“Those financial companies will suck the life out of you. Ash has some clients whose families barely see them. Sometimes all it can take is a bad investment decision or losing one high-profile client and the company lets them go immediately. No room for error.” Drew pulled out his wallet and dropped a ten-dollar bill on the table. “Take that.”
“Don’t be an asshole. I’m paying. You’ll get the next one.” Jordan pushed the money back and saw a smile tug at Drew’s lips.
“There’s my Jordan. Glad to have you back.” He pocketed the money. “Well, I think you two make a good couple if you’re ready. But he’s nothing like Keith, am I right? He’s very serious and quiet. Ash said he was like that even as a boy.”
Ignoring Drew’s not-so-subtle prying, Jordan chose to satisfy his own curiosity. “Why did Ash leave home? I’m sure you know. Lucas refuses to talk about it, but I know it’s the reason he’s walled himself off from everyone. He’s so resentful of Ash.”
Shutters rolled down over Drew’s face, eliminating his good humor, surprising Jordan. “I can’t say; it’s not my story to tell. What I can say is that Lucas is wrong about Ash’s feelings and past behavior. Once he was in a position to do so, he never stopped looking for his brothers—Luke or Brandon. It’s all he thought about, and it almost killed him. He still has an investigator looking for Brandon, even now.”
“You saved him, didn’t you, like you always do. You’re a rescuer, Drew. It’s what makes you so special.”
Drew shrugged. “I don’t know about that. He saved me too, from living a life without passion, and never taking chances, always allowing other people to tell me what to do.”
“Like me, right?” Now that they were being totally honest with one another, Jordan couldn’t help but ask.
“Yeah. I said it before. You had to let go and let me make my own choices. Being with Ash is the best thing that ever happened to me. I only hope you open your own heart again and find someone. There’s so much love in you; there always has been. You need someone who can appreciate you. And if it’s Lucas, then we’ll all somehow work it out together, like a family.”
Jordan’s head whirled as they left the diner. He and Drew made plans to meet again, and he watched his friend walk away. He should’ve told Drew about the pills. If he was ever to try and have a real relationship with Lucas, he needed to give them up. Who knew if that was even a choice anymore? Fear spiraled through him at the mere thought of doing without them. As a doctor, he knew the incessant cravings, the slight shakes, and loss of focus were signs he was heading toward disaster. There was only so much Jordan could have other doctors cover for him. Maybe now with Drew back in his life, Jordan could talk to his friends again and ask for support. For the first time, he was the weak one, the one who needed help.
But if he didn’t stop now, sooner or later his heart would give out from the strain of the drugs. He no longer wanted to die; that had been the grief and anger taking over. Spending time with Drew again was all it took for him to remember how good life had been, what he’d been missing out on.
Determination rose within him, fierce and hot within his blood, to take back his life.
“Drew,” he called out, and Drew, who’d only made it halfway down the block, stopped and turned around. Jordan jogged over to him. “Could you call Mike and come over tonight? I need to tell you guys something.”
Chapter Thirteen
Christ, it felt good to be home. Luke pushed his suitcase into the living room, then slammed the door behind him. After being away so long and living in so many hotel rooms, his apartment seemed enormous. He was a little afraid to open his fridge, remembering too late, when he stepped on the plane over a month and a half ago, that he’d forgotten to throw out whatever food he had.
A quick toss into the trash remedied that situation. He’d deal with the rest of the cleanup later. First he needed a shower, then a power nap. Funny, he’d never received an answer from the text he’d sent Jordan earlier after the plane had landed. Hmm. Maybe Jordan was in surgery or with a patient. Shedding suit jacket, shirt, and tie as he walked to the bathroom, Luke gazed with longing at his bed. He couldn’t wait to relax, but he first needed to wash away the travel dirt and feel clean again. Then Luke would call Jordan and see how the final arrangements for the center had worked out and how Jordan was feeling now that he had given up the pills. Surely by this time, he’d made significant progress. After all, Jordan was an incredibly strong-willed person, and he hadn’t been taking them that long.
