to see. However, this was Lily we were talking about, and she didn’t exactly like the same things as other people. Though I still remembered how much Phil leered at Jennifer and I before Lily came into the picture. Now he only did it occasionally.

  “So what is it that you want? Hurry up. I’m losing my patience,” she said.

  “Losing it? You mean you lost it a long time ago.” Jennifer snorted.

  I poked Jennifer in the side to remind her not to provoke Lily.

  “We want to see if you’d visit the witch with us. The one who cast that spell on me. You, know, the mean one,” I rushed my words, as if that would make it better.

  “Yeah, the one where I had to scrape you up off the pavement.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yes, that’s the one.”

  “Why should I do that?” she asked.

  “Well, because she’s after me,” I said.

  Lily quirked an eyebrow.

  “And you can insult her,” I added.

  A look of interest flashed in Lily’s eyes. She sighed. “All right, I’ll go with you, but it has to be fast.”

  Lily disappeared back into the apartment. Phil stood there smiling at us. Lily popped back out, grabbed his arm, and yanked him inside. I assumed Lily was going inside to dress and then she would meet us at the front door. At least
I hoped she dressed. I hoped she didn’t invite Phil. Jennifer and I walked around to the front.

  “When are we going to tell her that it’s an hour drive?” Jennifer asked.

  “An hour from now,” I said.

  Jennifer laughed. “Good luck.”

  After a couple minutes, Lily appeared in her jeans and white V-neck T-shirt. She put her bouncy curls up in a ponytail. “Let’s do this.” Lily cracked her knuckles. It looked like she was ready to rumble.

  It wasn’t long into the drive when Lily asked, “Where the hell are we going?”

  I cringed. Now it was time to confess that it wasn’t right around the corner. She momentarily insisted I stop the car, but luckily, I convinced her otherwise. Thank goodness she hadn’t jumped out. Soon the congested area turned into trees and overgrown bushes. The glow from the headlights illuminated the secluded and scary landscape.

  “You’re like a dumb mouse heading right for the trap. You just can’t resist the cheese.” Lily leaned forward from the backseat.

  “Thank you, Lily, for pointing that out.”

  “No problem,” she said with a click of her tongue.

  We pulled down the long dirt driveway and came to the old house. It looked like something out of a scary movie. There were no other cars or any other signs that anyone actually lived there. We got out and headed up to the front door. Something moved in the nearby bush and I jumped.

  My nerves were on edge. What would happen if I was hit with another spell?

  “So what are we going to do?” I paused in front of the door.

  “Knock?” Jennifer asked.

  “I say we break the door down,” Lily said as she flexed her muscles.

  I eased over to the window and peeked inside. It looked like everything was gone.

  “This place is abandoned,” I said, looking around. “Either we have the wrong address or someone is playing tricks on me.”

  Maybe the witch knew I was on my way to find her and took off. Or had Roger given me the wrong address? Why would the witch be scared enough to leave? She’d been following me around. She would be more than happy to confront me.

  Just then, Lily turned the door knob and pushed. The door opened and she stepped inside. I momentarily lost my breath, thinking that something would happen, but there was no screams or fighting, so I guessed it was safe for us to go in even though I was still nervous. What if the witch showed up? We stepped inside and sure enough, everything was gone. It looked as if it had been abandoned for a while.

  “I don’t think she was really living here.” Jennifer walked around the room.

  “I don’t think so either,” I said, moving down the old hallway.

  “This place gives me the creeps. I think we should leave.” Jennifer rubbed her arms.

  “I agree. Let’s get out of here.” I motioned toward Lily.

  “Are you all really that chicken? We should just look around some more. What if the witch comes back? We want to confront her.” Lily pounded her fist against the palm of her other hand.

  “I don’t think she’s coming back,” I said. “I’ll have to find out where she’s really staying.”

  Lily shrugged. “It’s your mistake.”

  As we headed toward the door, I glanced down and noticed something on the floor. It was a pendant with a green stone and silver pentagram.

  “What do you think of this?” I picked it up. “It looks like something from the witchcraft store.”

  “Interesting,” Jennifer said.

  “I think I actually saw something like this at the shop. I have to go back there again, although I really don’t want to ask the woman more questions.” I stuffed the thing into my pocket and headed out to the car.

  Even though I wanted answers, I was glad that I hadn’t had to confront the witch. That time would eventually come.

  We had just gotten into the car when I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. Then I saw him. The guy who had been in my apartment last night was on a motorcycle.

  “Hey, there’s the guy. He’s been following me.” I pointed.

  What was he doing here? He looked right at us, so he knew we were aware of his presence.

  “Go after him,” Lily said.

  Lily wanted to go after everyone. It wasn’t a coincidence that he was there. I just had to find out what the connection was between him and the witch. He revved his bike and then took off down the long driveway. Dirt kicked up in the air like a dirt storm had hit. I shoved the car into reverse, then into drive, and took off down the driveway. I wanted to catch up with him.

