Hot Under the Collar

by Roxanne St Claire

  “Does that mean stay or go?”

  But the dog was silent, and weirdly content, and somehow that just made the decision harder.

  * * *

  Braden refused to open his eyes even though his inner body clock said it was past six and time to get up for his twenty-four-hour shift that started at seven. He didn’t want to see the slivers of early morning light between the slats of his blinds. Didn’t want to put his feet on the floor and instantly see Jelly Bean’s dusty-gray head pop up with a look that said he knew it was a workday. Didn’t want to leave Cassie asleep in this bed next to him.

  Because the minute this day started, this night—this blissful, satisfying, comforting night that had been spent entwined with each other—would be over. Everything would be over.

  Temporary would slip into long-distance and that would soon become sporadic until it all ended up as…what used to be.

  He swallowed noisily against a lump in his throat, and immediately Jelly Bean stirred from his bed on the floor, then lifted his head with an expectant look. He knew what rising at six a.m. meant—twenty-four hours at the fire station.

  Except, shouldn’t Braden take Jazz with him, to work on handling between calls? Of course he should; he was way behind in working with the dog. So he’d have to leave early and swing by Waterford to board Jelly Bean.

  He slid his legs out from the covers and put his foot on the ground, but it landed on something slippery and cool. Bending over, he saw a spiral notebook that one of the dogs must have nudged out from under the bed.

  Lifting it up, he recognized the handwriting of a numbered list…of to-do items before the scavenger hunt. He turned the page, inching back when he saw the word Braden at the top in purple ink with little scribbly doodles around it. On the first line, there was a numeral one and the words figure out what to do. Damn, girl. She really did write everything down.

  Next to him, the sheets rustled. “You’re awake.”

  He let the paper fall back to cover that page and show her list. “I found a to-do list on the floor.”

  “Oh.” She turned and pushed some hair out of her face. “I’ve been looking for that notebook.” She took it and put it on the nightstand on her side of the bed. “Where are you going?”

  “Work.” He let his gaze travel over the part of her body where the sheet dropped, automatically sliding back in to touch her. “In a minute.”

  Without a second’s hesitation, Cassie slid even closer, her silky thigh ribboning over his bare leg, her tender fingers traveling across his chest. “You okay?”

  “Bracing myself for what’s ahead.”

  “A twenty-four-hour shift?”

  He blew out a breath. “If only that were all.”

  “Braden. I’ve been thinking.”

  He stared at her, silent. Here it came. Here came…long-distance.

  “We could still make this work if I’m in Chicago.”

  “Or if I am,” he whispered.

  Her eyes shuttered closed. “Your family would never forgive me. Worse, you’d never forgive me. That’s not even an option on the table.” She shook her head. “You can visit, though.”

  “It won’t be enough.” He pulled her closer, deeper into his chest. “So you’re taking the job?”

  She sank back down on his shoulder, quiet. Long enough for him to know the answer.

  “That’s good,” he said before she could formulate an answer that would just be BS anyway. She was going. “That’s the right thing to do.”

  “Are you sure? Because I’m not. Not at all.” She traced one finger over his chest, circling the heart that was breaking inside. “There’s a lot to love in this town,” she whispered. “A lot.”

  For a long moment, he didn’t move or breathe or dare to hope. “Cassie, if you don’t take this job, every time you got called into Santorini’s when they’re short-staffed, you’d think about how that wouldn’t happen if you were in Chicago. Every time you step out of your apartment in Bitter Bark, you’d think about how it’s so sadly on the second floor. Every time we’re together, you’d blame me for your lost opportunities and dreams.”

  “And then you’d kiss that right out of me, put me on this bed, and do that…that…” She bit her lip. “You know, what you did last night when I kind of scared the dogs with a scream? That.”

  He almost smiled, but what was so much fun in bed last night had already become a bittersweet memory. “What happens when the sex isn’t enough?”

  “Oh, since that’ll probably be sometime after the next decade, I’m not worried.”