After his shower, Luke settled into bed, relishing the smooth sheets and familiar comfort. Nothing like your own bed after a long trip, even if he slept alone. His mind wandered back to that afternoon with Jordan. The sex had been nothing short of amazing, but that wasn’t what kept his interest piqued. Something about that man, all skin and bones and blazing arrogance, had intrigued him from the moment Jordan had walked into his office. Secretly, he’d been a little envious of Keith since he’d first seen a picture of Jordan. Luke had always had a thing for the blond-haired, blue-eyed Nordic type, but it was more than his looks that intrigued him so about Jordan.
Self-confidence with a touch of ego was a huge turn-on for Luke. He never went for the helpless type or a man who needed to cling tight. When they were young, Ash, fearless and arrogant, had been Luke’s hero. He shook his head angrily. No way would he allow Ash to intrude on his thoughts, especially where Jordan was concerned.
Even from their first meeting, when Jordan lived in his darkest, most sorrowful place, his natural leadership qualities and pride had shone through, making him a damn sexy man. Luke thought about all the times he’d wanted to call him this past month, simply to say hello or maybe engage in a little transatlantic raunchy phone sex, but hadn’t found the right moment. Later, after his nap, as his mind was too clouded now by sleep to think anymore, he’d call Jordan and arrange to get together. He turned over on his side and hugged the pillow close as his eyelids drifted shut.
The room came into focus, shrouded in darkness. A quick glance at the luminous dial of his bedside clock showed the time at nine thirty. Shit. He’d slept for almost eight hours. He rolled out of bed and stretched. Damn, he’d really needed it, though. Energy now hummed through his body, and his stomach growled.
Predictably, the food had been lousy on the plane thus he’d had very little to eat the entire day. Maybe Jordan would want to catch a quick bite, even late as it was, so he reached for his phone to call him. Thinking maybe Jordan had called or texted him while he was sleeping, he checked his messages first.
Nothing. Hmm, that was strange. His stomach clenched at the thought that something might’ve happened to Jordan while he was away. Maybe the drugs…shit no. He would’ve heard something, right? Without stopping to think, he hit the button for Jordan’s phone. It went straight to voicemail. Now more than a little concerned, he scrolled down to the lesser used landline number. It rang three times; then finally, someone answered.
A dog barked in the background, and Luke couldn’t help but smile. He’d missed Sasha too.
“Hello?”
That didn’t sound like Jordan’s voice. “Uh, hi, is Jordan there?”
“Who’s calling?”
The voice sounded familiar, but he still couldn’t place it. “It’s Luke.”
“Oh, hey, Luke, it’s Drew.”
Luke relaxed. Right. Drew. Why wouldn’t he be there? Jordan and he were best friends, and even though their friendship had been strained, Luke was glad Jordan still had his friends in his life to support him.
“Is he there? I got back a few hours ago.” Wow, he was smooth. Could he sound any more like a bumbling idiot?
“Yeah, sure, hold on a sec.” Luke heard Drew call out. “Jordy, Luke’s on the phone.” Luke could only make out a low murmur of voices; then Jordan came on the phone.
“Hello.”
The curt, almost unfriendly tone of Jordan’s voice surprised him. “Hey, Prep School, didn’t you get my te
xt before? I got home earlier and fell asleep for the whole afternoon.”
He laughed, then stopped as he realized he was laughing solo. “What’s the matter? Is everything all right?”
“Everything’s fine.”
Yeah, right. Ice cubes radiated more warmth than Jordan right now. “Bullshit. What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing. Thanks for calling, but I’m a little busy right now.”
“But—”
Click.
What the fuck?
“Son of a bitch.” The walls echoed with his angry growl. “That bastard hung up on me. Who the hell does he think he is?” He picked a pillow off his bed and threw it across the room, unable to fathom why Jordan would be angry at him. Luke stormed across the room and picked up the pillow to place it back on the bed. Since everything looked better on a full stomach, he decided to bring the mountain to Mohammed.
A little more than an hour later, he waited on the top step of Jordan’s brownstone, a bag of Magnolia Bakery cupcakes in one hand, the other holding takeout from his favorite Italian restaurant. He pressed the bell and waited. A grin spread over his face as he heard the frantic barking of Sasha and Jordan pretending annoyance, shushed her. The curtain covering the glass part of the door parted, and Luke met Jordan’s eyes. The curtain fell back.
