by Rye Hart
His thumb moved along my chin and slipped along my lower lip. My insides were turning to jelly as we stood there, gazing into one another's eyes. The way he looked at me was the way he used to look at me before we'd make love, and it set my heart racing.
God, Gabe had been so amazing in bed. The mere thought of it sent shivers of remembered pleasure coursing through my body. I recalled the way he'd pay attention to every inch of my body, taking his time with everything, and drawing out the ecstasy between us. He was a giver, but he was also aggressive and knew how to take what he wanted – and back then, what he wanted was me.
“If you've ever trusted me, Hadley, please know, I would have never, ever cheated on you,” he said, leaning closer – close enough that our lips almost touched. “I'd never have chosen any girl over you. That's the absolute truth.”
I stepped backward until my back was against the wall, and Gabe moved with me. His breath was hot against my face, his fingers stroking my chin as he stared into my eyes. I wasn't sure which one of us made the move first, but our lips met, and it was like an explosion had gone off inside of me. My hands roamed over Gabe's body, pulling at his shirt as his mouth devoured mine, kissing me with all of the heat and passion that built up after all the years apart.
Gabe pulled back for air, then moved his lips softly down my neck. My body shuddered as his fingertips brushed my breasts. All these years, I'd wondered if he still cared about me, if he still wanted me the way I wanted him – and I had my answer pressing into me. His erection rubbed against my body, making me hotter and wetter than I'd been in a long time, and I was tempted to lift up my skirt and tell him to fuck me right there.
Then, a knock at the door startled us both.
“This door isn't supposed to be locked,” a muffled sounding voice called to us through the door.
We both stared at each other, grins tugging at our lips, clearly amused. Amused at least, until we heard a key turning in the door.
“Oh shit,” I muttered, chuckling.
“Hide,” Gabe said, trying hard not to laugh out loud as well. “In there.”
I hurried and ran into the first stall, jumped up on the seat, and pulled legs up against my body. I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly and quietly as the door opened. “Sorry,” Gabe said, and I heard the sound of water running in the background. “I didn't realize the door was locked. Must have hit it by mistake.”
I stifled a giggle, suddenly feeling like a teenager all over again. We'd almost been caught having sex – or getting ready to – many times back then. It had always been something just like this. I was amused to realize all of those old feelings – the rush of adrenaline, the sharp stab of panic, and the overwhelming sense of amusement – hadn't dulled with age.
Gabe spoke the man smoothly. He'd always been able spin a story or talk his way out of trouble. He was a good liar. Me? Not so much.
I held my breath, waiting for the word that it was clear. I heard the door close and when Gabe knocked on the stall door, I opened it up. He stood there looking as sexy as ever, smiling at me with the same smile he's always had.
“Well if that doesn't bring back some memories,” he teased.
“Yeah, tell me about it,” I said. “I was just thinking that.”
When I stood up, our eyes met, and he looked more serious than before.
“Listen, about that – ” he said, quickly averting his gaze and bit his lip before continuing. “We probably shouldn't rush back into each other's arms again just yet. Not after everything that happened. We should probably take a little time and think about things.”
My heart dropped, but I knew what he was saying. I understood where he was coming from. Despite our shared history, there was still a lot of pain.
“Yeah, I agree,” I said.
Deep down though, I didn't believe I did actually agree. I knew it was the right thing to do. I straightened my skirt, and pushed my way past Gabe, my cheeks burning and red. I tried not to look at him, knowing that tears filled my eyes, and that if I looked at him, they would surely fall.
“We should be getting back to the gang,” I said. “My son will be wondering where I'm at.”
CHAPTER SIX
GABE
It's not that I didn't want Hadley. It was just the opposite, actually. I wanted her so bad, it hurt. I'd never stopped wanting her. Things were just – different now. She’d had a kid with my best friend, and there were still a lot of hard feelings left between us. It wouldn't be easy to overcome all of that, especially not in a matter of days.
