by Apryl Baker
And this is what I did to her. I made her become the old Mattie Hathaway, who cared about nothing and no one but herself. She had to in order to survive the psychotic vampire who’d taken her hostage. She’d gone soft since finding her family, her blood relatives and the people she’d chosen to be her family.
I regret doing that to her, but it saved her life.
“Where’s Dan?” My brother can’t find me here. No one can know I’m still alive.
“He’s in New Orleans with everyone else.”
The tension in my shoulders eases. “I…wait, how did you get here so fast? She just died and came back two hours ago. There’s no way you had time to hop a plane.”
She smiles, and it’s not pleasant. It’s the one full of teeth, and everyone in the room takes a collective step back. Even those of us sitting lean as far away from her as we can. She looks slightly maniacal.
“It’s the whole abomination thing.” Muriel snarls, and Mattie’s smile grows wider.
“I will smite you, demon of Heaven, and I will laugh when I bathe in your blood.”
Ethan goes perfectly still, understanding the threat in front of him. His shifter senses have to be all over the place. Mattie is not exactly evil right now, but she’s apathetic. Her conscience is hiding, letting the coldness take over to protect herself.
“Hilda…”
“Don’t call me that, Eli. You know I hate it.”
Now, that brings a smile to my face. She sounds so much like the old her when she warns me. She always hated that nickname.
“Please don’t threaten the people here. They don’t know you like I do.”
“You don’t know me, Eli. You know the version of me that Dan healed, but you never met this version of me, not really. You have no idea what you unleashed in that basement.”
No, I guess I don’t. I see the truth of it in her eyes. She could kill someone and have no regrets over it.
“Still, can you try not to threaten people who don’t understand how dangerous you are?”
She shrugs. “Your Angel over there started it.”
“She did, but that doesn’t mean you have to finish it.”
Again, she shrugs, saying nothing, and I know she will finish it if Muriel tries anything.
“The girl…she’s hurt badly?”
“It was a hit and run.” Ethan glances between Muriel and Mattie. “I’m Sheriff Ethan McReynolds.”
“Sheriff, this is Mattie Hathaway,” I introduce her.
“Do you think it was an accident?”
“No.” Ethan’s voice is firm. “It wasn’t an accident. They sped up, hit her, then drove away.”
“I’m sorry.” The faintest glimmer of the girl I knew shimmers to the surface, but it’s there and gone so quickly, I’d have missed it if I hadn’t been looking right at her.
“Our theory is they wanted to hurt the major before he could hurt them.”
Mattie’s attention turns to Ella’s father. “What does he mean?”
He doesn’t say a word.
“Tell me exactly what he means when he says before you could hurt them.”
The power in her voice is incredible. When she uses it, you can’t lie to her. It’s one of her gifts.
“My assignment was to take as many as we can and learn more about them.”
Her entire face morphs into outrage, an emotion I wasn’t sure if she’s still capable of in her current state of mind.
“You wanted to hurt people?”
“He didn’t think of us as people.” The censure in Ethan’s voice is unmistakable. “Not until Ella became one of us.”
“If you so much as lay a hand on Eli, I will strip the flesh from your bones, put you back together, and do it over and over until there is nothing left of your mind. I will make your life pain and suffering for an eternity. Do you understand me?” Her eyes have gone black with a golden circle.
“What are you?” Major Banks asks, cowering.
“What I am doesn’t matter. What matters is what I can do to you if you harm him. Are we clear?”
He nods.
“Good. I have to go. The others will be wondering where I am.”
“Mattie, you can’t tell them I’m here.”
She frowns.
“No one can know I’m alive. It’s part of the deal I made to come back.”
“As you wish.” She turns and starts to go through the door.
“Wait…”
Her eyebrow arches in question.
“I…I’m sorry for what I did to you. For all of it.”
“I know that.”
“I really do love you, Hilda.”
“I know that too. Goodbye, Elijah Malone.”
And she’s gone, poofed out of existence much the same as her demonic grandfather, Silas, a demon I am more than acquainted with.
“Will my daughter turn into someone as unfeeling as her?” Major Banks demands.
“No. That girl, that’s not the real Mattie Hathaway. She was taken a week ago by a psychotic vampire who got into her head, and the only way I could save her was to force her to go back to a place she hid when she was little. A cold, empty place where nothing could touch her. She had to in order to survive Kristoff. She’s not in any condition to help Ella right now, but maybe one day she will be.”
“She survived Kristoff?” Ethan asks, surprised.
“You know who that is?”
He nods. “He killed several of my wolves the night Madame attacked the Blackburnes. That Necromancer had some kind of crazy, so it stands to reason the vampires she controlled were just as demented.”
“Kristoff is a special kind of crazy, though. Be glad you never met him firsthand, Sheriff. Or that you never found yourself in his playroom. He loved to torture, both physical and psychological.”
“Eli, you’ll let me know if you remember anything else?”
“Of course. I’m wondering if maybe someone shouldn’t be here until Ella gets out of the hospital. She needs to be kept safe. And, Major, that someone needs to be another supernatural who will be able to discern if the threat is supernatural. Your soldiers can’t keep her safe, not like we can.”