When the door didn’t open after a moment or two, Luke rapped on the glass. “Come on, Prep School, let me in.”
Another few heartbeats, then the door opened. Sasha jumped up on him, whining and licking whatever part of him she could reach. Luke couldn’t help but laugh as he made a fuss over her, then followed her into the house after kicking the door closed behind him.
Faint moonlight streaming in through the kitchen windows outlined the silhouette of Jordan’s body standing by the center island. As Luke walked down the hallway to join him in the kitchen, he had the chance to admire Jordan’s broad shoulders, tapering to a narrow waist and slim hips. Muscles that hadn’t been there before now rippled slightly under his tight white T-shirt. Luke’s entire body hardened as Jordan tipped his head back, draining his drink.
“Jordan.” With a muttered curse, Luke dropped the bags on the island and pulled him close, his mouth hungry for a taste of Jordan’s lips. It was as electric a feeling as before, their mouths coming together in a clash of lips, tongues, and teeth. He palmed Jordan’s firm ass as he rubbed himself against the tight body he’d dreamed about these past weeks, lying alone in his hotel room. He could feel the thick length of Jordan’s erection through the thin sweats he wore. “Damn, I’ve missed this.”
It took him several moments to realize that Jordan had stopped responding. He wasn’t hugging Luke back, and after that heady kiss, his lips had gone hard and unyielding. Luke pulled back, confused at Jordan’s withdrawal.
“What’s the matter with you? Is anything wrong? I thought you’d be glad to see me.” His knuckles brushed along the fine bones of Jordan’s cheek. Jordan shivered in response but stepped out of his arms to circle the center island in the kitchen, placing the wide slab of granite between them like a great divide. He dropped down onto one of the stools and splashed some vodka into his glass. Straight vodka, Luke noticed.
“I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” His tone, in direct contradiction to his words, spoke volumes. It came out cold and clipped, not at all the way you sounded when you were happy to see a person after he’d been gone for so long. With the practiced ease of a long-standing drinker, Jordan downed half the glass.
“Well, for starters, I texted you hours ago, and you never responded. Then earlier when we talked, you hung up on me.” Luke busied himself by taking out the food—baked ziti and chicken parmigiana—from the bags, arranging it on plates as he spoke. “I brought us some food and dessert. I figured we could catch up.” He grinned, hoping Jordan would smile back at him.
No such luck. Those pale blue eyes remained as flat as when he’d first seen him months ago.
“I’m not into playing games, Lucas, nor am I here for you to have a quickie whenever you want your itch scratched.” He picked up his glass and drained it, but Luke saw the slight shake in his hand.
“Are you okay? You’re trembling.”
Jordan slammed his glass down with such force Luke couldn’t believe it hadn’t shattered. “Don’t play this bullshit with me. You leave and all I get are e-mails or calls asking how I physically feel from the withdrawal. Have I given up the pills? Not one single time did you ever call simply to talk. You’re the first man I’ve touched since Keith. Do you know what it meant to let you into my bed?”
Damn. With hindsight, Luke now understood he should have made the time to talk to Jordan about things other than the center or his drug use. “I’m sorry. I should’ve realized it.” Even to his own ears, that sounded like a fumbling excuse.
“The only thing you care about is the drugs. Now you walk in here and expect what? A quick fuck?” He pushed up off the stool and advanced on Luke, his blue eyes now alive, blazing with anger. “For the record, listen well. No one uses me.”
“That’s not true. You couldn’t be more wrong.” Luke defended himself, shocked by the anger and hurt on Jordan’s face. “I wished I could’ve called more. I tried as best I could, but I was busy. I was running from early morning until late at night.” Never in his wildest imagination had it occurred to him that Jordan might be hurt by Luke’s constant questioning about Jordan’s withdrawal. Luke thought he was showing concern for Jordan when he asked about the drugs. Didn’t that show he cared? Then again, what the hell did he know about this relationship thing? Luke never had anyone who gave a damn where he was and what he was doing. “I’m not playing games. I-I didn’t know it mattered to you, that I mattered. I’ve always been on my own.”