Maybe in time, we'd be able to patch things up, but our priority needed to be Grayson. Not ourselves. He was the only real link I had to Chris left in the world and I wanted to build some sort of relationship with him. If things went south with Hadley again, well, I might lose my shot at getting to know the little guy – and I wanted to avoid that at all costs.
When we got back to the table, we found an extra person had joined us.
Rebecca. Evan's ex.
I cocked an eyebrow in his direction as I retook my seat, and he shrugged. It was Jared who filled us in on everything that had transpired while we'd been occupied in the restroom.
“Rebecca happened to be in the neighborhood and spotted Evan's car in the parking lot,” Jared said, trying hard not to shoot our brother an obnoxious smirk. “She asked if she could join us, and Evan said it was fine.”
Rebecca stood and shook my hand. “Nice to see you again, Gabe,” she said.
I let my hand fall away from the handshake and didn't return the salutation. To tell her I was happy to see her would have been a lie, and I didn't lie. Especially when it came to people I didn't like. No reason to be polite after everything she'd done to my brother. The fact that she was sitting at the table with us was enough to turn my stomach.
“I don't believe we've met,” Rebecca said, her eyes zeroing in on Hadley. “I'm Rebecca, Evan's girlfriend.”
“Ex-girlfriend,” I corrected for her.
Rebecca ignored me, though I saw the flash of annoyance and anger that crossed her face, her brown eyes scrutinizing Hadley instead.
“Uh, well, I'm Hadley,” she said. “I’m an old friend of the Walker boys.”
“Oh, right. Yeah. I've heard about you,” Rebecca said.
Rebecca had taken the seat next to Evan, which meant that we had to adjust our own seating a little bit when we sat down.
“Good things I hope?” Hadley said, smiling politely.
“MmmHmm,” Rebecca said almost dismissively, as she picked up a menu and perused it. “What should I get, sweetie?”
“I don't know. Whatever you normally get,” Evan said, his cheeks flaring with color.
I kicked him underneath the table and shot him a look. He flinched then glared at me. “Sweetie?” I mouthed to him – and again, he just shrugged.
Hadley and I exchanged a look, while Jared sat down at his end of the table, looking amused. He was grinning as he watched it all play out, clearly enjoying the drama. All he needed was a bucket of popcorn and he'd be good to go. I, on the other hand, wanted to keep my little brother as far away from that witch as humanly possible. She didn't deserve to be sitting at the same table as him. “So Rebecca, where do you plan to live once the house sells?” I asked, trying to drive home the point that they were done. “Thinking of moving back to Denver?”
She raised those big, chocolate brown eyes and stared at me, a smirk on her lips. She started to answer me when Katie brought out our food to the table.
“Aw, I didn't know you had someone joining ya,” Katie said. “What can I get ya, sweetie? I'll try to hurry it on up.”
“She's not staying,” I said, stopping Rebecca before she could even speak. “She was just leaving, actually.”
“Uh, no, I was going to have the chicken salad actually,” she said, closing the menu. “And a Diet Coke, please.”
“Make that to go, please,” I said.
Everyone else at the table, and the wa
itress too, just stared at the two of us. But, I didn't care. I'd had enough. It was obviously going to be a battle of wills between Rebecca and me, and so be it. After the shit she put my brother through, I wasn't about to sit there and pretend like everything was normal. Like everything was okay. She was the one who screwed up. She was the one cheating on him. She was the one using him. She was the one who fucked up. Not me.
Finally, Evan spoke up. “You know, Rebecca, I really wanted to spend time with my family,” he said. “Maybe you should head out.”
I leaned back in my seat, arms crossed in front of over my chest. I couldn't take my eyes off Rebecca. She turned to Evan and gave a less-than-friendly smile, a dark look crossing her face.
“Fine,” she said.
She stood, and without saying a word to anyone else, including poor Katie, she pushed through a crowd of people coming out onto the patio and left in a huff of anger and hurt feelings. Beside me, Hadley breathed a sigh of relief. Jared looked almost disappointed. Evan was the one I was most worried about though.