  He turned his head to look at her, lost as always in the very depths of her impossibly dark eyes. “I don’t know what’s going to happen over time, but I do know this: you should take that job.”

  Very slowly, she nodded, and his heart cracked a little bit more.

  “And I hate to say goodbye, but…” He managed to slide away from her. “I have to take care of the dogs and get ready for my shift.”

  She held on a little tighter. “Braden. We need to figure this out.”

  Long term, long-distance wouldn’t work. He knew that like he knew his name. One of them would be in a constant state of disappointment. “Tomorrow.”

  “I’m supposed to leave tomorrow.”

  He tamped down a very dark curse and climbed out of bed, grabbing sweats he’d left on the floor. “I don’t have a ton of time this morning,” he said, signaling to Jelly Bean to head to the door, and Jazz followed, too. “I have to take Jelly Bean to board at Waterford until my shift is over.”

  “I’ll take him,” she said without a nanosecond’s hesitation.

  He slowed in the doorway and looked back at her, trying not to moan at the sight of her naked in bed with her hair cascading like a black veil over her shoulders. “Jelly Bean,” he repeated. “I’m taking Jazz to work on handling training between calls. Until chief gives permission, I can only take one at a time.”

  “I know the difference between the dogs.” She sat up, pulling the sheet up and denying him a view of her breasts. Didn’t matter. They were burned into his memory forever. “Jelly Bean and I are making progress, Braden, and I can take him to the square today for the bake-off. He’ll love it much more than a kennel at Waterford.”

  “That’s not exactly a clean break, Cass.”

  She tossed the sheets down with a little frustration. “I don’t want a clean break, Braden.” Sliding out of bed, she walked right to him, completely, breathtakingly, astonishingly naked. “I don’t want a break at all.”

  He stared at her for a minute, letting his gaze fall over her, which just made his brain go numb and the rest of him go…not numb. If he didn’t move, he was never going to make it to his shift on time. “I’m taking the dogs out,” he said, his voice like sandpaper as he headed toward the kitchen.

  No surprise, she was waiting for him in the kitchen when he came back in, dressed in a T-shirt of his that reached her thighs. She handed him a cup of coffee and nodded to the two food bowls. “I got them some food and water.”

  “Thanks.” He took the cup and held her gaze. “And of course you should take Jelly Bean today. He’d love that.”

  “Okay.” She stepped closer. “When should I get him back to you?”

  “My shift ends at seven Sunday morning. I usually sleep for a while, then go to Waterford in the afternoon. Will you be there?”

  She made a little face and looked away. “Not if I take a two o’clock flight out of Charlotte.”

  Then he wouldn’t be there either, because sitting at that table with the whole family knowing she was gone—

  “I’ll bring him over here in the morning when you get home. Then we can…”

  “Say goodbye,” he finished, lifting his cup and giving her a wry smile. “That’ll be fun.”

  “Braden.” She slid her arms around his waist and pulled him into a hug. “Why can’t we make this work?”

  Setting the cup on the counter, he returned the hug, pressing
her against him and planting a kiss on her hair. “Because you changed me, Cass. I went from having walls to wanting someone in those walls with me.”

  She leaned back. “Simone…might not have left yet.”

  He grunted, knowing she was not serious. “Scratch that. I went from having walls to wanting you in those walls with me. In my life and my bed and my arms. Every day.”

  “What happened to worrying about coming home every night?”

  He searched her face, and his heart, for the most honest answer he had. “That was just self-preservation and fear. That was not knowing a woman strong enough to handle whatever life threw at her. That was BC. And my life will never be the same since you infiltrated it. But I sure as hell don’t want to be the man who stomped all over your dreams and made you give up everything you ever wanted because I was another life situation that got in the way.”

  “You’re not a life situation, Braden.”

  “Then what am I?”

  She grasped him a little bit harder, agony all over her expression. “I don’t know,” she admitted.