Jordan’s anger deflated. He turned away and braced his hands on the top of the island, head bent, but his shoulders remained tight with anger. “I’m sorry I snapped. I guess it’s that you’re the first man I’ve been with since—”
“Since Keith, yes, I know.” Luke walked up to Jordan and slipped his arms around him, laying his cheek on Jordan’s head. “I should’ve been more sensitive to that fact, and I’m sorry.” He kissed the top of Jordan’s head, inhaling the unique scent of his warm skin and aftershave. Intoxicating. His senses reeled, desire spilling through his veins like water rushing into a dry riverbed. The hard ridge of muscles on Jordan’s stomach clenched underneath Lucas’s splayed fingers.
A shudder passed through Luke’s body as he nuzzled the heated space where Jordan’s neck curved to meet his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’ve thought of nothing else these past days, knowing I was coming home and you’d be here.” With frantic hands, he pulled off Jordan’s T-shirt, revealing his pale, golden skin, then turned him around so they were finally face-to-face. “You’ve been working out, Prep School, huh?” He touched the soft flesh of Jordan’s shoulders with his fingertips and traced the defined swell of muscles that hadn’t been there a month earlier. Luke’s fingers dug into Jordan’s bicep to yank him closer so their lips were but a breath apart. “I feel the difference. Your body’s harder than it was before.”
“You have no idea.” Jordan gritted the words out before thrusting his hips forward.
Luke staggered slightly, then planted his feet wider to stand firm. The heaviness of Jordan’s erection continued to rub against Luke’s own straining cock. “So am I forgiven?” Their gazes locked, his own need reflected in the fire kindled in Jordan’s eyes. “Say it, so I can give you what I know you want. I feel it, right here.” He reached down between their bodies and cupped Jordan’s cock. It swelled further beneath the thin fabric, which grew damp even as he held him. In one swift move, he yanked down Jordan’s sweatpants and, without breaking their intense eye fucking, took Jordan’s now-exposed cock in hand and began to stroke.
It came as no surprise to him when Jordan reciprocated by unsnapping Luke’s pants, letting them fall to his ankles. “I’m sorry too. I’m pushing too hard. We ne
ed to get to know each other better.” A wicked smile curved his lips. “How’s this for a start?”
Luke’s breath caught as Jordan took their cocks into his strong yet elegant hand. He collected the wetness seeping from the tips and spread it over their shafts, all the while continuing the friction, which soon had Luke swaying on his feet, his head buried in Jordan’s neck. “God, Jordan, what you do to me.”
Frantically, they both stepped out of their pants and kicked them away, then Jordan continued the stroking and rubbing of their cocks together and whispered in Luke’s ear. “You matter more than I can say, so I’m going to show you. I’m going to make sure you’ll never be able to forget me again.”
Before he could stop himself, Luke blurted out, “I could never forget you.”
Jordan’s hands faltered, then proceeded to perform wicked twists and turns, his fingers dancing and stroking up and down the lengths of their hard shafts. Luke knew it was only a matter of time before he blew up and incinerated. The heat of their bodies and the sounds of their naked skin, slick and wet, set his blood on fire. “Oh God.” His breath rasped in his throat as his body tightened, and his cock began to throb.
“I didn’t know where I stood.” Jordan’s lips rested against the corner of Luke’s mouth, planting small kisses on his lips. “If what you said is true, it means everything to me.”
Unable to speak with the conflicting emotions running through his mind, Luke bent and captured Jordan’s soft, yielding mouth. Everything melted away: his fear of commitment, the self-imposed loneliness, and the walls he’d built so strong and high to keep everyone else out. Nothing else mattered but this man and how right he felt in his arms.
The scent of Jordan, mingled with the warmth of their bodies and the sharp tang of sweat and sex, melded together into a concoction he didn’t mind being addicted to. The kitchen walls swam before his eyes as his vision blurred. Strong hands continued to massage his cock and his balls. That soft skin over his hardness felt tender, each touch sending waves of aching pleasure through him.
After the Fire Page 14
