After the Fire

by Felice Stevens

  “I think it’s time you rested and took a nap. Why don’t I help you upstairs?” Jordan heard the steely determination in Lucas’s voice and quickly acquiesced. Bed sounded good—great, in fact. There was nothing he wanted more than to lie down with Lucas next to him.

  Thank God Jerry also understood. “I’ll be in touch, Jordan, and I’m thrilled you’re doing better.” He shook hands with Lucas and squeezed Jordan’s shoulder. “Don’t get up. I’ll show myself out.”

  A minute later the door rattled shut and Lucas locked it behind Jerry. Quiet descended upon him, and without him needing to ask, Lucas gave him something for his headache. The two of them sat in the stillness, the afternoon shadows deepening. Sasha padded in to lie at his feet, her eyes never leaving him.

  The pain in his head receded, and he sighed. “This was really nice. Thanks for getting everyone together.” He kissed Lucas’s slightly scruffy cheek.

  Never comfortable with praise, Lucas shrugged. “It was nothing. Everyone helped put it together.”

  “Uh, I saw you speaking to Ash earlier. Care to let me in on what it was about?” Hoping against hope the two men would continue to make headway toward reconciliation, Jordan held his breath.

  “We agreed to meet tomorrow night. Here, if that’s all right with you.”

  “Are you fucking crazy?” A huge grin split his face. “What time?”

  Beneath him, Lucas’s chest rumbled with laughter. “Seven o’clock. I’ll be home from work by then.”

  Jordan smiled, and Lucas cleared his throat. “I mean, I meant…”

  “I know what you meant. I’d been meaning to speak with you about this very thing.” Taking both of Lucas’s hands in his, Jordan knew he made the right decision. “You have every right to call this your home. I want to share my days and nights with you. Would you move in here, with us?” He glanced down at Sasha, who, thrilled at having some attention directed her way, put her paws on his lap and barked twice.

  Lucas laughed and hugged him, careful not to squeeze him too hard. “Are you sure you want me, Prep School? I’m a real bastard in the morning, as you’ve seen sometimes.” His hazel eyes glinted, and Jordan’s body stirred to life.

  “I know what I want.” Jordan slipped his hand into Lucas’s. “Right now, I want you to take me upstairs and get into bed with me.” He could hear the quickening cadence of Lucas’s breath, and it matched his own rising excitement. “I want to wake up with you under me or over me. I want you inside me.” He pulled Lucas up from the sofa and together they walked out of the room.

  When they stood at the foot of the stairs, he grabbed Lucas around the neck to pull him close. His lips rested against the firm line of Lucas’s jaw, and Jordan breathed in the light citrus scent of Lucas’s aftershave. “I love you, Lucas.” Pressed tight against each other, the unmistakable bulge of Lucas’s heavy erection prodded Jordan, and his stomach clenched tight.

  Lucas’s deep voice drawled slow and sexy in his ear. “I love you too. But I want you to be sure. It’s only a little over a year since you lost Keith. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right where I want to be.”

  Jordan took Lucas’s hand and started up the steps. “I’m sure of two things right now. I’m sure I’m going to be screaming your name sooner rather than later.”

  Lucas sprinted ahead of him and tugged at his hand. “I’m ready for that as well.”

  They entered the bedroom, and Jordan unbuttoned his shirt, then tossed it carelessly into the chair by the window. With renewed strength, Jordan twined his arms around Lucas’s neck, kissing him until they were both breathless and shaking. “And I’m sure I don’t want to be without you ever again.”

  “You’ve got me, then.” Lucas’s strained voice shook.

  Jordan found himself being walked backward, and his legs soon hit the bed. He allowed himself to be pushed down, and Jordan lay flat on his back, admiring Lucas’s broad, muscled chest. “Hurry. I’m so hard for you, I won’t last long.” He stroked himself through his jeans.

  Lucas’s eyes gleamed in the fading light. “Keep your hands off. That’s mine alone to touch.” Jordan’s breath caught in his throat when Lucas’s fingers brushed the skin of his abdomen. “Lift up for me.” Lucas’s lips curved in a wicked smile. He popped open the tab of Jordan’s jeans.

  Jordan didn’t hesitate and moaned in relief when his cock sprang free. “Fuck. I want you now. Hurry.” Any pain in his side faded with the onslaught of desire flooding through his bloodstream.