  “Okay, I’ll tell you.” He took her face in his hands, holding her creamy skin and delicate features like she was a precious possession. “I am the man who loves you, Cassandra Santorini. And you’re the woman who made me want to throw away the old hang-ups and give life and love and forever a chance. The one who made me think about…about the whole enchilada. Marriage, babies, and growing old on rocking chairs.” He closed his eyes, shocked by his own admission. “I’m pretty sure I started thinking about that the first time I saw you. And I only got more sure every day.”

  “Braden.” She stepped back, just as shocked.

  Of course she was. This wasn’t what Cassie wanted, no matter what she said. And he wasn’t going to beg her, guilt her, or compromise his feelings into something that fit her plans.

  “I hope you find everything you ever wanted in Chicago, Cass. I hope you stand up on the twenty-sixth floor and look down at all the people you don’t know and wonder about them. I hope you are the powerhouse your dad thought you should be. I hope you have a thousand notebooks with things to do and are successful and…” He closed his eyes. “And in love. Whoever he is, he’ll be the luckiest guy on earth.”

  She stood there, staring at him, her hands over her mouth as if she had to hold in her response. But he didn’t wait for it. He didn’t need to.

  He took a step back, went to his room to dress, and when he came out, she and Jelly Bean were on the patio. He walked toward the door, seeing her with her head down, writing furiously in that notebook he’d found under the bed.

  On second thought, it was better not to let JB know he was leaving with the other dog. One broken heart was enough in this house.

  So he slipped out the front door, climbed into the truck, and sat for a minute, composing himself while Jazz settled into the passenger seat like she’d made this trip a hundred times. Or maybe he was just waiting for her to come running out here to profess her love and her decision to stay.

  When that didn’t happen, he pulled out and drove away, without saying goodbye to the woman and dog he loved most in the whole world.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Cassie and Jelly Bean arrived early to set up the Kibbles for Kindness fundraiser, so she was surprised to see Jace already in the square, already surrounded by contestants, cameras, and at least a dozen different dogs.

  Yikes. She shifted the pile of notebooks, a laptop, a fancy camera, and her phone from one arm to the other. Maybe she’d done too good a job of raising awareness for this event. Was that a TV station from Charlotte?

  Before he saw her, Cassie took a deep breath, not fully prepared for the conversation he, of course, would want to have. But in the middle of that mayhem, she couldn’t talk about his job offer, so she confidently powered forward and called Jace’s name.

  “Cassie. Thank God.” He managed to break away from one of the women who was waving a dog treat under his nose, jogging to Cassie to escape the crowd. “Please tell me the judges are going to be here soon,” he said under his breath. “Because these bakers actually think I’m going to taste their treats.”

  “I have a judge right here.” Turning to the bleachers, she carefully set her pile of work stuff down and tugged on Jelly Bean’s leash. “Darcy is bringing the others. She and Ella will manage them onstage, and you don’t have to do a thing except sit in on the interviews with the five finalists.” She glanced around. “Why is everyone so early?”

  “Anxious,” he said. “These ladies want to win. They’re trying to bribe me. Someone named Linda May tried to stuff something called a raspberry croi-treat down my throat. Newest thing, she said, croissants for dogs.”

  She snorted. “Best baker in Bitter Bark, or so her name tag says. Is Ella here yet?”

  “I haven’t seen her, but I need some help unrolling the Family First banner.”

  “I’m on it,” she assured him. “And let’s get you somewhere protected and peaceful.”

  “I knew you’d know what to do.” He added an expectant tilt of his head. “And I hope you’ve made your decision.”

  She inhaled and looked up at him. “I have, Jace, I—”

  “Cassie!” She turned at the sound of Ella running toward her, being pulled by three large dogs. “I got the judges! There are two more back there with Darcy and—whoa!” One of the dogs jerked his leash and made Ella stumble just as she reached them.

  “Whoa is right.” Jace practically scooped her into his arms, saving her from a face-plant. “Easy, girl.”

  Ella froze for a moment, then righted herself, her eyes flashing in a way that Cassie knew meant the wrong thing was going to come out of her mouth. “Girl?”

  Oh…boy.