“She has some nerve,” I muttered.
I excused Katie, letting her know everything was fine and we all started on our meals. I was seething inside though. I couldn't stop thinking about how Rebecca was trying to weasel her way back into Evan's life – and I was upset with my brother for nearly letting her. “Yeah, she's trying to get back together with me,” Evan said, shrugging. “Thinks we can put it all back together.”
“She's delusional,” I said.
He stared down at his plate, not touching his food. Pushing his glasses up on higher on his nose, he started to say something, but then stopped himself, and closed his mouth again.
Hadley said, “Well, I obviously missed a lot.”
“You don't want to know,” Jared said. “That chick is a real piece of work.”
“She's not that bad,” Evan said softly.
“Excuse me?” I said, very nearly spitting out my drink. “I did not just hear you defend that horrid wench. Did I?”
Hadley reached out and touched my arm, as if trying to communicate to me that I should calm down. I pulled away from her and continued staring at Evan.
“Gabe, maybe we should just drop it,” Hadley whispered.
“Yeah, can we just drop it and enjoy our lunch? Please?” Evan said. “Instead of fighting in front of Grayson.”
I turned my attention back to Grayson, who in turn was staring back at me with wide eyes. The expression on his face almost made it seem like he was afraid of me. I recalled Hadley saying that Grayson wasn't big on conflict. She said he was a sensitive boy – even more so these days, it seemed.
I sighed. Evan and I would have a talk later, but for the moment, they were right. We needed to throttle it back, relax, and enjoy the afternoon together.
“Fine, let's eat,” I said.
“And get back to planning our get-together tonight,” Jared said with a grin.
I stared at him, and he shrugged. I had to wonder if Jared every took anything seriously. I wasn't much in the mood for a get-together anymore, but whatever.
“What? I rarely get a Saturday off,” he said. “I want to enjoy it. Is that a crime?
With everything going on with Hadley and me kissing in the bathroom, the last thing I wanted to do was sit around in a hot tub drinking with her. As if I needed to be tempted any more than I already was. I needed to keep my distance and perspective. Needed to get my head on straight when it came to her.
At the same time though, the idea of seeing her in a bikini was incredibly enticing and almost too much temptation to pass up.
“I think it sounds like fun,” Hadley said. “I'll text my mom, but once Grayson goes to bed, it shouldn't be a problem.”
Evan nodded. “Yeah, it would be fun to unwind and catch up.”
It came down to me. Everybody turned and looked at me, the weight of their gazes heavy.
“Then let's do it,” I said.
***
“Listen, Gabe, about what happened in the bathroom –”
As soon as we were back in the car, heading home, she brought it up. I knew she would. She never was one to let things die. “I'm sorry about that,” I said, keeping my eyes on the road. “I shouldn't have let it get that far.”
“No, I don't blame you, I mean – I know I shouldn't just expect things to go back to the way they were. It wouldn't be right to Chris and his memory, for one thing. I loved him. I really did,” she said.
“I know you did,” I said softly.
I saw it in the way she looked at him. I remember though, that she used to look at me like that too, though. Once I was out of the picture, Hadley fell hard for my best friend, and she fell fast too. The two of them were good for one another. It killed me to admit it, but it was true.
They had the life I always wanted for myself. A loving relationship, a baby, everything I'd envisioned having with Hadley myself one day. Sure, I had the career, but I lost everything else I wanted out of life. And now I knew why. My blood boiled as soon as I remembered the conversation we'd had about Jessica.
“It's weird though,” she continued, resting her head against the back of the seat, “even though I loved him with all my heart, I never stopped loving you too. How is that even possible?”
Her words sent a jolt of adrenaline through me, making my ears perk up. “You still loved me?”
“MmmHmm,” she said, turning her head, watching me carefully for my reaction. “I know it sounds terrible, but it's true. I loved you both. Hell, I've loved you most of my life. I know it sounds horrible.”