  Lucas shucked his own clothes, leaving them in a heap on the floor, then crawled onto the bed, caging Jordan between his muscled arms. The brush of Lucas’s hard cock against his sent a shiver of excitement coursing through Jordan.

  “Patience. I’m gonna give you everything you want and need.” Their lips met in a hot, wet kiss, tongues pushing against each other, teeth clashing.

  Jordan’s head spun.

  Desire for Lucas overwhelmed him, and he couldn’t control his cries. “Lucas, please.” He hungered to feel Lucas’s strong fingers wrap around his straining cock, and he reached between their bodies and began to stroke himself, his hand getting wet and slick from his precome.

  “I told you no touching.” Lucas pulled Jordan’s hand off his cock, replacing it with his own. “Your cock, your balls, every fucking inch of your body is mine.” Jordan writhed beneath Lucas, sliding his hard, wet cock through Lucas’s fist. “You like that, huh? Tell me, Jordan, what else do you want? You want me to suck you?”

  Through hazy eyes, Jordan saw Lucas lick his lips. “God, yes.” He was almost sobbing in his need to have Lucas’s mouth on his dick.

  He almost screamed with pleasure as the heated, wet slide of Lucas’s mouth enveloped his erection. “Oh fuck, oh God.” He couldn’t help thrusting his hips, and the juicy, slick sounds Lucas made around him played like music to his ears. As promised, Jordan screamed for Lucas as the orgasm slammed into him and his body convulsed. He opened his eyes to the air shimmering around him, shining and alive with the electricity that seemed to pour off his body in wave after wave of sexual pleasure. His cock jerked and pulsed, sending his seed down Lucas’s throat.

  Thoroughly shattered to oblivion, Jordan lay gasping, his damp body still quivering with the aftereffects of their lovemaking. Lucas sat above him, a small smile resting on his lips. His cock remained hard and flushed pink, the head wet and gleaming in the rapidly fading light.

  A beautiful sight, Jordan decided, and reached up to stroke Lucas’s chest. “Come. Lie down next to me. I want to taste you.”

  Jordan grasped Lucas’s thick erection and stroked him with a firm, sure hand, reveling in the needy sounds coming from Lucas. All he wished for was to give this man pleasure.

  Ignoring his protesting ribs, and knowing Lucas was too far gone at this point to tell him to stop, Jordan raised himself on his knees and took Lucas in his mouth, the taste of him bursting over his tongue. Lucas’s cock filled his throat, but Jordan didn’t let that stop him from making love to it, swirling his tongue over the ridged vein while keeping a firm grasp at the base.

  Lucas moaned and thrust upward, fucking his mouth. “Oh fuck, what the hell are you doing?”

  Jordan couldn’t answer. On all fours, he bent over Lucas’s body and kept up a steady rhythm. He smiled around Lucas’s cock and slid a finger inside his passage, feeling the tight muscle clamp around his digit. Jordan sank in deeper.

  Lucas moaned, thrusting against his hand and Jordan shivered, his mouth tightening around Lucas. He sucked and swallowed, teasing and fluttering with his tongue, and within minutes, Lucas came. Jordan swallowed, then collapsed on the bed, his trembling legs no longer able to hold his weight.

  Gutted and shaking, he lay next to Lucas, their damp bodies barely touching. Night shadows flickered across the moon, playing patterns across their naked bodies. His eyes fluttered shut and before he fell asleep Lucas entwined their fingers and pulled him close.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

&nbs
p; Of all the days to be late, it had to be this one. The entire downtown line was delayed because of a sick passenger, and Luke had zero sympathy. He didn’t have a seat, the train was overcrowded with people, and the air-conditioning blew lukewarm air, sending the aroma of whatever the guy leaning against the pole was eating, drifting past his face, making breathing almost unbearable.

  Finally, with a lurch and a squeal, the train started up again. It was only two stops until he reached the 18th St. station, but in New York City travel time, that could take five minutes or a half an hour. By the time he emerged from underground and stopped to heft his backpack further up his shoulder, the sun had set already. Luke checked his watch and grimaced at the time. Almost seven thirty. He should’ve been home an hour ago. They’d asked Ash and Drew to come by at seven. His stomach cramped, as it had been doing all day. He’d barely been able to choke down any food, thinking about tonight.