  “I need your help,” Cassie interjected, taking the leash of a jumpy retriever. “Let’s get someone to watch these guys in the judges’ area, and then we’ll hang the banner and you…” She nodded to Jace. “There’s coffee and shade in the media tent, right near the Thad statue. Go relax, and I’ll be over when you’re needed.”

  His shoulders dropped as tension eased. “I knew hiring you was the smartest thing I ever did.”

  “What?” Ella choked the word. “You hired her?”

  He cringed, knowing he shouldn’t have said that. “Not officially yet, but—”

  “You’re taking her away from Bitter Bark? From our family? From my—”

  Cassie stepped right in front of her. “Ella. We have a job to do right now. A big one. Let’s focus on that so Jace doesn’t have to worry about anything.”

  It was enough to quiet her, but only until he was out of earshot.

  “You’re moving away?” The question was loaded with the same agony that had plagued Cassie all night, but had finally eased with this morning’s decision, which Braden had a right to know before anyone else.

  “Ella, I promise I’ll…” Her voice faded as her gaze moved across the judging area and landed on Gramma Finnie and Yiayia, both laden with baskets and bags, moving slowly, with Pyggie and Gala trotting behind them. “We have to help them.”

  Ella turned and didn’t hesitate even one second as they both hustled toward the older women who, even at nine in the morning, looked overheated.

  “Here, let us take those,” Cassie said, grabbing the basket that seemed to drag Gramma Finnie down.

  “Thank ye, lass. We had to park a mile away. There are more people here than yesterday for the dog show.”

  Ella elbowed Cassie. “That’s because Superwoman was in charge of publicity.”

  “Everyone wants their recipe to win a national contest,” Cassie said, taking a few bags from Yiayia. “Look how much trouble you two went to.”

  “Too much,” Gramma said, using her free hand to pat Yiayia’s cheek. “Poor Agnes can’t even speak.”

  Cassie turned to her grandmother in time to catch a flash of fury in her eyes, but it immediately disappeared. “I’m fine, Finnie,” she said. “Just a li
ttle winded.”

  But a closer look at Yiayia told Cassie she didn’t look fine at all. “You should sit down, Yiayia.”

  “I don’t need to…” Yiayia closed her eyes and seemed to sway a little. “Let’s just get our stuff set up.”

  “I will not,” Gramma Finnie said, crossing her arms and looking like she was digging her little rubber soles into the grass, “until you get off your feet and rest. I heard you working to catch your breath this morning.”

  “Yiayia!” Cassie exclaimed, searching her grandmother’s face for clues to her health. “You shouldn’t be out here in the sun all day.”

  “I’m fine,” she insisted, taking a step, but then closing her eyes and putting her hand over her chest. “It’s just warm.”

  “And only going to get warmer,” Cassie said, already making a decision she knew would be fought tooth and nail. “I’m taking you home.”

  “What? Like hell you…” She stopped, swallowed, and took a breath. “I don’t want to go home, Cassie. Dear.”

  The singsong voice had no effect on Cassie, who was already digging for keys from the purse hanging on her shoulder. “Ella, you have to step in and do my job while I get Yiayia home.”

  “I got it, Cass,” Ella agreed. “Darcy is already over there, and my mom just texted that she’s parking and on her way, too. We got this. I’m going to score Gramma Finnie some shade and a seat for her table.”

  “Oh, Finnie gets to stay, but I don’t? What kind of treatment is that?” Yiayia sounded very much like, well, Yiayia, with her hackles up and her back against the wall—the place she hated most in life.

  “Gramma Finnie doesn’t look like she’s about to keel over.”

  “I’m younger than she is.”

  Finnie stepped forward and once again put her hand on Yiayia’s cheek. “Sweet friend, if anything happened to ye, I’d be lost. Do this old lass a favor and get a wee bit o’ rest at home. Then come back and join me for the judgin’ and celebratin’ our new fame and fortune when our Dogmother Delights are the best-selling line for Family First.”

  Cassie watched Yiayia surrender right before her very eyes. “I guess I could use a little nap after last night.” She gave Cassie a sheepish look. “We were up until two baking.”