by Apryl Baker
“Do you remember what happened?” Eli asks.
I start to answer and think better of it. Shaking my head causes just as much pain since it sends shards of it through my skull.
“You were in an accident. A car hit you in the school parking lot. You don’t remember any of that?”
I mouth the word no at him.
His lips purse. “I’m going to let your head go. Look around slowly. If you see anything that causes panic, just squeeze my hand.”
Curious as to why he and everyone else is being careful, I let my gaze sweep the room. I’m hooked up to a lot of machines, but other than that, it’s an ordinary hospital room. The doctor and nurse, presumably Renee, are to my left, and Eli is to my right. Other than the standard hospital furniture, everything’s fine.
“Do you see anything unusual?” Eli’s gaze is intent.
I shake my head, ever so slightly this time around.
He lets out a breath and moves back to let the doctors start their work. For the next few minutes, I’m poked, prodded, light shined into my eyes. I feel worse than when I woke up.
“You are very lucky, young lady.” The nurse, Renee, tsks at me as she checks my IV.
I arch a brow at her. I don’t think anything about this is lucky.
“You lived. You had massive head trauma we all thought would kill you, and you lived. Someone was looking out for you.”
Something niggles at the back of my mind, a voice telling me I wouldn’t remember something. Frowning, I try to force the memory, but it’s not working. Maybe it’s just one more whisper that made no sense.
“I swear, if you don’t let me in there, I’m going to body check someone!”
I laugh at Mom’s nearby screech. She’d do it, too.
Without further argument, my room door is opened and Mom rushes in, Daddy and Cecily right behind her.
“Oh, baby!” Tears run unabashedly down my mother’s face. She looks like she’s aged ten years since I saw her at breakfast this morning…or a few days ago, I guess. “You scared me so much.”
“Careful of her ribs,” Renee cautions, staying out of my mother’s line of sight. “Eight of them were crushed and had to be put back together with metal.”
“I know that,” Mom snaps. Her face softens when she looks at me. “Does it hurt?”
I nod.
“She’s in pain. Fix it.” The hostility rolling off my mom when she looks away from me is scary.
I look to see Renee scurry out of the room, wanting away from the she-devil that is my mother. I’d be terrified, too. Heck, she looks at me and Cecily with a disappointed look on her face and I want to hide. Thank God she’s never once given me the scary voice.
“Hey, sweet pea.” Daddy leans over and kisses my forehead. “You do that again and you’re grounded until you’re fifty.”
I laugh and start coughing, which sets off a whole chain reaction of pain. Mom tries to help, but it hurts more. Eli gently pushes her aside and helps me to sit up, his hand rubbing up and down my back. The pain eases almost instantly. It doesn’t go away, but it lets up enough so I can breathe. How did he do that?
“How did you do that?” Mom asks, a little hint of wonder on her face.
“I told you before, Mrs. Banks, I am whatever she needs me to be, and right now, it was someone who helped her breathe.”
What the what? I glance up at him, eyes wide. He only grins and winks in return. Cecily sighs and fans herself.
People need to start explaining what’s going on.
Renee bustles back in a few minutes later and puts something in my IV. “This will help with the pain. If you’re feeling up to it later, I’ll bring you some broth to eat. We don’t want to put too much on your stomach after everything.”
Honestly, I’m not the least bit hungry. I’m not sure how long it’s been since I’ve eaten, but the thought of food does nothing. I’m diabetic, so eating right and on time is hardwired into my routine. Can’t get my sugars off balance. But if someone shoved a piece of triple chocolate fudge cake at me, I’d be like, bleh, where before I’d be so jealous, I’d want to stab someone.
“Your appetite will come back. I’ve been here before. Your body needs time to catch up.”
How does Eli know what I was just thinking?
“We should probably let her rest. Yes, I know she just woke up, but her body is healing, and sleep is the best thing for her right now.” Renee starts jotting things down on a piece of paper as she looks at the machines I’m hooked to. “I’m not asking anyone to leave, just that you let her sleep.”