Ella’s father looks like he just sucked a lemon, but tough. He needs to face truths, and the truth is he can’t keep his daughter safe anymore.
“I’ll have people I trust here around the clock, and I’ll stop by the school to let them know you’ll be doing remote work until Ella is out of the hospital. Headmaster Hershey needs to know why, but that is the only person who does.”
“Thank you.”
And with that, I take a seat and try not to focus on the only girl I’ve ever loved walking away from me yet again and instead on the girl fighting for her life who does need my help right now.
CHAPTER FIVE
Ella
Hello?
Is someone there?
The words don’t leave my mouth, and I groan in frustration. I yank at the bonds holding me yet again, but just like before, they don’t budge.
There’s something different here, though, something that’s not the things slithering around in the dark, wanting to eat me. This is brighter. I can tell that even in the darkness.
It creeps closer, and I go still, suddenly more afraid of whatever else is here than of all the things whispering around me. What is it?
The air goes frigid, and I shrink away from the cold. I’ve never been this cold in my life, not even in Russia. I got lost in the mountains when Dad was stationed there and almost froze to death before they found me. That doesn’t even come close to how cold I am right now.
“You’re dying.”
The words are emotionless, and that makes them all the more terrifying.
“Who are you, and how do you know I’m dying?”
“I’m Emma Rose, and I can see your soul’s struggle beginning to weaken, to want to just close its eyes and go to sleep forever. I’m like you, you see, but more.”
“Like me?”
“You died, and when you did, your gift woke up.”
She’s not making any sense.
“I don’t understand. You said I’m dying. How can I be dying if I’m already dead?”
“Eli got your heart started again, but that’s a moot point. You’re a living reaper, Ella. If you live and you wake up, then your entire life is going to become one nightmare after another.”
“What are you talking about?” I struggle harder against the bonds, desperate to escape this girl.
“Your job will be to help ghosts that are still on this plane move on, to cross over to the other side. But they won’t be Casper the Friendly Ghost. They’ll be mangled, bloated corpses who come to you the way they died. Some won’t be horrific, but others will. One minute you’ll be alone, and the next you’ll be surrounded by them, all reaching out, begging for help.”
“You’re crazy. There’s no such thing as ghosts.”
“Ella Grace Banks, be at ease.” A hand touches my face. It’s soft, but so very cold. Even colder than the air around me, and that’s saying something.
“What are you doing?”
“Seeing if you deserve my help or not.”
Everything around us is a vacuum of silence as she stands there above me, her hand the only thing I can feel. It’s like my body has ceased to exist, and all I am is the small patch of skin beneath her palm. It’s unnerving.
She sighs. “I had hoped you were not worthy of my help, Ella Grace Banks, but you are.”
I’m not sure what to say to her.
“Do you want to live, Ella?”
“Yes.”
“Even knowing when you wake up, you’re going to be living a nightmare?”
“I don’t want to die.”
“Very well, little reaper. I will help you. When you awaken, you’re not going to remember me or this conversation, but at least you will wake up now.”
Warmth floods me, chasing away the cold and bathing me in a yellow glow. I can’t open my eyes, but I can see that glow slip beneath my eyelids, and a peace settles over me as I drift into a state of unconsciousness, no longer afraid.
CHAPTER SIX
Ella
Pain.
It’s the first sensation I become aware of, and I whimper, trying to do something to get away from the feeling, but there’s nothing. It’s there, burning through my body like a wildfire. But even the pain can’t stop the cold from filtering in. It’s everywhere, and I’m shivering.
“Shh, baby, Mama’s here.”
My mother’s voice soothes me in a way nothing else can.
“Come on, Ella, open your eyes for Mama.”
Open my eyes? I try, but they’re so heavy, like when you’re asleep, but not really, but you can’t wake up either. Another whimper escapes when pain branches through my chest. Every breath hurts. What is wrong with me?
“Eli, are you sure she’s okay?” Mom asks.
Eli? The boy from school? What’s he doing here?
“Well, she’s not okay, but she’s not dying either, Mrs. Banks.”
“But…”
“It’s okay, Mrs. Banks. If she were dying, I’d know.”
How would he know if I was dying?
“They’ve had her in a medically induced coma for over a week. It takes time to wake up from that, Molly.” Dad sounds just as worried as Mom, but he’s trying to be strong for her. “We just have to be a little more patient. She’ll wake up when she’s ready.”
I’m so ready. Anything to escape this wonky feeling.
“She’s probably freezing now that she’s waking up.” That’s Eli. I remember the sound of his voice from school, but how does he know I’m cold? “I’ll go find some heated blankets we can swap out with the ones she has covering her now.”
Footsteps fade away, and I listen to my parents talk, their voices muted. I can feel myself slipping away again, and I fight hard to stay, to wake up.
“Mom, she’s moving!”
“She’s done this several times, Cecily. It means she’s starting to wake up, but she might not be ready yet.” Dad’s voice gets louder, like he’s leaning over me or something. Warm lips graze my forehead. “We’re right here, Ella. When you’re ready to wake up, we’ll all be here waiting.”