I thought about it for a moment and answered honestly.
“I've never loved anyone like I've loved you. Not even after we split up and I dated other people. I never felt for them what I felt for you. Not even close.”
Her mouth opened in a perfect O, then closed again. She turned and went back to staring straight ahead, not saying a word as we drove down the street to her mother's house. I glanced in the rearview mirror and noticed that Grayson was asleep in his seat, his breathing even and peaceful. He looked so much like Chris. I would have been lying if I said there wasn't a part of me that wished he could be my son. “I guess, I just see things differently, that's all,” she said softly.
“Oh yeah? How so?” I asked.
“I just think it's silly that you can love many people, but only be in love with one person,” she said.
“The whole idea of soulmates seems ridiculous to me. That there's only one person who genuinely fills you up and completes you. Just because I loved Chris doesn't mean I loved you any less. Differently, but no less. It would be just like if I had another child, I wouldn't love Grayson any less.”
I gripped the steering wheel tighter, my jaw clenching, but didn't say anything. I had nothing to add to that. Was she basically telling me that she was in love with me still? If so, why? What did she hope to accomplish with that? “Love isn't a finite resource,” she continued. “That's just what I believe.”
Her brow was furrowed, and she seemed deep in thought. I pulled into her driveway, still not saying anything. When I parked the car and went to get out, she grabbed my arm. I looked at her.
“Did I upset you, Gabe?” she asked.
Her blue eyes were so clear and deep, I could drown in them. Her gaze was so direct and penetrating, it felt like she could see inside of me. I stared into those eyes for a long time to collect my thoughts and gather my words before answering.
“No, I just don't agree with you,” I said. “Not that it matters.”
She nodded and let go of my arm. “You always were a romantic at heart,” she said, a small smile pulling at her lips.
“I'm not sure it's about romance, Hadley, it's practicality. The more people you involve in a relationship, the more conflicts you have to deal with. The more complicated things tend to get. The more risks there are,” I say. “Love might not be a finite resource, but your time and attention is. I just feel like if you're in love with someo
ne, they should be your partner. They should be your everything. They should be the one person who gets all your attention and time, above all else.”
“It's more about romance than you'd like to admit,” she said.
She leaned in as if to kiss me again, and I didn't pull back. Her lips brushed my cheek, followed by her hand. She stroked my face and gave me a sweet, but sad smile.
“You really are a good man, Gabe,” she said. “I really hope you find your partner one day soon. You deserve it.”
A lump formed in my throat, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. She stepped out of the car and then opened the back door. Without her asking for help, I jumped out and offered to carry Grayson inside for her, which she graciously accepted. She carried his car seat, and we walked side-by-side into the house.
Grayson rested in my arms and weighed nothing at all. His eyes didn't even flutter open as I carried him. He was out like a light. Holding him in my arms caused a tightness in my chest, a pain deep inside me. I so badly wanted this life for myself, I thought. A beautiful wife, a beautiful child – I wanted it.
Hadley was right about one thing – I wanted to find my partner in life. My person. But deep down, I knew that there was only one person I wanted to spend my life with. There was only one partner who'd fit the bill for me. She was standing right next to me.
We entered the house, and Hadley instructed me to lay him down on the couch.
“He'll only be out for a little longer anyway,” she said.
I gently laid my best friend's son down on the couch, brushing the hair from his face. God, he was so beautiful. Everything about the little guy filled my heart with such joy.
“I'll see you tonight, right?” Hadley said as I was about to leave.
“Of course,” I said, plastering a fake smile on my face. “I wouldn't miss it for the world.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
EVAN
I drove around for a bit after leaving the cafe. My mind was spinning in a million different directions and I was having a hard time keeping up. Seeing Rebecca again always did that to me – especially when she acted so normal. When she acted like a sane, decent person, part of me wanted to believe we could work everything out. That everything between us could be okay again.