“Nurse Renee is right. She’s going to need all her strength for when…”
Mom nods and looks at me, tears in her eyes. “I’m going to take your sister to get food. Your dad and Eli will stay with you. We won’t be gone long.” Mom kisses me, hugging me ever so lightly, but it still jostles me, and it hurts. A small hiss of pain escapes before I can stop it.
“I’m so sorry, Ella Grace.”
I smile to let her know it’s okay.
It’s not until she and my sister are gone that I look to my dad. These two know something, and I think Mom left so they could explain.
Only I don’t get to ask my questions.
Instead, I start to scream.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Ella
Behind my dad stands a train wreck.
I mean, literally, that’s what I think you’d look like if you’d been in a train wreck. Is it even a person at this point?
He’s wearing a mechanic’s blue work shirt with the name Larry flashing at me like a neon sign amongst the gore. The body, which had been slender to begin with, is just a patchwork of broken bones and cuts. The skin hangs from his frame like the ribbons Mom used to put in my hair when I was little. Blood splatters onto the floor, making an odd sound, almost like a faucet dripping. His eyes are green, bright against the chalky white pallor of his skin.
And his mouth…
His mouth is just gone, a gaping hole where only a portion of the jawbone is visible, and even that is a broken mess of bone shards.
He’s horrific.
“Calm down, Ella.” Eli’s voice is right by my ear as I become aware of nurses rushing into the room. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” I try to whisper, but my throat is too raw. “There’s this…this thing standing right behind Daddy.”
“It’s a ghost.” Eli’s voice takes some of the panic away, but not all of it.
“He…” I break off, coughing.
“He’s here because he senses you can see him when no one else can.”
“Ghosts aren’t real,” I manage to choke out.
“Yes, they are, Ella Grace.”
My head snaps to where my dad is sitting, oblivious to the horror standing right behind him.
“Ghosts, angels, demons, werewolves, vampires…everything you see in the movies and in horror books is real.”
I shake my head, refusing to believe any of this, but the man standing there, holding his hand out to me, is hard to deny.
“I learned about them early in my career in the Army and have been part of the specialized unit that deals with them for over twenty years now.”
“No.”
“Yes.” Dad takes my hand and squeezes it. “When you died, honey, and Eli resuscitated you, it awoke a sleeping ability in you.”
What is he saying?
“You can see ghosts, Ella Grace.”
“You’re a living reaper,” Eli clarifies. “There are ghosts, souls still trapped on this plane of existence for whatever reason that need help. Sometimes they don’t know they’re dead, sometimes they won’t leave because they have unfinished business, and sometimes they’re here so long, they go crazy and start hurting people. The ones who go crazy, those I can see, but you can see them all.”
“I don’t want to,” I whisper.
“I know, but it’s not something that will go away. You need to learn to accept it. Part of your job now i
s to help them leave, to help them cross over, if you will.”
He sounds like some crazy scam artist who tells a person they can talk to their loved ones for a fee.
Again, I just shake my head. I’m dreaming. I have to be.
“It’s not a dream, Ella. I promise.”
Is he reading my mind or something? How does he know I was just thinking that?
He grins. “I’m your Guardian Angel. Every living reaper gets one, and I’m yours. I can sense your feelings, if you’re happy or in danger. Sometimes your thoughts are so loud, I hear those too. And I’ll always be able to find you. I once thought death broke the bond, but that’s not true. Even in death, if you need me, I’ll find you. I’m here to help you, Ella Grace.”
Guardian Angel? Is he telling me he’s some kind of actual Angel? I mean, I keep thinking he’s beautiful, almost ethereal, but he’s really an Angel?
None of this makes sense.
“I don’t understand.” More coughing.
Eli gives me a bottle of water, and I take several sips when the coughing subsides.