  “Run over him,” Lily said.

  “I can’t run over someone, Lily. Stop it. You’re scaring me.”

  She just shrugged, as if it was no big deal.

  “You’re so violent,” I said.

  “Hey, it gets me through this life,” she said. “You’d do well to toughen up yourself.”

  “Okay, just calm down,” I said.

  Jennifer was staring straight ahead in stunned silence. Lily was a little too tough. Once out onto the main road, we gave chase to the guy. He kicked it into high gear and drove the bike into places that I could never get a car. He took off at a high rate of speed. There was no way to catch him. No matter how great my driving skills were I would never catch up with him.

  “You should have let me drive,” Lily said. “I would have gotten him.”

  “Yeah, and run over him,” I said.

  Lily hit the back of the seat. “You’re right. We need him alive to find out every detail.”

  Jennifer was too scared to even talk. As we made it to an intersection the motorcycle was nowhere in sight. He had gotten away. We were out here in the middle of nowhere and that was slightly terrifying. What if the witch and motorcycle guy ambushed us? I’d kept that thought to myself.

  “I just think that we should go home,” Jennifer said.

  At least she was talking now.

  “I don’t think we should go home. We need to find this guy.” Lily almost had a hint of a growl in her words.

  “How would we find him?” Jennifer asked.

  “Actually, I know where he lives,” I said.

  “What?” Lily said. “What are you waiting on? Let’s go there now.”

  “What are we going to do when we get there?” I navigated a curve.

  “We’re going to find out what he wants. I’ll beat it out of him.” Lily shook her fist.

  “Did you see the muscles on that guy? I think he might put up a good fight,” I said.

  “I think you seem to forget that we are werewolves,” Lily said with a click of her tongue.

  “Yeah, well, I already tried that with him.” I made a left turn.

  “What happened?” Jennifer asked.

  “He was kind of scared, and I didn’t get a chance to talk to him.”

  “So there you go. Perfect. Head to his place.” Lily pointed.

  “This is probably a bad idea, but I’ll do it,” I said.

  Lily smiled with satisfaction. Jennifer looked as if she might be sick.

  After we arrived back in New Orleans, I parked the car and we all got out at the same time. We headed down the sidewalk like some sort of weird Charlie’s Angels.

  “This is the building.” I gestured. “He lives on the first floor, but I think the door is probably locked. I saw some people using keys to get in there.”

  “We could break in the window,” Lily said.

  “We can’t break in the window. I don’t want the police here. That’s criminal activity,” I said.

  “You’re such a goody-two-shoes, Rylie,” Lily said.

  “Yes, well, that may be, but at least I won’t be in jail.” I eased through the bushes to the window and peered inside the apartment. It was empty, just as the house that we’d just left had been.

  “There’s nothing there,” I said. “He was just there this morning. How could he have moved so quickly?”

  Lily gave me a look as if to say she thought I
was losing my mind.

  “Are you sure about all of this?” Lily asked.

  “Of course I’m sure. I know what I saw,” I said.

  Lily twirled her index finger next to her temple.

  I moved away from the window. “Let’s just get out of here. I’ll have to figure out what I’m doing before I can make any other plans.”

  “Maybe you should see that psychiatrist boyfriend of yours.” Lily snickered.

  “That’s it, Lily. I may be a goody-two-shoes, but I’m not scared to kick your ass. So just be quiet.” I poked Lily in the chest with my index finger.

  Lily reached over and grabbed my hair. It was a good thing I wasn’t driving. Jennifer let out a scream and reached forward, trying to grab Lily’s hand off me.

  “Don’t make me beat your ass today,” Lily,” I said as I tried to shove her away.

  Finally she released her grip and stumbled back a few steps.

  “You really need to take some anger management classes.” I smoothed down my hair.

  “You started it.” She pointed.

  I glared at her. “You started it with the wisecrack about Jack.”

  “I’m just telling you to seek help.” She smirked.

  “My mental health is perfect, thank you very much,” I said.

  Jennifer and I marched toward the car. Unfortunately Lily came along too. She didn’t speak to me the entire ride back. Did she think that was a punishment? Luckily, we weren’t far from the apartment, so I could finally get rid of Lily. It had been a bad idea to ask her to come along. She got out of the car and slammed the door shut, not even looking back.

  “Good riddance,” Jennifer said.

  “She’ll be back,” I said.

  As we got out of the car and headed back to our place, my phone rang.

  I pulled the phone from my bag. “Oh, it’s Jack.”

  Jennifer gestured. “I’m going inside. I’ll see you in a bit.”

  I nodded as I answered the phone.

  “Hey, gorgeous,” Jack said when I answered. “How’s it going?”

  “I was beginning to think maybe you were lost.” I laughed.