  Him and Ash, together. Talking to each other for the first time in almost fifteen years.

  What the fuck had he been thinking? What would he say to Ash, and more importantly, what the hell did Ash think he could say to Luke that could ever make up for leaving? He drew in deep breaths, thinking somehow his mind would miraculously clear and his heartbeat would slow down instead of banging around like an out-of-control conga-line drummer.

  He turned the corner on his street, forcing himself to push forward. The taste of dread lay thick in his mouth and throat. Fight through your fears. Own and control it. That’s what Jordan had said to him, and he’d used that as a mantra. Goddamn it. His grip tightened on the strap of his backpack.

  He wasn’t afraid of Ash; why should he be? It wasn’t Luke who left, slinking out in the dead of night, pretending he’d come back for them. All those weeks of waiting and hoping, seeing Brandon’s face light up when the mail would come, big eyes bright with hope, only to fall and crease in disappointment as he bravely held back the tears when no letter from Ash came. Ever.

  No, Luke wasn’t that scared kid any longer, and he wasn’t alone. He had Jordan and Wanda. Since he’d known he wouldn’t be able to eat lunch today, he’d gone to the shelter to talk to Wanda. To say she was thrilled with the news that he was moving in with Jordan was an understatement.

  “Baby doll, I knew he was the one who was gonna get under your skin and find a home there.” She hugged him long and hard, smothering him with vanilla-scented kisses and love. “Both of you needed someone so badly, but I was afraid you’d shut the door on him like you did everyone else.”

  His heart squeezed as he looked at her loving face. “I tried,” he admitted, recalling his attempts to forget Jordan. “He’s very persistent.” And ultimately unforgettable. Jordan lived his life the way he came after Luke; unashamed, unafraid, and unapologetic for his actions, whether they were right or wrong. What was it Ash had called him once? A proud and arrogant bastard. Perhaps, but underneath it all was a man who loved deeply and fiercely. A man who was unswervingly and unflinchingly loyal. A man who cared for the unwanted. Luke counted himself lucky to be the one who got to see the side of Jordan few ever did. A tender, caring man who took in a homeless dog or sat with a child from the shelter, helping her with schoolwork because her mother had to work late.

  He took Wanda’s calloused, gentle hands and kissed them. “Life is mysterious. We think we’re in control, but we’re only holding on for the ride, trying not to lose our grip.”

  “Your man holds on to you tight. He loves you so.” She wiped her eyes. “Now it’s time for you to make up with that brother of yours.” She held up her finger when he tried to stop her. “Promise me you’ll listen to what he has to say. You may be surprised,” she said with a smile. “Like you said, life is mysterious.”

  He opened the front door, and Sasha greeted him. He bent down to pet her, then straightened up and listened. Again his gut twisted as he heard laughter coming from the kitchen. Shit, fuck. Closing his eyes and counting to ten, he took a deep breath and headed to the back of the house. By the time he entered the kitchen, he’d managed to at least put together an outward appearance of a man in control. Meanwhile, on the inside, his teeth bit down on his inner cheek until the pain made him focus on the scene in front of him.

  “Hello, everyone. Sorry I’m so late, but the trains were really fucked up tonight.” Without looking at either Drew or Ash, he instead concentrated on Jordan.

  Jordan’s eyes lit up, and he slid off his chair to greet him. “There you are. I was getting concerned. Come on and sit down. Drew and Ash brought sandwiches, and I’ve got a beer waiting with your name on it.” They kissed, and he sank down in the chair next to Jordan and took a long, grateful swig of his beer. While it tasted great, it unfortunately did little to quell the nerves playing havoc with his system. Underneath the table, Jordan squeezed his thigh, leaving his hand to rest there, offering comfort and support.

  Showtime.

  “So.” He placed his beer bottle on the table and, with a calm he didn’t feel inside, stared at Ash. “Why don’t we get this over with?”

  Ash’s mouth tightened. “Is that all this is to you then? Something to check off your To-Do List?” He pushed Drew’s hand off his shoulder. “Don’t. I’m fine.” Anger seeped out of his words. “I’ve waited years to talk to you. Now that the time has come, I won’t let you rush through it.”

  What a joke. “You don’t get to make the rules. Maybe when I was young and naive, I let you be in charge. Those days are gone. Long gone.” If Ash thought he was in control here, he’d find out soon enough how wrong he was.