“It’s not easy to understand.” Eli keeps his soft, gentle tone. “It’s scary. The ghosts come to you as they died, not as they were in life.”
Closing my eyes, I turn inward. I shouldn’t have woken up. I think the whispers were better than this. It can’t be true. This is a nightmare.
“Can you give her something to put her back to sleep?” Dad asks. “She’s not ready to face this yet. She’s not strong enough.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” The conviction in Eli’s voice is unmistakable. “She’s strong, or she wouldn’t have survived. She wouldn’t have clawed her way back to the light. Don’t dismiss her fear as being weak. Fear makes us remember we’re alive, that there’s a reason to fight. It doesn’t make us weak.”
No one’s ever said anything like that to me before. I’m the quiet one, the one who’d rather read a book than go out and watch a movie. The one who can go for days without saying a word. I’m the one who gets overlooked most of the time.
But he’s not doing that.
He’s telling me I’m strong and to be proud of it.
As much as I appreciate his confidence in me, it doesn’t mean I’m willing to open my eyes and see that awful person standing there.
“Sleep is a good thing, though. She needs to rest, because I’m sure the sheriff will want to talk to her about the car that hit her.”
They can ask me all they want; I don’t remember any of it.
“Major Banks, can you leave us alone for a little while?”
“Of course. I’ll be right outside in the waiting room. Dad loves you, sweet pea.” He kisses me, and I hear his footsteps as they leave the room.
It’s quiet for a long time, just the sound of the machines and Eli’s deep breathing. He hasn’t said a word. Is he waiting on me to say something? Talking hurts, and I’m not opening my eyes.
“You’re stronger than you think, you know.”
I wish I believed him.
“There’s someone here you need to meet, Ella, so you have to open your eyes.”
I shake my head mutely. Not happening.
“Every living reaper is given a teacher as well as a Guardian Angel. Your teacher is here, and she wants to help you help the ghost in the room.”
None of this is real.
“It’s very real,” Eli counters. “I promise you this isn’t a dream, Ella. If you can open your eyes and talk to your teacher, the ghost will leave, and I can keep the other ghosts out for a little while.”
“He’ll leave?” I whisper.
“Yes, but not until you help him.”
I so do not want to do this.
But grudgingly, I open my eyes, and the horror-fest is still right there, staring at me. I shudder away from him.
“Hi, Ella.”
A girl about my age sits in the chair Daddy had been in. She’s short, shorter than me, and that’s saying something. Dark brown hair is pulled up in a ponytail that is a darker chocolaty color than her eyes. She reminds me of my friend from Texas, Maria Ramirez. They’re both Hispanic, and they both have this kind expression that seems to be a permanent fixture on their faces.
“I’m Selena, and I’m here to help you.”
“Can you make him go away?”
“I can, but you need to learn how to deal with the ghosts that come to you. It’s scary, I know, but they need help just the same as you needed help when you came here.”
“I…” Another fit of coughing ensues.
“Don’t try to talk,” Selena soothes. “The ghosts can hear you whether you speak or not. So can I, since I’m your teacher. You’re brand new, so we don’t expect a lot. It’s not like when a new vampire is made or a shifter shifts for the first time. They’re the most powerful as a newborn, but a living reaper is like a little baby bird. They need help, guidance, and as they grow, they become stronger.”
I blink at her casual use of the monster references.
“Reapers are given the job of ferrying the souls of the dead between the planes of existence. This plane is where the living reside. The ghost plane runs parallel to this one, and that is where the ghost is trapped, able to see the living, but not able to touch them, to bridge the gap between the worlds. Usually. There are rare exceptions. Reapers, though, we reside in both planes, able to walk in both as needed. We are their bridge.”
I can walk in the land of the dead?
Selena laughs, and her voice echoes through my head, making me wince because it hurts a little. “In a manner of speaking, yes, you can walk in the land of the dead, but you’d need me to help you. You couldn’t see the dangers that are in The Between.”