But I am ready, even if my body isn’t.
The blankets are pulled from me, but before I can shiver, warm ones replace them. Eli must have found more. I still don’t understand why he’s even here or why he’s so concerned about me.
Or where here is.
I don’t think I’m at home, though, but other than that, I can’t tell where I am.
“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.” Eli’s voice is hesitant when he speaks. “We can’t know what she’ll see when she wakes up, and if her new abilities are already in bloom, then having everyone here might be a little too much.”
“I’m her mother. I need to be here.”
“No offense, ma’am, and I know my own mother would murder anyone who tried to keep her away from her kids, but I’m still going to ask that you not be in the room. Outside, sure, but not in here. I don’t want to overwhelm her. It’s important to her well-being and her mental state. I need to explain what she might be seeing and try to reassure her.”
“I don’t know…”
“Molly, this is all new to you, but it’s not to me. We have to trust Eli. I know you want to be the first person Ella Grace sees, but that’s not what’s best for her. She needs him more than she needs us.”
“I still think this is a bunch of bulls…”
“Watch your language, young lady.” Mom’s sharp reprimand makes me want to smile even amidst all this confusion. Leave it to Mom to remind us of our manners in the worst of times. I agree with Cecily, though. I don’t know what’s going on, but I want my mom here.
Why is Daddy deferring to a boy I only just met?
None of this makes sense, and it’s so frustrating.
The voices become muted after that, my brain returning to its fog-like state. The whispers intensify, though. It feels like they’re beating at me, furious and demanding I hear them, but I can’t. There are too many.
But I don’t think these are the same whispers as before. These sound different. They don’t scare me like the others did. They’re not slithering though my head like snakes on the grass. These just feel lost. That’s the word. Lost. They’re the ones who are frightened and confused. But why do they think I can help them?
I can’t even help myself to wake up.
“Ella, you need to wake up soon. You’re really scaring your family.”
I know that voice…Eli. The boy from school. The one who was here before who shouldn’t have been here.
Why does he care if I wake up or not?
“It’s going to be scary when you wake up, but I’m here to help you. I’ll do my best to keep you safe, to help you navigate your way through the ghosts. They might send you a teacher I can’t see, but you can’t trust them, Ella. They have their own agendas. My only agenda is to keep you safe.”
What is he talking about? Trust who?
And did he just say ghosts?
“Rest, and when you wake up, don’t freak out. If you scream, I’ll never keep your mom out of the room.”
Scream?
I try so hard to open my eyes, but they’re heavy, and they don’t want to budge. The effort tires me out, and I slip away to the darkness, only this time, there are no whispers.
Cecily’s humming pulls me back out of the darkness the next time. She loves to sing. She’s not very good at it, but she tries anyway, and we don’t laugh at her. Sometimes I want to run from the room with my hands over my ears, but I stay because she’s my baby sister.
I recognize the tune. It’s the same one Mom sang to us when we were little, the one from Anastasia—Once Upon a December.
It makes me feel safe, like I’m snuggled in my bed at home instead of in this dark place full of things that won’t leave me alone.
/> “Keep doing that. I think it’s helping.” Dad’s voice breaks through the dark, and I reach for him. My eyelids flutter, and pain unlike anything I’ve ever felt slams into me. I hurt before, but it’s nothing like this.
“Out! Everyone out now! Get the doctor and the nurse, but warn them she might not be herself when she wakes up.”
A hand slips into mine, and it’s blessedly warm. I’m freezing, and that warmth helps to pull me toward the surface, even though it hurts.
“Calm down, Ella. Just take your time.” Eli’s voice is soothing, and I push farther to the surface, toward the pain. I’ll take the pain over the darkness any day of the week. It’s better than an abyss of nothing but whispers, most of them scary.
My eyelids flutter, and the first faint signs of light filter through the lashes, and more pain vibrates through my body. I fell once and broke my shoulder blade. This reminds me of that.
“That’s it,” Eli coaxes. “Almost there, just open your eyes a little more.”
As if on command, I do. It’s blurry, and my eyes are gritty. I try to rub them, but my arms are too heavy. As if sensing what I’m trying to do, Eli gently rubs my eyelids and massages the soreness away.
“Just focus on me, Ella. Don’t look anywhere else.”
“We need to check her…”
“No, Renee, let Eli be. We don’t want her more scared than she needs to be.”
Scared? Why would I be scared?
Eli’s fingers leave my eyelids, and I open them, of my own accord this time. He has my face anchored, so I have to look at him. His very unusual eyes come into focus first, and then his face, which still strikes me as beautiful. There’s this golden haze around him. Has to be the sunlight from the window mixed with my strange state of mind. He doesn’t have a halo.
“There you are. We were worried about you.”
“I…” I cough and wheeze, my throat seizing up.
“Don’t try to talk. We had a tube down your throat for a few days to help you breathe. Your lung collapsed on us during surgery. It’s going to take some time for the soreness to go away.” This from beside me.