  “When we were kids, I looked up to you—worshiped you. You were my older brother who could do no wrong. My family. Then you walked away without a backward glance. You knew we were too young to come with you when you asked me to. You had no trouble forgetting who you’d left behind. So no. You gave up any right to tell me what to do when you forgot about us.”

  With each word, Ash shook his head with increasing ferocity, his breath expelling in quick, hard bursts until he interrupted Luke with a harsh cry. “It’s not true. I swear. I never forgot. I searched for you, and even though you changed your name, I never gave up. Never. I still haven’t given up on Brandon.” His hand slammed down on the table. “I won’t let you dismiss me now.”

  “Maybe you should have thought about the reason why I changed my name.” Luke’s voice shook. “Maybe I didn’t want you to find me.” Luke dug his nails into the scarred wooden top of the table. “You left and never looked back. You didn’t fucking care.”

  Something dark flickered in Ash’s silvery eyes. “That’s not true.”

  This dancing around the elephant in the room was getting them nowhere. “You haven’t got the guts to admit it to me; that’s fine. I’m not even angry anymore because I’ve finally gotten what I’ve always wanted.” He took Jordan’s hand and held it. This man was his rock. His family. Ash, however, still needed to hear the ugly truth.

  “It doesn’t matter anymore because I have Jordan. But when you go to sleep at night, I hope you can admit to yourself what you did to Brandon and me. That you left us alone with a vicious drunk and a physical abuser who also liked to touch young boys.”

  Ash visibly flinched. Luke pushed ahead with his gruesome story. Perversely, he wanted Ash to hurt and to hear from Luke’s lips the carnage he’d left behind.

  “He left me alone for two years after you left. Every once in a while he’d look at me funny or make a strange remark to me. I ignored it but made sure to always look out for Brandon. But one night he came into my room and tried to touch me. I screamed so loud Mom—Mrs. Munson—and Brandon came running into my room. I told them to leave, get out. Go to Mrs. Cartwright down the road.” He blinked to try and forestall the rush of tears at the memory, but it did no good. “So they left and I remained alone with that bastard. He laughed at me, thanking me for getting us alone together.”

  Memories of that night flooded his mind. For over twelve years he’d kept it bottled up, but n
ow the doors were flung open and evilness waited, ready to be revealed in all its ugliness.

  “He tried to pin me down, but I went berserk, punching and kicking him. When he pulled out his gun, I thought that was it. I was going to die.”

  “Lucas.” Jordan breathed. “You don’t have to do this. It’s over now. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

  Luke’s laughter caught in a sob. “It’s never going to be over. Don’t you see? It’s like a brand, burned into my mind. Every time I close my eyes I see him, that monster.” Like a movie playing in his mind, Luke heard the sickening thuds of Munson’s boots against his flesh and recalled the excruciating pain as the man kicked him with his steel-toed boots, all the while holding the gun over him. Luke barely felt Jordan put his arm around him, holding him, soothing him. Loving him.

  The pain receded as, for the first time in years, he cried for the child he’d been.

  “I love you, Lucas. And I’m so proud of you for this. You’ve beaten your demons. You’re in control.” Jordan gently touched his lips to Luke’s, and he kissed Jordan back like a drowning man breaking the water’s surface. Needy, desperate, and gasping.

  Several minutes passed before he regained his self-control. After he’d dried his eyes and taken a cold drink of water, he watched as Drew murmured something in Ash’s ear. Oh no. Ash wasn’t going to be stroked by his boyfriend and made to feel better. Luke wanted him to feel what Luke had gone through, smell the fear and the blood and sweat, as if Ash had been in that very room when he and Munson were fighting to what seemed like the death. Because Luke had no doubt that if he hadn’t passed out that night, he’d have died. Munson must’ve gotten scared and fled when Luke failed to move and respond.

  “Do you know that was the last time I ever saw Brandon? I never got a chance to see him or say good-bye. At some point I passed out from the pain, and when I woke up, I was in the hospital. Later on they told me someone had called the police, saying I’d been hurt during a break-in at the house. I was alone, unconscious, and the Munsons had taken Brandon and disappeared. I never saw any of them again. By the time I recovered and was discharged, they’d left town, and no one knew where they’d gone.”