“The Between?”
“It’s the place that is between this world and the next one, full of dark creatures who feed on souls. Our job, my job, is to take them safely to their judgement and then on to wherever they need to be.”
“Judgement?”
Selene smiles. “Yes, all that stuff is real. We are all judged on our actions in this life. There’s no escaping that.”
Huh. Well, I guess Grandpa knows what he’s talking about, then.
“You are not a full-fledged reaper, so you cannot open the doorway to help the ghosts cross over, but you can help them understand they’re dead and that they need to leave this plane. That is your job. When you’ve talked the ghost into doing that, then you call for me and I’ll escort the soul to the judgement.”
“Why can’t I just call you when they show up?”
“Because, little reaper, your abilities will eventually push you to help them, and if you’re not properly trained, your gifts could go haywire and you might accidentally hurt someone, someone you love.”
“I could hurt people?”
“Not you, but the ghosts that come to you. Some of them won’t be gentle. They’ll be angry and violent. If you can’t learn to control your gifts and help them, they could hurt the people you’re around. You don’t want that, do you?”
“No,” I whisper, as horrified at the prospect of an angry ghost hurting Cecily or Mom as I am about the ghost standing in my room.
Eli glances toward the door and taps his watch. Mom and Cecily will be back soon.
“What do I need to do?”
Selena smiles. “Just close your eyes and look inside yourself for the part of you that is new, that is off center. We all see it as something different. Sometimes it’s something we fear and must overcome, but other times, it can be a happy memory. It all depends on the reaper.”
Sounds simple, but things are rarely simple.
Doing as Selena asks, I close my eyes and…
And nothing.
All I can really focus on is that there’s a ghost at the foot of my bed. Do they really think I can help this thing?
“Stop thinking of it as a thing.” Eli’s voice is whisper soft against my ear. “It was just like you and me once. It was and is a he. It’s not his physical
body you’re seeing, it’s his soul. It’s lost and confused and just needs help. Think of that instead of what he looks like now. Think of your sister. If it were her, wouldn’t you want someone to help her move on so she’s not stuck here, her mind slowly leaching away until nothing’s left but anger?”
Of course I’d want someone to help Cecily. I love my sister, but I guess that’s Eli’s point. This guy is loved by someone, too, and they’d want him to be helped.
I try again.
Selena says it’s the worst or the best memory of my life. My best memory is of us all at the beach, the warmth of the sun bathing my face as Cecily and I bury Dad in the sand. I was about ten, I think. I look around for this white light, and I come up short.
So, it’s not that memory.
I turn instead to the worst memory of my life—when I was lost in the mountains in Germany. The cold had been debilitating and the snow-covered trees had all looked the same. The area was a mass of white landscape with the few empty branches reaching out to snag me. I’d trudged for hours, forcing myself to walk to keep warm. I knew if I stopped to rest, I’d fall asleep and never wake up. Daddy had warned me and Cecily about that, so I did everything I could to stay awake.
And it’s here, amongst the cold, that I see the white flare of pulsing light deep into the labyrinth of trees. If I go deeper and the cold gets more severe, I don’t know if I can keep my eyes open. I’m tired and sleepy.
I take two steps toward the light, and my head falls forward, my eyes drooping.
“Do you see it?” Selena asks softly, her words reverberating through my head.
“Yes, but I can’t reach it.”
“Is it in a good place or a scary place?”
“Scary.”
Selene lets out a breath. “It’s okay to be afraid to go into the scary place. In fact, that means you’re okay. If you’re afraid, then you’re alive, Ella. That light is how you escape the fear. Reach for it, let it wrap around you and bathe you in its bright cold depths.”
“I’m afraid of the cold, though.”
“Ella, we are reapers, and reapers are death. The cold is who we are. You can fear it, but you must embrace it too. Our solace is the cold.”
