Dastardly

by Lorraine Ray

The air wrenches rattle away as I sign the repair estimate for my car, initially the lines as the service writer requests. Fixing my car will make a trip to the boondocks safer. The clipboard wobbles in my hands and I return it to my service writer.

  My phone rings as I walk back to my apartment.

  “Listen, something has come up,” says Marsha nervously. “Can you take care of Bailey?”

  “Sure. Bring her over. I’m walking back to my place now. My car’s in the shop. What’s wrong?” I ask her this because her voice sounds shaky and scared.

  “I’ll tell you later.”

  Here I’m about six weeks out from the time when I had robbed Marsha and Bailey of a thousand dollars. Spending it on my car. Now Marsha has a problem and needs my help. Hope it’s not a money problem. Do I feel lousy? Ha. I try to run, but I’m out of shape and I’m wearing moccasins which don’t want to stay on my feet.

  I’m out of breath when I get to the glorious Don Francisco Apartments. I narrowly escape Mrs. Hernandez who seems to want to invite me to another Canasta tourney.

  When Marsha arrives to leave Bailey at my house for the day, Bailey starts jumping around on my sofa and staring out the window at Mrs. Hernandez who is still lurking on the stairs.

  “Vig, we need to talk.” I go to the kitchen part of my apartment with Marsha. Marsha might be about to reveal her everlasting love or something and I’m surprised and disturbed to feel so upset inside and also I’m surprised she is going to be so frank with me at last. I feel a pressure in my chest to be near her like this when she is going to finally discuss the big thing with me and I wonder how I’m going to react. I have thought about it before, but no matter how I imagine it, I find when it is happening I don’t know how to arrange my face. What kind of reaction should I give her? Should I act surprised or nonchalant? Flattered? Receptive? None of those responses appeal to me. I’m strangely gratified by what’s happening, yet unbelievably nervous.

  “Okay, sure,” I say. I shove my hands in the front pockets of my jeans. I can’t remember the last time I’ve done that.

  “It’s about Bailey. I’ve got a pretty big issue coming up. I wanted you to know ahead of time. I might need your help. With babysitting. I don’t think it will be too often, but I can’t tell right now.” So the mystery she has in mind has nothing whatsoever to do with love between the two of us. Is it disappointment I’m feeling? What an odd response, because I should feel relief.

  “Her teeth are doing some strange things.” Marsha shakes her head and puts one hand on her hip. “I can’t believe we’re having this bad luck. I was so happy when the damn things fell out. Now her mouth is a disaster zone.” Bailey has lost both her front teeth months earlier, but new ones haven’t emerged in the sockets.

  “What? What exactly is happening?”

  “It’s her front teeth. They’re coming in wrong. Through the roof of her mouth instead of the spot where they fell out. I didn’t even realize there was anything wrong until Thursday. That’s when they showed me the teeth coming in the top of her mouth. We were at our dentist. She was having a regular checkup. Her front teeth are coming in through the gum in the roof of her mouth. It’s so freaky.”

  “Holy shit. That’s weird.”

  “You could say that, Vig. It’s worrying.”

  “I understand now.”

  “I had to get an emergency appointment with an orthodontist.”

  “Wow.”

  “I got in there late Friday and he took one look and immediately sent her to another orthodontist. A specialist for weird cases.”

  “Crap.”

  “Yesterday we met with the new orthodontist who told me what it’s going to take to get the teeth in the right spot. It’s very complicated and time consuming.”

  “That’s gotta be a shock,” I commiserate.

  “And it’s gonna be painful for Bailey.”

  “Crap.”

  “And expensive. I haven’t bought any dental insurance, either.

  The news about Bailey hits me with the biggest blow. I’d dropped my car off at the mechanics and spent all the extra dough I’d gotten from my landlord forgiving the late month and an extra month rent on Danish ale, better food, and gas and food for the trip to find gold with the old coot. Of course, I’d planned to give Marsha and Bailey the proceeds from the gold, if we find it, but I now realize how ridiculous this seems in light of Marsha’s real problem.

  I can see from Marsha’s face how upset she is and we didn’t even speak about it for a minute. I can hear an old alarm clock I have on the foot locker ticking loudly seconds after she dropped that bombshell.

  “Oh listen. I wish I could do something for you guys, Marsha. I mean I feel badly. I don’t have any of the dough you gave me anymore. I spent the last of it on car repairs. My car is in the shop. I thought I needed those. I’ve got a plan—”

  “Oh, I didn’t expect you to help in the money realm, Vig. I’m telling you as an old friend of the family so you know what’s going on with us.”

  “Oh gosh. But I want to help you. I do.”

  “I didn’t think you’d be able to do much. I might need you to take her to an appointment or to babysit. That’s what I had in mind.”

  “Any time. Say the word. You know I’ll help.”

  “Well, that’s all I’ll need. She might have too much pain to return to school if she gets the first procedure done and you might have to babysit her for me. They’re going to attach some wires to the teeth and try to drag them forward slowly.”

  “Oh, crap. That sounds gruesome. Poor Bailey. Okay. I’ll be available. You know I’ll be available.”

  A few minutes later Bailey runs to me and Marsha, and she says, “My teeth are coming in the roof of my mouth instead of where they’re supposed to, Uncle Viggy. It’s so freaky! Look! Look in here. Youg cang reglly see dem comin in de ruf. Cannit yo? Dode ya see?”

  “Yes, I do see them. Hmm.”

  “I’ve got these super sharpish teethies poking out of the roof of my mouth! Look, look up there at them again.”

  “Yes, dear. Disturbing.”

  “Isn’t it funny? It’s like I’m a vampire, Uncle Viggy! A vampire or something. Like you’re always talking about vampires. Isn’t that funny? I’m becoming one!” She is so damn excited and thrilled about this defect, silly kid. Unbelievable! She doesn’t even realize her mother is terrified she won’t have the money to fix this terrible thing that’s wrong with her daughter and what is the kid gonna do without front teeth, huh, has she ever thought of anything as simple as that? What is she gonna do without any front teeth. It isn’t funny or thrilling. It’s horrible. I have known Bailey since she was three, and now at eight there’s a bond between the three of us. The orthodontist is going to try to pull the teeth forward with wires, Marsha had told me, but I know it’s going to take years of work and lots of money. Years of appointments, measurements, and adjustments. You won’t do too well in life if you don’t have any front teeth; let’s face it. Bailey doesn’t realize that this is going to be a disaster at the front of her mouth if she doesn’t have teeth! She doesn’t realize it will wreck her looks in five or six years if her mother doesn’t do anything right now. And she doesn’t realize it’s going to cost a small fortune to fix, even if they could fix it. That’s the way kids are stupid. Something you find out along the way of getting a little older and wiser.

  Why should I care at all about Marsha’s troubles? Or why care about Bailey having wrong thinking, or even what’s happening to her teeth? There isn’t a logical answer at all and I don’t want to care, to tell the truth, I don’t want to give a shit at all for them and their problems. It makes me nervous to think of how much I care.